Needs and Wants
by averysubtlegift
Summary: All human. B/E Edward and Bella meet, but Bella has a long-distance boyfriend named Jacob. Will the course of true love run smooth? Does Alice know more about the future than she's letting on? Fluff, drama, and "lemonade".
1. A little Party

_AN: I am trying my hand at an all human story - not sure how it will pan out - but I've enjoyed reading everyone else's and had to try one. FYI : Bella and Emmett are cousins. Alice and Edward - siblings - Edward is older by a year. Rosalie and Jasper will make appearances - unrelated to each other or anyone else in the story._

_**Disclaimer - The Twilight series and it's characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended**. _

Chapter 1 A Little Party

I quickly checked myself over in the mirror before heading out of my room. I wasn't quite sure how dressed up I should be getting for this party. I had decided on some low slung jeans and a little black fitted tee. It was borderline sexy, but still casual, and definitely comfortable. I'd thrown a bit of make-up on as well - some extra liner to make my eyes look smoky and a deeper shade of gloss than I would wear to school. My deep brown eyes and my full pouty lips are my best features, so I tend to play them up. My thick brown hair was down and flowed around my shoulders. All in all I looked pretty good. Of course, I knew I was nothing spectacular, pretty much an average girl, but I had enough self-esteem to know I wasn't hideous or anything either. Of course I was going to a party at the home of my new best friend Alice, who was incredibly gorgeous, and that thought made me feel very "plain Jane" for a moment - but we can't all be that perfectly pretty. My mother calling up the stairs broke me out of my silly daydreaming. I may not be a truly typical seventeen year old girl - but I think we are all universally concerned with how we look to some extent - and in that way - I am the same as everyone else.

"I'll be right down, mom." I called. I flung my door open and nearly took a header down the stairs. There was a pile of boxes directly outside of my door, which I had not expected. I was lucky to grab the banister and right myself. We had only been in this house for a few weeks, and somehow new unpacked boxes kept magically appearing. These boxes, I was happy to see, actually contained a bunch of my CDs and mementos from my old room. I am sure my father dropped them by my door, which amazes me, seeing as how we are both incredibly clumsy. You'd think he would realize how hazardous they would be to my health on the floor outside of my door.

I scrambled down the stairs, anxious to head over to Alice's. My mom was in the kitchen. She was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea and nosing through a book. She set it down when I came in and I eagerly snatched it up to read the summary on the back. My mom and I were kindred spirits and best friends. She was the best mom I could ever hope for. She had given me a love of reading and language, she always reassured me that I was her beautiful daughter - inside and out, and she was always there for me, no matter how big or small the situation. She was a real mom, even though we were friends, she never let that interfere with the need to be a parent first. We didn't always agree or get along - but I would never trade her for anything. Her new book looked interesting.

"I want to read this when you're done." I told her.

"I assumed you would, it's pretty good so far." She looked over my outfit quickly. "You look very nice, honey. It's probably best that dad is out though - he'd be worried that your shirt is too short and your jeans are too tight and every boy at the party is going to fall madly in love with you." Our eyes met and we laughed hysterically.

I was definitely daddy's little girl - and even though I was going to be eighteen in a few weeks , my dad still saw me as a five year old in pig tails. He's a great dad, just a little blind to the fact that I've grown up. He is a well known forensics expert and is extremely serious about his work and his family. My parents have a wonderful marriage, my dad tends to be stoic and strict, but my mom is tender hearted and balances him nicely. His work brings us all over, and this is the fourth place we've lived in ten years. I was a bit upset to have to move halfway through my senior year - but my dad's work is important and I know it was hard for him to move us this time. He works in the city about an hour from here. He settled us in a little town south of the city, and it is a little town indeed. My first day of school was incredibly awkward. There were more kids in the graduating class of my old school then in the entire high school here. Luckily, Alice Cullen had befriended me right away, and I have to say that I was amazed at how quickly we became friends. She is the best friend I have ever had, and that is the biggest reason I no longer regret having had to move. Alice's family lives a little ways across town, her dad is a surgeon at the local hospital. Her parents are similar to my own, our mom's have met through all of their community service activities - and they have struck up a pretty good friendship as well.

"Remember, no drinking, Bella - and if things get out of hand - you know you can always call us." My mom reminded me. "You are also not to drive anyone anywhere in your car. Correct?"

"Yes mom - I know - Mr. and Mrs. Cullen will be home - and they won't allow drinking either. I'm just going to the party and then staying at Alice's for a sleepover. I promise not to take anyone anywhere in my car." My parents set rules and expected me to follow them - for the most part I was pretty compliant. They trusted me, and I felt the need to be worthy of that trust.

I gave my mom a quick kiss goodbye, grabbed my overnight stuff, made sure I had my phone - and grabbed my keys. "Bye mom - tell dad I said goodnight."

"Drive carefully, sweetie."

I dropped my stuff in the passenger seat of my new Jeep. Well, it wasn't brand new - but pretty close - and I loved it. It was a red Wrangler with an awesome stereo - I couldn't wait until the summer, when I could drive with the top off. My parents had gotten it for me when we moved out here, partly as a consolation for the whole move - and partly because most of the older kids drove to school here. My old school was so crowded that parking spots were given out to seniors only, in a type of lottery - and I hadn't been lucky enough to obtain one. It was a relief to drive to school like the rest of the kids here - not to mention the great feeling of freedom knowing I had my own car and could just go whenever I wanted.

I was about to head out of the driveway when I heard my phone. I knew it would be Alice - I was running late, and I am sure she wanted to know what was taking me so long. She was kind of throwing this party in my honor. I hadn't wanted her to, and I had secretly hoped if I got there a little late it would take me out of the spotlight a bit. I dreaded being the center of attention. It wasn't that I was terribly shy, or that I felt awkward - it's more that I liked to be more on the fringe of things - I was more of an observer by nature. I liked to sort of take everything in, instead of being the one to lead the crowd. Alice was more the leader type. She felt I needed to meet - pretty much the entire student body of the high school - and had decided a party was the best way to make that happen. Everyone at school had been talking about the party. Apparently, parties at the Cullen's are a thing of legend.

"Hello?"

"Bella!? Where are you? People are already showing up, everyone wants to meet you."

"I'm leaving right now - I am in my car. Sorry about being late - I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Alright - but hurry. There is someone special you have to meet."

I cranked my radio and headed out of the driveway. I wondered who Alice might want me to meet. I had had a serious boyfriend where we used to live - but seeing that it was a three day drive from there to here - it seemed pointless to try to keep it up. We still talk on the phone a bit, and I plan to return and go to college there - we want to try to pick things up then. Jacob is such a sweetheart. If my friendship with Alice is the best thing about moving here - leaving Jacob was the worst thing about moving away. I really believe I was starting to fall in love with him. I had told Alice this, after she had tried to introduce me to every senior boy that she deemed worthy. That's why her remark surprised me. She knew I wasn't really interested in dating anyone right now - yet her comment sounded like she had a guy she wanted me to meet. Oh well - there is nothing I can do but go find out. I forgot about Alice's little puzzle and lost myself in the music and driving. Before I knew it - I was pulling down Alice's long windy drive. There were lots of cars, seemingly everywhere. Alice had already told me to park at the garage since I was staying over. It was not easy to maneuver through the cars, but I found the spot by the garage she had saved for me and jumped out. I took a deep breath to calm my nervous stomach and headed for her door.

I could hear the music a ways from the house. I had no idea how anyone would hear me knocking on the door. I decided to just let myself in. I'd only been in Alice's house once - and it had only been for a few minutes while she grabbed a book for me to borrow. Their house was lovely, bigger than ours, with a big porch along the front and beautiful landscaping . I'd only seen the front room - but could tell the house was decorated with an expert touch. It reminded me of those picture layouts in home magazines.

I had barely walked through the door when I felt someone throw their arms around me. I knew it was Alice.

"You're finally here! Come downstairs - everyone will be so excited that you're here."

I hugged her back and laughed at her enthusiasm. She led me down a staircase to a series of rooms. The entire basement section of the house, which was huge, was packed with people. There was a game room with a pool table and various games, all of which seemed to be in use. The music was blaring out of a huge juke-box in this room and a corner was being used as an impromptu dance floor. There was another large room that was more of a sitting area with a comfortable couch and chairs. The last room opened up to the backyard through a set of French doors. There was a huge television along the wall and there were a lot of guys in this room watching a basketball game - yelling at the screen and each other. Through the doors you could catch a glimpse of the backyard. It was too dark to tell much - but I could make out a beautiful inground pool and more incredible landscaping. Alice informed me that all the soda and drinks were outside the doors.

As we made our way through the crowd she stopped to introduce me to various people. Everyone was friendly and in the case of the guys - some were very friendly. I met up with the girls I usually have lunch with, we spent a while chatting - pointing out the guys that looked exceptionally good this evening. A boy named Mike, who is in a bunch of my classes asked if I would dance with him. It was fun - nothing hot and steamy - but fun all the same. He stayed by my side for a while, running to get me a drink and pointing out various people that Alice hadn't introduced yet. He told me his parent's owned a sporting goods store in town and he worked for them a few days a week. When Mike finally left my side, some junior girls came over to strike up a conversation - and this pattern continued for the next two hours. As soon as I was free of one group, someone else would claim my attention. It was nice in a way - that so many people wanted to say hello, but it was starting to get overwhelming. I hadn't seen Alice in the past twenty minutes, and when I saw her passing, out of the corner of my eye, I grabbed her arm. She looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry Bella. I want to hang out with you - but I need to be a good host too. You're not mad are you?"

"No! Not at all - I know we'll have lots of time to hang out later - I just need a break for a minute. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?"

She hesitated for a moment - which I found strange. Then she smiled and told me to go up two flights and use the bathroom that was the second door on the right.

"Up two flights - second door on the right?" I repeated back to her. She smiled and nodded. It seemed odd that I would need to head up all that way for a bathroom, but I really did need a bit of a break from all the noise and people. A little walk could be a good thing.

It took a few minutes to get to the stairs, more friendly people needed to say hi.

When I finally got to the top of the second flight of stairs, I slowed. The quiet and lack of people was a relief. I headed for the second door on the right. I knocked, as the door was closed. When no one answered, I opened the door. After taking two steps into the room I froze. This wasn't a bathroom! It was a bedroom and there on the bed with his eyes closed was the single hottest guy I had ever seen.


	2. The Boy on the Bed

_**Disclaimer : All Twilight themes and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer**_

Chapter 2 The Boy on the Bed

I stood there motionless, rooted to the spot. I could feel that I was blushing, a very embarrassing tendency I have, especially when I am stressed. I knew I needed to turn around and quietly exit the room, but I really couldn't move. This had to be Alice's brother, she'd mentioned him a few times in passing. He was the "golden boy" who had graduated last year. He'd been the star pitcher of the champion baseball team and valedictorian. He was going to college in the city, but apparently he had come home for the weekend.

I studied him for a moment, unable to look away. He had full lips, and the thought that he was probably an incredible kisser with lips like that flew though me head. He looked solid, not built like a weight lifter, but lithe and muscular. He looked tall, having long legs and a long torso. His t-shirt was slightly raised and I could see the lines of his tight stomach peeking out invitingly. His face was angelic with those yummy lips, high cheek bones, and a rugged angular jaw. His hair was slightly long on top, falling carelessly into his face - it was an interesting shade of reddish-brown - almost bronze. It looked like he had the sexiest case of bed-head ever. I desperately wanted to go over and brush it off his face. I noticed an I-pod lying on the bed - he had headphones on - which is probably why he didn't hear me knock.

'Bella - get a grip' I told myself. What was my problem. In the 20 seconds I was standing there I must have had ten incredibly naughty fantasies about the boy on the bed. I wasn't exactly innocent - Jacob and I had done our share of fooling around - I guess I was like a "technical virgin" -we'd done pretty much everything short of actual sex. Yet, even though I thought I had been falling in love with Jacob - I had never had a thought about him like I was having about this guy right now. I needed to leave - NOW. I turned on my heel. I hoped I could just exit unseen, despite my moment of ogling - I was really embarrassed at entering the wrong room - I was sure Alice said second door on the right. Just as I was about to reach for the handle to pull the door closed behind me, I heard his amazingly sexy voice. Holy crow - what was it about this guy that was making me so crazy. I didn't want to turn around and face him.

"What are you doing?" He asked again - sounding slightly agitated. I turned to explain. He was sitting up, staring intently at me - awaiting my answer. He had incredible green eyes .

"I'm so sorry. I was looking for the bathroom - I knocked - but no one answered - I really didn't mean to barge into your room." I was surprised I was able to speak - but I wanted him to understand that it was just a mistake.

"Why would you come up to this floor to use the bathroom? There are a bunch of bathrooms downstairs." He was sounding a bit rude now - as if he didn't believe my story.

I was a bit annoyed at his question - he sounded as if he thought I was purposely stalking him. I don't care if he's hot - he doesn't need to be rude.

"I've never really been to your house before - I asked Alice and she said up two flights and second door on the right - I know that's what she said. I didn't know it was your room. - You really don't need to be rude."

He stared at me a moment - and then surprised me when his face broke into a lopsided grin that made my heart do something crazy. He ran a hand through his hair - then stood and walked towards me. He stopped a few steps away, he smelled delicious. He looked at me for another moment, brow furrowed as if trying to remember something.

"Are you Alice's new friend, uh, Bella?" He smirked now. I nodded, a bit speechless due to his proximity.

"I have a feeling I'm being punished for being rude - I'm sorry if you thought I was upset with you. My sister asked me earlier to come down and meet you - but I was in a bit of a bad mood and didn't really want to deal with the whole mob. Please don't take that personally - it wasn't against you. I have a feeling she sent you up here, so I wouldn't have a choice about meeting you. She's very subtle isn't she? This is indeed the second door on the right." He laughed quietly.

"I'm usually not rude - I swear. Can we try this again?" He smiled again.

I nodded again - he probably thought I was some kind of idiot - incapable of having a conversation.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you." He held his hand out to me. I shook it carefully and felt myself blushing again when he continued to hold onto it.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you as well." I smiled.

"Are you enjoying your party?"

"It's okay - I know Alice meant well - and I appreciate her efforts on my behalf - but I am not really one for enjoying big parties. Actually, the party would probably have been okay - I just don't like being the center of attention."

"I can't imagine you not being the center of attention." He answered quietly.

Oh my gosh - did he just say that!? And he is still holding my hand. Was this the special person Alice wanted me to meet. I was hoping it was. I decided not to respond to that comment.

"Are you home for the weekend?"

"Yes, I try to get home on weekends when I can. My mom's still not really thrilled with me living away from home. It makes her happy when I visit." He looked at our hands for a moment and gently released my fingers - to my dismay.

We settled into easy conversation. He showed me around his room. He had a keyboard attached to various cords, which he explained, allowed him to compose music, record it, and listen through his headphones , so as not to disturb the rest of the house.

"It's handy when I wake up at 3:00am inspired to play." I glanced down at his hands, noting his long fingers, the fingers of a piano player, remembering how they felt entwined with my own.

I got the tour of the baseball trophies loaded on a set of shelves to one side, and stopped to look at a framed picture of Edward and a beautiful blonde at the prom. Of course they were the king and queen, fitting. I felt a brief pang in my stomach as I wondered if she was his girlfriend.

The room was remarkably tidy. The bed had a thick green comforter that matched the curtains. There was a plush carpet to one side - as well as a desk scattered with papers and pencils. There was a section of shelves with carefully ordered CDs , his taste seemed to range all over the place. The room had a very pleasant smell. It smelled just like Edward - but in a less concentrated form. I imagined how it would be to nestle my face in his pillow and breathe him in.

He gestured to the door at the side of the room.

"I actually do have my own bathroom if you need to use it."

"Oh my gosh. I totally forgot - yes I would like to use your bathroom - if that's ok?"

He nodded. I entered his bathroom - curious to know more about Edward. It was also sparkling clean, and masculine. I used the bathroom quickly - washing and drying my hands. I glanced at the shower, and felt butterflies in my stomach, as I imagined him naked under the running water.

I couldn't understand my reaction to him. Yes he was incredibly gorgeous, but he was also nice and we seemed to click in some way. Once I'd gotten over my nervousness, the conversation flowed and we seemed to have a lot in common. He was very intelligent - and the whole piano playing thing was quite appealing. All of these things were understandable. I was obviously interested in Edward on more than one level. What I could not understand was the insane hormonal lusting that began as soon as I had laid eyes on him. I had never had such a compulsion to touch a guy before, to kiss him, to want him so badly. I was not the one night stand type - that was a certainty - but in the back of my mind - I think I would have considered it to be with Edward - if such a thing were a possibility.

Edward was sitting on his bed when I got out of the bathroom. He had turned on his stereo. He gestured for me to come and sit next to him. I kicked my shoes off at the side of his bed and hopped up - sitting across from him with my feet tucked under me. I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I was a bit unnerved at how comfortable it was to be with someone I had just met a few minutes earlier.

"I don't want to keep you from your party. Everyone will probably be leaving soon."

"I'll head back down in a minute." Not that I really wanted to.

"What are you studying at school?"

"Right now it's just core stuff - but I'll probably wind up pre-med. I really admire what my dad does. That's been my plan for a while. Especially since I love playing doctor." He added with a wink. I felt my cheeks burning again.

"Are you going to keep playing baseball?"

"I'm not sure - I think I could make the team - but it was different here - the whole - big fish/little pond thing. There are a lot of athletes at the college, and they are real athletes. I mean they eat and breathe their sport. I'm way too committed to my academics to be that invested in a game. And that's just it - it's a game to me - not my life."

I nodded knowingly, "My cousin Emmett plays football on the college team. I know what you mean to an extent. He is the athlete type - he really does live for it. I actually think he owns a shirt that reads 'I play football - therefore I am' - which really sums him up."

There was a comfortable silence then that was interrupted by the ringing of a phone. He grabbed his phone off of the little table near his bed and glanced at it.

"Sorry - I have to take this - it's my girlfriend Rosalie. Will you be around later?" I had pretty much zoned out after the word girlfriend. It figured. She was probably the blonde in the photo. I got off the bed and quickly bent down to grab my shoes. I was headed for the door when he asked again "Will you be around later?"

I nodded and left his room - shutting the door behind me. I heard him answer his phone as I headed back to "my" party.

I don't know what I had expected. I doubt Alice really wanted me to be crushing on her brother. So what if he was flirting a little - that's what people do - it didn't really mean anything. How could a guy that good looking - and seemingly decent - not have a girlfriend. Besides - I still had Jacob - the guy I thought I was in love with - and he was quite a catch. I needed to go back to the party and clear my head.

When I got back down to the party the atmosphere had changed a bit. Some people had left, so there was a bit more space. The lights had been turned down, and many corners were occupied with couples who were obviously not ashamed of public displays of affection. More people were dancing, and the music was much slower and sexier. I didn't see Alice - though I was anxious to "thank" her for her bad directions.

I was distracted by a hand on my arm. It was Tyler - a senior boy I'd seen around. He was nice enough. Athletic, blonde, …generic.

"Will you dance with me, Bella? I've been looking all over for you."

"Sure Tyler." I could use a distraction.

He grabbed my hand and led me over to where others were dancing. This wasn't an innocent dance like I shared with Mike. I was way too amped up from my little meeting upstairs. I felt bad - because I was probably really giving Tyler the wrong idea - but at the moment I didn't care. His hands were on my hips and my back was pressed against him. I moved my body up and down - rubbing myself against him. It was quite easy to tell he was enjoying himself. I arched my right arm back to his head and pulled his face down closer to me. I could hear his breath near my ear, hitching when I pushed myself harder against him. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Edward behind me, amazed at the feelings he had been able to invoke in my body just by his simple existence. When the music ended I turned and kissed Tyler on the cheek.

"Thanks for the dance" I whispered. He just stood there for a moment - a bit too dazed to do anything more. That was a mistake I'd end up regretting.

I stepped outside to get something to drink. I ran into Alice on my way back inside, and was relieved that she was going to be sending everyone packing. I said some goodbyes and ran to grab my stuff from my car. I ran into Tyler on the porch. He looked way too hopeful.

"Can I take you out sometime?"

"Maybe, I kind of have this long distance thing going on with my old boyfriend- but maybe we could do dinner or a movie sometime." I tried to be non-committal, poor Tyler just looked confused.

"Okay," He replied happily enough. He hugged me then, and as I sensed he was leaning in for a kiss - I turned my head a bit and he grazed my cheek. He seemed satisfied by this. "Thanks for the dance Bella - it was hot." Oh no, What had I done?


	3. The Wrong Idea

**__**

Disclaimer: All Twilight stories and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 3 The Wrong Idea

When things were cleaned up a bit, Alice and I headed up to her room. I was exhausted. It was pretty late but Alice was still a bundle of energy. It was amazing. Alice's room was down the hall from the room that I now knew belonged to Edward. Her room was lovely, girly but sophisticated. She had told me that she was planning on becoming a fashion designer - and from the look of her room she could walk the walk - as well. Half of her room was dominated with beautiful boards, covered in colored sketches of incredible outfits. There was also a work table, sewing machine and a seamstress's dummy with the rough working of a blouse pinned to it. Various items related to her work were strewn about in this area - markers, pencils, scissors, needles … It was controlled chaos - and it screamed "Alice". Next to her bed, there were several photos of her very striking boyfriend Jasper. He was tall and blood, and had an incredibly gorgeous face. It struck me for a moment as unfair - Alice and Edward were amazing looking - and their boyfriend and girlfriend could easily pass for models. That was the way things went I suppose - beauty attracting more beauty.

I thought about Jacob then. I had showed his picture to Alice at school one day, and she had been quite impressed. He was good looking - but in a different sort of way. He was tall, but on the thinner side. He was only a few months younger than me, but he looked a lot younger. Boyish was a good description. He had beautiful, smooth skin that was an incredible russet color thanks to his Native American heritage, he also had glossy black hair that he wore slightly long - often pulled back in a rubber band. Thinking about Jacob always made me feel warm - as if I had been standing in the bright sunshine. Despite the happy warmth, I frowned. I realized that as I had been going over Jacob's attributes in my mind - I had also been mentally comparing him to Edward. I sighed as it quickly occurred to me that the warm sunny feelings Jacob made me feel were rapidly diminished as I thought of Edward's sexy green eyes. The warm sunny feeling extinguished then, replaced by molten desire low in my stomach - desire for Edward.

I was pulled out of my daydreaming by Alice's silver, bell like laughter.

"Earth to Bella? Do you want to go shopping tomorrow or not? I asked you three times already."

"I'm sorry, I spaced. Yes, shopping tomorrow will be lots of fun! I need to grab some warmer clothes. It feels like everything I used to where is too thin here. I'm always freezing!" I smiled to let her know that I was now paying attention. Shopping could be fun - I hadn't had the opportunity to go since we had moved here. My mother and I were known to bond over a good trip to the mall - much to my father's dismay. I wasn't a crazy shopper - I didn't go for recreation - but I did enjoy shopping , especially when I was in desperate need of clothes as I was at the moment.

"So Alice - I haven't had a chance to ask yet - but I was wondering exactly why you gave me such bad directions to the bathroom?"

She froze for a moment and then smirked slightly, looking quite proud of herself.

"Oh, yeah - sorry about that. Edward told me he had the chance to meet you earlier. I hope you aren't mad - he was being an ass earlier and I felt the need to get him back for being a jerk. It wasn't nice to have you in the middle - I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not mad - he was pretty good about me barging in - actually. He had picked up on the fact that you were annoyed with him I think."

"I've been talking about you for the past two weeks - you are the best girl friend I have ever had, Bella - and I wanted him to meet you, as he is my other very best friend. A lot of times, girls want to be friends with me just because they think that that will somehow get them to Edward. It's stupid really - but you kind of have a boyfriend - and we were actually friends without you even knowing about Edward - so it's like a whole different thing for me. I know you aren't just being nice to me to get to him."

"Did girls seriously do that?" I was amazed at how shallow people could really be.

"Oh yes. You know Jessica at school?" I nodded to show I remembered the short girl with the brown curly hair. "She was the worst, we were barely friends last year and she started begging to be invited over. I finally gave in - and she spent the whole time she was here following Edward around - driving him totally crazy. She had the nerve to act like she didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but when I told her that she didn't have a chance with my brother - she completely stopped talking to me! It's happened to Edward once or twice, guys wanting him to be friends just so they can get introduced to me - but guys are less devious I think. They'd rather just ask you out then go through the circuitous lengths that some girls will."

I laughed at her little rant. It must be interesting to have such a close sibling. I felt like I didn't understand their relationship completely. Being an only child is fine with me, and my cousin Emmett is just like a brother to me - but we didn't grow up together everyday, have mutual secrets from our parents, we were close - but the relationship Alice and Edward seemed to share made me a bit envious.

"Anyhow - he's having this thing with his girlfriend. They are on the verge of breaking up, but neither of them wants to be the one to do it. So he came running home to avoid her - and then was all moody when I wanted to talk to him. I must say, he seemed in a better mood after meeting you. What did you think of my darling brother?"

I pondered for a moment. Was this a loaded question? She was obviously quite protective of her brother - and seemed to make it clear that I was her friend, and that a major selling point for that friendship was that I had a bit of a relationship and not looking to go after him. But why did she send me up to his room? Why did she tell me he'd be breaking up with his girlfriend? Why did she mention that he was in a better mood after meeting me?

I decided to tread lightly. I didn't want to hurt Alice in any way. She was truly the best friend I had ever had. On the other hand, I have never been as attracted to a guy as I was to Edward, and selfishly, the news that he was having trouble with his girlfriend made me quite happy.

"He seems very sweet. I'm not surprised that you two are so close. It must be nice to have a brother that is also such a good friend."

Alice studied me for a moment and then smiled, seemingly satisfied with my reply.

We tossed our pajamas on and laughed at the sight of each other. We had chosen very similar outfits - tanks and shorts.

"Let's go down and grab something to eat quick, I'm starving!"

I agreed and we ran down to the kitchen, gossiping about things that had occurred at the party.

"Speaking of the party, that was an interesting dance you shared with Tyler. Anything I should know?" She raised an eyebrow accusingly.

"Ugh! I don't know what I was thinking. ('yes you do' I told myself. 'you were thinking you wished you were grinding against her brother') If I could rewind - I would not have done that. I totally gave him the wrong idea."

Alice laughed louder now. "You think so Bella?"

I stood at the counter in the kitchen, scarfing a bowl of cereal. I hadn't had dinner and had only had a soda or two at the party. Alice had run to say goodnight to her parents and I was left alone to finish my food. I was making a mental list of the items I wanted to buy at the mall tomorrow, when I was startled by a warm hand gently brushing against my lower back. I jumped and nearly toppled my half empty bowl.

A pair of strong arms shot out and wrapped around me, helping me regain my balance. Edward's body was so close, he was so warm and smelled so good. I think I forgot how to breathe. When he was sure I wasn't going to fall over, he released me. My heart skipped when he reached out and placed a hand on my arm and left it there.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you." His voice was deep and quiet. Irresistible. I was reminded of the story of the Pied Piper, I believe I would follow anywhere - just to hear his voice.

He was smiling down at me, his earlier clothes replaced with a tight fitting tank top and a pair of comfy flannel pajama bottoms. His hair was wet and fell into his eyes. It looked much darker when it was wet.

I realized he was waiting for a reply.

"Yes. I'm fine - you just surprised me."

"Hmm, cereal at 3:00am. Yum!"

"Don't knock it - it is yummy. And just so you know - you look like you just got out of the shower - and I think a 3:00am shower is a bit stranger than a 3:00am bowl of cereal."

He gave me a strange little smirk then. I was acutely aware of how warm his hand was on my arm, and how good it felt to have his thumb tracing lines over my bare skin.

"Let's just say that my shower was a necessity. I like your pajamas, by the way."

I heard Alice's footsteps nearing. Edward took his hand away from my arm and leaned back against the counter. I busied myself by cleaning out my bowl, wondering why I felt worried about getting caught - when I really wasn't doing anything.

"Nice to see you two getting along." She chirped. Again I couldn't understand where her energy stemmed from.

"So, Edward, we are going shopping tomorrow, or later today, I guess - would you like to join us?"

I must have looked skeptical. What guy wants to go shopping? Alice laughed at my expression.

"He is my secret weapon Bella. I've been dragging Edward shopping with me for years, he gives expert guy opinion on what I choose - and he doesn't spare my feelings." She turned to Edward, "Well?"

"Sure - but I get to drive."

Suddenly, my day was looking up. Great - how would I get to sleep now - when I knew I would get to spend hours with him later. Perhaps, if I was lucky, I'd have sweet dreams about a bronze haired boy that smelled like heaven.

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Authors Note: Next Chapter will be Edward's point of view. Review if you would like. It is always appreciated.


	4. What Dreams May Come?

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AN: Thanks for the nice reviews! Fair warning - this is a rated M story - it is going to be a bit "lemony" in spots - like this chapter . Hope you enjoy.

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Disclaimer: Twilight and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 4 - What dreams may come?

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(Edward's Point of View)

This was a good dream.

I was in my black boxers and nothing else. I had a feeling they wouldn't be lasting long either. Rosalie was lying under me on my bed - her long legs wrapped around me, my hand sliding up her bare hip. I'd know those legs anywhere. As my hands roamed higher, covering familiar territory - I was rewarded with a soft moan for my efforts. My head snapped up suddenly - because that wasn't Rosalie's voice - it was Bella's. I looked up to see her sexy body splayed before me in all its glory. She was looking at me with desire burning in her big brown eyes. Her thick brown hair fanned out behind her head - my fingers ached to tangle in it. She reached up and pulled me closer to her - her full luscious lips inviting me to kiss them. I ravaged her mouth and neck with my lips and tongue - feeling her press herself against me. She began sliding my boxers down my legs and I swiftly kicked my feet out as they descended past my knees - sending them sailing to the floor. At last - free of pesky clothing. Just as I was about to lean into her, I felt her warm hand close around me. I stopped moving and looked at her face. She smiled and said, "I want you Edward. Wouldn't you like to know how my beautiful lips look sliding up and down you? How it feels in my mouth, to feel me licking and sucking until you pop like warm champagne?" Her hand was moving up and down my length, expertly. I was going to -

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SLAM!

I sat up. Disoriented. It was dark. There had been a crash.

I could hear Bella and Alice in the hall. It must have been Alice's door slamming.

CRAP! That was the hottest dream I have ever had, and it was really getting good. I can't believe they had to slam the door at that exact moment. I looked down into my lap - my boxers jutted forward at an odd angle - further evidence of how much I'd been enjoying the dream. I sat for a moment, trying to regain a little control. I contemplated trying to fall back asleep, get back into my dream - but that never works. It had seemed so real - felt so real. Again, I cursed the slamming door.

I glanced at the clock. It was just after 2:00am.

I thought about Rosalie. I was feeling a bit guilty about the dream I'd been having. It's not as if I had never dreamed about any other girl - but I had never dreamed about another girl that I thought I might actually like. I would never cheat on Rose, no matter how bad things were between us. I'd never do that. Rose and I had been dating for a year and a half. We both knew it was over - but neither of us wanted to be the one to say so. We didn't fight - we just acted like things were okay - but really - we'd just become different people who wanted different things. Rosalie was beautiful - and not just beautiful - but every guy's wildest fantasy beautiful. I believe there is a line from a movie that goes something like this - "Show me a beautiful woman - and I'll show you a guy who's tired of shagging her." That sounds horribly shallow - and though I am not exactly tired of it - it's definitely more like a chore lately. Rosalie's sexual appetites - I'm embarrassed to say - far outstrip my own. For me to admit this, as a nineteen year old male, is not easy. Yes, I want sex, almost all the time - but Rosalie - lately especially - is all about the quantity. I'd love to spend the whole night worshiping a woman's body - kissing, caressing - finding all the ways I can make her squirm. Rose wants instant gratification - again and again. It's not just the sex - it's a lot of things. I'm a romantic - I want to open doors and plan elaborate dates - I want to read poetry and compose beautiful pieces on my piano that reflect my feelings for that special person….Rose opens her own doors.

I love Rose, and I even think we could wind up friends in the end - but this … this isn't working anymore - and we both know it.

Meeting Bella today had been surprising. She was obviously sweet, she looked like she felt so bad when she had entered my room by accident. She's also smart and very easy to talk to. I was surprised by how much I flirted with her, I'm usually not that kind of guy - but something about us together was so easy. It felt like I was catching up with a long lost friend. She wasn't like most girls I have met. I loved when she hopped up on my bed to talk. It was as if - she wasn't "trying" - she was just being Bella - and it was amazingly attractive. Of course, she was also remarkably beautiful. Her hair was so thick and shiny - I'd forgotten how much I like brunettes - prefer them really (in spite of my own blonde-bombshell girlfriend). She had a very hot body as well, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to touch her. When Rose called she jumped off the bed and grabbed her shoes - she had bent over to pick them up and I stopped breathing. I was totally staring - her butt was totally propped in front of me. I consider myself an ass man - and hers was perfect.

I'd actually braved the party downstairs when I was off the phone. I had scanned the room for her, and when I saw her in the corner dancing with Tyler - a wave of jealousy hit me. She was so damn sexy - I would have given anything to be the one holding her. A quick glance around told me I wasn't the only one thinking that either.

The thought of Bella dancing did nothing for the little problem in my pants. It was now 2:30 - Time for a cold shower.

After the shock of some icy water my body finally submitted to defeat. I threw on some pajamas and headed out my door. Alice's door was closed - but I could still see light from downstairs and I hadn't heard them come back up. I headed down and was stopped in my tracks when I saw Bella alone in the kitchen.

She was wearing little shorts that totally showed off her assets. She wasn't wearing socks and her toenails were painted bright red. She had on a little pink tank top that clearly showed the outline of her breasts.

Ugh! Was she trying to kill me?

My reaction to her was overwhelming and shocking. I'd never even been driven this crazy by Rosalie. She leaned over to eat a spoonful of her cereal and the back of her shirt pulled up - exposing a pale sliver of flesh on her lower back. I had to feel her skin - I couldn't stop myself. I walked up behind her and gently caressed the exposed skin with my finger tips. Her skin was so warm and smooth. What I didn't expect was the way she jumped up and nearly fell over. I instinctively shot my arms out to grab her. I had them wrapped around her for a moment before I even realized that I was holding this siren that I'd just been dreaming about. She felt so right in my arms, she fit perfectly - as if she'd been made to be there. I was quite sure I had to let her go - but it took a lot of will power to loosen my arms. I took an extra moment - under the pretense of being sure she was balanced - really I just couldn't let her go yet. I kept my hand on her arm - all that exposed skin was calling to me - and after feeling her warm softness, I needed to remain connected to her somehow.

It was at that moment that I learned that cold showers really aren't much of a match for raging male hormones. I was glad that I'd chosen to throw on some "tighty-whities" instead of boxers - they helped make it a little less obvious.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you."

She seemed like she was still startled. She also seemed like she was glad I had kept my hand on her arm. I began absentmindedly stroking a line with my thumb on her flesh, my brain becoming fuzzy with the sensation.

"Yes. I'm fine - you just surprised me."

"Hmm, cereal at 3:00am. Yum!"

"Don't knock it - it is yummy. And just so you know - you look like you just got out of the shower - and I think a 3:00am shower is a bit stranger than a 3:00am bowl of cereal."

Playful banter. How do I reply to that comment? Do I let it slide and say nothing? How about the truth Edward? 'Well Bella - I just had the naughtiest dream about you, you were completely naked and aching for me. You described in detail the incredible blow job you could give me and then nearly finished me off with your hand before I was rudely awoken by a slamming door. A cold shower was my only option, hence the wet hair.'

Nope. I don't think do. She might leave the house running and screaming if you show her what a monster you really are.

"Let's just say that my shower was a necessity. I like your pajamas, by the way."

Alice came in then and I reluctantly let her arm go. We both seemed to have the same reaction - a quick separation, making things look innocent. It was strange that we did though - because nothing was going on - was it?

I agreed to accompany Alice and Bella shopping later today. I was looking forward to spending some more time with Bella , probably a little too much. I headed back up to my room, in the hopes of getting a little sleep. Maybe I would play for a little while - that was always a relaxing activity, and I was feeling strangely inspired at the moment.

As I closed my door behind me I realized I had no idea if Bella had a boyfriend. That was smooth. I had just gotten all excited, and I hadn't even thought about the possibility that there might be someone else. And why wouldn't there be someone else? She was obviously amazing. I would have to find out tomorrow. I also realized that Bella knew I did have a girlfriend. I had made no mention to her that we were basically over. I tried to view my behavior tonight in that light. What if Bella thought I was some sort of cad? What if she thought I was flirting with her simply as a distraction while my girlfriend wasn't around? What if there was some slim chance that I could wind up with Bella - I would never want her to question my behavior.

I decided then that I would need to behave myself. Rosalie deserved my best while we were still together - and Bella did as well. No more touching, no more suggestive comments. She needed to know that I didn't just throw my attention around at every pretty girl. I could feel it already - this feeling that Bella was important - special - that her essence was a piece that would help make me whole. I would do this right, I would be worthy of her.

I would talk to Rose tomorrow. It was definitely over.

Perhaps, until then, I would still dream of Bella. Perhaps there, in my sleep, the true release of my soul's desire would be possible.

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Review if you would like. I'd greatly appreciate it!


	5. Brothers, Sisters, and Friends?

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Disclaimer: Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended.

Chapter 5 Brothers, Sisters, and - Friends?

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(Edward's point of view)

I awoke to my freakishly perky sister yanking the blankets off of my bed. When I was coherent enough to open my eyes and focus, I could see the light streaming through my window and knew the day was well under way. A peak at the clock confirmed my suspicions - it was 12:00 already. Alice was demanding that we leave in ten minutes - and I was glad I had showered in the wee hours of the morning.

I had worked on my keyboard for a few hours after heading back up to my room some time after 3:00am. I had made pretty good headway on a new piece - and I was really pleased with how it was coming together - before I knew it, it was already 6:00. I called Rosalie - not expecting her to answer - but hoping. Of course I was only able to leave a message - and I knew we couldn't settle this over the phone anyway. I felt a sort of relief having made the decision though. By this time next week, perhaps there would be nothing standing in my way, and Bella and I could start to get to know each other better.

I shook my head as I pondered these thoughts - there I go - assuming again. I was acting as if the two of us being together was inevitable. It seemed so completely right, for some unexplainable reason. Yet, I wasn't that cocky, jerk kind of guy that just assumes he can have any girl. I couldn't understand why I felt so sure that she would want to be with me - it was a mystery I greatly desired to figure out.

One thing was sure - the sleep had done me some good. I felt like I had finally overcome that testosterone induced haze I had been operating under last night. My mind felt clearer - like I could actually reason with my brain, not just that other part of my anatomy.

I threw on my jeans and a shirt and ran down to have a quick glass of juice before we left. Alice is relentless when she has plans. I was no match for the little runt - that was for sure. I'd learned long ago just to do what she wanted - it made my life easier.

It felt good to see Bella again. I was struck again by the familiarity we seemed to share. The three of us laughed and joked a bit while I threw back some juice and the girls shared a muffin. I hadn't been the only late riser - Alice just masked it well with her innate chipperness. When Bella ran upstairs to call her mom quick - Alice pounced.

"So, what do you think about Bella?"

"She's nice, I can see why she's rapidly becoming your best friend."

"Nice? And she's not 'becoming' my best friend - she is. Nice?"

"Why are you questioning my choice of adjectives?"

"Where to begin? Let's see - I sent her to your room, half believing it would piss you off - but mostly feeling like you deserved it - and instead of being mad about it the two of you holed up there and chatted for over an hour." Had it really been that long? "Then when I asked you about it - you actually smiled - and with all the drama with Rosalie lately, that is a miracle unto itself. Then there is the little fact of what I witnessed in the kitchen last might."

I gave her a questioning look. I hadn't even been touching Bella when Alice came back into the room. What had she witnessed exactly?

"Do I really have to spell it out for you Edward? You are usually an impeccable gentleman - it's one of your few endearing traits by the way -" I stuck my tongue out at her then, teasingly - she rolled her eyes and continued. "Well, last night you were staring at her like she was something to eat. It was kind of cute actually - in an obsessive stalkerish sort of way." Now she stuck her tongue out at me - daring me to deny her accusation.

Time to shift gears. I am not sure how much I am ready to admit to Alice.

"I'm breaking up with Rosalie. Tomorrow or Monday - whenever we can actually get together to work it out. I have to see her - I can't do it over the phone."

"What made you decide, finally? Does this have anything to do with Bella?"

"You know it's been a long time coming. I just came to a realization yesterday - and I don't see the point of dragging it out any longer."

"You didn't answer my question about Bella."

No kidding - that was why I had tried to change the subject before!

"What if it did Alice - what if Bella was part of my decision? I didn't think you'd be too thrilled about me being interested in your new best friend."

"I don't know how I would feel about it. Rose was just - Rose. I mean - she was always civil - and I know she treated you okay and all, but I certainly wouldn't say we were friends. You and Jasper on the other hand get along great. It might be nice to have that kind of friendship with one of your girlfriends."

Was this meant to be an encouragement? I wasn't so sure.

"But Edward, she has a boyfriend - or I guess 'had' a boyfriend. She is planning on going back when she graduates and going to college with him - meeting up again. Did she mention him to you?"

I suddenly felt like a ship, in the middle of the ocean, that suddenly lost every ounce of wind in its sails. Of course she had someone waiting for her. I'd have waited for her. Maybe it was good that she hadn't mentioned him - maybe there was a shred of a chance. Yeah, and maybe I can delude myself into thinking that she'll dump some great guy for me. Sure, shoot for the stars there, buddy.

I shrugged and shook my head - hoping to convey to Alice that I hadn't known about her boyfriend - former or otherwise.

"It's still over with Rosalie. I can't do it anymore - and I know she feels the same. I can't imagine Bella would want some crazy rebound thing with me anyway."

"Edward - here's the thing - you're not like most guys that I know or have met. I'm not just saying this because you're my brother, either. You really are decent and genuine. You've never been the kind to date around or use girls. Even when they practically throw themselves at you - you're still a gentleman. It's not like you couldn't have gone out with a bunch of girls before Rosalie - you're really too cute for your own good. It's just - you aren't that kind of guy - and I think Bella sees that too. Even though she just met you. I definitely think she thought you were 'nice' as well. She didn't really say anything - but I could see it on her face. I just think you need to give things some time. I know you, Edward - you have such a big heart, and breaking up with Rose might be harder on you then you think. If there is something there for you and Bella - you just have to trust that it will work out eventually."

I got up and hugged my sister quickly.

"For a runty little sister - you manage to be a pretty good friend."

She smiled at me then. "Okay brother dear - thanks for the moment - but now we have some shopping to do!"

We headed out to the car. I realized that I might not have the chance I'd thought, or hoped with Bella - but at the very least I could try to show her the kind of guy I was, the kind of man I could be for her. Maybe, just maybe - I could tip the scales in my favor. As we reached the car I circled to the passenger side and held the door open for Bella, and was extremely glad to be rewarded by a faint blush on her beautiful cheeks. She seemed pleased by the gesture - I could easily get used to this.


	6. Everyday Underwear and Hot Chocolate

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Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creative genius behind the Twilight series and characters.

Chapter 6 Everyday underwear and Hot Chocolate

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(Bella)

I was struck again this morning with how gorgeous Edward was. I felt like every time I was in the same room as him I wound up staring. Sleeping had been a help - even if most of the dreams flying through my head featured a beautiful bronze haired boy with warm hands and sexy green eyes. I felt like I had time to process the events of last night, and I was very aware of the fact that I wanted to know exactly how "over" things were for Edward and his girlfriend. Not that I compared in any way to the goddess in his photos - but a girl can dream.

I was having such a great visit with Alice and her brother. I'd missed having real friends. Moving often has prevented me from making close friends - and I was so glad for Alice and all her pushy sweetness. She was a true kindred spirit. Edward was a sweetheart also. It felt like we were really becoming friends today as well - and it was nice. If I was never able to have anything else with him, I'd at least get to count him as a friend.

As we had left to go shopping, he had opened my door for me. It was so chivalrous - and I loved it. He was showing me what a gentleman he was, and I must admit I am quite a sucker for that sort of thing. I love to be treated like a girl, not like I am helpless or incapable - but rather, to be treated like I am precious and worthy of a guys effort. As we headed from store to store, Edward gathered all our bags and carried them for us. Alice had been right about his opinion. He had fairly good taste, and gave good reasons when he didn't think something looked right. I felt like we were putting on a fashion show. He'd sit outside the dressing room - we'd come out and twirl for him - he'd then let us know his thoughts on our choices. I'd noticed more than once that his eyes lingered on me for a moment or two longer than necessary. I couldn't complain.

As we were passing Victoria's Secret, Alice insisted we go in. She said she had to grab a few bras and wouldn't take no for an answer. I felt a little awkward shopping for underwear with Edward. I decided I would just wander around the store, instead of having to actually buy something - it seemed a little too intimate to have him know what I had on under my clothes. Of course - once inside, I noticed they were having a sale and decided I would actually pick up some new "everyday undies". It couldn't be too awkward to buy some cotton panties in front of him. At that moment, Alice let me know she'd be trying some stuff on and Edward and I were on our own. The current between us changed immediately - intensifying and turning into something much stronger than it had been moments before. I walked a bit away - praying the distance would help my sanity.

As I selected some items - I continually peeked up to see where Edward was. More then once, he met my gaze with his piercing eyes - seeming all too interested in exactly what I was picking out. When I looked up again, I noticed a pretty girl who worked in the store approaching Edward. I watched their encounter, feeling jealous immediately as this girl captured his attention. I was surprised when I noticed him gesturing in my direction, smiling. She nodded after that and walked away. He walked over to me then. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through his hair, and as he smiled a lop-sided grin - I wondered again how it would feel to kiss his perfect lips. He surprised me by holding a hand out to hold me selections for me. He raised an eyebrow as I reluctantly dropped five cute pairs of cotton panties into his hands.

"Hmm - I'm not surprised that you would pick these out. You seem like that kind of girl."

How did I come to be in this store, with this guy, discussing my underwear?! He was staring at me intently now, as if awaiting some sort of reply. It took a moment to find my voice.

"I seem like what kind of girl, exactly?"

"Let's see? The kind of girl that would look sexy in anything - but prefers to be comfortable and sexy at the same time. I don't know - I can just picture you in these."

Breathe Bella.

"So you can picture me in these panties?" I tried to play it off - act like this conversation wasn't effecting me.

Of course it didn't work. He leaned in close then - close enough that I was surrounded by his yummy smell, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, he whispered, "Bella, do you think it would be humanly possible for me _not_ to picture you in _these_." He gestured casually to the dark blue bikini perched precariously on the end of his finger.

I was totally falling for Edward Cullen.

I snatched the panties back from him and paid at the counter. He had come to stand behind me and gathered my bag when I'd paid. We decided to wait on the bench outside the store for Alice. I remembered his strange encounter with the salesgirl and asked him about it. He chuckled softly.

"She wanted to know if I needed help - and she was being a little overly friendly - so I sort of gestured to you and told her I was shopping with my girlfriend. Sorry - it worked though - she left me alone then."

His girlfriend. I liked the sound of that way too much.

When Alice finally emerged with her few bras - which of course, in reality - amounted to two shopping bags worth of stuff - she announced that our next stop was the shoe store. I decided to take a break from shopping for a bit - or at least from shoe shopping. For some reason - I just don't have that need that some girls do to have a hundred pairs of great shoes. I certainly had my fair share - but I didn't feel like spending the next hour cramming my feet into all the cute shoes Alice would inevitably decide to fling at me. Edward offered to take a walk with me, and Alice relented, a curious look of satisfaction on her face.

We walked for a bit, conversation easy. I imagined what it would be like to really be his girlfriend. I pictured us walking along, talking just the same, yet holding hands, while Edward whispered things for my ears only - in that melting voice. I recalled how he had told the girl in the store he was with his girlfriend - even though I knew it meant nothing - hearing him say those words - set butterflies loose in my stomach.

"I'm so glad I met Alice. She's the best friend I've ever had. With us moving so often - it was always hard to make friends. Coming here seemed like it was going to be horrible, especially with just a few months to go in my last year of high school. It has actually wound up being the opposite of what I expected."

"Alice is popular - but she really doesn't have too many really good friends. She's pretty careful about the people she lets into her life - I mean really lets in. She obviously thinks a lot of you."

I was glad that he thought so. It felt important that he approved of me.

"Where are you going to go to school next year?" He had asked an easy question - but suddenly there wasn't an easy answer. I had already had it all planned out - I would go back and go to school with Jacob. But what if I had a reason to stay?

"I'm not positive yet. I'll probably be going back, that was my original plan. I have some friends there who are hoping to catch back up."

He seemed more hopeful suddenly. I wasn't sure why.

"What will you study?"

"I plan on becoming a high school English teacher, actually. I really want to write - but I'm not deluded enough to think that that will pay the bills - so I'm hoping if I teach - I can share my love of books and language and still be able to eat. Then I will still have the summers to write."

We walked a while longer. I asked several times if we should go back for Alice but he assured me she would still be trying shoes on. I was enjoying having Edward to myself - and I could tell that he was feeling the same way. We stopped for something to drink and he was surprised when I ordered hot chocolate.

"Chocolate is one of my weaknesses. If you wanted me to be truly happy - all it would take would be a mug of hot chocolate and a good book to read. I'd be perfectly content."

He laughed at that.

"I'd probably need my piano and a roaring fire. That would do it for me."

He leaned in again and wiped a trace of foam from the top of my lip with his finger. I shivered in delight at his touch. I looked at him for a moment then - really looked. His shoulders were broad - his arms very well defined. He looked strong. His face was very chiseled - not even a hint of boyhood around his cheeks or chin. He looked mature - and he carried himself in a way that made him seem older than he was. He had an effortless beauty and grace. I imagined that he probably looked perfect even when he just crawled out of bed. I remembered how sexy he had looked last night with his hair damp and falling into his eyes. Our eyes met then - and I had the strangest feeling - as if I had found a home - as if a part of me had found something it was looking for - but I didn't even know what it was.

"How are things with your girlfriend?" I blurted out. I had to know, now.

"Well, we are sort of at the tail end of things I think. Did Alice mention that?"

"She said things were a little rough at the moment."

"We've been together for a while - but living here - it was different. It's so small here - there wasn't really anything to be distracted by. Now - when we're at school - we are meeting different people - doing different things. We'll actually go for days without even talking. We're both a bit different then we were a year ago. It's been drifting towards the end for a few weeks - we've just had a hard time actually saying the words." His words came out quickly, I had to concentrate to keep up. It seemed like a relief to him to tell me.

"I'm sorry. That must be hard."

He looked at me for a moment before answering.

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard at all. I certainly care enough for her still to know I wouldn't want to hurt her." He was being honest.

His words told me a lot - more then he had actually even said.

I didn't bring up Jacob. I wasn't even sure there was a reason to. Yes we still talked - but when I left - we were essentially finished. I made no promises to him. We knew it couldn't work with so much distance between us. Yet, I did still feel, in the back of my mind - that I would owe them both an explanation. As if my actions would effect them both.

We eventually made our way back to Alice. Sure enough - she was still trying on shoes. She finished up and we headed back to her house. Edward held my door for me again.

As we drove back to Alice's, the two of us planned what we would do for my birthday. I would be turning eighteen in two weeks - and though I didn't want a party - I did want to commemorate the day. After all you only turn eighteen once, right? Of course, with Alice involved - it was bound to be lots of fun.

When I climbed into my Jeep to head for home - I realized how much I was already enjoying living here. It was strange what a few friends and a little perspective could do for your outlook. I heard my phone when I was about halfway home. I had tossed my bag in the back and couldn't reach it. It was probably just Alice - I'm sure I left something at her house.

When I pulled into my driveway - I fished my phone out of my bag. I had a voicemail - from Edward.

"I'd really like to see you again, soon." He left is number and told me I was welcome to call him anytime. I sighed as I listened again. I was not erasing it. I imagined myself listening to his ridiculously amazing voice over and over again.

I walked into my house with a smile on my lips and my heart beating erratically.

Were we falling in love?


	7. Phone Call

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Disclaimer: Twilight -- story and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 7 Phone Call

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(Bella)

It had been a long week at school. I had to deal with the fall out from my very bad choice in terms of dancing. I still can't believe I had acted so impulsively. Tyler asked me when we could get together multiple times each day. Unfortunately, he had been joined by a few other guys with the same request - and I felt like I spent a good part of each day avoiding people and steering conversations away from anything resembling talk of dates. It wasn't as if any of the guys were repulsive or horrible, of course they weren't Edward - which was enough right there - but it was more than that. I didn't like all the attention and I really wasn't very interested in going out on any dates. There were too many other factors (or I should say two other factors - Edward and Jacob).

I had been tempted on more than one occasion to talk to Alice about Edward. If I knew that she would be ok with the possibility of us dating - I would have felt a great amount of relief. Somehow - we were never able to have the conversation, and when I had finally started to broach the subject - I quickly asked about something else - afraid she might actually say what I feared - that I wasn't good enough for her brother, and unworthy of her friendship. I was a coward.

I must have replayed Edward's message a hundred times. Sadly - I had taken to listening to it several times before I drifted off to sleep. I would close my eyes and just imagine him near, his sexy voice purring in my ear. Then I would drift off to sleep imagining the conversations I would have with him if I actually called the number I had memorized after the first time I had heard it. I was truly a coward. I had wanted to call him so badly - yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if I called and he was with her? What if I called and he told Alice - and she decided I was just like all the other girls that used her to try to get to Edward? What if he was just being nice when he left the message - and would rather not hear from me at all? I was too afraid to find out - so I didn't call.

I had spoken to Jacob three times. He had called me. Our conversations were changing greatly as the days passed by. Our first calls left me teary and longing to hold him. We talked about all the things we would do when we were back together and about how much we missed each other. Then it turned to more of a social thing - talking about things that occurred at school or mutual friends we'd shared. I realized that the shift was more on my part than his. He continued to express how much he missed me, how he was counting the days until we could see each other. I felt a twinge of annoyance - we had agreed that we wouldn't be together once I moved - but he still sounded so possessive - so sure that we'd pick things back up. Sometimes when I would mention Alice or my new friends here - he would sound jealous - as if he'd been counting on me being miserable until we were back together. I couldn't really fault him - he didn't know what was going on here - he didn't know how the world had shifted when I met Edward. I hadn't told him anything about Edward, I couldn't explain it to myself yet - how could I try to explain it to Jacob?

Our last conversation hadn't ended well.

"Are you okay Bella - you don't seem like yourself ?"

"I'm fine, Jacob - just a little tired. It's been a long week."

"I know what might cheer you up - remember when you first moved - when we'd had phone sex a few times?" He sounded all too eager - and I could just imagine where his hand was at the moment. I was not in the mood for this right now. Yeah Jake - the phone sex would be for me, not for you - sure.

"I'm kissing your neck, rubbing your shoulders - just the way you like. Remember when I used to kiss that soft part of your skin under your breasts - I know how much you like that. I wish you were here right now, I'd kiss up your pretty thighs, right up to the crease at the top - where you're so ticklish." His voice was low now, filled with desire.

I contemplated for a moment. What would it take to make him happy. Very little on my part - a few choice words - a well timed sigh or moan. Didn't he deserve that at least. In truth - as I thought of his sweet face lowering between my parted legs - as it had so many times - I did feel a twinge in my stomach. Perhaps he was right - maybe the release of some pent up tension would be good for me.

"Mmm. I always liked when you would pull off my panties with your teeth. If I were there with you right now - I'd be sliding your jeans down, kissing your stomach. I'd run my tongue over your sexy hip, that always makes you so hard. " See Bella - this wasn't so difficult.

"Yeah," he sighed - I could hear the way his breathing had picked up. "What are you wearing Bella?"

Sweats and a t-shirt.

"I have on those tight jeans that you love and that little black thong. I was wearing the lacy bra that matched - but I just took it off. I'm sliding my jeans off too." I actually pulled me sweats down quick to check what underwear I was actually wearing. They were my new favorite pair - the ones Edward had commented on in the store.

That was all it took - the thought of him in the store with me and the sexy implication of his words. I felt the crotch of my panties dampen. Maybe I would enjoy this after all. I slid my free hand down and gently began rubbing myself in a practiced rhythm.

"Are you naked now?"

"Just about, I just have my underwear on - do you want me to take them off?" Yes - this was really starting to feel good.

"Yes," he breathed - barely a whisper.

"I love when you slide your tongue into me Jake. Your mouth is always so warm. I wish we'd actually had sex, I can imagine how you would feel inside me, you're so big - I would have had to stretch so much to take you in. I bet you would have made me feel so good." We both moaned then - I could tell he was getting close now. I increased the friction and speed of my hand - I pictured myself laid out across Edward's bed, his solid body hovering over me, the anticipation palpable. I imagined being kissed by those perfect lips, feeling his tongue slide into my mouth. I moaned again.

"Jake," I whispered breathlessly. "I want you to imagine me on top of you, you're in me and I am so tight and hot and wet. Your hands are on my breasts and I am rocking against you and you are going to come so hard."

"Oh yeah Bella." He let out a low moan then and I knew he had achieved his release. I rubbed myself for another moment, suddenly exploding - my breath catching as I rode out the waves - Edward's face, complete with his crooked smile flashed through my mind.

"Thanks Bella - I needed that. Do you feel a little better?"

"Yeah - I guess." I was still a little breathless.

He laughed quietly - probably feeling quite proud of his accomplishment.

I needed to get off the phone. I suddenly felt dirty - horrible. I was such a jerk - I had just gotten myself off - while thinking about Edward. Jacob was oblivious. I was mean.

"I need to go now, Jacob. It was good to talk to you. I do miss you."

"I know Bella - I miss you too. More than you can imagine. Bye."

"Bye, Jake."

I had hung up the phone and jumped in the shower. I couldn't remember when I had ever been so selfish.

Saturday was rainy. I woke to the sound of the drops pelting my window, and wondered if I could possibly rationalize staying in bed all day. Alice had plans with Jasper for the weekend - so I had nothing much to do. I realized staying in bed was not the best plan, so I shlumped out of bed to have breakfast with my parents. They were heading out today and wouldn't be back until much later tonight. They had a date night once a month - which I loved. I hoped when I had been married as long as they were - I'd still be so much in love with my husband. They were great to watch - the way they still stole glances at each other, the way they treated each other with care - never taking the other for granted. It was amazing.

"Good morning, my beautiful daughter." My father always went overboard with me.

I yawned loudly and they laughed.

"Morning."

"I finished that book Bella - if you wanted to read it. It was okay - not fabulous - but a fun read. Do you have big plans for today?"

"You're looking at it." I gestured to my pajamas and cereal - flashing them a toothy grin. My mom rolled her eyes at me.

"We'll be back quite late tonight, honey. Be sure you lock everything up before you go to bed, okay?" My dad hated having me at home late by myself.

"I promise I'll be safe. I think I'm just going to bum around today. I have some homework to finish - and I'll probably start that book. The weather isn't too inviting for much else."

My dad gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head and ran out to pull the car up for my mom. My mom eyed my warily. I couldn't ever hide things from her. She was the one person who always read me so easily.

"Is everything ok honey? You look like you've got a lot on your mind."

"Would you be upset if I decided on a different school for next year. I know I told you I was pretty much settled and decided on going back. I might not be as sure as I thought."

She didn't speak for a moment.

"Is there anything particular that's changed your mind?"

I wasn't ready for that conversation. I wanted to tell my mom about Edward - I just needed time to find the right words. As close as I was to her - I didn't think that describing the physical attraction I felt for Alice's brother , bordering on lust, so strong it was threatening to drive me insane - would go over too well.

"I've got some friends now. Better friends then I have ever had. I also am not sure if I want to be that far from you and dad. It's different now with Jake - after being apart for awhile. I'm not sure really. It's a lot of things."

She nodded.

"You know that your father and I will support you - whatever you decide. Nothing is set in stone -and I am glad you're considering all the possibilities. Can we talk some more later? Maybe tomorrow we can share a pot of tea and you can spill all your secrets." She hugged me and ruffled my hair. I loved my mom.

"Okay - but I'm not sure I'm ready to spill all my secrets." She laughed.

"Have a good time with dad today." She raised her eyebrow and giggled like a little girl. They were too much.

After my breakfast I whipped through the last of my homework. It was already 12:30 and I was still in my pajamas. I decided that I was just going to lounge today in my comfy fleece pants and ratty white t-shirt- I felt like I deserved a day to stay in them - no one would be seeing me anyway.

I had found the book my mom had finished. It looked interesting enough. I heated some water and made myself a cup of tea. I settled into my favorite chair in the living room. The steady rain pounded out a rhythm against the house. I was quickly absorbed in my book. Before I knew it, I was halfway finished with the book and my tea was ice cold. I got up and stretched - stiff and sore from sitting in the same position for hours. I ran to the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I grabbed a sweatshirt as I peeked at the clock in my room. It was after 4:00. I was enjoying the solitude.

I got myself comfortable on the chair once again - ready to devour the rest of the book. I was like that - once I started a book I hated to put it down. I'd been reading for a while when I was startled by a knock at the front door. Who on earth could that be? I dropped my book and headed to the door.

I threw the door open, startled to see a soaking wet Edward shivering in the rain. He smiled and I was quite sure the sun had just broken through the clouds - he was dazzling.

He smiled that crooked smile that I loved. He gestured at the rain and asked "Can I come in?"

He was holding a shopping bag in his hand. I had foolishly been just standing there, staring.

"Of course, come in."

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I won't be updating for a few days -as I will be away (not that you care, I'm sure). Hope you are enjoying the story. Drop me a review if you'd like - they do make me oh so happy. Thanks to all of you who do.


	8. Almost Kisses and Ice Cream

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AN: Thanks to those of you who have been reading this story. I really love that you are reading and enjoying!

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Disclaimer: Twilight, characters and stories are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 8 Almost Kisses and Ice Cream

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(Edward)

It had been a long week. I had talked to Rosalie on Monday and we broke things off. She had been prepared -and we both really did know it was time. It was harder than I had thought it would be. Rose wasn't always one to show a lot of emotion, but at one point her face grimaced and her eyes had welled up a bit - and I truly thought she would cry. That had been the worst of it all. Alice was right - it was hard to feel like I was hurting her. Even knowing that this was the right time for both of us hadn't been enough to make it painless.

Of course, things got a bit more blurred when we'd wound up having some extremely good "break-up sex".

I don't know if there is even such a term - I mean I've heard of make-up sex - but it just seemed the right thing at the moment. She had leaned in for a hug goodbye - and one thing had lead to another. It seemed like we both needed it - another form of closure. After she had left - I realized how different things suddenly would become. I hadn't kissed another girl in nearly two years - and Rosalie and I had lost our virginity to each other. There was all sorts of uncharted territory out there now, that I was free to explore.

My roommate Jeff was thrilled at the idea of me being single. He was a bit hard on girls in my opinion. He went for the kill immediately - bedding a new girl every other night, or so it seemed. I was glad Jasper had an apartment nearby - and that his couch was generally open for me. I had needed to crash there on a number of occasions - thanks to Jeff's womanizing. Jeff seemed to think if we were both single - we would get that many more girls. I didn't really have the heart to tell him I wasn't much interested in a string of one night stands. He wouldn't understand at all. He hadn't understood why I had had a steady relationship with Rose either - but he claimed he would overlook it because she was so hot.

Between dealing with the break-up and school work - I welcomed the weekend. Until Jeff let me in on his plan to have us hit half a dozen parties Friday and Saturday. I was definitely not up for that this weekend. I decided to head for home - if nothing else, my mom would wash my laundry and I'd get some decent food.

Of course - I also hoped if I went home I might run into Bella. I realized that I wasn't exactly ready to jump head long into anything again. I needed a little time to sort out not having Rosalie in my life, being on my own, not having plans with someone at all times. It was going to be different - and I didn't want to give Bella the impression that I was ready to give her the world - if I wasn't. Of course - that's what I told myself. That's what I tried to make myself believe - so I wouldn't show up on her doorstep like a crazy man - declaring my love for her. She was like a drug. I had only had the smallest taste of her company - and yet I craved it. I craved the possibility of being close to her, talking to her, looking at her.

I had really hoped she would call me. I still didn't know what the situation was with her old boyfriend - and I had wanted to leave the ball in her court - let her call if she wanted to. I had checked my phone compulsively, hoping by some chanced she had called and I'd missed it. As the week passed, it was all I could do not to dial her number again. It seemed like she had similar feelings when we spent time together - the way she paid attention to what I said, blushed when I flirted, didn't shy away when I reached out to touch her - those things had happened - I didn't imagine them. Yet she hadn't called - and I didn't want to risk pushing her away. So I waited for my phone to ring - hoping I would hear her voice, that I could tell her about Rosalie, that she would give me some sign that I had the slightest chance. I was still waiting.

So I ventured home - hoping that Alice had invited Bella for some sort of sleep over or shopping excursion - and at the very least I could see her. I hadn't realized that Alice was spending the weekend up at Jasper's apartment. She had probably mentioned it, but I had been too involved in my own issues to remember. To make matters worse, my parents had plans all weekend as well - which meant no free laundry (unless I was willing to do it myself) and no good food. Suddenly, the prospect of a weekend of partying didn't seem as bleak.

Since I was already home - I decided to make the best of things. I spent Friday night working out the kinks in the piece I started last week. It was coming together incredibly fast, and was becoming my favorite of all the pieces I'd ever written. I really wanted to get someone else's opinion, my mom was generally a fantastic critic - doling out praise and criticism with an even hand - but there was something about this piece that felt too personal to share just yet. That had never happened before and it was a bit unsettling - especially because when I played it I only thought of one thing - Bella.

It was now Saturday evening - and I was driving over to Bella's. house. I had no idea if she was going to be home - or what I really planned to have happen when I got there. I just needed to see her. I had decided to stop at the grocery store first - I purchased a variety of different ice creams, chocolate sauce and whipped cream - I figured I could try to make my visit look like a friendly gesture. If it was obvious that she didn't want me there as anything other than a friend - then that's the angle I would play - it was best to be prepared. I pulled up in front of her house in the pouring rain. I parked on the street, sitting a few minutes to calm my nerves. It was clear that the rain wasn't going to let up - so I finally decided to make a run for it.

I grabbed the bags and ran for the front door. In a few moments, an angel opened it.

I was getting drenched in the rain - and it was unpleasantly cold out as well. Bella looked quite surprised to find me standing outside her door - and I didn't want to be rude and force her to invite me in - but I was freezing. I felt a wave of relief when she finally asked me in.

Bella looked amazing - she was dressed completely comfortably - and I had a sneaking suspicion she'd never gotten out of her pajamas today. Her hair was pulled back loosely and she wasn't wearing any make-up that I could see. She didn't seem at all self-conscious about the way she was dressed, and I added that to the mental list of things I liked about her. She looked so warm, I wanted to reach out and touch her to confirm it. I noticed a book propped on the arm of a comfortable chair and a blanket lying on the floor near there. She had probably been reading - I hoped she wasn't upset by the interruption. I also realized that I hadn't seen or heard her parents. Was it possible she was home alone? Perhaps the stars were more in my favor than I had thought.

I then realized that she was staring at me. I'm sure she had no idea what to make of me showing up at her house, soaking wet, unannounced, bearing an armload of ice-cream. I knew an explanation was in order, and she looked like that was what she was waiting for, but I didn't really know what to say.

Thankfully - Bella had the grace to break the silence and spare me fumbling through my rehearsed speech of why I was here.

"Would you like me to take those bags?" I handed them over. "And why don't you take your jacket off - I'll run to grab you a towel - you're soaked."

"Thanks, it is raining pretty hard out there."

As she dropped the bags in the kitchen, I pealed my wet jacket off - glad for a moment to collect myself. She returned with a fluffy towel. She didn't hand me the towel, instead she asked me to lean down - and she began toweling off my hair and arms. It felt amazing, and this simple gesture made me much more confident in the outcome of this little visit. When she had gotten the worst of the water off of me, she handed the towel to me so I could finish the rest. I hadn't zipped my jacket and had managed to get my T-shirt fairly damp. If I had been home - I would have taken it off- but for now I'd just deal with it.

"So? What brings you to my house in the middle of a storm, bearing bags full of ice cream?"

"You peeked in the bags?" I said, feigning shock.

"What can I say - I'm very curious - although the reason you are here is the matter I am most concerned about at the moment."

"Well, I came home for the weekend - and Alice isn't around, which you already know- obviously - and my parents are away as well - so I was bored - and I felt like some ice cream." I finished lamely. She must be thinking I am a complete fool. "Is that a good enough explanation for you?"

She eyed me for a moment, her big brown eyes amused. "For now it's enough." She finally replied coyly.

"Would you like the grand tour?"

"Okay."

"I'll be sure to point out the bathrooms - then you'll have no excuses about barging into my room, unexpectedly." She shot me a look and I knew she was teasingly referring to how we first met.

"I happen to enjoy it when girls barge into my room - claiming they were looking for the bathroom."

"Oh, really? Does that happen often?"

"All the time - I pay Alice fifty bucks for each girl she sends my way."

She turned around, momentarily shocked. "Are you serious?"

"No Bella, don't be absurd. In fact - you are the only girl that has ever done that - and I know it wasn't your fault."

As she pointed out the rooms of her house, I noticed how comfortable everything was. It was obvious that her family was well enough off, but the house had a different feel - it was best described as welcoming. Maybe it was the present company rather than the house - I couldn't be sure.

"Your parents aren't home?" I tried to disguise the hope in my voice.

"No, they still go out on dates together, which is where they are tonight. My dad planned an elaborate evening for my mom. It's quite romantic actually."

I laughed. "My parents do that, too."

"Isn't it great, though? It gives me hope, when I see how in love they still are. It helps me believe that someday I'll have that with someone as well."

Our eyes met for a moment then. For the briefest moment, a glimpse of Bella and I flashed through my mind - we were older - married - laughing together, while two beautiful brown haired children played nearby. She blushed slightly, and I wondered what my face betrayed. I forced myself to look away.

I shook my head, as if to physically disrupt this train of thought. If Jeff were here he'd kick me for the thoughts I'd been having. His plan would center around how quickly he cold get her on her back up in her room. I was standing here, imagining what my life would be like, fifteen years from now, married to Bella. I tried to mentally pinpoint the exact moment that I had become a girl.

We were at her room now - the one room I was most curious to see. I noticed immediately that her room smelled just like her - only in a more concentrated form. It was a flowery smell, haunting.

Her room wasn't overwhelmingly girly. You could tell that she hadn't lived in it for very long - it looked as if she were still unpacking, there were some boxes that were still taped shut in a corner. The floor had a thick carpet, and the bed was covered in thick blue blankets. There were school books strewn across a dresser, and I chuckled at the untidy pile of dirty laundry on the floor near a little hamper in the corner.

"Yes, I do need to do some laundry. Perhaps - I'd have tidied up if I had known you were coming." She smirked.

There was a bookshelf, packed to bursting with all sorts of books. Many looked as if they had been read over and over - their covers ratty and torn. It was obvious that she loved her books. I eyed her CD collection quickly, pleased to see many of my favorites among them.

I noticed some pictures on the nightstand by her bed. I sat down on her bed to get a closer look. They were pictures of Bella and her parents, her beautiful smile shining out at me. She'd always been a beauty, even as a little girl. Again, unbidden - thoughts of little brown haired children popped into my mind. I was really going crazy.

She sat down next to me, and we talked for a while. It was so easy to talk to her. She seemed to be able to see things from my perspective so easily, and I appreciated that she really listened to me when I talked to her, taking in all that I was really saying. She laid back on the bed, and I wanted to lean over and kiss her. I was pretty sure she wouldn't stop me. Instead , I turned on my side, facing her - propped up on my elbow. She reached forward and brushed my still slightly damp hair out of my eyes. I looked down to see her smiling slightly, her lips inviting. Now, I would lean in and kiss her. I began to lean in slowly, my breath catching. Our eyes locked, and I could see that she wanted this as well. I was closing the distance slowly, letting the anticipation build. Suddenly - Bella's eyes widened and she sat up quickly - nearly knocking me over in her haste.

"We forgot about the ice cream" she yelled. "It's probably melting all over by now!"

The moment was gone. I hated myself for not taking the chance before. I had desperately wanted to kiss her. Now, she was already halfway down the stairs. That did not go as planned.

"Shall we eat some ice cream?"

"Sure, I saw that you brought lots of chocolate - good choice." She winked at me and I was dazed for a moment. She was utterly adorable.

We scooped ourselves immense bowls of extremely soft ice cream. I laughed at Bella's copious use of chocolate syrup. She squirted some whipped cream on the top, dipped her finger into it and wiped it on my nose. She laughed at my face as I reached up to wipe it away. She shook her head for me to stop - she reached up - wiped it off of my nose and licked it off her finger. I had to look away, she had to know she was being a tease.

"Rosalie and I are over. We broke up on Monday." It flew out of my mouth unexpectedly. I had wanted her to know - I just hadn't intended to blurt it out so randomly.

Her face betrayed nothing - not shock or happiness or disbelief - nothing. She must be very good at poker.

She processed the information for a moment before she spoke.

"Is that why you're here?"

It wasn't a question I was expecting.

"I don't know." I replied, honestly.

"I'm sorry. It must have been hard for you to do. I know you were together for a while."

"It was a bit more difficult than I expected. It hurt more than I thought it would - but I guess we do have some history - and that doesn't just disappear."

She nodded, understanding. I wished I knew what she was thinking.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" She changed the subject completely. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I agreed to a movie and was amazed when she brought me downstairs to the most amazing home theater I had ever seen. It was incredible, with surround speakers, a huge screen that lowered from the ceiling and plush recliner seats clustered around. The lighting was perfect, and could be controlled with a remote to go up and down as necessary. It was so cool.

She laughed at my awed expression.

"Yes, this single room was the selling point of this house for my dad. He'd live down here if he could."

"It's great. I can see why he'd want to. Can I live down here?" I joked.

"Well, I can tell you're a guy."

"Did you just figure that out?"

"Oh, no. I'm pretty sure I figured that one out a while ago."

I was pleased when she pulled me down into a chair next to her. We watched the first movie, laughing and joking throughout. She left most of her ice cream in the bowl and it had melted into chocolate soup. We decided on a second movie, and I was quite pleased when Bella leaned into me. I placed my arm around her carefully. We didn't talk much during the second movie, and I wasn't surprised when I could feel her breathing even out. Bella had fallen asleep.

I stopped watching the movie and focused on the angel snuggled up to my side. I leaned down and buried my nose in her hair. I loved her smell. I wondered how it was possible for me to feel so much for someone I had known for so little time. There was a part of me, screaming, pleading with me to understand, that I couldn't lose her. That I had to find a way to make her mine.

When the movie ended, I lifted Bella in my arms, amazed at her ability to sleep so soundly. I carried her up to her room and laid her gently on her bed. As I was putting her down, her eyelids fluttered open briefly. She smiled and mumbled something about staying and that I smelled so good. I gently swiped a stray hair off of her cheek, and then I kissed her gently. I wanted to lay down next to her - sleep the night with her in my arms. I also knew her parents would be back - and probably wouldn't be thrilled to find me in bed with their daughter - innocently or not.

I started to walk out of her room, and then - impulsively - I pulled off my T-shirt and tucked it in next to her warm body.

I stepped over to the light, and jumped when the quiet was broken by her phone chiming - indicating she had received a text. Curiosity got the best of me - and though I knew I should respect her privacy, I flipped her phone open. It was from Jacob. I cringed, knowing this was the guy that had gotten to kiss those lips, take her out, and who maybe still held a piece of her heart. This was the guy she was planning on running back to.

I would give her a reason to stay.

I made sure her house was locked up securely. I needed to know she was safe.

Finally I pulled my damp jacket on, it was cold against my bare chest. I hopped into my car and drove away, my thoughts only on the gorgeous girl, sleeping in her bed - who had stolen my heart completely away.

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This was a bit of a marathon - sorry - I got carried away. I'll post what Bella was thinking as well (not the length of this one though!) Hope you liked it. Review if you'd like. I do appreciate your reviews immensely. Thanks!!


	9. AsleepAwake

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Disclaimer: Twilight, related themes and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 9 Asleep/Awake

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(Bella)

I was awoken by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. For a brief moment I completely panicked - I could still smell Edward - and part of my sleep fogged brain thought that that meant he was still with me. My room was dark, and I felt both sides of the bed - making sure there was no extra body in my bed. I resisted the urge to say his name out loud - realizing as I became more alert how utterly foolish I was being. I glanced at the clock, it was 4:00am. My parents were just coming up to bed. Had they just arrived home? I knew they would be late - but I didn't know if they had been downstairs for a while. I didn't really have a clear idea how long I had been sleeping.

I HAD BEEN SLEEPING!

With startling clarity that realization hit me. I had been sleeping. Had I dreamed the whole thing? Had Edward coming over just been a wonderful fiction my brain had concocted for my benefit? It had been so real - it was like I had really tasted the ice cream, really felt hi0s arm around me as I leaned in to him to watch the movie, it was like I could really still smell him near me. Was I so obsessed with this little infatuation that I was giving myself delusions?

I had been sleeping. If Edward had really been here - how come I don't remember him leaving? How come I had no idea how I wound up in my bed?

I sat up and clicked on my light. I was a little worried about my sanity at the moment - and suddenly sleep seemed as if it would be difficult to slip back into. I tried to go back in my mind to the last thing I was one hundred percent sure had occurred. I had definitely been reading. My parents had gone out- I had stayed in my pajamas.

"Are you awake, Bella?" My light turning on must have caught my mom's attention.

"Yeah mom, come in." My mom came in - looking radiant despite the late hour.

It was amazing how much my parents loved each other. It looked like they had had a wonderful time together. I'm sure I'd hear all about it later. My mother had already threatened to make me spill all my secrets, and she'd surely want to dish about their date as well.

She looked at me for a moment, and then her brow furrowed as she looked at me more closely.

"What's that?" She pointed at me.

I had no idea what she was referring to - was I wearing something I'd purchased recently that I hadn't shown her? That was unlikely - had I drooled on myself or something? What was it?

I looked down - and plastered to my chest was a shirt I would recognize anywhere. It was Edward's. It was the shirt he had had on when he DID show up at the house, wet with rain. It was the shirt I had wished would be too damp and uncomfortable for him to leave on. It was the shirt that had clung to every curve of his chiseled torso - causing me to ogle him several times through the night. It still smelled like him, and I took a breath - that was why I felt like I could still smell him near me.

"Bella, maybe it's time you did some laundry. I think you're sleeping on a dirty t-shirt. How did that get in your bed?"

Okay, this was good. I'd play this angle. I knew she wouldn't be that angry if I told her what had happened. It had been completely innocent. Completely. Yet, 4:00am, with his t-shirt stuck onto me, in my bed, didn't seem the best place to tell that story.

"Hmm, I think you're right. I have no idea how it wound up in my bed. I'll make sure I gather all my things up in the morning and get it all in the wash. (no - this shirt was never going in the wash - ever!)"

She was still eyeing me a bit strangely. I couldn't put much over on her - and I knew at any moment she would realize the shirt didn't belong to me. I balled the t-shirt up a bit and slid it out of sight. Time to change the subject.

"Did you just get home? I heard you on the stairs. Did you have a good time?"

"We just got home. It was wonderful - your father outdid himself once again. We ate at the most wonderful little Italian restaurant. We went to see a private art show. Then we went dancing. It was incredible."

"You look like you had a nice time. You've got that "date-night" glow." I winked at her.

"I'll see you in the morning honey - don't forget - I am still planning on making you spill your guts over tea. Don't think I've forgotten."

Oh, mom. I'm not sure you're ready for my secrets. Do you really want to know that I am head over heels for a guy I barely even know.

"Goodnight, mom."

As soon as she closed the door behind her - I snatched the t-shirt up and held it up to my face. It smelled so good - just like him. How one earth did his t-shirt wind up in my bed?

I had been sleeping! It was not a dream. He had really been here, and somehow, I had fallen asleep. The man of my dreams, the man who's babies I wanted to have (or perhaps, do the things that could result in a baby - was closer to accurate) , the man who I had thought about constantly all week, he had been here - in my house - and I had fallen asleep! That still didn't explain how I wound up in my bed - or the t-shirt, but at least I knew it wasn't a dream.

I thought about what had occurred again. He had come over. I had dried his hair, had been standing so close to him. We had laid on my bed - I think he was going to kiss me - I had wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to know if the thoughts I had about those yummy lips were true. I had stopped it before it happened - because I thought he still had a girlfriend. Ugh! It would have been nice if he had disclosed the fact that they had broken up a bit sooner. Perhaps, if he had, his shirt would have wound up in my bed by my doing, I would have been more than happy to peel it off of him.

I thought about the phone call I had with Jacob - the naughty way it had ended, with me - climaxing to thoughts of Edward. How bizarre that he had been here a few hours ago - had been on my bed - had probably wanted to kiss me. My panties were getting wet again, this guy was driving me completely crazy! How was it possible that I was so completely hot for him - and yet I had fallen asleep. How was that possible?

As hot as he did make me - I realized something else tonight. I didn't want to be a rebound for Edward, and I didn't want to be a one night stand, I wanted to be so much more. That was another reason I had stopped him from kissing me. I believe he has feelings for me, but what if they are feelings that are affected by the fact that he's had trouble with his girlfriend, and now has just broken up with her. He admitted it had been hard - there is obviously some lingering feeling there. I know how I feel about him, and it is too important to me to rush into.

I realized I had probably fallen asleep when we put on the second movie. It had felt so perfect being curled up next to him, with his arm around me. He was so warm, and solid. It was amazingly comfortable, as if I fit perfectly in his arms, as if I was made to be there.

I pulled off my sweatshirt and top - I slipped out of my pants as well. I slipped his shirt on. It was soft and hung comfortably on my frame. It felt like he was close to me.

I grabbed my phone. I quickly dialed the number I had been repeating like a mantra all week. I was sure I would just get his voice -mail. I didn't really know what I was even going to say, and I was quite surprised when a quiet, sexy voice answered.

"Hello?" He had obviously been sleeping. I wondered why he had bothered answering.

"Hi there. I'm sorry I woke you up. It's Bella."

He chuckled softly. "I know who it is silly. I'm glad you called me. When I left you were pretty much out of it. You're an amazingly sound sleeper." He laughed again.

I could feel my cheeks burning. I hoped I hadn't done anything too embarrassing while I was sleeping so soundly.

"I called to apologize for that. I was really enjoying your company - I can't believe I fell asleep. I hope you don't think I was being rude."

"You sound pretty chipper right now - do you often make phone calls at four in the morning?"

"Do you always answer your phone when someone calls at four in the morning?"

"Honestly, I don't usually get phone calls this early - so I can't say."

"Well, I don't usually call people this early - but you left me a little present - and I was wondering if your ride home was chilly because of it?"

"I did have a rather damp and chilly ride home. I didn't mind though."

"May I ask exactly how your shirt wound up in my bed? I seem to be a little fuzzy on the details."

"I don't really have a good explanation for you. I don't want to sound too forward - but I just felt like I wanted to leave a part of me with you. I hope that's okay."

It's much better than okay, Edward. My face hurt from smiling.

"I wanted you to know - it's quite comfortable. I may never sleep in anything else."

There was a long pause and I wondered if he had possibly fallen back asleep.

"Sorry, I was just imagining you sleeping in your bed, in my shirt - and I think I forgot how to talk for a second. It happens to be an incredibly sexy image, if you were wondering. Are you really wearing it, right now?"

"Yep. I really am - and not much else - if you needed any more fuel for that little fantasy." I purred my words - hoping he would realize how very interested I was in exactly what he was thinking.

"Thanks for that- looks like I'm starting my day a little early - I won't be able to fall back to sleep after that bit of information."

"I'm not sure how I wound up in my bed either? Care to fill me in?"

"I did say you were a sound sleeper. I carried you up and put you in your bed. No funny business - scout's honor. And before you ask - yes I was a boy scout - so I am allowed to say it. I made sure everything was locked up tight before I left. I wanted to be sure you were safe."

"You're pretty impressive, you know that Edward?"

"I'm glad _you_ think so."

Why did I fall asleep? Goodness Bella - you really are absurd at times.

"Is there any chance I might get to see you today?" We could both be forward.

"I would really like that, more than you know - but - I'm heading back up to school right away. I had needed to get some work done and I had skipped out on it to come home. I really have to spend a while at the library and finishing some stuff up for the week. I'm sorry - I really am. My parents are pretty decent - but they do demand that I get good grades. I can't really let it slide. Sorry - again."

"It's okay, really. I understand . It was a nice surprise to see you. Will you be around next weekend? Alice and I are planning a little get together for my birthday. Nothing big - no gifts or anything."

"I'd like to come home. I'm not sure if I will be able to, but I'll try."

I was disappointed. He sincerely sounded sorry about tomorrow - but he seemed a little less than enthused about next weekend. Maybe I'd read too much into things. I stifled a yawn then - but he still heard it.

He laughed again. "Sounds like you're ready to go back to sleep."

"I'm sorry again for waking you, and for falling asleep on you. Thanks again for coming to visit me. It was very sweet. Are you going to want your shirt back?"

"It was my pleasure to visit you - thanks for letting me. You are welcome to keep the shirt if you want. I'd like to be able to imagine you're sleeping in it."

"Thanks, then I'll keep it. Goodnight Edward."

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

I was about to hang up when I heard him call my name again.

"Bella? Bella - are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Would it be okay if I call you this week?"

YES!!

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good. Goodnight."

"Bye."

I turned out my light and snuggled down under my blankets. I could smell Edward - my heart was still beating too fast from our conversation.

I was certain of one thing - I was definitely in love with Edward. It seemed unreasonable to me, irrational - how could I be in love with him? Yet, as I drifted off to sleep, I truly did feel certain.


	10. Tea for Two and Telephone Calls

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Disclaimer - Twilight stories and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

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AN - Sorry it has been a few days between updates - my family needs attention too - so I've been a bit busy. Anyhow - I hope you enjoy. Special thanks to DebussyToThis - for your encouragement and awesomeness. :)

Chapter 10 Tea for Two and Telephone Calls

I woke up late in the day. I had had such an odd night of sleep, and even though it was well after 10:00, I still felt out of it. I sat up and when I looked down and saw Edward's shirt on me, my face broke into a ridiculous grin. I pulled the hem up and breathed in deeply. I really wasn't going to be able to wash this. It smelled too good.

I pulled on my pajama bottoms and threw my sweatshirt over Edward's shirt. I was unwilling to take it off.

I also knew my mom would recognize the shirt from last night - and I wanted a slight reprieve on that conversation - even though I knew it would be happening soon enough. As I headed to the kitchen, I saw my mom waiting at the kitchen table. She already had a pot of tea made, and a plate of my favorite blueberry muffins.

"Good morning, honey. Your dad's out running some errands - I had a long list for him this morning."

I smiled - that was code, for my mom sending him out to give us privacy to talk. She was definitely good.

"The muffins look good. Is the tea hot?" I yawned and stretched before settling into my seat.

"Yes, I was listening for you - I figured you'd be getting up kind of late this morning. It's perfect. So - are you ready to talk?"

I held up my hand - indicating I needed a minute. I swallowed the bite of muffin in my mouth and said, "Can I have a few sips of tea first - I just don't feel awake yet."

My mom nodded.

"Tell me more about your date last night."

"It was wonderful. Your father always outdoes himself. You would have liked the art show, it was a relatively unknown artist - but he was fabulous - contemporary - lots of promise. Oh, and there was a fabulous bookstore next to the restaurant - it was just loaded with old books. They specialize in antique books. You and I will have to go back one day - we could spend hours there. We had to get to the art show so we didn't have a long time to look. The weather was so awful last night - it just poured the whole time."

I nodded along while she spoke. I realized I couldn't make this muffin last any longer. I needed to be ready for her attack.

"Did you go out in all that rain last night? I noticed the freezer is full of ice cream? I hope you were careful on the roads."

Now was the time. What to say?

"Edward Cullen." I blurted out - way to go Bella.

My mother just looked confused.

"Edward Cullen, Alice's brother. He showed up - in the pouring rain, with a bag full of ice cream."

"Edward? Esme and Carlisle's son? Oh Bella - I saw a picture of him when I went over to help Esme plan the library benefit. My - he is incredibly good looking. Did you invite him over?"

I chuckled at my mom. Sometimes she seemed so much younger than she was. She was leaning forward in her seat, her eyes wide - waiting to hear the story.

"No mom, he just showed up. We met last week at the Cullen's. He had a girlfriend - who was incredibly beautiful , by the way - but they just broke up. He's very sweet. Just so you know - nothing happened - he didn't even try to kiss me (well, maybe he tried - but I was an idiot). I don't want you and dad freaking out about boys being here when you aren't home or anything."

She laughed then. "You know we trust you Bella. You're always very responsible, it's made life quite enjoyable for your parents."

We both laughed then.

"Did you want to kiss him?"

"Ugh - mom! You saw his picture - and I would bet he's even better looking in real life. What do you think?!"

"So is this why you're thinking about changing your plans for college?"

"It might be part of it. I have Alice here - and we are such good friends - I've never had such a close friend ever. I thought I would just come here and sail through the next few months - miserable. I was so set on heading back to Jake. I hadn't planned to like it here so much, but I feel more at home here than anywhere we've lived so far."

"Have you mentioned any of this to Jacob?"

"Not really, things are so different now. I tried to make it clear that when we moved we weren't going to consider ourselves dating anymore. I don't think he really gets it though. It's like he is annoyed that I am actually liking it here. Plus, of course - I wasn't planning on meeting Edward. I don't even know what is going on with us - if anything really is."

"Honey - I said this before - but your father and I will support your decision - whatever it is. I did mention to him that you might want to go to school a bit closer last night. I am sure this won't surprise you - but we would both be thrilled if that was your new plan. I would love to have you closer to home - and your father - he is not ready to give his little girl up yet. You are incredibly gifted Bella - you are a wonderful writer, your grades are excellent - you can get in pretty much wherever you want. I don't think you need to worry so much."

She grabbed my hand and brushed my hair out of my face. I smiled at her. She had been right - I had needed to talk - to let her know what was happening in my life.

"So, tell me more about Edward."

"Well, he is gorgeous - really he is. That whole family - I mean could any of them look more perfect - it almost isn't fair."

She chuckled. "I know - really. Their house is amazing too. Esme did all the decorating herself. It's incredible."

"He is really nice, too. He's smart, he wants to be a doctor. It's odd - we get along really well - almost like we've known each other forever. He treats me really decently, too. Like I'm worth his time. He seems to be interested - but mom - his ex-girlfriend - I can't compare to that at all. Anyhow - I feel like I'm being really stupid - because he's all I think about - yet I hardly even know him. I never felt this way about Jake."

"First of all, you don't always see yourself clearly, Bella. You are very beautiful - so to say you don't compare to his old girlfriend is ridiculous. If this boy has eyes in his head- I'm sure he's noticed as well. I see the way boys look at you when we go out together - I'm positive that you compare just fine."

"Mom.." This was getting a bit embarrassing. I could feel my face turning red.

"No, Bella - don't 'Mom" me. It's true. I know you don't have self-esteem issues or anything- but I don't really think you see how lovely you really are. And secondly - you aren't being stupid - you are taking an interest in a good-looking, decent young man - why shouldn't that occupy your thoughts? You're seventeen for goodness sake. I'd be more worried if you weren't thinking about boys all the time."

"I would suggest you make some time to call Jacob, maybe try to get him to see some of what is happening here. It would be good if he had an idea, especially if he is really counting on you being back in a few months."

I hugged my mom tightly. She really was the best.

We talked a while longer - she really must have given my father some list. We had been in the kitchen for a few hours. We agreed to look over some college websites later today. I felt so excited, so relieved. I was only anxious about one thing - calling Alice. I knew she would be thrilled if I stayed here for school - she had been trying to convince me to stay since I got here - but I was anxious because I knew I had to talk to her about Edward.

I showered and got ready for my day. I carefully folded Edward's shirt and tucked it under my pillow. I also threw in a much needed load of laundry. When I couldn't put it off any longer - I started my phone calls.

I decided to call Jacob first. I didn't want to hurt him - but he had to know that I wasn't feeling the way I used to anymore. I couldn't act like I was going to go running back to him. I didn't want to lose his friendship - but being with Edward made me realize that that was all I had left for Jacob - friendship. I had thought that I might be falling in love with him. Maybe if we had never come here - if we had stayed together - maybe it would have turned out that way. But life doesn't always turn out just as you plan. We did move, I did meet Edward. The time away from Jacob had seriously cooled any feelings I'd had for him.

It was time to let him know.

It didn't go the way I wanted it to. Jacob refused to believe that I didn't have feelings for him anymore. He said I was giving up on us - that I hadn't really given us a chance. He asked if there was someone else. I was honest - and told him that I was interested in someone else. I was trying to make him see that it really was over. We only ended up arguing. Really arguing. My mom even came in to see if I was okay because I was yelling so loud. I can have a really bad temper when provoked - and he was yelling and angry as well. When we had yelled ourselves out, and I could be civil again - I told him not to call me anymore. He said he wouldn't give up so easily. I hung up.

I had to wait a while to call Alice. I was too pissed off. I hadn't wanted to hurt Jake - but at the moment - I wanted to slap him. Why was he being so immature. It was over - there wasn't a chance of him winning me back. Why did he insist on dragging out the inevitable? Later, when I had time to cool off I realized I would need to talk to Jake again - not lose my temper - and convince him that it was over. I didn't have the patience to do it tonight.

My conversation with Alice was much more pleasant.

The phone only rang once and then she answered with her trademark enthusiasm.

"Hi Bella," she giggled. "It's such a surprise that you called."

Surprise? We always called each other.

"Okay - why is it a surprise? Where are you - I can hear the radio blaring."

"I'm in Jasper's car - he's driving me home. (I heard a muffled deep voice say 'Hey, Bella' - I still hadn't met Jasper yet - we'd meet for the first time this coming weekend - I couldn't wait.) And I said it was a surprise - because when you called, I had just hung the phone up. I'd been talking to my darling brother - about you."

Uh-oh! I wonder what he had said?

"Well, then you probably know why I'm calling. He came over yesterday and -"

"I know Bella." She cut me off. "He told me all about his little visit."

"So I was wondering - if, well, would you be mad if we saw each other again? I know I was your friend first. I swear I wasn't using you or anything. I don't even know if he wants to see me again - but it matters to me if you will be upset."

"Breathe Bella! My - I really think I must have overdone the whole jealous sister, jealous friend thing! Edward asked the same thing. I know why you might have thought I would be upset - I remember that conversation - but Bella - I love my brother - I want him to be happy. He really seems to like you. And I think it would be safe to say he definitely wants to see you again." I heard Jasper laugh in the background.

"Oh really?" My previous annoyance over the days events was forgotten. Edward wanted to see me again. Alice wasn't mad!

Alice just laughed.

"As if you didn't know that already." She huffed. "The only thing I ask is this - I still expect you to make time for me, and I may not always want to hear the gory details if you two wind up together - I mean it is my brother. Also - please promise we will always be friends - no matter what happens with Edward?"

"Yes - I promise. Thanks Alice. You are the best."

"Please just be careful with him Bells. He kind of has an old soul. I know you are different Bella - but I don't want to see him get hurt, either."

"I know Alice- and I wouldn't hurt him. By the way - I think I'm staying here for college."

I could hear nothing but a loud shrieking on the other end. I laughed. She started talking then , at super speed.

"We have to room together Bella. This is going to be so great. Wait until Edward hears. He's going to flip. I'm so glad you changed your mind. Did you tell Jacob? Was he mad? What do your parents think? Do they know about Edward…."

Alice, Alice, Alice. So much excitement in such a small package.

I retreated to my room just after 11:00pm. I was tired. It had been an emotionally taxing day. I pulled on Edward's shirt, happy to be "close" to him again. I thought about what Alice had said - that he wanted to see me too. I shivered in delight while butterflies danced in my stomach. I was interrupted in my happy reverie by my phone. I was sure it would be Jacob - and I was not in the mood to deal with him again today. I picked it up quickly, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw it was actually Edward on the other end.

"Hello?" I answered, a bit shyly - suddenly feeling short of breath.

"Hi, I didn't wake you did I. I wanted to have a chance to say good night to you." His voice was so sexy, melodious.

"No, I was just getting ready for bed when you called."

"Are you in your pajamas yet?"

I knew what he was getting at.

"Yes I am - I'm in my bed actually."

"What are you wearing?"

I giggled quietly. "Do you really need to ask?"

"I just wanted to know for sure, that's all."

"Yes, I am wearing your shirt. It still smells like you. It's nice."

We fell into easy conversation, flirting heavily.

I clicked out my light and snuggled down on my pillow, happy to be ending my day by talking to him. A girl could seriously get used to this!

**Next up - a first date - and then a little drama. Hope you liked it. **

**I do love reviews as much as the next gal! I appreciate all of you who do. Thanks! **


	11. Sweaty Date

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Disclaimer - Twilight and related characters/stories are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. So very lucky!

Chapter 11 Sweaty Date

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(Bella)

Edward was - in a word - amazing. When we were finally able to get off the phone Sunday night - I was already missing his voice. Thankfully he called early Monday to wish me a good morning. We spoke again Monday night and Tuesday morning. Alice laughed at my giddiness. She said he had called her Monday night to tell her how much he was enjoying getting to know me. She was convinced that he was pretty head over heels already. I was enjoying the insight Alice was able to give me - something most people didn't get , as they were probably not dating their best friends brother - and confidant. It was so cute when she called on Monday to tell me all the details of her talk with Edward. I asked if she thought he would mind that she had told me - and she laughed and said he was probably counting on it.

I had not had a chance to talk to Jacob again, yet. He hadn't called - which I took as a very good sign. I still felt the need to be sure he understood exactly where all of this left us. I wasn't convinced that a few days of thinking time had actually helped what I had said to sink in. He had sounded pretty convincing when he had said he wasn't giving up. I decided to be sure and try to call him tomorrow. Right now I was anxiously awaiting a call from Edward.

I squealed like a little girl when my phone rang a moment later, my stomach doing crazy flip flops.

"Hello there. I was waiting for you to call."

A soft chuckle came from the other end. My heart was melting. Soon his sultry voice was in my ear. "Hello. I would have called sooner if I knew you were so anxious. Did you have a good day?"

"It was fine - this is by far my favorite part so far, though."

"I was wondering if there was any chance that I might be able to see you tomorrow?"

I took a deep breath. Were we going to go on a date?! YES!

"Well, what did you have in mind." Good Bella - be cool.

"Here's the thing, I feel a little ridiculous saying this, please don't think I am totally pathetic - but, I miss you - already. I'd really like to see you - and I don't think I can wait until the weekend. The only thing is - that I would really like our first date to be special - memorable for you - and I don't think that I can come up with anything that fantastic for tomorrow. I do have a plan - but it would involve you meeting me halfway - and I feel that that isn't really nice of me to ask of you. I really feel I should meet your parents, give your dad the opportunity to grill me - you know - the standard first date protocol. It's just that, if I head all the way back - it will be hours of driving - and I have an early class on Thursday. I thought if we met halfway - I'd get to see you - and still get back to my room at a somewhat presentable hour. If you'd rather not - I'll totally understand - and we'll shoot for a proper date some other time."

"Honestly, as much as my parents would appreciate you dropping in to meet them, I would hope you might have another opportunity to do that. I would really like to see you also - so we're both pathetic I guess. I wouldn't mind meeting you somewhere."

"Really?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "That is so great Bella."

I heard what sounded like a small crash on the other end followed by a string of obscenities. I'd never heard Edward talk like that and I was a bit shocked - but more amused than anything. I wondered what had happened to upset him so much - especially when he'd seemed pretty happy a moment ago.

"Wow Edward, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He laughed, "Not too often - though I'd like to kiss someone else with my mouth. Sorry about that - I got so excited when you said I could see you tomorrow that I knocked over my water bottle - and it poured all over this paper I have to hand in tomorrow. I can't believe I just did that. It's a good thing it didn't tip the other way - or it would have poured all over my laptop. Sorry again."

I was laughing too hard to reply.

"I can see why you're so amused - I'm glad me ruining all my hard work is so funny to you." He huffed at the end.

"I really don't think it's funny about your work - I'm just happy that you're so excited to see me. Will you still be able to had your paper in?" I was concerned - I didn't want him to think I didn't care about his work.

"It's fine actually - I'll just print out a new copy. I was just surprised more than anything. I love to hear you laugh. It's a beautiful sound."

"So where exactly am I meeting you, then?"

"It's a place called The Inner Wall, it's out in Smithburg- off of highway one. You'll need to bring some comfortable shorts, and a short sleeve shirt or tank top - something you'll be cool in. And then I thought I could get you some dinner."

What on earth were we going to be doing on this date, jogging? I was a bit skeptical for a moment.

"So what will we be doing at this Inner Wall place, if I may ask? I am imagining I'll be getting sweaty - is that the plan?"

He laughed again. "You'll see when we get there. I really think you will enjoy it - and yes - you may get a bit sweaty, and again - yes that is part of the plan also." He laughed again - but this time there was a hint of mischief behind it.

I got a pen and paper and wrote down the very detailed directions he gave me. We planned to meet at 4:30 tomorrow. He didn't think it would take me more than 40 minutes to get there. I decided I would leave right after school - in case I got lost - which I surely would, regardless of his careful directions.

I slept restlessly all night. I couldn't contain my excitement at getting to see Edward, on a date. I was dying for him to kiss me, for him to touch me, be close to me - anything.

I told Alice where we were going in the morning. She gave me a bit of a funny look and then said that she hoped her brother knew what he was doing. I begged her to explain her cryptic remark - or at least tell me where we were going - but she wouldn't say another word about it.

Finally the bell rang to signal the end of school for the day. Alice gave me a quick hug and wished me luck. She said I should call her as soon as I got home - and not a minute later. Before I knew it I was rolling down highway one, my body absolutely shivering with excitement. Amazingly I did not get lost once. I would really need to thank Edward for giving me such good directions. It was close to a miracle for me to find an unknown place without getting lost once.

When I pulled up, I realized it was only 4:10. I was pretty early and Edward wasn't here yet. I looked at the sign and then got out and peeked in the window.

"Indoor rock climbing? Okay - this is an interesting idea for a first date." I spoke out loud to myself.

I wasn't sure what I thought of his idea. I wasn't exactly the most graceful person, standing on my own two feet on level ground. I had serious doubts about my ability to navigate up the side of a wall, away from gravity. I decided to hold back my judgment for now, perhaps it would be fun - and truthfully - I couldn't think of much I wouldn't enjoy if I had the chance to do it with Edward.

I pulled out a book and started on my homework. I had only been working for a few minutes when I was startled by a knock on my window. I looked up to see Edward's gorgeous face inches from my window. His hair was blowing slightly in the breeze. He flashed me that incredible lop -sided grin and I smiled back.

I jumped out of the car, and threw myself into his arms. He seemed pleasantly surprised as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. It felt so right to be close to him. I breathed him in, closing my eyes and letting the sensation overwhelm me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his cheek on the top of my head. We stood this way for several moments, until I finally pushed back a little and he reluctantly let me go.

"We could spend our date like this," he kidded. "I wouldn't complain."

"Oh no, I have been aching to do some rock climbing, no way am I passing the chance up." I joked.

He slid his arm around my waist and smiled. "Well, I did enjoy the nice greeting, either way. Now- shall we go climb some rocks - seeing as how you are so eager."

"Sure, I just have to grab my bag. May I ask why on earth you chose this place. I mean - it's fine I guess - just curious."

He smirked and hesitated in answering. "Perhaps I just really enjoy rock climbing and thought I would share my interest with you."

I could tell that was _not_ the reason, by the look on his face.

"And if I don't believe you?"

"Then I'd say, I already knew how smart you are, and it doesn't surprise me that you can tell I am so obviously lying." He was still smirking.

"Are you going to give me an honest answer?" I pressed. Curious, now.

"Honestly?" I shook my head. "I wanted to see you in shorts, and I wanted to see you sweaty, and I wanted to have an excuse to touch you as much as possible. I'm sorry, I am a guy - it's not an excuse - just a fact - and I can't help that you are so beautiful and make me crazy." He spoke so quickly I wasn't sure I caught it all.

Had he said I was beautiful - and that he wanted to touch me?

I moved slightly closer to him, pulling his arm tighter around me. "Sounds good to me."

I changed quickly, pleased I had chosen some flattering shorts and a tight tank top. He hadn't been kidding about his reasons - and I planned on making it worth his while. We met in the hall - and I was struck again with wonder at how on earth I came to be in this place, with this guy. He had changed into some loose shorts - but his shirt was sleeveless, white and quite tight. A number of very naughty thoughts flooded my brain - a commonplace thing in his presence. He gave me an appraising look - and as he turned to lead us in to the rock climbing area - I noticed he needed to adjust himself a bit. Now it was my turn to smirk.

He gave me a crash course on climbing and we began on the easiest walls. The harness had to be stepped into and strapped around your waist. Edward wasn't kidding about the touching - and he had been right about the rock climbing offering lots of reasons for us to be close. I was loving how his hands lingered at my waist as he made sure I was fastened in securely. My skin burning wherever his hands had touched. There weren't many people here - and I was the only girl in the whole place. A fact that wasn't lost on Edward - and it caused him to be even more protective.

I was surprised by how much fun I had. It was actually really fun. The climbing was challenging, and it forced me to put a lot of trust in Edwards' directions. I was doing better than I had anticipated - which I credited with Edward's wonderful teaching. I did get sweaty, and so did Edward - his white shirt nearly see through by the time we were finished - revealing sculpted abs so delectable - I could barely tear my eyes away.

It was so exciting to watch Edward climb. He was really skilled - and I could see that each move he made was precise. He never wasted energy , always calculating where to move for maximum grip and footing. Before we left he moved over to the expert wall - and I watched in awe as he scaled it. I had the feeling there weren't too many things that Edward wasn't good at. He looked so strong, my mouth watering each time his biceps flexed as he pulled himself higher. He was so hot - it was inhuman.

When we finished, we each retreated to the locker rooms to get cleaned up. I had to take a quick shower - I was too sweaty to just change. I knew Edward would need to shower as well - so I didn't rush. I was very pleased with our date so far - the only regret that I had was that we had been so busy doing the climbing, and I had had so much to learn - that we didn't really have much chance to just talk. I was looking forward to dinner - and the chance to just relax across from him, staring at his handsome face.

I was finished getting ready first. I waited in the hall for Edward, occupying myself by looking at all the signs tacked to a large bulletin board. He came up behind me a few minutes later, wrapping both of his arms around me and burying his face in my hair. We were both wearing t- shirts and jeans - and his arms were freezing cold. I rubbed my warm hands against his frigid skin.

"Why are you so cold?"

"I was completely sweaty - so I decided on a long cold shower." I wondered if that was the only reason for the cold shower.

He held me for another moment - and I wished desperately that he would kiss me.

He released me and took my hand. We headed out to our cars and he drove us to a small diner. It seemed to be a bit old, but it was clean and the smell of food coming from it was mouthwatering. I had built up quite an appetite with our climbing.

When we were seated, he continued to hold my hand over the table top. I was pleased that he wanted to touch me. He didn't even look at the menu - he just kept staring at me. I knew what I wanted as well. Our eyes met, and I couldn't look away. His green eyes were mesmerizing, his full lips turned up slightly at the corners.

Kiss me, I thought - willing him to read my mind.

The waitress appeared and took our order. Edward ordered pancakes, eggs, bacon and toast. My dad was going to love him. I ordered a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake.

"Nice - I figured you would go for a salad. I'm impressed."

"Why- a cheeseburger isn't very ladylike?"

He laughed. "I think it's perfect. I'm just used to girls who won't eat much - especially in front of guys. Alice doesn't count - she's so tiny - she gets full from eating five grapes. I was thinking of getting a burger too - it was a toss up - but my love of breakfast food won out."

"Well, you won't have to worry about me not eating. My mother says I eat like a horse. Fortunately, for now I have a pretty good metabolism - so I can eat and I really don't pay the price. I run a few times a week - but I don't go crazy. I'll have to change my ways soon though - I don't think I'll be able to eat like this in another five years without packing pounds onto my hips and butt."

He smiled. "I think your ass is pretty near perfect. If you don't mind me saying so."

My cheeks began to burn.

"You're so pretty when you blush - it brings your whole face to life. I'm really glad you met me today. I was missing you horribly. I wish I didn't have to say goodbye to you in a little while. I plan on eating slowly." He winked at me. I reminded myself to keep breathing.

"I had a good time climbing. I wasn't so sure how it would be - but I think you made a good choice. I have a feeling I am going to be pretty sore tomorrow."

"Yeah - you might be - your arms especially. You did really well. Thanks for being a good sport - I know I didn't give you fair warning about what we would be doing."

Our food arrived and we ate with some light conversation sprinkled through. We were both famished - so our food was top priority. When we were finished - we both lingered - not wanting the date to end. I ordered a cup of tea - and we talked a while longer.

"Tell me something, like a secret, something few other people know."

I thought for a moment. "My mom thinks you're hot."

He looked at me, confused at first, then his face began to get red.

"That was unexpected. How does your mom even know what I look like?"

"She saw a picture of you at your house, she knows Esme - they volunteer together.

My mother shares my good taste."

He laughed.

"You're turn." I prompted - staring at him as I waited intently for an answer.

"Okay, I was once a runner up in a contest for underwear models. Alice convinced me I had to do it, she took all these pictures of me in my bathing suit - and I came in third." His face was red again.

I could definitely see Edward as an underwear model. When I didn't respond he raised his eyebrows - willing me to say something.

"That is a very nice image. I could definitely see you doing that. If I had been a judge - you would have won." I winked at him. He smirked again.

We finally had to say goodbye. He drove me back to my jeep and walked me to the door. I was still hoping to be kissed. I didn't want to say goodbye. Saturday seemed so far away.

He wrapped his arms around me and I melted into him. He held me close for several minutes - and I wished I could just stay right here forever. He stepped back - and I was sure I would finally get that kiss. I closed my eyes as he leaned in, tipping my face up slightly. His left hand slid up to cup my cheek. My heart was beating frantically. He leaned in and kissed my forehead gently, his lips soft and warm. He stepped back then - and I was incredibly disappointed. I thought about reaching up on my tiptoes and kissing him - but decided against it. I climbed into my car and headed for home.

My phone was ringing as I pulled into my driveway. It was Edward.

"Hello?''

"I'm such an idiot. I should have kissed you - I wanted to kiss you - I'm sorry I didn't kiss you."

"You are an idiot. I wanted to be kissed. I really do appreciate that you can be such a gentleman - but I can handle a bit more - for future reference."

"I see - so next time we go out I should just grope you and have my way with you. Excellent."

We were both laughing at his foolishness.

"How about if you give me a real kiss for my birthday? I would really like that."

"I think I can manage that."

When I was finally in bed that night, cuddled in Edward's shirt - I realized that Saturday could not possibly arrive quick enough.

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You'll get Edward's date thoughts next. For all of you who wished Jacob a fond fair-well - he isn't quite out of the picture yet - sorry!

Review if you'd like. Thanks for reading!!


	12. Sweaty Date Take 2

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Disclaimer: Twilight stories and characters are the creation Stephenie Meyer.

AN: Thanks you guys for reading and for all the fun reviews - you are too much. I really, truly do appreciate your thoughts!

Chapter 12 Sweaty Date / Take 2

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(Edward)

I couldn't get Bella out of my mind. It was incredibly distracting. One minute I'd be halfway through an Advanced Calc problem - the next I'd be imagining kissing Bella's full pouty lips. It was beyond distracting really.

I was enjoying having the chance to talk to her so often - incredibly glad that she seemed to be just as interested in me as I was in her. I made sure I let Alice know some of my thoughts about Bella - completely sure that she would tell Bella what I had said as soon as I was off the phone. Alice being Bella's best friend might work out to my advantage. Just talking to her wasn't enough though. I physically needed to see her, to be able to reach out and touch her. It wasn't simply a desire - it was a true physical need. I was surprised once again at how strongly this girl made me react. The only problem at the moment was the distance between where she was - and where I was. I wanted to see her so badly - yet I couldn't justify the drive during the week - especially when I fully intended to drive down for her birthday. I had been hesitant when she had first asked me to come, I was really a bit behind because of all my trips back and forth recently. My parents wouldn't be happy in any way if my grades suffered at all. Thankfully - the thought of seeing Bella was extremely good motivation - and I had spent the last few days getting everything caught up. I had even started some papers that weren't due for weeks - giving myself every possible advantage in terms of taking weekends off. I was hoping they would be quite occupied with a lovely brunette.

But the problem remained of seeing Bella now. I really wanted to do this right, pick her up, plan something incredibly romantic, meet her parents. I wanted to completely sweep her off her feet. Erase all thoughts of any other guy clear out of her mind. But to do that - I would need time that I didn't have this week. I debated asking her to meet me, cutting my drive time and therefore making the possibility of seeing her much more likely. I hated to do it. It seemed so pedestrian. Something any guy who couldn't be bothered doing it right might do. I did not want to be that guy.

I had decided to suffer through until Saturday. I just couldn't justify asking her to drive to meet me for a date. I would do this right. She would appreciate the romance I intended to shower on her - unlike a certain blonde who wouldn't have cared less.

As soon as I spoke to her on the phone tonight - my resolve flew out the window. As soon as I heard her angel's voice - I knew I had to ask her to see me. Screw the whole romantic, perfect gentleman, crap. I could do pedestrian if it meant seeing her, being able to breathe her in. I was ecstatic when she agreed. So ecstatic - I knocked over my water bottle, water pouring over my work. Smooth, Edward - very smooth. Jeff watched and laughed. He was completely pissed that I was intent on pursuing Bella. He felt it seriously put a damper on his plans for the two of us to be a dynamic duo of single guys - ready to take the co-eds by storm. He kept insisting that word of my break-up with Rosalie had gotten around and the girls were lining up. Great - just what I wanted - a line of petty girls ready to hop in my bed - (okay - on some level this had some appeal - no point denying it). It only really appealed in any way to my completely male/carnal side. I couldn't ever use girls the way Jeff did. I mean - I like sex as much as the next guy - but I actually want it to mean something. Unlike a lot of the other guys I knew - Jeff being the number one case in point. But Jeff could complain all he wanted - this girl was worth it - I could feel it. Bella was quite simply - the answer to every prayer, every wish, every dream I'd ever had. Not to mention the fact that she was hot as sin and too damn sexy for her own good.

I decided to ask her to meet me to do some indoor rock climbing. The Inner Wall was one of my favorite places - and I had a feeling if Bella gave it a try she'd really have fun. Of course I had ulterior motives. I knew she'd need to where shorts, and since the image of her in her little shorts in my parents kitchen was completely etched in my mind - I was eager to have that view again. I also knew that it would be an activity that would force me to have a lot of physical contact with her - I wanted to touch her so badly. The last reason was purely just to feed my insane male longing to ogle her body. I knew I could watch her perched above me on the wall, arching her back, pushing her ass out - spreading her legs to reach a far toe-hold - mmmm - what was there not to love about that.

I was already on my way to meet Bella for our date when Alice called me. I considered just ignoring it - but knew she would just keep calling until I gave in and answered - better to get it out of the way now. Of course she thought my idea for our date was ridiculous. I hadn't expected her to see it from my point of view - I also didn't really care. She finally gave up her one-sided argument and wished me luck. I laughed as I hung up - I knew she had meant well.

As soon as Bella stepped out of the locker room in her little shorts and tight tank top - I knew I had made the right choice. She would be the death of me. It was a fact. As we walked in to the climbing area I had to completely adjust - glad I had opted for some loose fitting shorts that would make my little problem slightly less noticeable - unfortunately - Bella noticed, and the smug little smile that graced her lips spoke volumes.

Bella picked up on the climbing quickly. She wasn't going to be doing much more than climbing the beginner walls - but for a first try - I was impressed. It wasn't really her skill so much - but her willingness to simply try - and to listen so intently to all the directions and pointers I shouted to her. She was determined - and was soon able to scale all the simpler walls. The view from the floor was every bit as amazing and tantalizing as I'd hoped. Unfortunately - she was the only girl in the place - and even though there weren't a lot of climbers today - they all seemed a bit distracted by the view she was offering. That was the single drawback. As she descended the wall - I leaned in close for a moment - intoxicated by the slight tang of perspiration mingling with her perfume. I made sure to leave no doubt to anyone watching that she belonged with me.

I took a moment to show off a bit when we were nearly done climbing. Bella watched me on the expert walls - and it felt good to know her eyes were on me - that she was appraising my movements - and even possibly enjoying her view as much as I had when I was on the floor and she was above me. I was so thankful that I had asked her to meet me. I had been like a junkie - needing a fix - and now that I was with her - I felt okay again. I knew tomorrow would be hell.

The climbing had been helpful in terms of my earlier arousal - but as we headed back down the hall toward the locker rooms - I noticed how the sweat on Bella's body glistened slightly, how it made her already tight shorts, stick closer in all the right places. Her hair was pulled up loosely into a pony tail and tendrils were pasted to her neck - damp with perspiration. I glanced up and down the hall quickly - there was no one around. I wanted nothing more than to push myself against her , back her against the wall, run my tongue from her collar bone - up her neck - licking the salty sweat from her skin. My earlier problem came raging back and I was forced to adjust once again.

As I entered the deserted locker room I momentarily contemplated taking a moment to "relieve" some of my pent up tension. I think I would have if I wasn't worried that someone would come barging in. I suppose I could always lock myself in a stall. I shook my head - realizing the effort wouldn't be worth it at the moment - but tonight - in the privacy of my own room - I knew that would be a different story. I opted for the coldest shower I could stand - the water so freezing it was almost painful. I hoped that would hold me over, help me keep my sanity for a few more hours at least.

When I exited the locker room, Bella was already waiting. I couldn't help myself. I walked up behind her, wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me - burying my face in her wet hair. It smelled so good - clean, almost fruity - but with that distinct undertone that was uniquely Bella. I wanted to kiss her so badly - to turn her in my arms and mold my lips to hers.

Instead, I took her by the hand and we headed out to dinner. This date was going perfectly. She surprised me by ordering a cheeseburger - man - I think I love this girl! I had been completely embarrassed when she had said her mom thought I was attractive (no - I think - 'hot' - was the word she used). I was quite eager to meet Bella's mom - she talked about her often and I imagined she was pretty special. I was also just interested in meeting both of her parents - because I was so grateful for the amazing daughter they had raised. I wanted them to know the kind of man I was - knowing with certainty that their approval would count for a lot in Bella's eyes.

As I walked her to her car - I could feel an ache growing in my chest. I really didn't know how I was going to get to Saturday without seeing her. When we reached her car - I wrapped her in my arms - loving the feeling of her melting into me - she fit so perfectly. I was going to kiss her. I needed to kiss her. I needed to know that tonight had been as special to her as it had been to me. I leaned back slightly, leaning down towards her slowly - she had her eyes closed, and as she tipped her face up - I knew that she wanted this too. I was about to seal the deal - I was about to do the one thing I had dreamed of every night lately. And then it hit me - What the hell was I going to do? I had been kissing the same girl for years - I knew just how to tilt my head - just how much tongue she liked - everything - but - what now? I wanted our first kiss to be perfect. Our first date had been great - not the perfectly planned evening I would have preferred - but it had turned out great none the less. But this kiss - this kiss _had _to be perfect. It had to be perfect - and suddenly - instead of being an experienced college man - I felt like an inexperienced kid - completely unsure of my ability to please her. I panicked. I leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead. Her skin was soft and warm. As I moved away - I could see the disappointment in her eyes.

As I watched her drive away I mentally berated myself for being such a cowardly ass. Why didn't I kiss her? She had wanted me to - and I didn't. Now I wouldn't even have the chance again until Saturday. I didn't want to wait that long.

I drove a while - continuing to tell myself what a huge mistake I had just made.

I finally pulled my phone out to call her. I had to call - especially as I was resisting the urge to turn around and follow her home - kissing her when she exited her car - kissing her the way I should have moments ago.

"Hello?''

"I'm such an idiot. I should have kissed you - I wanted to kiss you - I'm sorry I didn't kiss you."

"You are an idiot. I wanted to be kissed. I really do appreciate that you can be such a gentleman - but I can handle a bit more - for future reference." Why didn't I kiss her! Your are such an idiot, Edward.

"I see - so next time we go out I should just grope you and have my way with you. Excellent." Right - you can talk the talk Edward - go ahead and flirt - have your little fantasies about screwing her brains out - but when she is really there - right in front of you - begging to be kissed - you tuck your tail between your legs and run - really impressive.

We both laughed. I was relieved that she wasn't mad.

"How about if you give me a real kiss for my birthday? I would really like that."

Yes - and that kiss will be perfect.

"I think I can manage that."

When I was finally back at my room, in my bed - I realized that Saturday was too far off. I closed my eyes and tried to get to sleep. I wrapped my arms around my pillow, remembering how it felt to hold Bella close to me tonight, how her damp hair had smelled, how smooth her skin had been under my lips. The pent up desire that had been building all day was keeping me wide awake. I finally gave up the fight, headed for the bathroom and locked the door.

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Hope you enjoyed. Bella's birthday will be next - and what would Bella's birthday be without a little drama. I can promise that Jasper won't try to bite her ( although I must say - as a very big Jasper fan - that idea has merit - wink wink). Thanks so much for reading!


	13. Birthday Surprises

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Disclaimer: Twilight - plots and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 13 Birthday Surprises

(_Bella_)

Saturday took its sweet time arriving, but eventually it did. I knew I should be excited at the prospect of it being my 18th birthday - but somehow - all that was on my mind - the only thing that really mattered to me about today - was getting to finally kiss Edward - to really and truly kiss him. I had been fantasizing about this kiss day and night. I wondered if he would rush at me as soon as I opened the door, his lips meeting mine before I would even have the chance to speak - or would he wait for the perfect moment - perhaps laying across my bed again - leaning in, letting that perfect moment of ultimate anticipation build. I was desperate for this kiss, wanting to run my fingers through his untidy tresses, slide my tongue across his sexy lips - to pull away from him slightly dizzy, with the taste of him still in my mouth.

My mother was amused by my behavior. She said she felt a little sorry for Edward - because she didn't think there was any way he could live up to the wonderful daydream I'd built up in my mind. Of course, my preoccupation with all things Edward had led her to be very anxious to meet him. My father, on the other hand, wanted to meet him for other reasons. He wasn't willing to share his daughter's affection - and I think he intended to say as much. I had only ever dated Jacob steadily - and we had been friends for a while first - so I don't think my dad ever took that too seriously. He certainly didn't get all antsy about meeting him the way he was now. I begged my mom to have a talk with him - try to reign him in a little. I knew my dad - and I could see him demanding fingerprints, hair and saliva samples. I laughed - because Edward would probably still try to be Mr. Perfect Gentleman and comply with my father's overprotectiveness. I hoped again that my mother would successfully convince him to relax.

I intended to spend the morning with my mom and dad. I was going to be going out later in the evening for dinner and to go dancing. There was a club just outside of town where a lot of kids hung out on the weekend. I had been intending to check it out - and tonight seemed to be a good night. I was really looking forward to getting to dance with Edward. Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were going to meet at my house later - and then we would head out together. Emmett was bringing a new girl that he was seeing. He said she was amazing - which I believe for Emmett was code for - gorgeous plus a big chest. He was a "man's man" after all. Edward was going to come a little early so he could meet my mom and dad. I glanced at the clock - it was only 8:30 - I couldn't imagine staying sane until he got here. I thought of those perfect lips - that I would soon be kissing - and smiled. My mom giggled, noting my face.

"This guy must really be something." She teased.

That was truly an unbelievable understatement. He was something - god-like, sexy, gorgeous, charming, chivalrous, hot, beautiful, sweet….yes - he was something.

"You have no idea."

She peeked over at my dad - who was reading the paper while drinking his coffee. She blushed slightly and said, "Yeah - I think I do."

For the millionth time - I wished that I could know I would have that when I was older - the love my parents had amazed me.

My parents gave me some gifts over breakfast. I received a new iPod (in an embarrassing incident known only to my mother - I had knocked my old one into the toilet in one of my all too common fits of clumsiness - needless to say - it was no longer in working order). I also was given a gift certificate to the bookstore my mother had discovered - along with a promise from my mom for a lunch date and a shopping excursion. I was about to get up and thank them - when my mom reached behind the counter and gave me another wrapped package - my father gave her a look - which I assumed meant that he didn't think she should always spoil me. She just smiled - and I tore the paper away to reveal a great pair of jeans I had tried on at the mall recently - that were way out of my price range. Not to be outdone - my father cleared his throat - and when I looked over at him - her handed me a piece of paper. Now my mom was giving him a look - and he just shrugged - and we all laughed. They were too much. The paper my father handed me was a receipt from the insurance company - he had paid up the rest of my car insurance for the year. Awesome! I had the best parents!

I ran to give them each a hug.

"Thank you - I love you both so much."

"We love you too, honey." My mom looked slightly teary eyed.

"Eighteen? I guess I have to stop thinking of you as my little girl. It's not going to be easy." My dad looked wistful for a moment - surely flooded by memories of my younger self.

I spoke to Alice and Edward and confirmed the times when people would get here. Finally, it was late enough in the day that I could jump in the shower and get ready for the evening. Alice and I had gone shopping and I had found a great miniskirt to pair with a dark blue blouse I owned. Alice had urged me to try on a pair of black high heeled boots - and although they weren't the sort of thing I would usually wear - they brought the outfit together perfectly. I was sincerely hoping that I would be able to drive Edward crazy tonight. I wanted him to have plenty of excuses to kiss me more than once.

I spent some extra time in the shower - hoping the hot water would help calm my nerves a bit. I had thrown on my clothes - but I still needed to do my hair and put on some make-up. I had been halfway through blowing my hair dry, when I heard a knock. My mom was at the door .

"Emmett's here early honey. You should see his date - she looks like a model. Strangely - they look completely perfect together. He's dying to introduce you."

I abandoned my hair for the moment and ran down the stairs. I stopped in my tracks at the bottom of the steps. Emmett was laughing and talking to my dad - next to him - holding his hand - was an exquisite blonde. A beautiful woman I would know anywhere - though we had never met. I had only seen her face staring out of a photo in Edward's room. It was Rosalie.

She was wearing a red halter top and skin tight black jeans - with red strappy heels. She was so perfect it almost hurt to look at her. Her hair fell down her back in stunning waves, and her face looked like air-brushed perfection. Her body was amazing as well. It felt as if I had been punched hard in the stomach.

I quickly took inventory of myself. Compared to Rosalie - my skin was too pale, my butt too big, my boobs too small, my hair too frizzy, …Why on earth was Edward calling me, paying attention to me, when he had been attached to that? I couldn't compete with her - not even in some crazy parallel universe. It simply was an impossibility. And Edward had broken up with her - had said they had both moved on. How does one move on from that? And then another thought hit me - like a ton of bricks - they had had sex. I was sure of that - I mean - look at her - I would have sex with her, she was so beautiful (okay -that was an exaggeration - but I mean - she was incredible - ugh!) My self-esteem had just taken a knock-out punch - I was amazed that I was still standing. This was going to be a very awkward night.

I took some small comfort in watching Emmett and Rosalie together. Emmett was my big bear - more like a brother than a cousin. He was huge, extremely muscled and athletic. His wavy brown hair gave him a boyish quality - and he had adorable dimples when he smiled - which he hadn't stopped doing since he got here, from what I could tell. He was a cutie - and I had to agree with my mom - somehow - the two of them did look right together.

Emmett spotted me then and called me over.

"Hey birthday girl! Get over here - I want you to meet Rosalie." He gave me a big hug when I walked over. My stomach felt uneasy - as if I were on a boat - rocking at sea.

"This is Rosalie. She went to school here - this is her hometown - small world, huh?"

She smiled at me - and I had an urge to hide in my room, under my blankets.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella. Emmett has had lots to say about you. Happy birthday. I love those boots, by the way." She seemed sincere. I wanted so badly to like her. Should I tell her about tonight? Should I tell her who would be arriving shortly? Would she be as friendly then?

I glanced at my boots for a moment. Standing next to Rosalie - in all her splendor - the outfit I thought would drive Edward crazy seemed plain and far from sexy. The excitement that I had held for this night suddenly dimmed significantly. I realized they were waiting for a reply. Could I be more of a fool?

"It's nice to meet you also. I'm glad you could come (liar). How did you and Emmett meet? I thought he pretty much kept to the gym and football field."

She smiled. "You're right about that. I saw him in the gym one day - and I have to admit - I've kind of been like a stalker for the past few weeks. He finally talked to me last week - thank goodness! I was getting really sick of the treadmill."

"Yeah, well - the truth is - I noticed her the first time she was in the gym - and I asked around - and found out she had a boyfriend. It killed me to see her - knowing I couldn't ask her out - and then I heard she had broke up with her boyfriend - and I swooped in- hoping that she'd agree to a date in her fragile - post-break-up state."

They smiled at each other - and he leaned in and kissed her cheek. A pretty flush bloomed on her cheeks. Lovely, she could even blush better than I could - I only ever managed to look like a tomato.

My dad swooped in then - offering them a grand tour of the house. I knew he just wanted an excuse to show off his precious theater - but he was entitled to his fun. I ran up to my room - eager to finish my hair and make-up. Edward would be here soon and I had to be ready.

I had managed to style my hair into submission. I had applied more make-up then usual - but I was still feeling the sting of plainness I had experienced next to Rosalie - and knew I was trying to compensate. I surveyed myself in the mirror. I remembered the night I had gone to Alice's for the party - the night I had met Edward. I had stood in front of this mirror and been confident. I took a deep breath - and looked at myself again. My hair was shiny and sleek, the outfit I was wearing hugged me closely in all the right places, and the boots made my legs appear much longer than usual. My make-up, though a tad heavy - did look sexy for a night out. I looked good - I really did. Edward wanted to be with me - maybe I wasn't Rosalie - but who cares - he wanted to be with me - and she apparently wanted to be with Emmett. I decided I would continually remind myself of that, tonight.

A quiet knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts. I was sure this was Edward and my stomach began dancing with butterflies. I intended to open the door for him - but found my legs a bit shaky all of a sudden. I sat on the edge of my bed and called for him to come in. Come in Edward - and kiss me! I'll worry about Rosalie later - now I just need to kiss you.

My door opened slowly - and my mouth dropped open. There in the doorway stood Jacob.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

This day had started off so perfectly. All I wanted was a nice day, and a kiss - from Edward. I wasn't selfish or greedy. I didn't think that that was too much to ask from the day. Two little things - that's it.

What I got was a surprise visit from Rosalie the Beautiful - and Jacob - standing at the door to my room, with flowers in his hand.

I had been calling him for days - relieved in a way that he hadn't answered. I had thought perhaps our conversation had sunk in and he was moving on. That was what I wanted. How could I have known that he was on his way here? It was over! How could he be so thick-headed. Why was this happening?

"Happy birthday Bella. Did I surprise you?" Oh yes - I was surprised.

"Hi Jacob. Yes this is a huge surprise. What are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday, of course. Plus - I had to tell you that you were making a mistake. You have to give us a chance Bella. You can't just throw it away. I was falling in love with you. I missed you so much."

I could see on his face that all his words were true. I wanted to feel the same - I wanted to at least feel a twinge of that. It was nice - especially after my despair over meeting Rosalie - to feel wanted. I did feel wanted - but I didn't feel anything else. He had driven all this way - driven for days - for nothing.

He approached my bed and I stood. He handed me the flowers - which I thanked him for - and then pulled me into an awkward hug. I had kept my hands occupied with the flowers.

The look in his eyes changed slightly - as he realized that I wasn't returning his hug.

"Jacob - I can't believe that you're here. You came all this way, but it doesn't change anything. There is someone else Jacob. I'm not coming back - there isn't any "us" to give a chance. It's over. It was over when I left. You knew that."

He looked as if I had struck him. I hated myself. I looked at the flowers he had given me. They were pretty. I didn't want to look up and see the pain on his face again. This had been easier over the phone.

I didn't know what else to say. Jacob had just been staring at me. He hadn't said anything yet. I decided to busy myself with the flowers.

"I'm going to get a vase for these - they really are beautiful - thank you."

I headed for my door. I peeked over my shoulder and saw Jacob watching me as I left the room. Suddenly, the look on his face changed. I didn't know this look. It seemed like - confusion? - or maybe anger? I didn't know. I turned and walked out of my room.

I was about to descend the stairs when I felt Jacob's hand tighten on my shoulder. He spun me so that my back was against the wall. It happened so fast - he was pushed up against me - my back pressed against the wall, roughly. Then his lips were on mine, kissing me, hard - trying desperately to coax my lips open with his tongue.

The flowers slipped from my hand.

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AN: Thanks so much for reading. I promise more regular updates, I was just a bit swamped this week. Sorry! Review if you'd like. It is most appreciated.


	14. Party Time?

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Disclaimer: Twilight stories/characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 14 Party Time?

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(Bella)

My back was up against the wall. Jacob's lips - lips that I had once welcomed - had once thoroughly enjoyed kissing - were pressed up against mine. They weren't welcome. They were an intrusion - they were making my stomach churn. If I was being honest with myself - I was a little scared. Jacob had never treated me roughly before - and the way he had grabbed me - the way his mouth pushed against mine so insistently - was bordering on violent. I shut down. I stood still, dropped my arms. My lips were motionless. I prayed that Edward would be late, that he would get a flat tire, that he would get pulled over for speeding - anything that would keep him from walking in right now. I couldn't have cared if he punched Jacob - in fact at the moment I might welcome that - but I knew how much seeing me like this would hurt him - and I did not want to hurt Edward.

I kept my lips tightly closed, and finally managed to turn my head away enough. He froze for a moment - fully realizing that his efforts had been wasted. As he slightly eased his hold on me - I quickly ducked under his arm and ran down the stairs. I was grateful that no one was in the living room at the moment. I needed distance from Jacob - and no audience. I was so angry!

Jacob had headed down the stairs as well. He closed the distance between us - and I was worried that he would try to kiss me again.

"Stop Jacob. You shouldn't have come here. I want you to stay there."

He didn't stop moving. He stepped closer, slower now. He looked remorseful - but I didn't trust him at the moment. I clenched my fist - if he came closer I was going to punch him.

"I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have done that. Let me talk to you." He stepped closer - and I reacted.

I swung my fist forward with all my might. My father had taught me how to throw a decent punch - I had pretty good form. My fist connected squarely with Jacob's jaw - and he looked stunned that I had actually hit him - and with so much force. I waited for the pain to register on his face - only to realize that at that moment my hand exploded in agony.

"Ow! Ow! I really hurt my hand." I shook my hand back and forth - hopping on one foot like an idiot - trying anything to lessen the throb in my hand. Tears were stinging my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. Nice birthday!

Jacob started yelling then. "What the hell are you doing? Why did you hit me? I came all this way - because I care about you - and you try to deck me?"

I didn't know what to say. He was fuming - I was in pain. Tears still poured out of my eyes.

At that moment, Alice and Jasper opened the front door. I have never been so grateful for my friend. She ran to me when she saw I was crying and wrapped her arm around me. Jasper - who I had never officially met - took a look at me - and then at Jacob. He immediately crossed the distance of the room and stood between the two of us - glaring at Jacob.

"Who the hell are you?" Jacob spat at him.

"I'm a friend of Bella's. I don't know who you are - but I was raised to know that a man doesn't yell at a woman and make her cry like that. Did you hurt her?"

I liked Jasper immediately.

"No, I didn't hurt her. She punched me in the face." Jacob was yelling again.

All the noise had alerted everyone else in the house to the argument. The pain was lessening in my hand. Edward still hadn't arrived.

Emmett stood next to Jasper. He looked menacing. The two of them towered over Jake - and I had a momentary pang of pity for him. He hadn't really meant to start all of this.

My dad took control of the situation. "Bella - did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, "I punched him - and I really hurt my hand - it was my own fault."

He turned to Jacob, "Are you okay Jacob? She has a mean hook that girl." Jacob grinned. My father had always liked Jacob.

"No sir, I think she tried pretty hard though." He leaned to look at me around the others between us, "I'm sorry Bella - I just wanted to see you - I'm sorry you hurt yourself."

"What are you doing here Jake - it's quite a ride."

"I came for Bella's birthday. I guess I should have called her first. I wanted it to be a surprise." Yeah - it was a surprise alright.

Suddenly - an extremely awkward silence descended. I felt like a fool for causing so much fuss over nothing. No - I hadn't wanted to kiss Jacob - but this had turned into something more - and I wished I could just walk away - head to the kitchen and grab ice for my hand. I was being a coward. I didn't want to deal with any of it.

Leave it to my mom to try and break the tension.

"Hello, Alice. It's so good to see you - who's your friend?"

Alice smiled - knowing what my mom was trying to do.

She grabbed Jasper's hand and spun him around. He leaned over and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. I nodded, my cheeks suddenly warm. He really was amazing to look at - and he obviously knew how to treat a lady correctly.

Alice introduced him. "This is my boyfriend Jasper." He shook my mom's hand and nodded to my dad and Emmett.

Rosalie had been pointedly staring at both Alice and Jasper. They finally returned her gaze and I saw the confusion that betrayed her perfect features.

Alice whispered something to Jasper and he nodded.

"This is Emmett - Bella's cousin, and his friend Rosalie." My mother was finishing the introductions. Jacob was actually laughing in the corner with my dad. I pouted - my dad was such a traitor.

"We know Rosalie," Alice said - in a cool tone.

Alice turned slightly and asked me where Edward was. This was a good question.

It surprised me when Rosalie actually looked around and then said, "What? Why is Edward coming here?"

"Edward and Bella are seeing each other. He's coming for her birthday." Alice sounded like it was difficult to be polite.

"Oh. I see." I could see that the friendliness Rosalie had extended earlier had been retracted. I didn't like the way she looked at me now - as if she was performing the same comparison between us as I had earlier - and coming up with the same result - how much I lacked next to her.

The next two hours passed quite differently than I had originally planned. I had to spend a bit of time taking care of my hand. It was red and a bit swollen - it hurt badly. Alice called her dad - and he spoke to me on the phone - assessing the situation. He felt it would probably be okay - but advised me to ice it for a while - and said if it was still swollen in the morning I would have to get it x-rayed. Jacob's jaw wasn't bruised or red or anything. Real fair.

I checked my phone right after the whole incident in the living room. I couldn't figure out where Edward could be, but then I remembered my prayer on the steps - and hoped he hadn't really gotten a flat - or pulled over. He had called. He sounded different on my voice mail - strained - upset even. He said that something had come up at school and he couldn't leave. He said he was really sorry. I was so disappointed. The sadness and empty pain welling in my chest far outweighed the discomfort of my hand. I called him immediately but he didn't pick up. I continued trying to call every twenty minutes - to no use.

I had talked things out with Jacob. He seemed to finally grasp that it was really over. He made a rude remark about Edward - wondering how much he really cared about me if he couldn't even come see me on my birthday. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt to hear that said out loud. My father - who went from being my hero this morning to public enemy number one this evening - had invited Jacob to stay at our house for the night. I knew it was the right thing to do - but I didn't want to deal with Jacob anymore tonight. My father promised to entertain him - and they retreated downstairs, to my relief.

As the hour got later, and it was clear we weren't making dinner - Emmett came to let me know that he and Rosalie would be heading out. They decided to go and have some fun - especially as Alice kept shooting Rose annoyed little looks. I couldn't blame them for wanting to leave.

So - at 7:30 - Alice, Jasper and I sat in my kitchen. I had just hung my phone up - for the hundredth time - still not able to get a hold of Edward. I was in an angry mood. I wanted to get out of this house - to preserve some shred of my plan for this birthday.

"Let's get out of here. My hand feels a bit better - and I don't want to spend my birthday sulking."

"What would you think about heading back to my apartment. I know of a big party tonight - we can find Edward - it could be fun. You two can crash at my place and I'll drive you back in the morning." Jasper had a good suggestion. I had to see Edward - it was perfect.

We all agreed - and after getting my parent's permission, Alice and I headed up to my room to grab a few things. My make-up needed fixing after my crying jag. I grabbed some pajamas, a change of clothes, and a toothbrush.

I had picked up the flowers from Jake that were still on the floor and threw them in the trash.

"Bella - is that Edward's shirt in your bag?" Alice asked - raising her eyebrow as she smirked at me.

"You don't want all the gory details about your brother, remember." We both laughed.

Soon we were heading to the party, radio blaring, laughing and enjoying being out together. Jasper and I became fast friends. He had me laughing so hard with all his stories about Alice and Edward that my stomach was hurting. I continued to try Edward's phone - a small ball of panic forming in my stomach. Alice and Jasper both told me to relax. Alice really believed that Edward would have a good reason for not showing up. I tried to believe them. I was still hoping against hope that I would actually get that kiss tonight.

We stopped at Jasper's apartment first. It was tiny, but clean - which was appreciated. I tried Edward one last time - with no luck. We swung by his dorm room - but there was no one there. Now I was really getting upset. Alice seemed a bit unsure of where Edward could be. Jasper thought we should head to the party and ask around there.

We arrived at a house 10 minutes from Jasper's apartment. You could hear the music blaring from down the street. There were people everywhere. As soon as we walked through the door, Jasper groaned.

"Ya know - I thought it would be cool to go into a party with you two hot ladies on my arm - and though I definitely appreciate the company - I don't particularly appreciate all the stares. Stay close- okay Bella. Edward would freak out if I let anything happen to you."

The party was very crowded. People were dancing, some were very drunk. It was hot and smoky. I felt a hand on my ass more than once in the short amount of time it took to fight our way to the back of the house. We finally found a slightly less crowded room. As we mingled a bit - Alice pointed out Edward's roommate Jeff. He was tall, built - with sandy blonde hair. He was clean cut - with the typical college boy appeal. He was talking to a short red-head who looked like she was really trying to get away from him.

I decided to kill two birds with one stone - I'd set her free and see if Jeff knew where Edward was.

I decided it was best to go for sexy - knowing the things Edward had told me about his roommate. I walked over, being sure to catch his eye first. He stared at me - his mouth slightly open as if he had stopped talking mid-sentence. The red-head looked up - saw me approaching and quickly slipped out of the room. Jeff continued to stare - I swayed my hips, staring back - this was going to be too easy. I may not be Rosalie - but I'll do.

"Hey beautiful. What's your name?" He smiled at me - eyes glued to my cleavage.

"Bella. Nice to meet you Jeff." He looked up then - confused as to how I knew who he was. Pleased at his good fortune.

"Bella?" His face then seemed to register recognition of my name.

"Do you know where I can find Edward?" He was back to staring - no longer at my chest but at my lips. His expression changed and he gave me a smirk.

"What do you need from Edward? I'm sure I can help you with whatever you need." I highly doubted that.

"Well," I looked up from under my lashes - trying to tease. "It is my birthday - and I was supposed to see him today - he had something special he was going to give me. He said he had some stuff to do here though - and I can't get a hold of him. Do you know where he is." Jeff's smile widened. Perhaps I had overdone it with the lashes and all.

"Yeah - I can see why he'd be so crazy jealous over you. You are really pretty - do you want to take a walk with me? Maybe we can go find Edward." Yep - I overdid it. No - I am not leaving here with you.

"No - I have to stay here - I came with people - but I really need to find Edward."

"You have a really pretty mouth - no wonder he was so pissed when he got back earlier."

"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"He went to see you Bella - and when he got there - you were all over some guy. Edward was so mad - he came in and started breaking stuff. He's already mad - you probably can't make it much worse - why don't you come with me?"


	15. Where and Why

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Disclaimer: Twilight - works and characters, are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

_AN: Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews!! I can't express how much I appreciate you reading. Special thanks to lassadae for #100 - you rock! _

Chapter 15 Where and Why?

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(Bella)

I had taken a step away from Jeff. The words he had just spoken were echoing in my head:

"He went to see you Bella - and when he got there - you were all over some guy."

Edward had seen. He had seen Jacob kissing me. How was that possible. What happened?

I suddenly felt like a fish out of water. I could feel that my mouth was open , that I was trying to breathe, trying to appear normal - but no breath came - no sound from my mouth - just this strange feeling of detachment.

I snapped back to reality when I realized that Jeff had his hand on my arm and that he had stepped closer. He was still going on about how I should leave the party with him. My hand clenched into a fist - and I winced at the sudden surge of pain. I had to find Edward. I was fighting an overwhelming surge of panic. I still hadn't found my voice - but I realized I needed to do something quickly - before I let myself be steered right out the door by Jeff. He really didn't look like the type to take no for an answer. Shit! This day was just going from bad to worse. And to think that all I really wanted for my birthday was a kiss from Edward. Was that really too much to ask!

For the second time that day - Alice and Jasper came to my rescue. As they came to stand behind me - I was able to shrug Jeff's hand off of my arm. My hand clenched again as he looked like he was going to try to touch me again. He stopped moving when Jasper started laughing.

"Hey man, you might want to keep your hands to yourself. Just fair warning - because I saw the bit of rage she unleashed on the last guy who touched her without her permission today and I assume you like your face the way it is." Jeff raised an eyebrow as he looked at me - I'm not sure if he thought that Jasper was just spouting random nonsense - or if he might be putting two and two together about what Edward actually saw.

Jasper turned to me and leaned down to my ear, "Seriously Bella - if you actually hit him - you probably will break your hand - if it isn't already. What happened - does he know where Edward is?"

"He said that Edward saw - earlier - me with Jacob. He said Edward was really mad. How could he have seen? I never saw him." I stopped speaking. I couldn't think of anything else to say.

I realized that Jeff had decided to tune Jasper and I out. He was smiling at Alice - completely staring her up and down.

"You are looking hot - as usual, Alice. What are you still doing with this loser?"

Jasper's anger was immediate. He stepped closer to Jeff, inches from his face. He was several inches taller - and at the moment - looked a whole lot scarier. The four of us were causing a bit of a scene.

"Don't you dare even speak to her. You have exactly ten seconds - to tell me where Edward might be - and to stop thinking about Alice or Bella - after that - you might get to find out if the ladies think you're as pretty with a broken nose and some missing teeth." I felt a little chill run through me. His voice was menacing - and had the seal of a promise. I would hate to be Jeff at the moment.

Jeff stared for a moment. I'm sure he was actually preparing another little taunt. Jasper inched slightly closer and said , "Just give me a reason."

"Fine - I have no idea where Edward is - he's my roommate - not my wife, asshole. He came back, trashed the room a bit - because he saw your little Bella kissing some guy - and from what he said it wasn't some innocent little kiss. Then he left. I don't know where he went. My advice was that he go find a decent girl and get laid - maybe he took it." He sneered at me as he said this last bit. My stomach dropped out - please God, don't let that be where he is.

A few minutes later I found myself sitting on the couch in Jasper's apartment. I couldn't seem to recall exactly how we got back here, I was a bit fuzzy on the details. The only things in my head were the thought that Edward had seen - and obviously misunderstood what had happened with Jacob - and that he might be with some girl - right now - doing who knows what. The second thought hurt a million times worse than the first. I knew I could try to explain the situation with Jacob - Edward would understand. But - what if he had decided to find a girl - that was too painful to ponder for long. Especially since I knew the reaction I had when I first him - I was ready to crawl into his bed - no questions asked - I was quite sure there were tons of girls on campus that felt the same way.

Alice and Jasper had been talking in the bedroom. I wasn't listening to what they were saying - only vaguely aware of them mentioning my name or Edward's name occasionally. Alice came to sit next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders and pulling me in close. She kissed the top of my head and I felt a few tears slip out of my eyes. I really didn't want to cry.

"Jasper is going to take a ride - see if he can find Edward. He has some ideas about where he might be. It's going to be okay, Bella. Edward really cares about you - I know he does. He just needs to know what really happened."

"I'll find him Bella. You haven't known Edward long - but he does have a knack for overreacting." Jasper gave Alice a quick kiss and left.

Moments later I heard his car start and the blare of the radio fading as he drove off.

Alice stopped rubbing my back and spoke - breaking the maddening silence. "So - did Jeff want to show you a good time? He is such an animal - I swear - I can't believe he gets all the girls he does - maybe he just waits until they're too drunk to care?"

"Yeah - he said something about me leaving with him - it's partly my fault though - I seem to be getting good at giving guys the wrong idea. He sure pissed Jasper off."

"Ha! That's an understatement. I met him when we helped Edward move into his room - and he's been trying to get into my pants ever since. Evidently, the fact that I have a boyfriend and have told him - quite clearly that it would never happen - are not deterrents to him at all. Jasper hates him with a passion. Partly because Jeff's an ass and feels the need to ogle me at every opportunity - and partly because I always tell him to leave Jeff alone. He thinks I should let him punch him once - help get it through his thick head - I'd rather Jasper not waste his time. I'll be glad next year when Edward lives with Jasper."

"Are they moving in together?"

"Yes, they have an apartment lined up. They were going to do it this year - and then Edward had this whole weird thing about needing to get the whole college experience - and apparently living in a dorm fits in with that. Of course - he wasn't planning on having such a jerk for a roommate. Edward really doesn't like Jeff - he spends half his nights sleeping on the couch here anyway."

"Um Alice - do you think Edward is with another girl - now?" I had to ask. Alice would know.

She was silent for a moment. "No - I don't. Edward really isn't like that. He has talked to me a lot lately about how much he likes you - in fact - he actually asked me specifically not to tell you just how much he does. I think that whatever he saw really upset him - and Jasper is right - sometimes Edward overreacts. I do have a question for you though. Why didn't you ever tell Edward anything about Jacob? He knew things - because I told him - but he said that you never really said much about Jacob - why?"

I thought for a moment - I hadn't realized that I had said so little to Edward about Jake. I guess it just seemed like there wasn't anything to say.

"I don't know - I think it just was something that I figured was over - and I didn't want Edward to have to deal with it. If I knew this would happen - with Jacob coming here and everything - I would have told him - made sure he knew that there was nothing left there. But that doesn't help much now."

"I think he wondered if there _was_ still something. Maybe that's part of the reason he got so upset?"

We talked for a while and then decided to raid Jasper's fridge. We had skipped dinner. Unfortunately, we weren't interested in old Chinese take-out or pickles - so we each just grabbed a soda. We changed into pajamas and flopped back down on the couch. I had thrown on Edward's shirt and a little pair of shorts. Alice eyed me for a moment - I knew she was dying to ask.

"Just ask, Alice!"

"Fine," she huffed. "How exactly did you wind up with that shirt?"

I told her about the night with the ice-cream. She was laughing hysterically when I described how my mom came in and thought I had fallen asleep on my dirty laundry. By the end of my story she was shaking her head.

"That boy! He is too romantic for his own good. You better appreciate it - because he loves doing stuff like that. Rosalie never cared - she just wanted to be worshipped for her looks." It felt like her comment about Rosalie was a bit harsh - she had seemed nice when Emmett first introduced us.

"Why do you dislike her so much?"

"Sorry - I don't mean to sound like a total witch. She wasn't that bad I guess. It's just - he's my brother - and my best friend. It always felt to me like she was always waiting for something else to come her way. I can't really explain it. I was kind of surprised they lasted as long as they did. She never did anything horrible to him - to be fair. But she didn't appreciate him - she really didn't."

"I do - appreciate him. I am pretty sure that's not going to matter much after tonight - but I want you to know that I do. Honestly - I think I'm in love with Edward." I looked down - not wanting to see her face - not wanting her to be angry.

"Bella - I know. And that's what he told me not to tell you - that he thought he was in love with you, too."

We flipped on the television - not really watching anything in particular - flipping through the channels.

My ears strained to hear sounds - willing my phone to ring - willing Jasper to come speeding back - with Edward in tow. The minutes seemed to drag on.

It was after 11:00 now. The remaining minutes of my birthday were ticking by. I couldn't believe that after all that had happened tonight - I was still hoping I would kiss Edward before my birthday was over. Nothing like a little wishful thinking.

We both jumped up when we heard a car stop outside - car doors slamming. We ran to the door as we heard footsteps approaching - but my heart started feeling heavy. I could only hear one set of footsteps - whoever was coming - they were alone. I looked at Alice - too nervous to speak.

"Bella- I know this is going to work out." She was so sure - so certain - that I had to believe her.

The footsteps stopped outside the door - Alice peeked out and threw the door open for Jasper - kissing him squarely on the lips as he entered. He smiled against her lips - wrapping his arm around her tiny frame and lifting her up as he walked in.

It was just Jasper.

I looked away from them - not needing to be a witness to Alice's very warm welcome back. Finally - I heard a sigh - and Jasper placed Alice on the floor. Alice blushed a bit as she looked up at me and mouthed the word "sorry". They were too adorable together - it was almost disgusting.

Jasper cleared is throat. I jumped a bit - startled, anxious, nervous. I wanted him to tell me what he knew - and the wait was torture.

"I found Edward - he was pretty upset - but I explained what happened. He's actually downstairs - outside - waiting to talk to you - he wanted a little privacy."

Jasper was still finishing his sentence when I took off at a run - leaving the door open - tearing down the hall - barefoot in my pajamas.

I could hear Alice and Jasper laughing inside the apartment.

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Sorry - no kisses yet - and next you'll get to find out what Edward saw - and how he reacted to it all. Then maybe we'll get to some more yummy -yummy!

Thanks to all of you who have reviewed - I really truly do appreciate it!


	16. Emotional Overload

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Disclaimer: Twilight, stories and related characters - are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 16 Emotional Overload

(_Edward_)

I was sitting on a metal bench. I looked up to the darkening sky. Where there had been some stars twinkling earlier this evening - they were being blotted out by the increasing clouds. There was a storm coming - and part of me was glad - as it fit my mood. The bench was cold, and getting colder by the minute. I'm not sure what I was hoping to accomplish by sitting here, my clothes still soaked in sweat that was now growing icy against my skin. A few people walked by - I paid little attention.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was after 10:00. I let my mind wander briefly to what Bella might be doing right now. The past few nights - I would be calling her about this time. It had become my favorite part of the day. I would lay on my bed and just close my eyes letting her soothing voice envelope me. I wondered if that guy was still there - was he holding her- kissing her?

In a sudden rush of fury I heaved my nearly full water bottle against the brick wall opposite the bench I was sitting on. It exploded in a rush of cracking plastic and splashing water. The busted bottle fell to the ground, leaving a wet mark on the wall. I can't remember ever being this angry - and not just angry - hurt also. I hated to admit it - but I was really and truly hurt. It felt almost like someone had reached into my chest and ripped my heart out with their hand - leaving little tendrils inside that stung and burned.

I rested my elbows on my knees, leaned forward and placed my forehead in my hands. I rubbed the heel of my palm over my eyes- trying to rid my mind of that hated image that had taken up residence there. Bella - pressed against the wall, someone else kissing her lips. I had to gasp for breath. I wondered for the hundredth time how the events of this night came to be. All I had thought about - endlessly for the past days - was kissing her. I was literally going crazy. I had planned it all out to the letter - I was going to introduce myself to her parents- I was going to be the gentleman - I was going to sweep her off her feet. I wanted to kiss her like she had never been kissed before - so when she tried to compare it to something - she couldn't - because there would be nothing to compare it to. And in the end - I was beaten to the punch by some long haired little boy, who didn't look like he'd have a clue how to please her correctly. Certainly not the way she deserved. And yet - here I was - alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I replayed the events of the day in my mind. I got ready to go see Bella - completely nervous. I had changed three times - wanting to look my best for her. I had stopped to pick up flowers on the way - and the gift I had for her was on the seat next to me. I couldn't keep a stupid grin off of my face as I drove. I had needed to take a cold shower before I left because I was a bit over-excited. Man, I had it so bad - I was completely crazy over her and we hadn't even kissed yet. I was definitely going to remedy that today - I was going to kiss her - long and hard - until she forgot how to breathe. I had to adjust once again - thinking about her luscious lips pressed against mine - imagining her pretty pink tongue caressing mine - which of course led me to imagining those luscious lips and tongue caressing me other places as well. I turned the radio up louder, trying to drown out the little fantasies playing through my mind.

It seemed like somehow - this was a turning point to my life - like I had found something - some missing piece of me that I hadn't even realized I had been looking for. Those thoughts of Bella and I - older - with children of our own, had crossed my mind frequently. If the truth were told - I guess I would have to say that I am that guy - that old-fashioned gentleman who knows what it is he wants - and will work to be sure it becomes his. I know most guys my age would be running the other direction if their thoughts turned to marriage or kids - but I wasn't that guy. That was part of the rift that had formed between Rose and I - she wanted an exciting carefree life - travel, expensive things, time to devote solely to herself. I wanted to be a small town doctor, with a family, a home. I wanted the life my parents had - a loving wife - children - the things that really amount to a life in the end. Somehow - as I sped along the highway to my Bella - I felt like I was also speeding along to my future - and it felt so right.

And then - as if the fates were frowning at my happiness - karma - bad juju - whatever you want to call it - It all went south. I pulled up in front of Bella's house and immediately recognized the red BMW parked in front. It was Rosalie's. I groaned - What the hell was she doing here? I pondered for a moment - and then was hit with a realization - Bella had said that her cousin was going to be hanging out with us tonight - he was a football player back at school. I knew Rose was seeing some huge jock - they had been spotted together a few times recently - (Jeff felt it was his duty to keep me informed about "the sex-goddess that I let get away"). It had to be the same guy. I'd heard he was just muscle on top of muscle. That sounded right up Rose's alley. Even though I wasn't thrilled at the idea of seeing Rosalie - especially when I wanted to be solely focused on Bella today - I knew we could be civil to each other - it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway. I headed for Bella's door - anxious to kiss my angel.

When I got to the door - I did a quick change of plans. I had intended to do the whole introductions, perfect gentleman ….. - but there wasn't anyone around at the moment that I could see. What if I let myself in quietly and found Bella - and was able to give her the kiss we were both dying for - before having to face the awkwardness that would surely ensue when Rosalie and I were in the same room. What if I could find her and we could have a few private minutes alone together before we did the whole "party" thing. This seemed like an excellent plan. I thought for a moment what I would do if someone else found me prowling around first - and I decided I would just claim I had knocked but when no one came I had let myself in.

I opened the door quietly - feeling a bit foolish for trying to sneak in. I wasn't sure exactly where to look - but decided I would take the chance that she might be in her room - she knew when I was coming - and maybe she would be finishing up getting ready. I walked to the bottom of the stairs - stopping when I realized I could hear voices at the top. I smiled when Bella stepped out of her room - and then the bottom dropped out of everything.

She was holding flowers in her hand. Who had given her flowers? I had heard voices - who was she talking to? I was about to say her name out loud, when a second person came in to view. He looked younger then Bella. He had russet skin and long black hair, he was tall and thin - as if he hadn't grown into his height yet. His face was very boyish - I imagined this was Jacob. And then he had his hand on her arm - he pushed her up against the wall and they started kissing. It was one of those moments where time seems to suddenly stand still. I actually blinked a few times - thinking that perhaps I was seeing this wrong - maybe it wasn't Bella- maybe they weren't really kissing? No such luck. Then a variety of emotions ripped through me - shock, anger, disbelief, sadness - and a searing pain settled right into my chest. The adrenaline kicked in and my brain settled on two options - I could grab the guy - rip them away from each other - smash in his pretty little face; or I could leave and hope that no one was the wiser.

I turned on my heel and quietly exited her house, being careful to be quick and quiet. When I had turned around to leave - they had still been all over each other - it was the last thing I saw before I left. I started my car and drove away - accelerating quickly once I was off of her little side street. When I hit the highway - I pushed the car to ninety - not caring in the slightest if I got pulled over - my only thought was to try and outrun the pain. When I had driven for about twenty minutes - I pulled over and got out of the car. I hadn't outrun anything - and the anger surging through me needed an outlet. I opened my mouth and yelled- letting out a horrifying scream at the top of my lungs, followed by a seemingly unending stream of obscenities. I wanted to just get it all out. When I had a shred of control, I realized I would need to let Bella know I wouldn't be showing up - otherwise Alice would wind up calling and she would never let up until she got the whole story. I called Bella' s cell - and left a quick message, making up some ridiculous thing about something coming up at school. I couldn't decide if I was happy about getting her voice mail - I hadn't wanted to talk to her - but I immediately wondered if she was too "busy" to pick up her phone.

I laughed bitterly as I got back in my car and continued back to my dorm. Had I really been planning my future with this girl as I drove to her house earlier? That seemed impossible now. I wondered for a moment why I hadn't let her know I was there, why didn't I stay ? I had promised myself I would fight for her that night I visited her house, and then - faced with the one thing standing in my way - I fled. I thought about this as I sped along in the silence. That was when all the hurt had joined the anger. I didn't want to hurt her, I cared so much about her - that I was willing to leave - to let her have her Jacob. I would call her and tell her not to worry about me, encourage her to go back for college like she had planned. I would cut her loose, just be a friend (yeah, right) - especially because I knew Alice would hate to lose her as a friend because of me.

Of course - I also had a large amount of pride - and I wasn't willing to be someone's second choice - or a distraction. I was amazed that I had been so off about her feelings. She had sure seemed interested when we were together., and the things she had told Alice backed all of that up. Maybe seeing Jacob had brought her feelings for him back? I realized then how little Bella had ever mentioned to me about Jacob. Most of what I knew had come from Alice. Maybe she hadn't been over him, maybe she didn't tell me because I was like the back up plan? My anger surged again and I worried for a moment about my mental state. It wasn't a big secret that I could have a really bad temper - but generally when I really lost it, it was warranted. Right now though, I felt like a yo-yo, going up and down - and each time the anger surged again, it was more than before.

I snapped back to reality when I realized I was already back - my crazy driving had cut half an hour off my drive. I silently wished that Jeff would be gone - not wanting to deal with him when I got back - not wanting to deal with anyone. Of course - the colossal fuck-up this day had become continued - and Jeff was plopped on the floor, video game controller in hand - he grinned widely as I entered.

"What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to go see that new little high school girl that's got you locking yourself in the bathroom every five minutes?" He didn't even look up from the screen.

"Jeff, you really need to just shut up. I just changed my plans - that's all." I worked to keep my voice even.

"Cool, come to that party with me tonight ."

"I'm not going to any party - I just need you to leave me alone - ok?"

Jeff looked up finally - and when he saw the look on my face - he put the controller down and frowned. "What's really going on? I've heard you talking to her every night - you don't just blow people off."

I had no intention of telling Jeff - and I opened my mouth to say so - but to my surprise - the truth spilled out. "I showed up at her house - and she was kissing some guy - he was all over her. I decided she's not worth it."

Jeff smiled.

"Alright! Ya know - I forgave you the crap with blondie - because she was just so fricking hot - but this girl - forget her. When are you going to realize that there are tons of girls here who would gladly let you in their pants - you especially. Hell, I have actually gotten laid just because girls knew I was your roommate. Forget her - come out with me tonight - get laid - you'll feel better about the whole thing."

He picked up the controller again and went back to his game - a satisfied smile on his face, as if it was all settled now.

I found myself yelling again - and as I headed over to my bed - I began chucking anything I could grab at the wall. I grabbed my gym bag and threw in a change of clothes and my sneakers. I left the room without looking back at Jeff. I decided to walk over to the gym - needing to clear my head.

As I had walked I tried to focus on the people and things I was passing. Trying my best not to let my mind wander to anything related to Bella. A group of attractive girls were talking near a bench. They had noticed me walking their way and were whispering to each other and stealing glances at me. One girl stepped away from the group and started walking towards me. I knew her from my Chemistry class, I believed her name was Ashley and she was always turning in her seat to smile at me - and bending over her desk so I could get a good view right down her shirt. She was pretty - but also generic. She was the kind of girl a guy would notice and think was cute - but five minutes later she would be forgotten. She had long hair that was probably some shade of brown - but was dyed blonde. Her eyes were a pretty shade of green - and she was wearing about ten pounds of mascara. She had a tiny butt, and a big chest- and I immediately wondered I they were real. I stopped as she approached me - welcoming the distraction.

"Hey Edward - I'm Ashley - I sit near you in Chemistry." She smiled and I could tell she was really hoping I would know who she was.

"Yes - I know. Three seats up to the right. You offered me your notes when I missed class a few weeks ago." She beamed - obviously pleased to be remembered.

She began playing with her hair, inching closer to where I was standing. My interest was already diminishing - I wanted to get back to walking.

"I heard you broke up with Rosalie. How are you doing?"

"Yeah - we broke up - I'm good." I added a smile - hoping she would get to her point.

"Are you doing anything tonight? Maybe we could meet up or something."

I ran a hand through my hair. I wasn't really interested - but a little seed had been planted earlier by Jeff. I wondered for a moment how Bella would feel if I let it slip to Alice that I had spent the night with this girl. Would she feel the kind of pain I was in right now? Would she care if she found out I was screwing some girl instead of visiting her on her birthday?

"My roommate told me about a party - I thought I might check that out - maybe I could meet up with you there." I couldn't believe I had actually said the words.

She was ecstatic. She gave me her number and told me to call later - and that she would meet me. I continued on my way - laughing inside as I watched her strut back to her friends who all seemed incredibly shocked by her luck. They had obviously been hanging on every word of our conversation. I couldn't believe that any part of me might actually agree with anything Jeff said - but maybe just maybe I did need to just get laid and get on with my life. Ashley certainly seemed willing.

I got to the gym and took out some of my anger as I lifted the free weights. I worked until I couldn't lift anything else - sweat pouring off of me - the muscles in my arms and shoulders burning as if they were on fire. I sat for a bit - and realized that nothing had helped so far. I was still mad - and the ache in my chest was worse now - as if it had expanded as time went on. I grabbed my I-pod and headed for the track. I ran for miles, realizing quite clearly that I couldn't just leave things this way with Bella. I had always done my best thinking while running - and I realized that the only reason I was having all of this pain was because I did care about Bella - loved her even. I had to talk to her - figure out what was going on. I wasn't going to call Ashley - and I laughed - relieved I had decided to run and actually come to my senses before taking any of Jeff's advice. That was a bullet dodged for sure. I realized then that I had no idea if Bella had ever slept with anyone. Part of me burned in anger again at that thought. Despite what I had seen - I still wanted her - still had a reaction in my body, just at the mere thought of her. I wanted to make her mine - I wanted to be the one to take her .

I couldn't run any farther. My legs and body beyond tired. I grabbed my water and headed out to the bench, needing the cool comfort of the night air.

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I got up from the bench - my sore body protesting the action. I was still thirsty - and I was pissed at myself for chucking my bottle. I needed a shower in the worst way - I was still soaked with sweat and I smelled beastly.

The hot running water felt excellent. I stood under the running stream as long as possible, knowing the gym would be closing in a little while. I dried myself and wrapped a towel around my waist - stopping to take a peak in the mirror - the muscles in my arms still pumped full of blood after their intense workout.

I had thought the locker room was empty - so I was a bit startled when a voice said, "Quit staring at yourself, Edward - you already know how pretty you are."

"Jasper? What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? That's a good question. The answer is - I was looking for your sorry ass. What the hell are you doing?"

I hesitated. Jasper was my best friend - and he was clearly annoyed at the moment.

"Bella and Alice are at my apartment. Edward - she knows what you saw - or what you think you saw anyway. She's been calling you nonstop. What the hell happened?"

Bella was here? Where was Jacob? What I thought I saw?

I sat on the bench near my clothes - suddenly not trusting my balance. Jasper's words were quite clear - yet I was having trouble understanding.

"What? She was kissing Jacob - I wanted to surprise her - so I snuck in to the house - she didn't see me - how did she know?"

"Look Edward - that girl is awesome - if I wasn't insanely in love with your sister - I'd be crazy over her myself. You need to get your act together right now - or she's going to walk. Jacob showed up - hoping to surprise her - and _he _kissed _her, _against her will. Her cousin Emmett and I were ready to tear him apart - but Bella insisted it was more of a misunderstanding. Of course that was after she had already clocked him in the jaw - I think she probably fractured a few of her knuckles. Your dad's going to need to look at her hand tomorrow."

"She hurt herself?" I was - without question - the world's biggest idiot. I should have grabbed Jacob - I wanted to run back - grab my keys and hunt him down. She was hurt - and he had forced himself on her. What on earth had I done?

"From what I hear she has a pretty mean punch - but Yes - her hand is pretty messed up. She's playing it off though - she wouldn't let anything stop her from trying to come find you. We ran into Jeff, who informed us that you had seen Bella 'all over some guy'. Someone needs to get that guy a leash - he tried to get Bella to leave with him - and then I almost rearranged his face when he started in on Alice again."

Could I have been more wrong? Was it humanly possible for me to make more mistakes today? Jeff had hit on Bella? Jacob might get a pass - because I might not be able to find him - but Jeff was going to be very sorry. In spite of the fact that all the things Jasper was saying were proving to me that Bella should tell me to go jump off a cliff - I felt hopeful for the first time since I had shown up at Bella's house.

"How did you know where to find me?" Of all the questions I should be asking - this is the one that popped into my head.

"I knew you'd be upset - and I know how you are with the running. You tend to gravitate here when you need to think. I took a chance. Would you throw some clothes on so we can get you back to Bella? She's really upset. Why didn't you call her back?"

"I turned my phone off after I called her. Is she mad at me?" She deserved to be. I should have protected her, defended her - been with her. My heart was wishing , beyond anything, that she would forgive me my stupidity.

"No - I don't think so. I think she should be - but she really just wants to see you - wants to explain what happened. She cares about you so much - it's obvious - her face lights up when she thinks about you. She thinks she's going to need to work to have you forgive _her_." He gave me a glare that told me I'd better quit hurting this girl that I clearly didn't deserve.

"I told her you have a big tendency to overreact. Get going already or I am going to haul you out of here in that towel!"

We were headed back to Jasper's apartment within five minutes. I knew I had to get a move on - Jasper and I were a pretty even match - and I didn't really want to beg Bella's forgiveness in a towel.

When we reached his apartment, I noticed it was 11:40. Maybe, just maybe - I could still kiss her for her birthday. It was a long shot - that much I knew - but it was still a shot. I wanted a little privacy to talk to her - without Alice hovering around. Jasper said he would send her down.

I waited anxiously - pacing back and forth in front of Jasper's car. There weren't even words to describe how screwed up this day had become. I have never had a day where my emotions were on such a roller coaster. Right now I was feeling relief - relief that Bella hadn't wanted to kiss Jacob - relief that I was going to see her - in moments. I was also feeling incredibly stupid for what had happened today - simply because I had overreacted so badly.

My thoughts and pacing were interrupted when I heard the door at the top of the steps crash open. Bella came running down the steps, her feet were bare as well as her legs - she was wearing my t-shirt - and if I hadn't seen the flash of her shorts as she'd run I would have thought the t-shirt was the only thing she was wearing. Her hair was flowing down around her shoulders and her cheeks were flushed a beautiful shade of pink. Her eyes were wide and looked as if they were wet - it broke my heart to think of her crying.

She stopped just short of where I was standing. I was desperate to wrap my arms around her, to press my lips against hers. I was absolutely in love with her.

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AN: This turned into a long chapter - hope you all enjoyed. I could never have Edward hook up with some nasty girl - sorry! Yes - Edward and Bella will have their kiss next chapter, Jeff will probably get that punch he so richly deserves - and as the story goes on - Bella and Edward are going to get decidedly more naughty. Thanks for reading!


	17. KISSING

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Disclaimer: Twilight - stories and related characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

AN: A little something for you all. I hope you like their first real kiss - the first of many to come. I intended to have some other things in this chapter - but got a little carried away with all the smooching. Dedicated - with a smile - to StarryNightT -thanks for the laughs!!

Chapter 17 K.I.S.S.I.N.G

(Bella)

I realized as I crashed through the door leading out to the street that I probably should have grabbed a sweatshirt or something. The air was a bit chilly outside and the wind had picked up a bit. It felt like it was going to rain. My body reacted to the cool air rushing against it - making it painfully obvious that I wasn't wearing a bra. I stopped running and stopped my body a few steps from Edward. My heart was screaming at me to keep going - to crash right into him - to kiss those lovely lips - before he has a chance to walk away. My brain told me to wait - I didn't even know if Jasper had explained anything - was he still angry?

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, hoping Edward wouldn't notice. A small smile turned up the corners of his mouth - and I knew he had. I looked into his face then, and had to take a breath. It was simply unreal how beautiful he was. There wasn't any other word - yes, he was sexy and handsome and rugged and mouthwatering - but all together he was absolutely beautiful. My mind did him no justice whatsoever. As I stared - I was struck again with the image of Rosalie's perfection - and felt a pang of unworthiness. The breeze blew his wonderful smell to me. I wondered if it was his cologne , or just his general 'Edwardness' - I wanted that smell all over me - on my clothes, my skin, in my hair - I wanted to know if he tasted as good as he smelled. His hair was damp, hanging in his face again, his green eyes surveying my face with interest. I wasn't lying when I had said it to Alice - I was in love with him - as impossible as that seemed to me - it was the truth.

At the same moment - we both began to speak. "I'm sorry," we both said.

He grinned - I wondered why he was sorry.

"May I go first?" I asked. My voice was shaking slightly.

He shook his head 'no' and stepped toward me - closing the distance. He held his hand out to me and I placed mine in it. He held it gently - bringing it closer to his face - examining the redness and swelling that were still apparent.

"You hurt yourself," he said simply. His eyes were troubled. I shrugged.

"It's not so bad now." Liar. It did feel good to have him touch me though - my whole body was aware of him.

He closed his eyes and let out a breath as he shook his head. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again. Then he pulled my hand up near his mouth and kissed it gently- barely grazing my skin. He kissed over every knuckle, and then gently rubbed my hand along the length of his cheek. He turned my hand over and kissed the tip of each finger - and then my palm. He lowered my injured hand, continuing to cradle it in his own - my small hand lost in his much larger one - the warmth of his skin tingling over mine.

I found my voice, and after a shaky breath began to speak.

"I know what it might have looked like - but Jacob showed up to surprise me for my birthday. He seemed to think I'd want to kiss him - he is persistent if nothing else - I pulled away - I swear I didn't kiss him back. I know how I would have felt if I was in your place - and I am so sorry for what you saw - or the pain it caused you. I wish you had stayed - I wish I could have explained this to you hours ago. I'm so sorry." I could feel my eyes beginning to tear. I stopped talking and quickly wiped the back of my free hand over my eyes. This was not the time to have a crying jag.

Edward stepped closer again. We were only inches apart now. It was hard to concentrate on anything, to even form a coherent thought when he was so near. My brain somehow registered that there were only a few more minutes left to my birthday. I wanted him to kiss me so badly.

When he spoke again, his warm breath fanned my face. He smelled like mint and water - fresh, clean and cool - despite the warm feel. I involuntarily licked my lips.

"Bella, I am sorry that Jacob kissed you against your will, I am sorry that I let you get hurt - instead of stepping in - I should have protected you. I overreact sometimes - but only over things that really matter to me. You'll see much more of that I'm sure - because I plan on being around every chance I get- every minute of time you will spare for me. I have a lot of things I want to tell you about - but here is the problem: there is a beautiful girl I know - she is stunning really - and she really doesn't have any idea how desirable she is (_he smiled that amazing crooked grin - and I was worried I'd topple over right onto the sidewalk_), and it's her birthday - and I was supposed to give her a kiss. It's kind of silly really - because I should be giving her a gift for her birthday - but she wants to give me one by allowing me to touch her amazingly luscious lips (_keep breathing Bella, in out in out_). But time is running out - and if I keep talking I'll miss the chance - and her birthday will be over. I really don't want to disappoint her though - because I am kind of crazy about her - and her happiness means everything to me." As he spoke he continued to inch closer. His voice was nearly a whisper - low and seductive. He released my injured hand and slipped one of his arms around me - his hand open against my back. The gentle warmth and pressure igniting my senses.

He pulled me closer. I brought my hands up slightly in front of me, and as they reached out they found purchase in the soft fabric of his shirt, I twisted them into the material and pulled him to me - closing any gap that remained between our bodies. My heart was pounding - a sumptuous warmth was spreading down from my belly button, raw heat emanating from between my thighs - this man would be my undoing.

He placed his warm palm against my cheek, gently caressing with his thumb. I tilted my face up to look into his eyes - they were blazing with determination and desire. The air around us seemed to crackle in anticipation of this moment.

As he lowered his head down to mine, I closed my eyes. His lips met mine, gently at first - and as I began to move mine against them, he increased the pressure. My first thoughts about Edward had been right - he was an incredible kisser. Our lips moved together perfectly. He slid his tongue over my lower lip, sinfully slow. He drew my full bottom lip into his mouth, sucking at it gently, grazing it with his teeth before releasing it. His lips crashed into mine again, parting slightly as did my own. He continued his sweet, tender torture as he slowly slid his tongue into my mouth - I caressed it with my own - gasping at the taste of him. We didn't break the kiss - it wasn't urgent or frenzied - it was explosive and I felt that there was no possible way that anyone could have been kissed like this before. Our lips explored the new landscape being offered, our tongues, caressing, entwining, tasting. His hand slid down my cheek - resting gently now above my collar bone - my skin burning at his touch.

I heard a faint beep - and Edward pulled back slightly - I could feel his smile.

"I made it." He winked at me and gestured to his watch - it had just turned to 12:00.

I was still a bit breathless. "That was the best birthday gift I have ever been given."

He chuckled softly. "Could I kiss you some more now - just because I want to?"

I leaned up towards him on my tiptoes, desperate for more of him. "Please," I pleaded.

"Anxious are we?" Yes Edward -I want you and I am anxious!

"You have no idea." I pulled him down to me and kissed him again. His lips were so soft pressed against mine. He was so gentle- treating me like I would break in his hands. I wanted him to kiss me hard, I wanted to pour all the lust I felt into his mouth.

I was startled out of the kiss as big drops of rain began falling from the sky. It began steadily raining almost instantly. I could feel my shirt soaking through and Edward's hair was already saturated. Suddenly, nothing in this whole world seemed sexier than being pressed up against Edward, kissing those lips, as the heavens poured down on us.

I stepped back slightly, Edward releasing his grip on me reluctantly. The rain was running down my cheeks and neck. I glanced down - my shirt was nearly see-through at this point - I looked like I had just competed in a wet t-shirt contest. I looked up to find Edward enjoying the view. I didn't blush - this knowledge simply served to make me hotter than I was before - let him stare all he wants.

"Edward, remember when I told you that I appreciate that you're such a gentleman - but that I could handle more." I stared up at him as I spoke, reaching my hands up to twine them in his wet hair.

Edward smiled slightly -and then attacked. He pulled me close - no air could have passed between our bodies. His mouth ran up and down the length of my neck. He licked the water that was running down my neck - causing me to shiver with delight. He encircled my waist with his hands edging them up under the wet fabric of my shirt. He lapped up the little pool of water that had formed in the hollow of my throat. My hair was dripping, soaking strands matting to my face. Edward's lips met mine with fevered passion, his tongue forcing entry, dominating.

As we were lost in our passion, Edward had been edging us back so that I came to rest up against the wall of the building. He continued to kiss me hard - pushing up against me, allowing me to feel all the hard lines of his body. I reached up and raked my nails down his chest, the hard ridges of all his muscles clearly visible through his now transparent shirt.. I brought my lips to his neck, his intoxicating scent mingling with the freshness of the rain. I worked my way up to his ear, gently licking the lobe as I moaned quietly into his ear. His grip on my waist tightened, his fingers curling slightly on the band of my shorts.

Time stopped. We made out with abandon as the rain washed over us. It was raw and frenzied and purely passionate. If I had ever doubted the existence of chemistry between two people - I didn't doubt it now.

The problems of the night were forgotten. Lost in a storm of emotion. Washed away in the rain that ran down our bodies. Unfortunately, kissing Edward had done little to assuage the desire I felt for him - instead it opened the floodgates - and just as the torrent of rain washed over us - I knew with certainty I would never get enough of him.

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Thanks for reading. Review if you'd like. ;)


	18. Poor Jeff?

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Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight stories and characters.

AN: Glad you all seemed to enjoy the kissing. There is a little naughty in this chapter as well - it is rated M for a reason - if that's not your thing - feel free to skip it.

Chapter 18

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(Edward)

I distinctly felt something soft and shapely pushing up against me. I was quite sure that was not part of the dream I had been having. I had been dreaming about Bella in a soaking wet t-shirt. There was absolutely nothing left to the imagination and the wet material clung to her like a second skin. It was a very good dream. My eyes were still closed. I felt a bit unsure of my whereabouts. I felt squished, and sore - as if I had been sleeping in a very awkward position. I felt it again, a very pleasing pressure against my body. I opened my eyes slowly. It was still pretty dark, only the slightest tinge of grey light could be seen coming through the window. It had to be just before dawn.

I was lying on Jasper's couch. Bella was sleeping in my arms, her thick tumble of brown hair cascading over the edge of the couch. She stirred in her sleep, and her exquisite backside rubbed hard against me - creating a delicious friction in a very desirable location. Like most men, certain parts of my anatomy were always "up" and ready to greet the new day. Bella was positioned so that she rubbed against my hardness. She had no idea what she did to me - even in her sleep. She stopped moving - to my dismay - and sighed contentedly. I buried my face in her hair and breathed her in.

As I pulled her tighter into my arms, the events of last night flooded back to me. She had forgiven me. I was able to give her that kiss she asked for, for her birthday - and then… I smiled at the thought of what occurred next. It was simple reckless abandon - and I loved every second of it. We had finally headed back into the apartment, Bella shielded against me so she wouldn't give Alice and Jasper a show. When we were in dry clothes, she placed herself in my lap, and we spent the remainder of the night hanging out with my sister and Jasper. We laughed and talked. It felt so perfect to have her in my arms. I felt like a man who had been starving, and then when he is given some food he can't get enough. I was so starved to touch her, kiss her, be in her very presence - I couldn't stop . When Alice and Jasper finally headed in to bed - Bella and I had laid down on the couch . We talked for a while and cleared the air on a variety of subjects - including Rosalie and Jacob. When I could see that Bella was fighting to stay awake, I settled her into my arms and kissed her goodnight. And what a damn fine kiss it was, kissing her was a full body experience for me, the sensation reaching all the way to my toes. It was beyond amazing. I hummed the piece I had been working on to her as her eyes drifted shut. It pleased me to no end that she was content and peaceful in my arms. Only hours earlier I never would have believed this is how I would be going to bed tonight. When I had stooped humming, her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled at me.

"What was that? That you were humming? It was beautiful." She was already drifting back into sleep.

"It's a song I wrote, for you." I was glad to tell her, glad to finally have someone know about the piece that I had been working on - that was so close to my heart.

She smiled softly, her eyes closed. She turned slightly away, pushing her head deeper into the pillow.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered before sleep fully took her over.

I stared - stunned. I knew she wouldn't hear me - but I said it anyway.

"I love you too, Bella. With all of my heart."

My train of thought was disrupted as Bella turned in my arms. Her chest pressed against mine and I loved the feel of her, her curvy feminine body, soft and warm against me. Her pouty red lips were too tempting, and I leaned down to press mine against them. I was pleasantly surprised when she began responding to my kisses, almost immediately. I pulled back and asked her if she was really awake.

"Yes, I am. And you can wake me like that anytime you want to."

She leaned in to me and our kisses deepened. I was eager to taste her mouth again. Her hands slid up under my shirt and I let out an actual growl. Bella giggled against my lips and made a quiet comment that had something to do with me being an animal. As I feathered kisses up her neck, I thought that her name of Swan was appropriate - her neck was long and graceful, the skin of it smooth and hot under my lips. I twined my fingers into her glossy hair, beginning my assault on her lips once again. The pajama bottoms I had borrowed from Jasper were hanging low on my hips. Bella's warm hands glided over the top of my hip bone that was peeking out of the pants. Her fingers eventually stopped their exploration when they found the patch of skin below my belly button, snaking and twining in the patch of fine hair leading down from there. My brain kept saying "just a little lower, honey - keep going" - but I didn't speak those desires out loud.

There was a question burning in my mind. I still didn't know if Bella had ever been with another man. Was she a virgin? It seemed crass to think it, but she didn't exactly move like one - she seemed to know exactly what to do to make me beyond crazy. If she was a virgin, she certainly had some pretty hot tricks up her sleeve.

"Bella," I whispered into her ear, my voice husky with desire. "Have you ever, um, have you ever.." I wanted to kick myself. I wanted desperately to know, but I didn't know a polite way to ask, and her hands were so dangerously close to my erection that I couldn't really think properly.

"Have I ever what, Edward?" She stared into my eyes as she asked, playfulness evident there - as if she knew what I was getting at, but enjoyed making me squirm. The tip of her index finger dipped ever so slightly under the waistband of my bottoms, and I squirmed in earnest. "Have I ever what, Edward?"

She was evil. I loved her.

"Have you ever had sex before, Bella?" I blurted the question out, displeased by how vulgar the sentence sounded.

She looked up at me, and I was flooded with a sense of relief when she breathed the word, "No."

I smiled broadly as I leaned in to kiss her again, but she pulled back, away from me.

"That's quite the smile you're wearing. Did you think that was an invitation Edward? What makes you think I'll let you be the one to steal my virtue?" Her eyes flooded with desire as she spoke these words. I wrapped my hands around her waist and kissed her waiting lips.

Maybe because you love me, Bella? Maybe, because your body is definitely saying something different than your mouth? Maybe, because this isn't just some silly fling - this is real, maybe even forever.

These were the replies my brain came up with.

She had said I don't always have to be a gentleman, and I saw last night how clearly that turned her on. I decided to take that approach again. I rolled Bella so her back was flat against the cushions, pinning her with my body. I nudged her knees apart, and while I licked passionately at her tongue, I nestled myself between her thighs, being sure she could feel every inch of my throbbing length pressed against her. As she moaned and arched her back slightly I removed my mouth from hers.

I kissed along her jaw, and when I reached her ear, I said, in my most seductive voice, "You will be mine, Bella."

We were interrupted then by Jasper, wandering through to the kitchen. He had a hand half over his eyes, acting as if he wasn't looking at us. I immediately pulled myself up into a sitting position, placing Bella's legs over my lap.

We heard cabinets opening and water running. Jasper called out in a raspy voice, "Carry on. Don't mind me, I am completely oblivious until I've had some coffee anyway."

Bella looked over at me and rolled her eyes. She started to get up, but surprised me by settling into my lap first. She turned to straddle me, bringing one of her knees to rest on either side of my thighs. She rocked up and down against me twice, and I nearly came all over myself. I couldn't believe she would be so bold, with Jasper in the next room and Alice liable to come out at any moment. I couldn't even have cared in that moment. I grabbed a handful of couch cushion in each hand, willing myself to stay in control. I closed my eyes as she nibbled and licked her way up my neck.

She whispered, just loudly enough for me to hear.

"I may be a virgin Edward, but I'm not an innocent little girl."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she was off of my lap and closing the bathroom door behind her.

Jasper wandered out of the kitchen a minute later. He was wearing a knowing smile, and placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of me. He seemed to know it would be a bit awkward for me to stand at the moment. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed two more cups. One for Alice and one for himself.

"Good morning?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he smirked.

I just nodded, a stupid grin on my face.

He laughed quietly. "Excellent!" he said. Then he headed back to his room to wake up Alice.

I headed back to my dorm room while Bella showered. I needed to get my car so that I could bring her back home. Alice and Jasper were spending the day here. I was anxious to meet Bella's parents and to spend some time alone with her. I wasn't thrilled about heading up to my room. I was still extremely pissed at Jeff for just being a dick in general - but I also didn't want to walk in to find one of his nightly visitors in our room.

I opened the door quietly, relieved that Jeff seemed to be asleep and alone. I gathered up some clothes and my keys. As I was about to head back out the door, Jeff sat up. As I turned to look at him, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Jeff's nose was clearly broken. It was bent slightly, swollen and there was still some blood crusted at the end of his nostrils. His left eye had dark bluish bruises under it radiating from the edge of his nose. Someone had beaten his face pretty good, he looked awful. I wondered for a moment if Jasper had gone back to find Jeff last night before he came looking for me. As much as I had wanted to do this to Jeff, I felt kind of bad looking at him now.

"Where were you last night? Did you get some?" He mumbled a bit - he sounded horribly nasally.

I could not believe he would ask that given his current state.

"I stayed at Jasper's. I met up with Bella later in the night."

He gave me a strange look. "Bella? Why are you wasting time with her? I met her last night, ya know. I wasn't that impressed. Your sister looked hot though."

Was he looking to get punched again? Unbelievable.

"Yeah, she told me. I guess you were impressed enough to ask her to leave with you , though, right?"

He shrugged. "I didn't say she didn't look like she'd be a good time. And high school girls can be really willing to please - I figured it was worth a shot."

Yes, he evidently was looking for another beating. I noticed how tensed my hands were at my sides, my jaw set as well.

"What happened to your face?"

He felt up and touched his face carefully. He needed to get to a doctor.

"I ran into another one of your friends last night." Oh, crap - had Jasper really gone back and beat Jeff senseless?

"Does the name Ashley ring a bell? Tiny, pretty eyes, bottle blonde?"

Ah. Ashley, the girl I had made tentative plans with last night. Did Jeff piss off whoever she wound up with last night too? He really made the rounds.

"Yeah. I know Ashley. What happened?"

"Well, she was asking around at this party last night, asking around for you. I figured I'd use my charm and offer to help her find you as I am your roommate and all. It's worked out well for me in the past. So she got annoyed when I wouldn't let up and she started leaving. I followed her, I didn't know if I could get her to change her mind - sometimes girls like it when you're persistent. Well, little Ashley, it turns out, helps instruct a women's self-defense class. She freaked out when I followed her out the door, kneed me - and then punched me so hard in the face that I literally saw stars. What the hell? You know how to pick them, don't you?"

I was having a really hard time keeping a straight face. He had his face rearranged by that small girl! And he told me, no shame, no embarrassment. Then somehow I have something to do with it because I know her? He was truly an idiot.

"Ashley did that to your face?" I had to be sure I heard him right.

"Yes. It hurts like hell. I thinks it's broken."

"Maybe if you didn't treat girls like crap all the time, this wouldn't have happened."

"I don't treat girls like crap. At least I don't before they put out." Jeff lay back down on the bed, pulling his blankets over him.

I just shook my head. He deserved the broken nose. I owed Ashley an apology - and a compliment on her fine work.

Ten minutes later, I was back in Jasper's kitchen. I had just told them Jeff's story, and Jasper was laughing so hard that he didn't seem to be breathing. His face was bright red.

Between gasps for air he said, "I can't believe he just came out and told you that some girl drilled him in the face. I would have paid money to see that."

Alice was glad Jeff got what was coming his way, especially as it saved Jasper or myself from getting our hands dirty. She wanted to shake Ashley's hand.

We said our goodbyes and I led Bella out to my car. I held the door for her, kissing her quickly before she sat down. Just before we pulled away, I grabbed the package I had for her birthday and placed it in her lap. She looked surprised, she had said no gifts - but she looked pleased all the same.

"It looks so pretty. Did you wrap it?" The gift was wrapped in pink floral paper with lots of silver ribbons.

"Yes, I actually did. As you can imagine, I still haven't heard the end of it from Jasper or Jeff."

"Thanks. You really did a nice job, quite fancy with all those ribbons." The corners of her mouth were twitching. She was going to tease me too. Nice.

"Enough about my wrapping skills. Open it!"

She carefully slipped off the ribbons and tore the paper. She opened the box and looked inside. I hoped she would understand the gift, why I had given it to her.

She lifted each item out, her smile growing wider as she examined each one. There was a mug, decorated with little swans floating on a lake. A box of hot chocolate mix, and a leather bound collection of Jane Austen classics. At the bottom of the box was a note in an envelope. She pulled it out and read it silently.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_In the few weeks that I have known you, you have changed my life. I have fallen hard and fast, head over heels for you. Your quiet spirit, kindness, warmth and sincerity shine from you, calling to me like a beacon in a storm. Meeting you felt familiar, like coming home - and yet somehow - deep inside I feel like you've always been with me. I gave you this gift because you once told me that if I wanted you to be truly happy, all you'd need was a mug of hot chocolate and a good book. I hope you will consider this a little box of happiness, from me to you. I hope you will consider it a promise that I will always do everything in my power to make you happy, truly happy. You deserve all the happiness and good things life has to offer._

_Happy Birthday Bella._

_Love Edward_

I watched her face, hoping to judge her reaction. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and turned her face to me.

"Thank you so much, Edward. That was so thoughtful, and your note was so beautiful. I hope that you know, that since I met you - I have been amazingly happy."

We stopped at a red light. She leaned up to me and I kissed her waiting lips, with all the tenderness and love that I felt in my heart.

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Thanks so much for reading!


	19. Meet the Parents

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Disclaimer: Twilight related characters and stories are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 19 Meet the Parents

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(Bella)

As we drove on toward my house I wondered again how we could seem so close after having only known each other for such a short time. We had so much to talk about, and when we were quiet, it was comfortable silence - not awkward. I thought about the birthday gift he had given me, and the note that came with it. My heart fluttered a bit wildly. It had been the perfect gift, he seemed like the perfect guy. I reached down and pinched myself, hard. I had to be dreaming, right? Ouch - nope - no waking up - just a nice welt on my arm. I realized I didn't care. He wanted to be with me, I certainly wasn't going to tempt fate by wondering why.

When we pulled up in front of my house, Edward stopped in mid-sentence - his jaw tightening in anger.

He pointed to the little Volkswagen parked behind my jeep.

"Is that Jacob's car? Is he still here?"

When I had talked to my mom this morning, she had promised she would try to get him to leave before we got back. Obviously, things hadn't turned out that way.

"Yes, it is. He must have hung around. Look, Edward - I know you are really angry about what happened - but Jacob really didn't see it the way we did. He thought he was going to get us back together - remind me of what we had before. My hand is okay - please don't be too upset with him. I want to be with you Edward."

I leaned over and kissed him then. I think he knew it was intended as a distraction - but it didn't dampen his enthusiasm. He slid his warm hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. He quickly deepened the kiss, and I parted my lips, granting his tongue the access it was looking for. Edward's soft, warm lips were like a drug. I wanted more of them - all over me. As if he knew what I hadn't asked, he released my mouth and began kissing down my neck. I was in no hurry to head inside. He released my neck and slid his hand down to my thigh. He caressed my thigh gently, his fingertips grazing dangerously close to where I wanted to be touched the most.

I moaned quietly, lost in the gentle touch of his hand and lips. The burning feeling in the pit of my stomach surging to life. He nuzzled my ear and began whispering to me, how beautiful he thought I was, how badly he wanted to kiss me, how good it felt to be pressed against me this morning, to have me sleep in his arms.

I was about to crawl over to his seat and place myself in his lap - when a loud knock on my window quickly broke us apart. I blushed furiously before I turned to the window - I hadn't wanted this to be my parents' first impression of Edward. My dad wasn't always levelheaded when it came to boys. Jacob tended to be an exception, simply because our fathers had spent many hours fishing together. Somehow that gave Jacob a pass that my father hadn't extended to anyone else I had dated.

Edward glared out the window, before turning forward and gripping the steering wheel hard - his knuckles turning white. "What the hell is his problem?" he muttered under his breath.

As I turned to face the window, I already knew who would be standing there. Jacob was standing just outside of my door. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and he was smiling wickedly. Maybe he did have a death wish?

I turned to Edward, wanting to assess what sort of mood he was in. He had regained his composure and was smiling tightly at me.

"Don't worry Bella. I'll play nice." He leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on my cheek, taking great care to make the moment incredibly intimate. I shook my head slightly as he exited the car - sure, he was going to play nice.

Edward nudged Jacob out of the way as he rounded to my door to open it for me. When I was out of the car, Edward quickly looped his arm around my waist, possessively.

"What are you still doing here Jake? I thought you were leaving this morning?"

Edwards fingers had nudged the fabric of my shirt up ever so slightly. His thumb was now carving small arcs into my skin. It was sinfully distracting. Jacob's eyes flashed down to Edward's hand and he frowned.

"I felt bad about yesterday, and I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. It was stupid of me to come - I never meant to hurt you."

His face was pained . I placed my hand gently over Edward's, holding it in mine as I adjusted my shirt. I wasn't a prize to be fought over. In fairness to Jacob, he really didn't understand. In fairness to Edward, he had captured my heart completely. I needed to smooth this over, quickly, before I hurt them both even more.

"Edward, this is Jacob. He was a good friend of mine," I felt bad at saying was. "I mean - he is a good friend." I stressed the word friend.

Edward let me go, and extended his hand.

"Edward Cullen. I'm Bella's boyfriend." He shook Jacob's hand, and I had hope that we might actually get through this without incident.

"Jacob Black. I used to be Bella's boyfriend." Okay - maybe not.

They were staring each other down. Edward was taller, and definitely more muscular than Jacob. Jake was slightly shorter - but at the moment - he looked a whole lot meaner. Time to intervene.

I walked forward a bit.

"Jacob, can I talk to you for a minute?" I exchanged a look with Edward, and he stepped back and leaned against his car, occupying himself with the grass growing in our lawn.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I know why you came, I do. I never expected to meet Edward, to actually like living here. You know how hard it was for me at first. I never meant to hurt you either."

"It's okay Bella. You did say that we needed to break it off when you moved. Sometimes I only hear what I want to. I can see that it's over. I'll go now. I will miss you Bella."

"That seemed too easy Jake. You're really just bowing out - driving off into the sunset?"

"Do you really want me to say it, Bella." I was confused by his response - say what?

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, I loved you - really I did. Before we even started dating I cared about you. I wanted to have the chance to say goodbye - and I am glad I did, because I needed to see it. "

"You needed to see what?"

Jacob closed his eyes tightly for a moment - drawing in some deep breaths.

"The way you look at him, Bella. No matter how much I cared about you - you never looked at me like that. And the way you were kissing him - believe me - that was not how you kissed me. I can see what he means to you. I saw it last night, when you were so upset that he didn't show up. I just needed to be sure. That was why I stayed. I'm big enough to let you go. You weren't mine anymore, anyway."

I hugged him quickly. "You can keep in touch - we are still friends, right?"

He stepped away from me. "We'll see."

He crossed the yard to where Edward was. He held his hand out again. Edward shook it quickly. My boys were playing nice, and I was lucky to know either of them.

"It was nice to meet you Edward. Take good care of her, okay. She deserves it."

Edward's face registered a flicker of surprise. But he recovered quickly.

"Same here. And I will take good care of her. I know how special she is."

Jacob said goodbye and drove away.

I stared for a moment at Edward, a bit disbelieving that it had all gone so smoothly. Edward laughed at my reaction and leaned down to ruffle my hair.

"What? I told you I would be nice." He swept me up in his arms and kissed me gently. Then he grabbed my hand tightly and I led him into the house.

My parents were sitting in the living room. I wondered if they had been watching the scene outside, and the looks on their faces told me they probably had. They seemed as pleased as I was at how well Edward and Jacob handled themselves.

"Mom, Dad, this is Edward. Edward Cullen."

My dad shook his hand, "Nice to meet you, Edward."

My mother gave him a quick hug and then caught my eye as she said, "You're right Bella - he's even better looking in person."

Edward looked down - his cheeks turning pink. It was the sweetest thing I may have ever seen. My dad covered his eyes with one hand and shook his head. "Renee? !?"

My mom stepped back to my dad and kissed his cheek. "Don't be jealous dear."

We all laughed for a moment after that.

My dad roped Edward into some baseball talk, and I headed into the kitchen to help my mom finish dinner.

All in all the evening went very well. I was pleased that Edward still held my hand and gave me quick kisses - despite my parents' presence. Edward complimented my mom's cooking and raved about my dad's theater. He joined me in the kitchen after dinner to wash up the dishes. As I was standing at the sink rinsing dishes, he walked up and wrapped his arms tightly around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I think your parents like me."

"I know my parents like you. Especially my dad - and that is a pretty big feat to accomplish - let me tell you."

He turned his mouth, nibbling at my neck with his teeth. I gripped the counter, letting the water continue o run. I pushed back slightly, and my pulse quickened to feel him hard against my lower back. I quickly calculated the odds of getting him up to my room without my parents noticing. They weren't good.

At the sound of footsteps approaching, Edward stepped back quickly. I chuckled when I noticed that he had grabbed a towel and was holding it a bit conspicuously in front of himself.

When my mom came in to make some coffee, Edward retreated to talk to my dad some more - the television in the living room was blaring some sporting event.

"He certainly likes you, doesn't he, dear?"

I told her about the gift he had given me.

"Hot chocolate and a book? He's got your number! He is such a gentleman too. How was that kiss?"

I rolled my eyes, I knew I should never have told her about what I had asked him to give me for my birthday. I thought about our first kiss, how absolutely perfect the moment was, the feel of him gently sucking on my lower lip, the rain beginning to pour down.

I sighed. "It was amazing, perfect."

"I'd like to talk to you about some things later, when Edward leaves.." Great. This was going to be lots of fun.

"What, mom? We've already had plenty of talks about that kind of thing."

"I know Bella- but I am still your mom, and although I like the idea of being your friend also - I need to be your mom, and talk to you about some things later. I will make it as painless as possible, okay?"

I knew my mom wouldn't be swayed - especially when she had pulled the whole - 'I'm your mom' - card.

Too soon. Edward had to leave. The whole issue of him living at college was making me a bit crazy. I wasn't looking forward to not seeing him for a bunch of days again. It made my heart ache horribly. But, it was getting really late, and he still had a long drive back. I could sense he didn't want to be away from me either.

I walked him to his car after he had said goodnight to my mom and dad.

After kissing me goodbye, for what seemed like an eternity - but too quick at the same time, he got into his car and drove away. He promised to call me when he got back to his room.

I headed up to my room. I wanted to get into some pajamas before I had to deal with my mom. I flopped on my bed, feeling extremely depressed that Edward was gone. I was grateful that his semester would be ending soon, and then he would be able to see me every day.

I kicked my jeans off, leaving me in my t-shirt and undies. I was sorting through my draw for a tank-top when I heard something bang against my window. I jumped at the sound, and then I heard it again.

I pulled open my shade and looked out. The glare of the light on the window and the darkness outside made it impossible to see. I thought maybe I had imagined the sound and was going to turn and pull the shade again when it happened a third time. I opened my window and leaned towards the screen. In the large tree near my window, was Edward, calling my name quietly.

"Bella? Can you see me over here?" He was waving his hand at me. He had one arm around the trunk of the tree and his bottom placed on a solid branch. I laughed - completely amazed that he was in a tree outside my window.

"Let me turn out the light so I can see you better." I began heading for the switch when he called to me again.

"No, Bella - I can see you better with the light on, and I am really enjoying the view." I remembered I was changing and blushed fiercely.

"What are you doing out there?"

"I got a couple blocks away, and I had to come back and see you one more time. Then I felt dumb, thinking your parents' might think I was a fool. So, I remembered this tree and thought it might be romantic to climb it and throw little rocks at your window. It was more difficult than I had anticipated, I haven't climbed a tree since I was ten."

"You amaze me, Edward Cullen." He laughed quietly. I hoped he was holding on tight.

"Is there any way you can get into my room?" There was quite a big gap between the last spindly bits of the branch he was on and my window..

"No, I don't think so - and I'd really rather not fall and break my neck. What were you doing?"

I smiled, somehow - the fact that he was outside with no way of getting in made me bold.

"I was getting into some pajamas. In fact - I think I'll finish up."

I turned, making sure to sway my hips. I leaned in to grab a tank -top out of my drawer, being sure to prop my ass out. I walked back to the window, staring out at the dark shape in the tree. I stopped at the window and pulled my shirt over my head slowly. I heard Edward gasp, this was working quite well. I now stood in front of the window in my bra and underwear.

"Are you still enjoying the view Edward?" I said this while slipping my bra straps down my arms.

"Yes, I am."

I turned then and unhooked my bra, my bare back to Edward. I looked over my shouler at him, wondering exactly what he was thinking at the moment. I contemplated turning around, giving him a bit more to view - he'd pretty much seen it all in my wet t-shirt anyway. I decided against it. No point frustrating both of us.

I pulled on my tank -top, remaining in only my underwear and the little top. I knelt at the window.

"Bella Swan, you are such a tease." I heard Edward's voice say to me from the darkness.

"Oh no Edward. If I were a tease it would mean I have no intention of giving you what you want, and that's simply not the case." I purred to the night.

I heard Edward emit a low groan. I must have hit the mark with my words. I smiled innocently at the shape in the tree.

"Um, maybe I could try to get in your window." I laughed at his sudden eagerness to risk a broken neck.

My mom knocked on my door. I hopped up.

"Be right there, I'm getting my pajamas on."

I leaned to the window again. I could already hear Edward climbing down.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too Bella. I'll call you when I get to my room. Thanks for the show."

His quiet laugh faded as he hit the ground and ran out of the yard.

I pulled on some pants and went to find my mom, a huge smile stuck on my face. I couldn't wait to hear his voice when he called to wish me goodnight. Yes, this was love - and though I hadn't been looking - I was incredibly glad I had found it.

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As always - thanks so much for reading. I truly appreciate hearing from so many of you! Thanks!


	20. A Swallow is a Bird

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Disclaimer - characters and stories related to Twilight are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

AN: Thanks so much for reading - I thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts about this story. I fear this chapter is a bit of a turning point - you may love it or hate it after - hopefully not the latter. There is more to come (no pun intended).

To Starry Night - again - love your chats! And to the T Ms who've PM'd - thanks so much!

Chapter 20 - A Swallow is a Bird

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(Bella)

Dating Edward Cullen was an extremely enjoyable experience. I thought this as I sat on my bed, sliding my finger under the lip of the letter I had just received in the mail. We had been officially dating for almost three weeks, counting my birthday and our delicious first kiss as a starting point. In that time, I quickly discovered how it felt to be treated like a princess.

The day after Edward met my parents, I returned home from school to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table. My first thought was that my dad had sent them to my mom, he always did things like that after one of their special date weekends. When I looked at the card- I was surprised to find they were from Edward - and they were for my mom. There was a lovely message attached thanking her for dinner and expressing his appreciation for the opportunity to get to know her beautiful daughter better. It was so over the top that it completely bordered on being lame - but my mother ate it up. She raved about his kindness and sincerity so often at dinner that night, that my dad eventually pretended to gag every time Edward's name came up.

Of course, the next day, there was an even bigger and more spectacular arrangement of flowers for me. It's card simply stated - 'If Only Some Trees had Stronger Branches' - which confused my mother and made me blush . The blushing set my mother off with one of her looks that implied that she knew he was referring to sex in some way, and that I'd better be careful.

We talked every day on the phone. It was absolutely my favorite time of the day, and I had become obsessive about making sure my cell was on and charged just in case he ever called just to say "hi", which he did, often.

In addition to flowers and phone calls, Edward found wonderful little ways to let me know he was thinking of me. If I mentioned a book or CD I was interested in - it would be at my door the next day. He would call Alice and give her little messages to pass on to me at lunch, always causing me to smile at his thoughtfulness. Alice loved that I appreciated his sappy sentiments. She had been right when she had referred to him as an old soul. It felt like I was being courted, in a very old-fashioned sense, and it completely captured my heart. And Edward sent me letters. Actual, honest to goodness, stamp in the corner, postman drops in your mailbox, letters. These letters were my favorite of all of Edward's little displays of affection. Sometimes they had little to say that was romantic, they might just express his thoughts on something he'd learned in a class or something he'd found out while researching a paper. Sometimes they were a bit naughty, and I could feel myself blushing while reading them, quickly folding them and heading to my room to finish them in case my mom decided to try and read over my shoulder. And sometimes, Edward would just pour out his heart, writing me letters so achingly beautiful and romantic, that I had to stop and savor every word, immensely enjoying the feast of emotions. These were my favorite letters of all.

Today's letter was sinfully romantic, and when I had finished reading it I lay back on my bed, pressing the letter to my heart. I was tingling all over from his loving words, as if he were here with me, placing kisses all over my sensitive skin. I let out a contented sigh, and my mom appeared in my doorway. When she spied the letter she rolled her eyes and headed back out the door. As she headed down the stairs I heard her mutter something like, "That boy is unreal."

That was definitely the truth.

The only drawback to our relationship right now was the distance. Although it wasn't that far, it was far enough to keep our visits to the weekends for the time being. Edward had two weeks left, and he was busy writing up chem labs, researching papers, and preparing for finals - so we weren't granted any time together during the week. The past two weekends had been incredible, and the time apart only made us hotter for each other. When Edward would pull up at my house, I would be waiting outside for him, and he generally didn't get further than closing the car door, before I was covering him in kisses.

Last Saturday we spent the day hiking, he was very patient with my clumsy stumbling over every tree root and rock. We had a picnic lunch at the side of a small lake. When we were finished eating, he rested his head in my lap and closed his eyes. I spent countless minutes after that playing with his hair, marveling at the red tints that glinted in the sunlight. I let my eyes wander over his perfect features, and felt a strange sense of rightness, as if somehow this moment we were sharing was meant to be. It was too perfect to not seem predestined - as if some higher power had planned and plotted to make it so. Whatever it was, I was simply grateful. The next morning I headed downstairs, still groggy, but quite sure I had heard Edward's low soothing voice. Sure enough, he was sitting at the kitchen table with my parents. He had brought bagels and doughnuts - and was scoring extra points with my mom for having snagged her favorite hazelnut coffee. If he didn't quit it, I was going to be fighting her for him.

He looked up and smiled when he saw me. I realized how frumpy I was in my ratty bathrobe with my hair sticking out in ten different directions. I reached up to smooth it out, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious despite my pleasure at seeing him. He quickly came over to me, and kissed me chastely on the cheek (for my parents' benefit of course). We sat with my parents and ate, my father grateful for the doughnuts. My mom didn't often indulge his love of the fried goodness, so he took advantage of the opportunity - scarfing four glazed doughnuts down so quickly - I wasn't sure he'd even chewed. Edward was giving me a strange look all through breakfast, often coupled with his to-die-for crooked grin. I felt like I was melting each time I caught him looking at me.

My mom and dad had to head out , which left Edward and I with unprecedented 'alone time'. As soon as they were out the door - I grabbed Edward's hand and ran up the stairs to my room. When we reached the landing, Edward stopped and pushed me against the wall, kissing me fiercely. The fact that this is right where I was standing when Jacob had kissed me on my birthday was not lost on me. Edward was taking the moment to stake his claim, to mark me as his. My urgent response to his kiss was my reply to his silent demand. He scooped me up and laid me on my bed, leaning down over me, allowing me to experience the sumptuous weight of his body.

"I love how you look when you wake up in the morning." He sighed into my hair. "I love when your hair is all messy, and your skin is so warm and soft."

I arched against him, his hands following the curve of my hips.

"You even smell like sleep." He said this as he skimmed his nose up my neck, inhaling deeply.

I slid my hand under his t-shirt, anxious to caress the hard lines that the thin fabric hinted to. His skin was so warm to the touch - overheated even.

He groaned at my touch and dipped his hips down, pushing my body down into the mattress.

"I was desperate to see you like this, to feel your warm skin, to breathe you in. I wanted to jump you during breakfast - but I don't think your parents would have liked that." I moaned softly under him, pulling his lips to mine - anxious to taste his mouth.

The minutes passed slowly, every touch and caress leaving an imprint on my mind.

When we heard the front door opening - and the voice of my mom calling up the stairs (I had to give her credit for her tact - I knew it was her subtle way of saying - 'we're back - so get yourselves decent' ), Edward quickly pulled his shirt back on - and I grabbed for my bottoms which had been tossed in a heap on the floor. I peaked up at Edward nervously after I had my bottoms back on. I sort of felt like I had been saved by the bell. Not that I didn't want to be with Edward - I did - desperately, but I also knew I wasn't ready just yet. Edward took my hand and kissed it gently. He pulled me close in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I hope I didn't push you too far. We'll go slow - okay. We don't need to rush anything, I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't be sorry. I'm only getting what I asked for - after all the teasing I've put you through. I do want you, Edward."

"I'm all yours."

I kissed him tenderly. I'm sure he had probably seen through my silly bravado, and I was glad he didn't hold it against me. I liked the idea that he would let me set the pace - slow would be okay for right now - but I would definitely be ready for more - very soon.

This Saturday, Edward, Jasper, Alice and I were going out for the day. The prom was coming up, and Alice, of course, had her dress, shoes, jewelry, underwear…everything - waiting in her closet. I, on the other hand - did not even have a dress. Alice decided we would go out and get me a dress - dragging the boys along - promising them dinner and a movie when we were finished. I did need a dress, and the fact that I could get one and still get to be with Edward gave the idea some merit. I was looking forward to hanging out with Jasper again as well - I hadn't seen him since my birthday.

I drove to Alice's Saturday morning. I was sleeping over with Alice after our shopping trip. My mother reminded me of our little talk before I left. Essentially the finer points were that she was way too young to become a grandmother, I was well aware of all the choices for protection - should the need arise - and I had darn well better be smart enough to choose wisely, and the old standard "you have so much to offer - you don't need to rush into anything". This session of "embarrass Bella" ended with my mother reminding me that I was staying over the Cullen's to be with Alice - and that it would be disrespectful to their parents if I got into mischief. I had already intended to behave myself by spending the night with Alice. She was as eager to spend the night snuggled up to Jasper as I was to be with Edward - but her parents had given pretty firm instructions that the boys and girls were to sleep in separate quarters. We had resolved to make the best of it and spend the night gossiping and being girly - something we hadn't had a chance to do the past few weeks.

I was thrilled as I pulled up the Cullen's long driveway, to find Edward, anxiously waiting on the porch. He ran for my door as soon as I was parked, climbing half inside to get to me - instead of waiting for me to get out. It was a very pleasant welcome.

We took two cars when we headed out. Alice rode with Jasper and I climbed into the Volvo with Edward. His car always amazed me. It was so clean and shiny and even though it was a few years old - it still smelled brand new. It was obvious that he loved his car and took good care of it. I always felt like I was going to make it messy, afraid to eat or drink anything in it. He said I was being silly - but I could just imagine his face if I accidentally dumped my chocolate shake down his leather seats. With my amazing ability to spill things - this was not outside the realm of possibility.

Alice didn't feel I should trust the mall as a place for getting a dress. She promised if I did that, I would be wearing the same dress as the rest of the senior class - and this was to be avoided at all costs. Instead we met at a little boutique twenty minutes from the mall. Alice was right of course, and the store held many beautiful dresses, and was so out of the way - I couldn't imagine many other girls knowing of it. Alice was a genius when it came to the selection as well - she let Edward give her some ideas of the dresses he liked - and then she sent the two of them packing so my choice would be a surprise. Alice favored a deep blue number that was all layers of chiffon, fitted through the waist, with flowing sleeves. It was pretty and did look good on me - but it was a bit too much in my opinion. I finally settled on a black, strapless dress that was fitted from the chest through the hips - and then flared out a bit to my ankles. Alice found a great corset in the boutiques frilly lingerie section - and worn under the dress - my waist was incredibly tiny - and the way it pushed up my chest was nothing short of miraculous. I loved this dress and I had a sneaking suspicion Edward would be speechless when he saw me in it. Thankfully, Alice agreed, and we grabbed the dress and corset. I also grabbed an almost non-existent pair of black lace panties that matched the corset. Alice eyed my purchase knowingly, stifling a giggle when I shot her a dirty look.

We found our fellas wandering an almost deserted old record store. They actually sold old records, and the place smelled like a musty old garage. Edward looked like he was in heaven. He was digging through a pile of records that were all classical piano concertos. He explained that some of the titles he had seen in the pile couldn't be found anywhere but on old vinyl albums. We left the store with a small pile of albums. As we walked back to our car he briefly explained the significance of his choices, and I enjoyed the way he let me in to his private passions. He enjoyed his music the way I enjoyed books.

Our next stop was the mall. I needed shoes and Alice suggested some additions to my make-up bag for the prom. Once we reached the mall, we split from the guys again - Jasper begged for mercy, pleading to be left out of the shoe shopping. Remembering the amount of time Alice can take in a shoe store, I really couldn't blame him. I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward before he headed off. I hadn't spent as much time with him as I had been planning. I knew I needed a dress, and I did want it to be a surprise - but I craved to be with him.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear after kissing him heartily on the lips.

"And I love you, you wonderful creature. By the way, Alice mentioned your dress is amazing - but what will be underneath is even more incredible. I hope I'll get the chance to see." He kissed me lightly on my neck and walked away then - not even glancing back. I was just standing there with my mouth open. Yes, he was unbelievable. So was Alice.

When the guys turned a corner and were out of sight - I turned on her.

"What did you tell him?"

She tried to look innocent - it wasn't working. "I simply said he would love the dress you picked out."

"And?" I knew that wasn't all she had said.

"And, I may have mentioned the sexy combo that you'll be sporting underneath."

"Why?"

"Because Bella, for the next week he is going to do nothing but imagine what exactly you might have on under your dress. When he finally sees you next Saturday he is going to be completely crazed, and he will be putty in your hands. Not that he isn't already, but a girl can never have too many advantages."

I had to hand it to her, she was very good.

We found great shoes pretty quickly and the other items on Alice's list. I was so anxious to get back to Edward that I just nodded and agreed to all the items she suggested. Alice called Jasper and told them to meet us at the theater. When we rounded the corner and saw them standing there waiting for us, we let out identical sighs, and then looked at each other and laughed. We also noticed a group of girls passing them, obviously staring and trying to flirt. Edward and Jasper only had eyes for us, and the disgust was evident on the girls' faces when they realized the sudden beaming smiles plastered on the guys faces weren't meant for them.

"I told Edward he has to hold on to you. Anyone who can get Alice out of a shoe store that quickly is a miracle worker in my book." Jasper teased as he bent down low to nuzzle Alice's neck. She gave him a playful nudge before melting into his arms.

"I missed you," Edward said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head. I grabbed his hand and pulled his arms tighter.

The movie Jasper and Edward wanted to see didn't start for another two hours. It was some blood and guts horror movie - but we had agreed to movie and dinner of their choice - so we didn't comment on their pick. We had dinner first since we had time to kill. Edward kept putting his hand on my thigh, or at my waist, or on my shoulder. His touch was so right, and each time he would move away slightly, it felt like a cloud passed over the sun. Dinner was a fun affair, with lots of laughing, but I couldn't have told you much about what was said. I was completely absorbed in the man sitting next to me, everything else fading in comparison.

The movie passed much the same as dinner. I spent most of it kissing Edward's lips, or simply staring at him. I don't even remember the name of it. What I did remember was the conversation we had in my room last week about me setting the pace for us. By the time the movie was over I felt like an electrical current was moving between us. I couldn't wait to get him alone in his car, to show him how ready I was.

As we reached Edward's car, the look in his eye told me he was feeling the same things I was. He turned me when I reached the door and pressed my back up against the cold metal. He leaned in to kiss me, his tongue reaching me before his lips - tasting me. I immediately slipped the fingers of my left hand into his soft hair, holding him close. He had me pinned so tightly against the car that my feet were slightly off the ground. He gripped the belt loops of my jeans, pulling me up so our hips were nearly level. My thighs splayed open slightly, of their own accord. He nestled in closer, the warmth between our bodies nearly sending me into a frenzy. A moment later I was clawing at his shirt as he started stepping back - increasing the distance between our bodies.

"Though I appreciate the invitation, I don't want to do this in the parking lot." His voice was so low and husky. It only increased the ache. "Let's get out of here."

We drove in silence for a short while. I tried desperately to get myself under control, but each time I looked over at him, his eyes trained on the road - a look of concentration on his face - I had to forcefully hold myself in the seat. My knuckles were sore from the sheer force of effort, gripping tightly to the smooth leather seat. The thought of spending the night so close to him was torture. I wouldn't make it through the night. That much I was sure of.

Suddenly I had a very wicked idea. If Edward was driving, maybe I could get a little fix. Maybe I could give him the hint that I was ready for more, and make my night of sleeping without him a tiny bit more bearable.

I pulled the seatbelt out a bit so I would have more room to maneuver. I started by kissing up his neck, careful not to leave marks on his sensitive skin. I turned my body slightly, letting my right hand rest on his upper thigh, enjoying the solid feel of him.

I ran my tongue over his earlobe, pleased to hear the hitch in his breath. I inched my hand up his thigh carefully.

"I want more of you, Edward." I purred softly in his ear. As I said this, I slid my hand higher - caressing the now obvious bulge in his pants.

He squirmed slightly at my touch and glanced at me for a moment. I smiled and nodded , increasing the pressure of my hand.

"What exactly do you want Bella?"

"I want you, in my mouth." I was surprised by my ability to be so flip about it - but it was what I wanted - so there was no point denying it.

"Now?" His voice registered a mix of excitement and confusion.

"I guess that depends on how well you can drive while distracted."

Suddenly his face was a mask of concentration - as if to prove he was up for the challenge. And he really was, in more ways than one.

Feeling bold, I popped open the button of his jeans, and gently slid the zipper down. It was a bit of a task as his jeans were a bit tight in that area right now. My thighs burned and I cold feel the dampness seeping through my panties at the sight of his blue boxers, jutting out at an odd angle. He was very impressive, to say the least. I stared in awe for a moment.

"If you keep staring you're going to make me blush." He spoke without taking his eyes off the road.

And then I leaned my head down into his lap, slipping him out through the front of his boxers, overwhelmed by how warm he was, how yummy he smelled. I brought my lips down over him, my hand sliding up - meeting in the middle. I continued this rhythm, licking, sucking, tasting, touching - one of Edward's hands tangling in my hair, urging me downward.

My thought process shut down, and I simply gave myself over to him. I wanted so desperately to please him, my hunger raging out of control. I rubbed my thighs together as I continued, enjoying the friction and tingle it shot through my body.

And then my wondrous moment, my beautiful plan - suddenly backfired. It's not that the moment was ruined - in fact - Edward had been incredibly satisfied. I had a pretty good mouthful of his satisfaction, in fact. It wasn't the taste, but simply the knowledge of what was in my mouth that made me nearly gag. There was no way I could swallow this. It had happened with Jake, too. I had no aversion whatsoever - up to a certain point - and then I just couldn't actually get it down the hatch. I'd be completely useless on those stupid reality shows where they make you eat bugs and goat testicles for kicks.

I leaned away from Edward, desperately afraid I was going to start gagging and spew the whole mess all over his glorious car. And to think I was worried about spilling a milkshake! I quickly glanced around, hoping for a tissue or a cup or something - there was nothing and I was getting desperate. Edward must have had some understanding of the deer in the headlights look on my face - because he quickly opened my window and gently nudged me in that direction. Gratefully, and as daintily as possible, I spit into the wind rushing by the car window. I grabbed up my water bottle and rinsed my mouth, spitting out the window once again. I then took a few sips of my water, feeling incredibly stupid for acting like such an idiot - and ruining what I had wanted to be perfect.

I realized that we were slowing, and then came to a stop at a red light. Edward took a moment to fix his pants, getting himself all tucked away and buttoned up. I was too embarrassed to look at him. I felt his hand against my cheek. When I looked up at him - he was smiling broadly.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked, tentative, not really wanting a reply.

He suddenly looked confused. "Upset? Are you kidding me? Why?"

"Well, I mean - the window, and , well…" I was fumbling for words. Realization of what I was getting at flashed across his face.

"No! Are you kidding me? That was amazing Bella. Unexpected - but amazing. I swear - I really was worried I was going to fly off the road. It's probably best if we don't do that while I'm driving. And before you ask - yes it was that good."

He kissed me hard then, some of the sexual energy had dissipated, but what was left felt strangely truer, more real. I smiled against his lips, pleased by his reaction.

"Thank you. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you - but I am grateful. That really was amazing."

I rested my head on his shoulder, happy he had enjoyed. We drove the rest of the way to his house in a comfortable silence. I still didn't know how I was going to make it through the night - knowing he was right across the hall. I had wanted to get closer to him - but I wondered if I had opened a flood gate instead - starting something that once set in motion there would be no stopping. I smiled into his neck, content in the realization that I didn't care, I would simply let the flood carry me away.

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Thanks for reading. Next chapter - a little memento from their naughty little car ride.

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PS - Sorry I didn't do the whole sex talk with mom thing - it just seemed kind of overdone - and I need to get this story to its destination - hope you aren't disappointed!


	21. Car Wash

_**Disclaimer: Twilight, stories and related characters, are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**AN: Thanks a bunch for your thoughts on last chapter. You guys are great!**_

Chapter 21 Car Wash

(_Edward)_

I am still a bit stunned. Not that what happened on the ride back to the house wasn't great - it absolutely was - it's just that I hadn't been expecting so much so soon. Especially after what went on in Bella's room last week. I had been the one pushing the boundaries that day - and I had wound up feeling like a worldclass jerk when I realized I was pushing things too fast. Of course - that was before she put her head in my lap as we went flying down the highway. She knew how to give a blow-job, that's for sure. I almost started laughing at the end, when she stared around wildly - looking for somewhere discreet to empty her mouth. I wasn't offended that she hadn't swallowed it, in fact - I felt kind of bad that she thought I would be mad about it. Rose wasn't much for giving head - she enjoyed receiving - but she was a bit selfish in terms of reciprocating. Actually, that's not really the entire truth - she was generally just eager to get down to the main event - her appetites really did rival most men. Either way - I'd never had quite so much fun driving home before. I'm just grateful there weren't any police around - I am sure I would have been pulled over for my erratic driving at least.

When we got to my house, I pulled next to Bella's jeep. She hopped out and grabbed her overnight stuff. She still seemed a bit uneasy. I hoped she wasn't embarrassed - or worse - regretting what had happened. I pulled her close to me, in the dark. I loved the feel of her soft warm body pressed up to mine. There was nothing else like it. I kissed her softly on her lush lips, trailing my tongue on the sweetness of her mouth. She smiled, her lips curving up under mine. I glanced up at the clear patch of sky above us - thanking whatever lucky stars had brought us together.

"Are we good?" I asked - hoping to goodness the answer was yes.

"I just feel bad about before. I didn't mean to almost throw up all over your car."

"I told you it was fine. I can't even believe I have to say that. Bella - that was so good. I can't even tell you. I was a little surprised, but it was a good surprise - trust me. You are amazing."

She shifted slightly in my arms - angling her face up so she could look at me. She seemed more at ease - I was incredibly relieved.

"You actually taste pretty yummy -in case you were wondering. The swallowing thing - just can't make myself do it - it's like a mental block." She smirked at me. I was quite flattered that she found me "yummy" and I was already making plans for how I could get her to take another taste.

I leaned into her, letting her feel my body pressing against her.

"I just wish I could have watched those lips of yours while they were on me. I have totally fantasized about that Bella - just the thought of those full red lips slipping up and down -and I had to watch the road instead." I did my best pout - hoping it would still be effective in the dark.

Bella reached up and gently brushed my hair back out of my face. She grabbed my hand, starting for the door of the house. Before we entered - she leaned up and kissed my cheek - "We'll have to see about making that fantasy a reality - won't we?" - she breathed into my ear.

Yes - I definitely loved this girl.

The night was turning out to be a bit more G-rated then I had hoped. My parents made this big deal about Jasper and Bella being over- how they were to be considered guests, but girls and boys would not be sharing sleeping quarters. Rosalie never slept here (though we did "sleep together" here) - she was never good enough friends with Alice to make it seem feasible. Of course - Jasper and I had been close forever - so he always had an in for hanging if he wanted. It did usually end with him in Alice's room until the wee hours - when he'd finally stumble back into my room and crash out on the floor. It didn't look like that would be happening tonight - and I was pretty pissed. I hadn't slept with Bella in my arms since her birthday - and I had never had such a peaceful night in my life. I wanted so badly to just carry her up to my bed and tuck myself in around her - not even for a sexual reason - just to be able to feel her close to me.

Instead, we wound up in the family room, and Bella and Alice discussed more prom details. Jasper and I played some Playstation. I let Jasper pick the game - and we wound up playing baseball - figures - Jasper could never beat me playing baseball for real. It was mindless, but pretty soon we started getting serious - neither of us was into losing. Especially in front of our girls. They stopped talking and started cheering us on as we played. I was beating Jasper by three runs - until Bella decided that she should come and sit in my lap. I didn't mind in the least - but the wonderful pressure of her body on mine quickly caused my concentration to falter. Her feet were bare and her little toes with the red nails were kneading into the lower part of my legs. Pretty soon I was down five runs - and had little interest in finishing the game.

Jasper, who didn't often have victory so close to his grasp, would not let me quit. As soon as my defeat was complete - I dropped my controller and turned Bella towards me, so she was straddling my lap. My body was stretched out on the floor and my back was against the couch. I pulled her face to mine - kissing her thoroughly. I was glad Jasper took the hint - he and Alice left the room, instead of sticking around to gloat.

Twenty minutes later, my shirt completely unbuttoned - as well as Bella's jeans; my hair more untidy than unusual, Bella's lips swollen from my possessive kisses - I summoned all my will power and pushed away from her. My parents were intending to keep us "honest" tonight - and I knew it was just a matter of time before they made their rounds of the house. I wouldn't have minded if they caught us kissing - but we had passed the "just kissing" stage a while ago - and I didn't want Bella to be embarrassed again if my parent's walked in. I wasn't sure why they had decided that tonight they were going to enforce their whole parent role. They certainly weren't naïve as to what went on between Rosalie and I, or between Alice and Jasper. I mean, my dad was a doctor. Come on, they knew what was happening behind closed doors. I figured that perhaps since they had become friends with Bella's parents, they felt the need to show that Bella could be here, sleep here, and that it could still all be "innocent", under the whole guise that she and Alice were friends. They would be visiting each other, it wouldn't just be about me and Bella. Unfortunately, at the moment I was wishing I had no sister, that it was just Bella and me at our own place - with no threat of interruption. I would treat her so right. I wanted her badly, and her little mischief in the car only fueled the fire further. I couldn't imagine making it through the night.

I had been right on about my parents' timing. No sooner than we had gotten decent, or at least our clothes were all properly buttoned and in the right places, I heard my dad's voice in the hall. They stepped into the family room hand in hand, my mom carrying a bowl of popcorn and a movie. When they invited us to stay and watch with them we agreed. Alice and Jasper came in a few moments later. His hair looked about as messed up as I imagined mine was - no doubt about what they had been up to either. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed some sodas for Bella and I. We sat on the loveseat, and I loved the way Bella melted into me as I sat next to her. I remembered how she had fallen asleep watching movies with me at her house, and I wondered if she would be awake much longer.

The movie was okay. It was "30 Days of Night", the vampire movie about Alaska, it was supposed to be a bit on the bloody side. I wasn't surprised my mom had picked this movie - she has this weird obsession with vampires. My dad always picks things that are more action - less horror. I guess he generally gets enough of the blood and guts at work. Bella jumped a few times, but seemed to enjoy the movie. To my annoyance, she seemed awfully interested n the guy in the movie - Josh something or other. Every time his face flashed on the screen she would meet Alice's eye and they would smile. It really was annoying. I felt like a complete tool - being jealous of some actor in a movie. I really did have it bad for Bella. Evidently, the movie wasn't as interesting to her as it was to me, in spite of the hottie on the screen - because ten minutes before it ended, I noticed she had fallen asleep with her head tucked against my chest. I loved the feel of her breathing against my body, a slow and steady rhythm - lulling like the ocean. I wondered if I closed my eyes and fell asleep holding her on the couch, if my parents would let us just stay here. I knew the answer was probably no.

When the movie was over I picked Bella up gently and carried her to Alice's room. I really had to fight the urge not to just turn into my own and lay her across my bed. My mom marveled at Bella's ability to stay so soundly asleep. I laughed, I had witnessed her amazing ability before. My father gave me a strange look, and when my mom headed to bed he stayed in the kitchen with me. I knew he had something on his mind, he usually doesn't let my mom head up to bed by herself ( even after all this time, it was a bit sickening really).

"That girl is really something Edward. She is beautiful, and smart too!" He eyed me closely, as if trying to read my reaction.

"Yes. I'd say your right. Smart and beautiful. She also happens to appreciate me very much, which is something I am going to have to get used to."

My father knew quite well the difficulties I had with Rosalie. We were a lot alike, my father and I. We were both hopeless romantics who wore our hearts on our sleeves - and we both just wanted to share what we had with a good woman.

He nodded at that and started for the door. He clapped me on the back as he passed, the time tested show of manly affection. Just before he left the room he stopped and looked at me for a moment.

"You look at her just the same way that I look at your mom."

I looked up, a bit stunned at his observation. He smiled and nodded and then left.

Alice and Jasper had headed upstairs just after I brought Bella up. I was extremely tired, but wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to fall asleep. I actually stood outside Alice's door, hand raised, ready to knock quietly. It was so still though, so quiet, instead of knocking I gently placed my hand flat on the door and leaned my head forward. I knew she was on the other side, dreaming peacefully. I wondered if she was dreaming of me, hoping that she was. I hated the knowledge that she was so close to me, that I couldn't just have her next to me. I stood there for a long length of time, leaning into the door that separated me from my sleeping beauty. The sound of someone moving around in my parents' room caused me to step back. They would probably be making one last set of rounds to be sure we were where we should be. I walked back to my room, a bit surprised to find Jasper already snoring softly. He was sprawled out in a sleeping bag at the side of my room, his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow I recognized from Alice's bed. I climbed into my bed and was grateful that sleep found me quickly.

I woke early. I had slept restlessly all night, tossing and turning and dreaming stupid dreams about Bella leaving me to chase after a vampire that lived in Alaska. I threw on a sweatshirt and headed downstairs, hoping Bella would be up soon.

To my surprise, she was already in the kitchen. She was chatting with my mom as she loaded a bagel with cream cheese. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. She sighed and leaned back against me. She turned her head back slightly and I leaned down to kiss her good morning.

"I missed you." I said as I burrowed my head into her hair. I closed my eyes, wishing I could drag her to the couch or somewhere and just go back to sleep for a few hours. I would have been happy to lay across the kitchen floor.

"Thanks for putting me to bed. I seem to be making a habit of falling asleep on you during movies. I missed you too."

My mother cleared her throat. "Good morning to you to, Edward. I slept fine, thanks for asking." She was teasing.

I let Bella go for a moment and gave my mom a quick hug.

"Good morning mom. Sorry, I'm still not really awake."

She took her coffee and toast and sat at the kitchen table. She settled in to read the paper. I took Bella's juice and bagel and led her out to the couch. I put her food on the side table and she sat down. I grabbed the blanket that was folded up on the chair and pulled it over myself as I settled my head down on Bella's lap. It was so warm under the blanket, and her body was the perfect pillow. I closed my eyes as she stroked my hair. I imagined this was how a cat felt when it curled up in your lap and was petted gently. Bella grabbed her bagel and started eating quietly.

"Go back to sleep."

I didn't need to be told twice. I closed my eyes and fell into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.

I woke up when the soft comfortable lap I was resting my head on started shaking. I was aware of the sound of laughter. I opened my eyes and saw Bella with her hand over her mouth, her body shaking in a fit of silent giggles. Jasper and Alice were in the room as well, laughing loudly. I sat up stiffly, Bella looking at me apologetically.

She stopped laughing and leaned down a bit to kiss me. I righted myself so that I was sitting up next to her. I finally caught sight of my sister, standing near the doorway with Jasper.

"Hey sleepyhead." Alice was talking in her way too loud and cheery for morning voice. "I was trying to convince Bella to make a whole bunch of little braids in your hair - or at least to let me do it. She wouldn't let me have any fun though."

I looked at Bella and she smiled. "I won't let Alice hurt you - don't worry."

"That's just one of the reasons I love you." I put my arm around her and pulled her close.

My dad came in, sweaty from running. He always jogged a few miles in the morning. I definitely got my love of running from him. His hair was plastered to his head, and his shirt was salt stained. It struck me that my dad looked a lot younger than he really was. He was in excellent shape, and even though he's my dad - I'd have to admit he's a really attractive man. I wished he'd head right up to the shower - I had this sudden urge to not have Bella see my dad like this. It was one thing if she said some guy on TV was good looking - it would be completely different if she thought that kind of thing about my dad. Unfortunately, he came right in and started talking.

"Edward, what happened to your car?"

I panicked, thinking that it had been fine when we got home last night. What could have happened?

"What do you mean? It was fine last night."

"Oh, you just always have it so clean. Some bird got the side of the thing good. You're going to want to wash it today." With that he headed for the shower.

Man, I hated when birds got my car. I was a bit obsessive about keeping it clean. I made a mental note to swing by the car wash later today.

"I didn't see anything on your car last night." Alice said.

Bella thought for a moment. "I didn't either."

"It must have been this morning. I just washed it too!"

A few hours later Bella had to leave. We spent the morning being lazy, and hadn't moved much from the couch. Unfortunately - Jasper and I had to head back to school. It was our final week and we had to start packing stuff up. Bella had homework to catch up on, she confessed she had saved it up so she would have something to do besides miss me.

We walked out to Bella's car. I placed her bags in her jeep, and then turned to survey the mess on my car. That bird must have made a bit of a mess if it was noticeable enough for my dad to mention. As I looked at the passenger side of my car I froze. I looked at Bella, and her eyes were on my car as well, and a very deep shade of pink was creeping across her cheeks and neck. The backseat door and window of the passenger side were smeared with splashes of a milky looking substance. It could have passed for something a bird would do - if a bird managed to go to the bathroom sideways on my car while I drove seventy miles an hour. The mess on the car was much more consistent with what it would look like if you spit something out of a window of a fast moving car. Everything Bella had gotten rid of had gotten wind-blasted back and was now plastered like evidence all over the side of the car. I didn't know whether to be disgusted or to laugh. It was pretty funny really, especially in light of the fact that my dad had pointed it out. Yes, a car wash was definitely in order.

"Man, what is that? No bird did that." Jasper said disgustedly.

"Did you dump something out your window?" Alice asked. Leave it to her to come up with that scenario.

"Um, yeah, actually - I dumped my drink out. That must have been it." Bella looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm sorry." She apologized to me. I just shook my head.

Alice watched the two of us for a moment. She looked back at the car again. Suddenly, a strange expression crossed her face and she rolled her eyes and laughed to herself. I couldn't really imagine she had figured it out - but with Alice, you just never knew. She was always a step ahead.

_**Yeah. Spitting into the wind can leave a mess if you aren't careful. Bella and Edward will share a romantic moment at the prom next chapter. Let's just say they definitely will not be "all dressed up with no place to go". But how long they stay dressed up will remain to be seen**_


	22. Second Time's The Charm

_AN - Okay - I usually hate those annoyingly long and personal author notes - but this one is merited - so forgive me. I sincerely apologize for the mess of last chapter- it is fixed now. I pride myself on providing you all with something that is - at the least - readable - and I have totally been beating myself up over the mess with last chapter. I got a new computer - and evidently when I uploaded the chapter - it screwed up all the quotes and things - again I apologize. Sincerely! Please don't hold it against me!_

_**Disclaimer - It is all the wonderful creation of Stephenie Meyer. I am jealous.**_

Chapter 22 The Second Time's the Charm

(_Bella)_

I was counting the days, the minutes, the seconds. I could not wait until Saturday. The prom was fine - and I was excited, but the fact that Edward would be done with school and home for the summer had me completely over the moon. I couldn't even begin to imagine how wonderful it was going to be to see him, touch him, be with him, all the time. I was aching to be with him, and I was aching for other things as well. I knew where this path was leading, and though I was a little nervous - I was tingling with anticipation. When he called, I would close my eyes and just let his voice wash over me. The last time we had talked I had gotten so carried away with the fantasies in my mind that I hadn't been much use in terms of conversation. He finally asked why I was so distracted, and I had admitted, a bit begrudgingly, that I had been playing naughty fantasies through my head while we were talking. That caused a whole slew of questions from Edward. He wanted to know every detail of my sordid thoughts, and the phone call quickly got steamy and a bit kinky.

"I want you to know, that I think I'm ready know. I want to be with you Edward. I want you to be my first, and if I'm being honest - my only. I want you so badly it hurts."

There was a pause, a bit longer than I would have hoped. I worried for a moment if I shouldn't have tacked that little bit about "only" on the end.

When he started to speak, it was in a rush of words, that I had to struggle to comprehend.

"I want you Bella. I don't know what it is about you, but you have this effect on me that is maddening. When I'm with you, I have to touch you, feel you. I can't bear to be apart from you. To hear you say that you want to be with me, that you want to give yourself up to me, is amazing. I feel so unworthy of you - but I want to be, I want to be the man that deserves you, that deserves the wonderful gift you're willing to give me. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms for long."

I laughed - of course he had to tack that on the end, he couldn't just stop with the whole waxing poetical. Typical. Yet, that was another reason I found him so endearing, so who was I to complain.

He kept asking about the whole plan for the prom. He specifically wanted to know how committed I was to staying at the prom. I wasn't. I intended to make an appearance, snag a dance or two with my hot date, and then we could make an exit. Aside from Alice, I wasn't very close with many of the other students. I was much more concerned about spending time with Edward. I had a secret hope that he was making some special plans for us for the night, that included just the two of us. It was incredibly clichéd to think of "losing it" on prom night - I mean - how "American Pie" and all. If I wasn't so eager to let Edward deflower me, I think I might even stipulate that prom night was the one night I wouldn't do it. Of course, that would all remain to be seen.

I was spending Friday night at Alice's. My mom and dad would be over on Saturday to do pictures and all of that fun stuff that goes along with frilly dresses and tuxedos. I packed all the things I would need for my weekend and headed over.

Alice's mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner. It smelled delicious. She looked up from the stove as I walked by and smiled broadly, waving me over to her. She pulled me into a tight hug. We talked for a few moments before she went back to her careful preparation of the food. I thought about Esme and Carlisle Cullen as I walked up to Alice's room. They reminded me a lot of my own parents. They were both very bright, and well respected in our community. Carlisle was a very gifted doctor, and although he could have his pick of high profile hospitals to work out of, he chose to keep his family in this small town, in an effort to really have and enjoy a family. I'd never admit it to Alice or Edward (especially not Edward) - but he was incredibly good looking, too. I had heard that he was quite popular at the hospital, especially with the nurses. Seeing how he looked when he had come in all sweaty after his run the other day, it certainly wasn't surprising. Esme was equally attractive. She had coloring that was more similar to Edward's, and her green eyes were almost hypnotic. When Carlisle and Esme were in a room together, it was painfully obvious that they would never have eyes for anyone else. I found it strange that we both came from families with parents that were so completely committed to each other. I am sure that that had a big impact on the relationship Edward and I had. It was as if, after having that example set before us all our lives, we were drawn to each other, as souls that were seeking that same everlasting bond.

I stopped at Edward's door. He would be home tomorrow morning. He would be in his room, he would be playing his piano, he would be naked in his shower. Mmmm, what I would give to have him home tonight. I would force myself to stay awake, and when it was late enough, I would sneak into his room, crawl between his sheets and get naked. I laughed at myself. Sure, I could be bold when there was no chance of him actually coming home. If he pulled up right now - I knew I would never really follow through with that scenario.

I walked into Edward's room and looked around for a moment. It was a comfort to be surrounded by his things. On a whim, I threw myself on his bed, bouncing slightly atop the mattress. I burrowed my head into the comforter, hoping to inhale his dizzying scent. There was only the faintest trace, the bedding must have been recently washed - it smelled more like fabric softener. I pealed the blankets back a bit and snuggled into a pillow. Now I could smell Edward. I pulled his pillow up and hugged it to me, breathing deeply, becoming incredibly aroused at the smell of the man I loved while I was lying in his bed.

"Geez Bella, why are you trying to take advantage of Edward's poor defenseless pillow."

I snapped up into a sitting position, Edward's pillow falling in my lap. Alice was standing near the bed looking incredulous. She couldn't seem to decide if she wanted to laugh or be annoyed by my detour on the way to her room. I could feel the blush staining my cheeks. We were supposed to be having the girly time I had slept through last week, and instead I was rolling around on her brother's bed. Some friend I was.

"Hey. Sorry. I was on my way up to your room and I got a little side-tracked." I gestured to the bed, as if that somehow explained my behavior.

Alice laughed then. She then stood up on the bed and started jumping around, my bottom bouncing on the mattress. She finally flopped down on her back, her laughter ending in a sigh. I stretched out next to her and we both stared up at the ceiling.

"We used to jump on the bed together all the time when we were little. We'd sneak into my parent's room so we could be on the big bed. Edward was always afraid we would get in trouble, so I would have to drag him along, but then we would start bouncing and he would start laughing so hard. One time, I fell off, and I was crying so hard. I think we were 5 and 6 at the time. I hit my knee when I landed, and Edward looked at it carefully, just the way dad would have done - and then he picked me up and carried me to my mom. I have no idea how we didn't fall down the stairs - but we made it - and he talked to me the whole time about dinosaurs. He used to love dinosaurs, and he wanted to distract me. I have no idea how he knew all the right things to do. He was always like this little grown up." She looked at me for a moment and then smiled slightly. " I don't know what brought all that up!"

"It was nice to hear. It's kind of fun dating your best friend's brother. I get to hear all these secret little tid-bits that no one else would know. I can see him doing that, even as a little boy. He's very good at caring for people. He'll make an excellent doctor."

"Yeah, he will. He is pretty unique. He's smart and compassionate. He's also good looking and quite a gentleman. And if you tell him all the nice things I have just said about him - I will so kick your butt!"

We both laughed harder then.

We continued to lay on Edward's bed, talking, laughing, Alice regaling me with more silly stories about things she and Edward did growing up. It was so much fun. I decided Edward's bed was extremely comfy, I could get very used to being in it.

Eventually our conversation turned more personal.

"So, Bella, do you have big plans for those teeny-tiny panties you purchased to where under your dress tomorrow?"

This was quite the loaded question from my darling little Alice. She knew I was still a virgin. She also knew how I felt about her brother, and had witnessed the fact that the two of us can't keep our hands off each other. I knew exactly what she was asking.

"I don't know. Do you think I just bought them special for your brother?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I know that is exactly why you bought them. And I think they were an excellent choice. He will adore them!"

I felt a moment of awkwardness. She had just been sharing all these sweet little moments of her and Edward when they were little, and now we were discussing sex. I wasn't sure exactly how to proceed, especially since she was the one who had once stated that she didn't want all the details of our relationship.

"Are you sure this is something you want to talk about? I would love to talk to you, as a best friend - but if the whole thing of it being your brother is going to make it weird - we don't have to."

"I'm good," she said - smiling. "And since I have decided that I am willing to discuss my brother's sex life - I would like you to confess - and tell me exactly what happened to his car last week."

She looked at me with a smirk and her eyebrow raised, as if she was daring me not to answer. I knew this moment was coming. She always figured everything out - it was pretty darn annoying sometimes. You couldn't keep a secret from Alice.

I took Edward's pillow and held it over my face. This was not going to be pretty. I decided to tell her with the pillow still in place.

I was mumbling into the pillow when she started tickling me. I let go of the pillow and wrenched myself away from her. I hate to be tickled, because I am ticklish everywhere. It's like torture. I was already laughing so hard that tears were running down my face. In between gasps for breath I begged her to stop. Finally, when Edward's comforting pillow had been tossed across the room, she stopped.

When I had regained enough oxygen to speak normally I started again, without the pillow for cover.

"I spit something out of the window, while we were driving, and it splattered back up on the car. That's all."

"Yeah, that's all. What did you spit out the window?"

"Let's just say, I have not mastered the art of swallowing."

"I knew it! Gross, Bella - all over the car. That's so funny, and dad was the one who pointed it out! Jasper owes me ten bucks. I saw that look you two gave each other and I knew it wasn't from a bird, or you spilling stuff out the window. I told him you had given Edward a blowjob on the ride home and he didn't believe me. Then we made this stupid bet, and he pouted about the fact that I never do that for him when we are driving around. I told him that I would much rather live to see twenty then have him crash into a tree because I was doing that. He really doesn't have the concentration to do that. It would be a disaster."

"I thought I was going to lose it, and get it all over the inside of the car. Can you imagine what he would have done if I did that?"

"Really! That car is his baby. Ya know, that whole swallowing thing isn't that bad, you just have to do it, you can't let it linger."

"That's a good tip, but it's like a mental block. Somehow I just can't make myself do it. I try to psych myself up, convince myself that I can, and I always freeze up and can't do it in the end. And since I know you are dying to know, I do have big plans for my sexy panties. I really want to be with Edward. I'm a little nervous, but I love him, and I don't want to wait." I could feel my cheeks burning, I imagined my face was probably blazing red by this point.

"I understand. When it's right, you just know it. That's how it was with Jasper. It's funny, we knew each other for a while, because he was friends with Edward, and then one day, we were all swimming, and he came over near me and took my hand. That was it. It was like the planets suddenly aligned. From that moment on, we were together. I think there was always something under the surface, but he can be a little shy. We had these big plans for our first time. We were going to make it so special and I had this big vision of how wonderful and perfect it was going to be. Instead, one day my parents were out, and we were fooling around in my room, and it just kind of happened. Of course, we weren't planning on it so we wound up rummaging through Edward's drawers to find a condom, he doesn't know that - by the way. It was awkward, and it was uncomfortable and then Jasper was a little over-excited and it was all over. I swear it was like 8 minutes from start to finish. It was so bad!"

"Oh my gosh. That's so sad. I am so afraid of being bad at everything, or pain, or not being what he expects. I mean, Rosalie - she is like this goddess."

"I am sure you won't be bad at anything, Bella. It's just something you have to do, and figure out as you go. As for pain, it's going to hurt a little, but it's not that bad. And Rosalie might be beautiful, but I know my brother, and he is insanely attracted to you. I am pretty sure you could throw a sack on and he'd still be crazy to get to you. You two have this whole soul mate thing, I really wouldn't worry about him not being happy with you, it's not possible."

"Jacob wanted us to be together. We did lots of other stuff, but we never got to the main event. I'm glad now. Since Edward and I started dating my mom keeps giving me all these warnings and reminding me about protection. I have a feeling she thinks we're already going at it like bunnies. It's incredibly embarrassing, especially since I have told her we haven't - and she doesn't really believe me."

"Oh please, try having a doctor for a dad! He has no shame whatsoever. He's even asked Jasper, in front of me, if he has condoms. You just wait. I'm sure you'll get your share soon enough."

Wonderful, that wouldn't be awkward.

" My advice to you Bella, is to look forward to the second time. It might be different with you and Edward, because he has experience - but for Jasper and I - I was mighty disappointed the first time, and I think Jasper was really embarrassed that it didn't go quite the way we both were hoping. He's so sensitive about stuff, it's very sweet, but he hates to disappoint me more than anything else. I think he was extremely determined to make up for the first time, because that night we wound up at his house, in his room - and it was completely mind-blowing. The whole pressure of it being the first time was out of the way, and it didn't hurt so much, and he was determined; as I said. So that's what I always think, when I have friends that are taking the plunge - the second time is the one to really look forward to. Knowing Edward, he'll probably have the whole thing planned out perfectly, so your first will probably be that whole amazing experience all us girls secretly hope for." She rolled her eyes as she said this, as if the fact that her brother was so amazing was a grave annoyance to her.

"Okay, so look forward to the second time. I get that, I guess. I can see the whole anticipation of the unknown taking precedent over the actual deed. There is probably truth to the whole idea that knowledge is power too. I mean, once you've done it, the whole mystery is gone. So, the second time was mind-blowing with Jasper? Interesting. He is quite the dish, Alice."

She laughed. "Yes, I think he is just about the most gorgeous creature alive; if you like tall, sexy blonde men who write you poetry and paint your toe-nails. Personally, that's my perfect type."

I smiled at her expression, it was that unfocused dreamy look that I had dubbed her "Jasper face". He writes her poetry and paints her toes? That seems fitting. He seems like the kind of guy that is very masculine, yet knows how to treat a girl the way they deserve. I felt that same vibe the first time we met when he had confronted Jacob. I really couldn't believe how lucky I felt to have met Alice, and Edward. There was something to all of it, this pervading feeling of predestination that I sometimes found frightening. I wondered if Edward felt that way at all. Alice had used the term soul mates earlier, and I would definitely agree with her choice of words. Is this the way my parents had felt, did they have this feeling of rightness, this sense of the future when they first met. I made a mental note to ask my mom.

"And he is mind-blowing. He can do this thing with his tongue …" the rest was muffled out when I placed my hand over her mouth and started humming the "Star Spangled Banner" as loudly as possible.

"Too much information Alice. Mind-blowing is more than enough, I do not need to know about tongues, or other parts or his anatomy." She grinned sweetly at me, showing me she would behave when I removed my hand which was still clamped in place.

As soon as it was off of her mouth she started in again, "Speaking of other parts of Jasper's perfect anatomy, he has the biggest …" I lunged to replace my hand. She was so bad!

"No, Alice. I do not need to know. Thanks for your willingness to share, but I'm good. Besides, I am sure you aren't interested in me giving you descriptions of your brother, so let's just steer this conversation elsewhere, shall we?"

"Hey, he's my brother, I've seen him naked - not recently of course, but it has happened. So that is not a valid argument on your part. But I agree, let's get out of here and get our stuff ready for tomorrow. We need to do manicures and pedicures tonight, so we don't have to worry about smudges. What did your mom think of your dress? You never told me."

I was grateful for the change in direction. I know Alice had been teasing about Jasper - but I did feel like I needed a break from talking about all of it. I heaved myself off of Edward's bed, reluctant to leave the comfort of his room. I smoothed the blankets, and Alice threw the pillow back that had been tossed away earlier.

"She really liked it. She said I shouldn't let my dad see it. She thinks he will make less of a scene if I walk out with it on, here. He still thinks I am 8 not 18. It is a tad more sexy than things I usually go for, so I definitely see her point."

We had made it to Alice's bathroom and began digging through all the shades of polish she owned. I let Alice decide on the colors. It simply mattered more to her.

Later, we were getting ready to watch a movie when my phone rang. It was my nightly call from Edward. Alice was a sweetheart, and ran to grab us some sodas so I could have a bit of privacy.

"Hey, beautiful. What are you up to?"

"Hi gorgeous. Nothing really. I just had my nails done, and now we are going to watch a movie."

"I miss you. I am so glad I am going to be home for the next few months. I can't stand being so far away from you. I'd be useless in a long distance relationship."

"I miss you too. The first thing I did when I got here was flop down on your bed. Your pillows smell like you. It made me want you really bad."

"That sucks. You were in my bed, wanting me - and I missed it! I'll get you into my bed soon enough, just you wait!"

"I wish you were coming home tonight. I'd wait for you, in your bed, naked."

"You are evil. Do you know that I just ran and grabbed my keys, and did a mental tabulation of how long it would take to cram everything in my car. Then I remembered that you are a world class tease."

"I already told you Edward. I intend to give you everything you want, therefore I am not a tease."

"Okay, Bella. Let's just say that I decide to hop in my car, leave all my stuff to get another day, and head for home. Let's say you are really nestled between my sheets, with nothing on your sexy body. Let's say I climb in next to you, equally naked and you let me have my wicked way, all night long. Are you sure you're ready to give me that Bella? Are you sure you want to offer yourself up for everything I want? Are you sure you want to deal with my parents when they come running to my door because you are screaming my name over and over in utter ecstasy? Because I still have my keys in my hand. I can be there in a few hours."

One half of my brain said I should call his bluff, and the other screamed that I had just offered up sex to him and he'd probably drive the long way to get it - even if it meant we got busted by his parents. I didn't doubt his ability to make me scream - he sounded awfully confident.

"Uhm…" was all I could manage to get out.

"See, I told you. You're such a tease." I heard the sound of his keys being dropped on the dresser in the background. "But I still love you, anyway."

Later, when we were ready to go to sleep, I ran into Edward's room and grabbed his pillow. I settled down to sleep, the lower part of my body still tingling with anticipation of what might come tomorrow. I would prove to Edward that I wasn't just a tease.

**Thanks for reading. I hope you liked a little bit of girl time. Thanks to all of you who review with all your great thoughts and encouragement. It is sweet beyond words! Thanks! **


	23. Prom part 1

**Disclaimer: Twilight stories and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Sorry - it's almost the end of the school year - not making excuses for my long wait between updates - just stating a fact. (fellow teachers- I am sure you feel my pain)**

_Chapter 23 Prom (part1)_

_(Edward)_

I was so glad that I was done with my first year of college. It had been an interesting year, successful academically, but a bit strange socially. I had started the year, dating Rosalie, feeling sure that the year would follow the general path that we had been taking in our relationship. Then we drifted apart, pretty quickly with the demands and new experiences offered at school. I had originally thought that if we broke up I might spend a bit of time just dating. Not necessarily having random sex every night (though I was pretty willing to leave that option open), but just not being connected - committed to someone else. And then I met Bella. Talk about a paradigm shift. Now my thoughts were consumed by this beautiful woman, she haunted my dreams, and seemed to give substance to my future. It was impossible for me to label the feelings I had for her, they seemed so far beyond lust or even love. It was as if my life had suddenly become "about" her - and strangely - I was loving it.

I couldn't wait for tonight. I had so many things planned, and I couldn't wait to see Bella. I had quite a few things to get done before we headed to the dance tonight. We needed to leave by 5:45 as we had dinner reservations with Jasper and Alice at 6:00. The dance started at 7:00, and then I had plans for Bella and I later in the night. I knew I would need a few hours to prepare Bella's surprise - so I had told everyone I wouldn't be getting back until shortly before we were leaving. I didn't want anyone else knowing my plans. I took one last look around my dorm room to be sure I hadn't left anything. Jeff had already left, and we hadn't really had a whole lot to say other then goodbye. I wasn't going to miss this room at all. I was glad Jasper and I were able to find a decent place for next year. Now we just needed to convince Alice and Bella to rent the apartment next door. We didn't think any of our parents would go for us cohabitating - but this would be just about the same thing - it would simply sound more respectable.

Seeing I hadn't left anything, I headed out to my car. When I got in I checked the list I had written and made a mental check once again to be sure I would have everything I needed. Satisfied that I was all set, I headed off to prepare Bella's surprise.

.I made it home with very little time to spare. I knew Alice didn't want Jasper and I to see them until they were all ready. I ran upstairs, shaving quickly and jumping into the shower. I was extremely rank and dirty, disheveled and sweating. It was good to get in the shower and get cleaned off. I got dressed in my suit - I went with a suit instead of a tux - I had a few really nice suits that looked so much better than a rented tux ever would. I put on my charcoal gray suit with a black shirt I had just picked up that was more fitted then the one I usually wore with this suit. I also had a new black silk tie to complete the look. I stood in front of the mirror and gave myself a quick once over. I may prefer wearing jeans, but I can swing the whole GQ thing pretty well. My dad is very good at dressing the part of a professional surgeon, I've had enough time to pick up a bit of his style, which really is impressive. Alice had told me that Bella's dress was black, and I couldn't wait to see us, side by side. I felt a pang of nervousness, hoping she would like the way that I looked. I couldn't believe how easily she could completely unnerve me. It was so different than anything I had with anyone else. When I was all decked out, I headed downstairs. I was hoping Jasper would be waiting, too - and I had to grab the flowers that I had picked up for Bella. I had been running late and in my haste to get in the shower I left them in the car. I hoped they wouldn't be too wilted.

Jasper hadn't arrived yet, and I was glad to have a minute to retrieve the flowers. When I went back inside, my mom was waiting to pounce. She had her camera out and was making her usual fuss over her only son. It was rather embarrassing and I was glad that the girls were still upstairs and not witnessing my mothers dramatics.

"You look so wonderful Edward. Is that a new shirt?"

"Yeah, I was told Bella would be wearing black, I thought this would compliment her nicely."

"She is indeed in black. You are going to be speechless when you see her. She is so lovely Edward. I really like her."

"I really like her too." I didn't know what else to say. I was sure my stupid grin said more than my words anyhow.

"Do you have any plans for after the dance?" She raised an eyebrow as she asked, her question laced with implication. My own mother! I could feel my neck and cheeks turning pink.

I didn't even reply to her question. I simply rolled my eyes and shook my head as I turned to walk away. At least my dad hasn't tried to give me a handful of condoms yet, it wouldn't be the first time I've been in that unpleasant situation. They were so ridiculous. Last week we couldn't even sleep in the same room, and today they just assume I'm taking Bella somewhere for sex after the prom. Not that their assumptions were far off, but still.

Bella's parents arrived and Jasper showed up shortly after. Jasper looked cool as always. He opted for a suit as well. He wore a tailored tan suit with a crisp white shirt, the top collar button was undone and the dark tie around his neck was slightly loosened. On anyone else, it would have looked like they were simply being sloppy, or had loosened their collar and tie for their ride. On Jasper it just looked good. If I thought I could swing the GQ thing - Jasper owned it. I was secure enough to admit that he was incredibly good looking. Seriously, the boy belonged on an Abercrombie bag. It always amazed me that Jasper, who was so tall and blonde, could compliment Alice, in all her petite beauty, so well. They looked so right together, and it was a strange thing with the two of them, they had this very deep connection that wasn't always clear to people that didn't know them well. To those of us who did, it was borderline freaky. I swear they know exactly what the other person is feeling, all the time. It is uncanny.

Bella's parents made themselves at home. My dad had been watching a game, so Charlie had settled in with him and they were already engrossed. Bella's mom had given me a hug and had "oohd" and "aahd" over me more than my own mother. Then she ran up to check on the girls. Jasper and I sat in the kitchen, wondering how much longer they were going to be. I had rushed to get ready, but if Bella and Alice weren't down soon, we were going to lose our dinner reservations.

I grabbed the little bouquet of red roses I had for Bella. They were miniature roses and they were incredibly delicate and perfect. I was drumming my fingers on the table when I noticed what Jasper was holding. He had brought Alice the latest copy of Vogue instead of flowers. He noticed that I was staring at the magazine and he shrugged.

"The last time I got her flowers, she made some comment about how flowers die but fashion is forever. I can take a hint. Believe me, she'll like this better than flowers. I know that much about your sister."

I laughed, knowing he was probably right.

A moment later we heard Alice calling from the top of the stairs. I couldn't believe the rush of anxiety that hit me at that moment. My palms were actually sweating. Jasper must have sensed my nervousness. He clapped me on the back and led the way to the hall.

Alice came down the stairs first. She looked incredible. It seemed funny that this was still my little sister, the one I used to play T-Ball with when I was 6. She looked like a stranger, and I realized that we had indeed grown up. We were never going to be that little duo that would sneak down to the family room on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons and eat cereal out of the box, again.

Alice was wearing a cream colored silk dress. It had a slightly flowing skirt that stopped just below the knee. The top had thin little lacy straps and with her little pixie face she looked positively angelic. She glided down the stairs, impossibly graceful in her heels. I groaned inwardly. I couldn't believe I had picked out all those details about how my sister was dressed. I knew that all of her designer talk would wear off on me eventually, but at the moment I felt the need for a shot of something manly - a little testosterone boost. I casually adjusted myself and squared my shoulders, then I called in to my dad and asked for the score of the game. Aah - much better.

I smiled as Jasper and Alice greeted each other. He had been right, she ripped the Vogue from his hand and kissed him passionately. I laughed when he caught my eye and gave me a smirk, as if to say, "told you so". My mother was back in full fuss mode and was dragging the two of them to the other room, in order to have better light for pictures.

When Bella appeared at the top of the steps, I was completely blown away. Her black dress fit every curve to perfection. She had on some very high strappy heels that made her already lovely legs look simply phenomenal. The dress was strapless and the sight of all that glorious bare skin from her neck to her shoulders made me hungry to see more of her. I remembered what Alice had mentioned about the little surprise she was going to be wearing under the dress. My mind raced with the possibilities, and the front of my pants were suddenly way too tight. Whatever she was wearing under there was causing her to have incredible cleavage that was just about spilling over her dress. I couldn't take my eyes off of the lovely sight, it was as if they were glued there. Bella's hair was swept up off of her neck and she looked delicate and perfect. I actually had to blink a few times, praying the beautiful image in front of my eyes wasn't some sort of illusion. I was vaguely aware of the fact that she had started to descend the stairs. I met her halfway, worried that the heels combined with her innate clumsiness might not be a good mix.

When I reached her on the steps, I drew her into my arms. I was enjoying the little extra height that the shoes afforded her. I leaned in and kissed her deeply. She smelled scrumptious and her lips tasted like strawberries. As I slipped my tongue into her warm mouth, I wondered if she would consider skipping the prom altogether. I wanted to get her straight to her surprise. I still hadn't even said hello to her. I had been speechless when she first came into view, and now I wasn't interested in doing anything other than kissing her. Correction, I was interested in doing many other things, all of which started with kissing, and pretty much wound up with us naked and out of breath at the end. Since that wasn't an option at this exact moment, I would settle for the kissing. I slid my arm up to the graceful column of her neck. I slid my hand up the back of her neck and then across to her collar bone. I desperately wanted to map out every contour of her skin with my hands. Her hands were at my waist, gently pulling at the fabric of my shirt. I sucked on her sumptuous bottom lip, one of my favorite parts of her body. No one had lips like Bella, and they featured prominently in nearly all of my fantasies.

I stepped back from Bella when I heard someone clear their throat, in that obvious, trying to get your attention sort of way. I looked down at her beautiful face and finally said, "Hello, beautiful."

She smiled sweetly and said, "hi" back.

I heard that annoying throat clearing sound again and looked down to see that it was Jasper that was making it. When he caught my eye, he nodded slightly to the left, and I realized that our parents were assembled in the hall. I had been way to preoccupied with the brown haired siren next to me to even notice that we had an audience. I was suddenly quite glad that I had kept my plans for tonight a secret from everyone. I needed this girl alone, all to myself, and I needed it now. If my pants had grown tight before, they were about to bust a seam now.

I took Bella's hand and led her carefully down the remaining steps. I glanced at her from the side, mesmerized again by the swell of her breasts and the sleek curve of her waist. I thought about the promise I had made to myself, that I wouldn't push Bella too far tonight, that we wouldn't do anything she wasn't ready for. That was suddenly looking like a promise that was going to be extremely difficult to keep.

When we went outside to take a few more pictures, I noticed that Bella's dad didn't look too pleased. He seemed to be glaring in my general direction. I made a mental note to quit ogling her before he got truly angry with me. Again, I had set myself a task that would prove all too difficult. As the four of us posed for a final picture, I had to admit that we were quite a good looking bunch. I wondered if Bella's parents thought we were under dressed. I know that she had originally thought everyone would be in super fancy dresses and tuxes, arriving at their destination in stretch limos. However, our little town wasn't quite so big on the whole prom thing. I knew we were dressed perfectly, and I also knew there wouldn't be any limos at the entrance to the school gym. We were probably one of the few places that actually still held their prom in a gym. It was rather lame, but it was also just the way our town did things. I could only imagine the spectacle that prom was at Bella's old school. From what she had said about the size of it, I was sure that Bella might be a bit underwhelmed at the little dance we would be attending.

"Do you know how beautiful you are, my Bella?" I whispered in her ear.

"Do you know how gorgeous you are, Edward?" she purred back.

"So, how quickly are you willing to ditch out on this prom? You know that I have some big plans for us for later." I looked deeply into her eyes, willing her to say that we could skip the dance completely.

"How about we put in an appearance, and then we can do whatever you want."

YES! That's just what I needed to hear.

"Whatever I want?" I glanced down at her, and she was slightly biting her lower lip. I don't know if she even realized what she was doing, but I took it as an unspoken invitation.

We left for dinner, arriving fifteen minutes late, but luckily they held our table. I felt the eyes of the room on us as we took our seats. I was used to guys staring at Rosalie. It was pretty much a given that she would draw all the male attention in any room. She had thrived on the attention, it was like air to her. Bella seemed to attract an equal amount of attention, yet she was oblivious. She really had no idea how appealing she was. I felt myself growing defensive, wanting to shield her from anyone else's eyes.

From the moment we left my house I hadn't been able to keep my hands off of Bella. All that exposed skin was calling to me, and my brain was in complete overdrive as to what I would do with the chance to get her out of that dress. I wanted her so badly. It seemed pretty clear that she was feeling the same. I was glad when we finally left the restaurant and were on our way to the dance. The quicker we got there the quicker we could leave, which was just fine with me. We could skip it, as far as I was concerned. In the parking lot, Jasper hung back with me and we watched our girls as they walked in front of us. They were talking quietly and laughing, it was quite clear that they were best friends - and neither Jasper or myself would interfere with that bond. Bella reached her arm out and pulled Alice in close, the cuddled up to each other and then Alice leaned up to whisper something in Bella's ear. The moment seemed intimate, their closeness was tangible. I noticed that Jasper was suddenly quiet, and when I looked over at him, he was wearing a strange expression. It was a mix of awe and lust.

"Are you okay, man? You got real quiet all of a sudden."

He gestured toward Alice and Bella, who were still standing very close together, talking.

"They look so good, and then when they were just leaning into each other like that. I'm sorry, I know she's your girlfriend - but that was incredibly hot. I just got lost for a minute, imagining the possibilities."

I stared at him for a minute. He was still wearing the same expression, and the knowledge that what he was imagining was obviously sexual - and included my sister, my girlfriend, and probably himself - made me rather disgusted.

"Jazz , you do realize that that is my sister, and my girlfriend. I think you seriously need to halt that fantasy right there."

"Hey, I can't help it, they're damn sexy - and neither of them is my sister." I was momentarily stunned when he left my side, walked directly between Alice and Bella and slipped an arm around each of their waists. As he began leading them toward our cars, Bella looked over her shoulder and gave me a playful wink before settling herself in a little closer to Jasper's side. That girl was nothing but trouble.

I ran to catch up with them. I quickly pulled Bella away from Jasper's evil clutches, shooting him a death glare as I did. He laughed and then placed a tender kiss on the top of Alice's head.

"So, are you going to let us in on your big plans Edward?" Alice asked.

"Nope. They are top secret. I am not telling you anything."

"Are you even going to show up at the prom?"

"Yes, we will. How long we stay is another question." Jasper gave me an appreciative nod. I rolled my eyes.

"I assume you are going to make it home sometime tonight, correct?"

"Maybe. Well, probably. Yes. Why?"

"Well, I was able to arrange some more suitable sleeping arrangements for this weekend. I figured you would be glad to know that."

"Nice, how did you swing that?"

Alice shrugged. She was good at keeping secrets as well.

The car ride to the school would be quick. We were only a few miles away. It felt like my body was completely humming. Her little stunt of snuggling up to Jasper made me insanely jealous, and also made me want her even more, if such a thing were possible.

"Are you going to let me in on your plans for later, or are they a secret from me too?"

Bella's hand was on my thigh. She had her legs crossed, and the slit in her dress was revealing an ample amount of her upper leg. I was distracted by the sight of her. Had she asked me something?

"What?" I replied, completely lost.

When she realized where my eyes were locked, she adjusted herself slightly on the seat. Her dress rode slightly higher up her thighs. I swallowed. My mouth was watering. Bella placed a finger under my chin and tilted my face up. She repeated her question once she was sure she had my attention.

"Bella, I promise you will find out my plans soon enough. Let's get inside."

"We don't have to go in. We could just get to the surprise, if you want." She really shouldn't have said that. I was tempted to start the car back up and head out. I also knew that this was an experience Bella would miss if we didn't at least go in for a few minutes.

"Get out of the car, Bella. We'll just stay for a little while okay."

I opened her door and helped her out of the car. I felt like the luckiest man in the world to be able to walk with her on my arm.

Everything about the prom was the same as last year. Tacky decorations, half drunk girls who were already starting to just look sloppy. There was a DJ who looked younger than most of the seniors in attendance. He seemed to only have one style of music on hand and it was all blaringly loud hip-hop. It really wasn't making for much of a dancing mood. As I had predicted, we were pretty much the best dressed couples here. Alice had been right when she had told Bella not to get a dress at the mall. Many girls we passed were in the same dress, and the horrible rental tuxes were everywhere. Alice and Bella looked mature and classy by comparison. Alice seemed to be enjoying making small talk with some of her friends. Bella, Jasper and I hung back. Some people came to talk to us, and we mingled a little here and there. Bella never let go of my hand. I was well aware of all the guys that were checking Bella out. I knew why they were looking, I couldn't blame them - but it still pissed me off. After an hour, the four of us found ourselves sitting at a table in the corner. Jasper kept leaning over and whispering things to Alice. I happen to know it takes a lot to make my sister blush - but she was blushing now. I knew by the looks on both of their faces that they would be out the door pretty soon.

"It looks to me like those two are going to be leaving momentarily." I glanced at Jasper and Alice. She had moved onto his lap and was removing his tie. Yeah, they weren't going to last another five minutes.

Bella nodded.

"Have you had enough prom fun for one lifetime?" I had actually been to the prom last year as well. It had been just as unappealing then.

"Yes. I'm glad we came in, but I am definitely ready to go. I've been dying to have you to myself all week."

I gently patted Alice on the shoulder.

"Okay, sister of mine. We are leaving. Will we see you later?" Alice jumped off of Jasper's lap and started pulling him towards the door.

"Yes. We'll be back home later." She emphasized the word later and then I think she winked at Bella.

I hurried Bella back to the car. She tried to linger outside the door, I knew she was hoping I would kiss her. I kissed her quickly and gently pushed her down into the car. There would be plenty of time for me to kiss her, but now that the night had finally come to this, now that the moment had arrived I was in a hurry to get to the surprise.

I started the car and pulled out of the parking light. I pulled over on the first side street and brought the car to a stop.

"Is this the surprise?" Bella looked out the window, she was concentrating - as if she was trying to decide what might be special about the anonymous bi-level I happened to pull up in front of.

I laughed.

"No this isn't the surprise. Gee Bella, give me a little bit of credit."

I worked my tie loose and let it fall into my lap. Bella smiled and I leaned over to caress her cheek with my finger tips. I enjoyed watching her shudder at my gentle touch. I was definitely not the only one with needs. I'd be quite willing to give her everything she wanted, if we could just get to the damn surprise.

"Would it be okay if I blindfolded you? I want it to be a surprise, and I am afraid you'll guess if you watch where I'm driving to."

She stared for a moment, as if she were debating whether or not that would be okay. When her gaze settled on the tie in my lap, I knew she would allow it.

"Yes. But I am holding you to the boy scout thing - no funny stuff while I'm all blind and defenseless."

She leaned in and allowed me to wrap my black silk tie securely over her eyes. It was an incredible turn-on to blindfold her. As I stared at her in the seat next to me, her body very tense, anticipating what would happen next, I felt the love I had for her burning in my heart. I leaned in and surprised her with a warm wet kiss. She sighed softly as I pulled away.

"Sit back and relax. We'll be there soon. I love you Bella."

"I love you too. Believe me - I wouldn't be sitting here like this if I didn't."

I pulled back out onto the road and made my way to our destination. I made a few extra turns here and there - in the hope that she wouldn't have any idea where we were headed. I silently hoped that everything would go perfectly. I hoped that all the preparation I had put into this would be worth it.

We pulled up and I brought the car to a stop. I held her hand and carefully helped her out of the car.

"We are going to walk for a little bit. It's all flat, but I will hold on to you. I'll never let you fall."

"Too late, Edward. I've already fallen." I gave her a quick kiss. Yeah, all that black silk was sexy. I wondered if she would let me leave the blindfold on after the necessity for having it was gone.

I guided her carefully, true to my word, she did not stumble once.

"Stand right here for a moment. I'll take the blindfold off in a moment."

I made a few minor adjustments to my work, but I was pleased overall. Everything was still perfect.

I walked back over to Bella. She was so breathtaking. That dress was made for her, I almost felt bad about getting it off of her. Almost. She was shivering slightly, although the weather was fairly warm. A small tendril of her hair was blowing in the breeze, coming to rest near her ear. I wrapped my arms around her, marveling once again at the fit of her body into mine. I gently brushed the stray hair behind her ear. She seemed so vulnerable as she stood, still unable to see. I feathered kisses up her neck, gently nibbling her skin with my teeth. I ran my hand up her smooth bare arm, a flush of goose bumps breaking out in the wake of my hand. I wanted to linger, to smell her, to not even say word - just hold her in my arms. I also wanted other things, and when Bella turned her head and locked her lips to mine, the urgency of the other things won out. She kissed me deeply, passionately, her tongue dancing in my mouth.

"Bella, I'm going to take the blindfold off now, but I want you to know, I thought it was incredibly sexy on you."

I gently removed my tie, and Bella looked around, her mouth slightly open as she took in her surroundings. My eyes were glued to her face, savoring her reaction, the flickering of emotion written there.

"Edward, this is absolutely amazing."

_**Next time - Where exactly are they - and what will they do there? Hmmm - I wonder. Thanks so much for reading! **_


	24. Prom part 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of all things Twilight. Including Edward Cullen (sigh).**

**AN: Yeah, yeah, yeah - you're all so smart - yes he took her to the meadow! (Where else would they go?) I hope you enjoy my version of Edward's meadow - lemony goodness awaits.**

_Chapter 24 - Prom Part 2 (or Uses For Chocolate Syrup)_

_(__Bella)_

I stared in wonder at the sight in front of me. I knew we had walked a little ways, and when I turned to look around, I wasn't surprised that the car was no where in sight. Edward was next to me, closely watching my reaction to his lovely surprise. I wasn't quite sure what my face was showing, but my heart was just about bursting with love for this man.

We were standing on the edge of a lovely clearing. The temperature was comfortable, still warm from the heavy sunlight that had poured down on this late spring day. There was a slight breeze and the air held the unique scent and freshness of the woods. We were actually standing in a very wooded area, with a small meadow stretched before us. I had no real concept of where we could be. I had tried to keep some sort of mental list of where we had turned, how far we were going - but Edward seemed to be throwing in a lot of unnecessary driving as well. The little area stretched before us was nice, but it was what Edward had done, that had me close to tears. I didn't even know what to say, how to come close to thanking him for everything. I wondered when he had even had the time.

The meadow was lit up by hundreds of little twinkling lights. They completely encircled the area, looking like a congregation of fireflies in the bushes and up along the trees. The little white lights glowed invitingly, shining softly on the make-shift bed in the center. There was some sort of mattress lying there, covered with plush looking blankets and pillows. Edward held out his hand and led me there. I kissed him softly before settling myself on the soft blanket. I lay back and looked up at the sky. The circular area that was revealed sparkled with stars. I heard gentle music begin to play, and I recognized the strains of a piano playing a song that Edward had often hummed to me.

Edward appeared, looking down at me, his hand extended.

"May I have a dance with the most beautiful woman in the world?" he asked quietly.

"I would love that. Is this your song? It sounds familiar."

"Yes it is. This CD is all music that I have composed."

He pulled me up gently, and then pulled me in close to his body as we moved to the music. We remained quiet as we danced, my head resting on his shoulder, he covered one of my hands with one of his. He used his other hand to slide up and down my side. He grazed my hips and then his hand lingered on my lower back. His touch was electric, and my body was dying to lay against him on the little makeshift bed.

"How do you like your surprise?" he breathed between the gentle kisses he was feathering over my shoulders.

"It is beyond amazing Edward. I can't imagine the time it must have taken you to do all of this. Thank you. It's so perfect with the music and the lights, and the bed." I looked up at him, trying to smile innocently after I mentioned the bed.

Edward pulled me closer as we danced. I was absolutely trembling with excitement and anticipation, and if I was being honest, a bit of nerves. I knew that I wanted to be with Edward, I knew everything it was pretty much possible to know about having sex - short of having actually committed the act, but I still had this gnawing feeling that somehow I might not be enough for him. I remembered the conversation I had with Alice, and I believe she was right about the connection Edward and I shared. We did seem like soul mates, having a bond and connection that was extremely strong considering that we had not known each other that long. I took a deep breath, and looked up into Edward's gorgeous face. He was smiling at me slightly. He looked as if he were wondering what I might be pondering so seriously. I smiled back at him, leaning up to gently kiss his lips. He responded, kissing me back with such tenderness that all my worries were forgotten.

Edward stopped moving, and I realized that the song we had been dancing to had ended. Another was beginning, when Edward bent low, and scooped me into his arms. He pulled me up to his lips as I laughed at his gesture. He pushed his lips to mine with more force, some of the earlier tenderness replaced with urgency. As he teased my mouth with his talented tongue, I could feel him walking us back over to the bed. He leaned down and placed me on it, never breaking the kiss. He leaned down over me, keeping most of his weight in his arms, I was desperate to have him closer, leaning tighter into my body. I grabbed at his jacket, trying to find enough purchase with my hands that he wouldn't be able to pull away. I was not able to succeed and sighed in frustration when Edward leaned back, away from me - grinning happily.

"Are you in a hurry Bella? We have all night you know, your coach isn't going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight." He pulled his suit jacket off as he spoke, folding it carefully over his arm and laying it at the foot of the bed.

"I'm not in a hurry. I just want to be close to you." I reached out to him again. He stood up and looked down at me, the sudden serious look on his face making me apprehensive.

"I know what this all looks like. I'm sure you probably think I brought you out here just for sex, and I am not going to lie and say I don't want that - you have to know how much I want the chance to be inside of you - but I did promise we could go slow. I didn't forget that. I really just wanted to be alone with you. That's why I brought you here. I would love to kiss you, hold you, be close to you - and if more than that happens - I would love it - but don't think that is all this was about. I love you, Bella. If it feels right to you, fine - otherwise I am happy to do whatever you feel comfortable with."

What a silly boy. As if I didn't want him to jump me right now.

"I know you would never push me into something I wasn't ready for. It is one of many things that I love about you. This is all perfect - and whatever else happens tonight will be perfect, too."

He seemed pleased by my response. I watched as he headed over to a cooler I hadn't noticed that was near the base of a large tree off to the right. I took a moment to take another long look at the beautiful meadow. It wasn't large, but the small grassy area was enchanting. With the stars twinkling overhead and the little lights surrounding us, I felt like I was in some sort of storybook glade. I half expected little wood sprites to come out and dance in the moonlight. It struck me again that I had no idea where we were. My happy little fairy thoughts suddenly gave way to the clichéd plot of many a horror movie. I realized we were teenagers, alone in the woods, on prom night, planning on having sex. Wow, if that wasn't an invitation for a knife-wielding deranged psycho-path who recently escaped a maximum security mental hospital, then what was.

I trusted Edward completely, but still felt compelled to ask.

"Um, Edward? Where exactly are we?"

He turned to look at me over his shoulder, pausing from his rummaging through the cooler. "We're in a meadow."

Duh! "Yes, I can see that. I meant where exactly is this lovely meadow located?"

He stood and walked over to where I was lying, his arms full of items.

"Well, honestly, we're at my home - sort of. My parents own quite a big plot of property. They built our house on one corner, they planned on selling parts off through the years, but they really enjoy not having close neighbors - so they've hung onto the property instead. Where we are right now is just one little bit of the seven acres that they own. It's a pretty short walk back to the house. I hope you aren't disappointed, I used to come out to this area a lot when I was younger - and somehow it came to mind recently when I've been thinking of you. No one would have any idea that we're back here. I checked last week, you can't really see the lights from the house. Not unless you were purposely looking for them. No one will know we're here - no interruptions. I promise."

I thought it was funny that he was worried I would be disappointed. If he knew the silly panic I had just had about being cut to ribbons while in the throes of ecstasy - he probably would have thought I was a complete idiot. Yet, somehow the knowledge that we were nestled safely on the Cullen's property was a tremendous relief. I relaxed, and went back to my happy little daydream about wood sprites.

Edward sat next to me and began assembling various food items. He had fresh strawberries, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate syrup, bottles of water, and some small dishes and napkins. Everything looked so delicious.

"I thought it might be nice to have some dessert. I wasn't sure exactly what you might be in the mood for, so I brought a few choices."

I picked up a cookie and took a bite. It was chunky, filled with chocolate chips and walnuts. It was incredibly good.

"These cookies are incredible. Try a bite." Edward took a nibble of the cookie I held up. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before swallowing.

"I'm glad you like the cookies. I made them at Jasper's yesterday. He made me leave half with him in exchange for use of the oven. He liked them too."

"You made these for me?" I was really beyond amazed at the planning and effort he'd put into all of this. It was overwhelming.

"Yep, I made the brownies too." He flashed my wonderful crooked smile. I leaned over and took a corner off of one of the brownies - they were perfect too.

"Let's see. Edward Cullen. Star baseball pitcher, valedictorian, pre-med college student, piano player, letter writer, tree climber, gentleman, fabulous kisser, baker extraordinaire. Have I missed anything? Is there anything you can't do?" I was half-teasing, everything I had said was completely true.

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I am not very good at being away from you - or keeping my hands off of you - how about that? Of course everything else you mentioned is true."

The humor in his tone told me he was joking.

Edward opened the chocolate syrup and poured a puddle of it onto one of the dishes. A speck of chocolate dripped onto his finger. I eyed it hungrily. I really wanted to help him get cleaned up. I pulled his hand to me and carefully licked the area clean. I brought his hand to my mouth and sucked the finger that had been messy, caressing him with my tongue. He shifted a bit next to me, I noticed the catch in his breathing.

"I'd really like to feed you some strawberries with chocolate - but I don't want to get anything on your dress." He looked at me with his eyebrows raised slightly. His expression told me how lame he knew his request was , but I was feeling generous - and also quite willing to get this show on the road.

"I will take my dress off, but you have to help and you have to take off your suit. We wouldn't want it to get chocolate on it either."

I was about to stand when Edward leaned over me and pulled my shoes off of my feet. He held his hand out to me and helped me to stand. He turned me so that my back was facing him. He began a slow torture of feather light kisses down the side of my neck. His hands were gently clasped around the tops of my arms. He slowly kissed his was down my neck and the top of my back. The trail that he was making with his tongue on the way to my dress caught the breeze, tingling my body with a cool chill. When he finally reached the zipper, I held my breath. He slowly pulled the zipper down and my dress fell, pooling on the ground at my feet.

I turned slowly toward Edward. I was now wearing only the black corset and panties that I had purchased with my dress. It was by far the sexiest clothing I owned. Edward looked like his eyes might bug out of his head.

"I am really sorry for my language, but you are fucking hot, Bella. Good God, I can't even - uh - just let me stare at you for a minute, okay?"

I let Edward stare away, loving the attention of his eyes roaming over my body. The cooling night air caressed my skin, exciting my senses further. When I couldn't take it any longer, I broke the silence.

"I believe we had a deal, so you have some clothes to get rid of, don't you?"

I stepped closer and began to work the buttons on his shirt open. His hands remained at his sides, his eyes glued on my body. I pulled his shirt off, I had seen Edward shirtless before - but it still never ceased to amaze me how sexy his sculpted chest and arms were. I began on his pants. As soon as they were unbuttoned and unzipped - his erection jutted forward, held back only by the black silk boxers he was sporting.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close to his body. I could feel his hardness pressing against me, and I wanted it. He kicked his pants off of his feet and then guided us back to the bed. He pushed me back against the pillows and sat beside me.

"Ready for dessert, love?" I nodded in response.

He dipped a strawberry into the chocolate syrup. He brought it to my waiting lips and I licked some of the chocolate syrup off of the end before taking a bite. Edward popped what was left into his mouth, chewing quickly. He brought a second strawberry to my mouth and some of the chocolate syrup dripped onto my skin just above my chest. Edward kept his eyes locked to mine as he dipped his head low and licked the chocolate off of my skin.

"Have I ever told you how much I like chocolate Bella." His lips were near my ear. I moaned quietly.

He went for another strawberry, this time teasing it in front of my lips, making me work my lips and tongue to gain access to the fruit. Edward groaned in satisfaction as I finally closed my teeth around the entire strawberry, nipping the tips of his fingers in the process.

"I want you so badly Bella."

"What are you going to do about it, Edward?" I asked, my voice purring with desire.

In response Edward pulled me up so that I was sitting. He reached behind my back and made quick work of the little hooks keeping the corset closed. It felt good to be able to take a proper breath. I lay back again.

Edward took the little dish of chocolate syrup and dipped his finger into it. He let the chocolate drizzle over my breasts. He then proceeded to lick every inch of me that had been covered in the sticky stuff. It felt so good to have his mouth on my body. My back arched as I tried to lift myself closer to his mouth. He slipped his chocolate covered finger into my mouth, allowing me to suck it clean.

He then drizzled chocolate into my belly button and proceeded to lap it up with long gentle strokes of his tongue. I couldn't control my breathing any longer. This slow torture was driving me insane.

"Do you want more Bella?" I nodded slightly, unable to make a verbal response. "Are you sure?"

Once again I nodded.

Edward moved his body down between my thighs. He kissed a line along the top of my panties and then snagged a finger into the thin strings at each side. He drew them down over my hips and off of my legs. I felt his lips on my thigh just above my knee. I shuddered when he started for my inner thigh, biting me gently as he moved. The simple knowledge of where he was heading was almost enough to drive me over the edge. When he finally arrived at his destination, he hesitated for a moment, tilting his head to look up into my face. His bronze hair was messy and as he looked up at me, his delicious body nestled between my thighs, I knew I had never wanted anything more in my life than him.

I was desperate to feel his mouth on me, for his tongue to invade me and taste the wetness that he had coaxed from my body. I twined my fingers into his hair and gently nudged him down, my ability to be patient a distant memory. Edward moved his head down, emitting a low sound, that almost resembled a growl.

And then, his tongue was touching my flesh, parting the soft folds of my skin with skill and care. His warm mouth suddenly felt like it was everywhere at once, licking, sucking and caressing me. My hips bucked up, no longer under my control. I felt his hand sliding up my thigh. He gently cupped my ass, curving my hips so he could have easier access to my warmth. I shuddered as I felt his fingers slide into me. He began a steady rhythm with his hands and his mouth. I then tilted my head back and simply stared at the glorious stars in the crystal clear night sky. I was utterly lost to the ministrations of Edward's mouth on my needy body. I couldn't hold myself together - I simply floated along with the stars as my body shattered. He teased and enticed until my body was overcome with a raging orgasm. I panted and cried out - glad for the privacy of the woods, words screaming out of my mouth. My toes clenched as the last waves of pleasure crashed over me.

When I was finally able to focus and was slowly coming out of the daze that all the pleasure had induced, I lifted my head to seek out my Edward. He was still in the same place, but his head was lifted and he was sitting up more conventionally. He was staring at my face, wearing an expression of great self-satisfaction. He was looking pretty proud of himself. I smiled at him and mouthed "thank-you", not trusting my voice.

Edward leaned up, resting himself snuggly in the cradle of my body. I could feel him through the silk boxers - hot, thick and hard. It didn't matter that I had just come so hard that my whole body had participated - I wanted him in me, now. He leaned up to my mouth and I kissed him hard, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. He moaned into my mouth, fighting to dominate the kiss. His hands traveled from my waist to my breasts as his hips began grinding into mine. The weight of him against me was delicious, the friction he was creating lower was maddening.

When he pulled back, his eyes showed his need. His breathing was ragged and fast. I cupped his cheek with my palm.

"Will you make love to me Edward? It's what I want, you haven't pushed anything. I love you so much, and I need to feel you inside of me. Please?" I didn't care that I was reduced to begging.

He leaned in and gently kissed my forehead.

"Are you sure you're ready now?"

"Yes."

I ran my hands down his muscled back, his smooth skin like satin beneath them. I tugged at his boxers, managing to pull them down a bit with my hands. Unfortunately, between his arousal and his body pressed so tightly to mine, I was not gaining much ground. He leaned back from me and made quick work of them, pressing himself tightly against me again, once they were gone. We kissed and held one another, Edward kept telling me over and over again how much he loved me. I lost myself in the moment. Everything was magnified out here. The sounds of night in the forest invaded my ears, coupling with Edwards words and sounds, to make a symphony. He smelled so good, and I hoped that when we were through that my body would be saturated with his scent.

Edward asked me again if I was sure - I was about ready to roll him onto his back and show him how sure I was. He then leaned away from me, and I almost shouted out in protest until I realized he was retrieving a small packet from the pocket of his suit coat. Wasn't I an idiot. For all of my mother's ranting about being careful, I couldn't believe I had let myself go this far with Edward without giving a single thought to protection. Thank goodness Edward had been a boy scout - that "be prepared" motto must have rubbed off on him.

In a moment he was back in place, and even though I was slightly sobered by the realization that I had nearly acted incredibly irresponsibly, I was anxious for him to enter me. Edward leaned into me, kissing me deeply. I could still taste the strawberries and chocolate in his mouth.

Edward leaned back, positioning himself carefully. He looked into my eyes as he slowly inched himself into me. He moved so carefully, and I was so wet and ready for him that there was little pain. He continued to gaze at my face and when he was completely inside of me, his entire body shuddered. I shifted my body slightly, aching for him to move, to mold me to his body - aching for him to take all that I was offering.

He began a slow sliding rhythm. His lips met mine and his tongue danced in my mouth, darting and retreating - mimicking the invasion of the rest of my body.

"You feel amazing Bella. I need to go slow, please let me make this last. I need to keep loving you." My gasps for breath were my only response.

If I had thought that he was torturing me with his mouth - it was nothing compared to the sensations he was creating now. His hands explored every inch of my skin, he marked me with his mouth and teeth, claiming ownership of my body. And he did own it - even if this bliss didn't last forever, even if there came a day when we were no longer together - he would always have an irrevocable claim.

I let Edward have his way for a while. Eventually the slow sweet rocking of his hips began pushing me toward the edge of insanity. I grabbed at his back and waist, urging him faster. He responded and my hips began meeting his, each thrust driving us closer to the edge. Soon we were jumping off, together.

The moment was pure ecstasy. I was weightless, spiraling down in a passion free fall. It is that moment when thought stops, breath stops, and you welcome the simple blissful oblivion. I had come before, by my own hand - or by another's hand or mouth - yet I had never achieved that moment, while completely connected to another soul. To have that moment of reckless abandon, while Edward clung to me, crying my name into the hollow of my neck, was pure magic.

When the shockwaves began to still, we simply lay there, our bodies still entwined. Edward was still remarkably hard, and it felt good to have him remain inside of me. I looked at him, gloriously flushed and sweaty - his hair wet and dark, his green eyes holding a deep contentment. It felt completely right to be cradled in his strong arms, and I wished, selfishly that I could stay here with him forever. He carefully slipped out of me, disposing of the messy evidence discreetly.

He lay back on the pillows and beckoned me into his arms. My hair had begun to fall out of Alice's carefully configured style, and I raked through it, freeing it from all the little pins that held it together. I shook it loose and slid over, carefully fitting my body against my lover's.

"Do you have any concept of how sexy I find you to be?" He had burrowed his face into my hair, his voice slightly muffled. He breathed deeply, "Your hair smells so good."

I moved my body closer, sighing slightly as he pulled his arms tighter around me. I was deliciously drowsy from our exertions.

"That was so incredible Edward. I can't even tell you how amazing that felt - you really are impressive."

My body shook gently as his body rocked with quiet laughter.

"You're pretty impressive yourself. I love you, I wanted it to be perfect for you, I hope it was.

"Perfect doesn't do it justice. Not by a long shot."

We settled into quiet as we lay together. I have never felt so loved in my life, and the protective shelter of Edward's arms seemed to shield us from the rest of the world, as if this moment really could go on forever.

We lay together for a very long time. I suspected we might have fallen asleep for a while. I couldn't be sure, I was still so blissed out that my brain couldn't be relied on. However, I was aware of a passage of time, and I was also aware that Edward was hard against my back again. I arched slightly, pushing my ass up against him firmly. He pushed back in response, the thrust of his hips was an incredibly erotic invitation.

Without speaking, I turned in his arms, his glorious hard-on now pushing into my stomach. I kissed his chest, licking the remaining sweat that still glistened there. I slid my hand down over him, earning a gutteral groan from my prince, and then I tangled my fingers into the glossy bronze strands of hair at his base. I pushed him back so that he was lying flat on his back. I found the bowl of chocolate syrup at the edge of the blanket. I rubbed a small amount on his length before licking roughly up his shaft. He threw his head back with a sigh.

"Edward, you need to watch. I want you to watch me put my mouth on you. I know you want to see my lips on you." He lifted his head up, eyeing me through his lowered lids.

I opened wide and took him in my mouth. He tasted like chocolate and sweat, and something else - slightly sweet and familiar. I took as much of him in my mouth as possible. It wasn't nearly enough - he was quite well endowed. I was lucky.

I continued sucking and stroking him until the need between my own legs began to grow too insistent. Poor Edward was simply fighting to hang on. I leaned up and straddled his glorious body.

"A little bird told me that the second time would be even better than the first. I can't imagine that being possible, but I am dying to find out." I smiled wickedly as I slid over him, desperate to slide him back into me.

He raised an eyebrow and gave me a sexy little smirk. "I agree, it's going to be hard to top earlier - but I say we give it a try." And then, he roughly grabbed my hips and sat me hard on his demanding length, as he thrust his hips up into mine.

I never wanted this night to end.

_**Hope you all enjoyed my little bit of steamy. For all who called me a tease - I hope you feel that I have delivered. Next chapter will be a cozy little slumber party with Alice, Jasper, Edward and Bella. Please let me know if you enjoyed - I do so appreciate your reviews!**_


	25. Itchy

_**Disclaimer: Twilight characters and story - created by Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**AN: Thanks a bunch for reading - and for making a mountain out of a molehill (Sorry - No pregnant Bella in this story) **_

_**To SmileLikeACullen - this one can really be just for you **__**(thanks). To all the mamas - I love your unique insights on things - and I appreciate not being the only person who has little ones at home, but is still obsessed with a certain Edward Cullen. (or Jasper or Carlisle or Emmett or Jacob as the case may be.)**_

_**More lemony content - be forewarned.**_

Chapter 25 - Itchy

(_Edward_)

It is not a lie when men claim to think too much with their dicks. We do. All the time. In fact, they are probably the real ones in control of our actions most of the time. It's not really an excuse, more like a simple fact. We were essentially created with a bent to procreation, so it isn't surprising, but it can get us into trouble, which is what was happening to me at the moment. I had pulled Bella down onto me, completely aware that I wasn't wearing a condom. It was a supreme moment of foolishness. She had been torturing me with her mouth, and I was on the verge of giving her a mouthful when she decided to straddle me as I lay on my back. I knew I should take a moment to wrap it up, but I was selfish. I needed to feel her, tight around me, to feel her hot and wet as she slid up and down on me with nothing between us. That is exactly what I got, and it was heaven.

I watched Bella as she rocked against me, her breasts bouncing slightly, mouth slightly open, eyes closed. I would definitely need to pull out in a minute. It was too good, and the fact that I had already been right at the edge minutes before when she had been sucking me off was not helping my control at all. Bella changed her rhythm slightly, riding me faster. I reached up and gently cupped her left breast, while sliding my other hand up to rest at her hip. I used my hand at her hip to pull her closer each time our hips met, thrusting up into her, creating a rougher sensation than the delicate slide she had started at. I closed my eyes and lay my head back, unable to do much more at the moment. The way she was making me feel was nothing short of earth shattering. I wasn't surprised when she began crying out loudly a moment later, feeling the faint sensation of her contracting on me as she rode out her orgasm. I had to smile as she came down from her ecstasy. She certainly had a set of lungs. I had teased her the other night about making her scream, and the man in me was loving the way she had cried out tonight. I was feeling pretty proud of the sounds I was coaxing from her, and I was relieved that I chose a location where we could be truly alone, and she could be so uninhibited. I wanted to make her call out, more. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to stop until she was completely hoarse from calling out my name.

As she lay against me, her heart flying against my chest, I gently rolled her so I could be on top. I was loving the way she let her legs fall to the sides, granting me all the access to her I could want. As much as I wanted to make her come again, I knew I needed to be careful, I didn't want to spill in her. I leaned down on Bella, my brain a complete fog. There was nothing left but the sensation of my body, pushed against her, penetrating her, the smell of her skin - glistening with sweat. As Bella arched her back slightly, inviting me deeper - I pulled away quickly, and with a few familiar strokes of my palm - I sprayed over her belly. I couldn't help feeling satisfied as I looked down at her, I had marked her, and she was mine.

Bella looked more than a little bit surprised as she realized what had just happened. I felt more than a little guilty, but not enough for me to regret what I had just done. It had felt incredible and I wasn't inclined to apologize when I hadn't even come inside of her.

"I can't believe I didn't even realize you weren't wearing anything. I guess that's what they mean by the heat of the moment. I am so sorry. If we are going to do this - I promise I will make sure we're more careful. As nice as it is to imagine me having your babies some day, I have no desire to get pregnant now."

She was so much more than I deserved. I couldn't believe she was apologizing. Had she just said she imagined having my babies? I knew it shouldn't please me so much that she said that, but I loved the idea of seeing her with a big swollen belly one day - and knowing that it was my child inside of her. I felt like an idiot, because I knew she was waiting for a response, and I was too busy just smiling to answer.

"Bella, please don't be sorry. I was the one who pulled you down onto me, and I knew I didn't have a condom on. It just felt so incredible to be in you - just me and you, with nothing in between us. But I also know that we are both very smart - so we can't be so stupid again. I didn't mean to just take chances with you. You do crazy things to my brain. Please forgive me, I won't do that again."

"It is more my fault, but you are right. We can't afford to be reckless. You have so much school in front of you, and I have plans as well. Plans that don't include me running around with a baby on my hip."

I helped Bella get cleaned up. I was glad that I had the foresight to pack water and towels. We settled into a comfortable silence, the silence merely between us, as the forest around us was alive with its nightsong. I felt so grateful for how this night had gone. I had hoped Bella would let me make love to her, we both seemed quite aware that that was where this was heading, but I wouldn't have forced anything she wasn't ready for. It felt so good to know that this is what she had wanted too, and that she had enjoyed it. She was incredible. Her every move gave me pleasure when I was inside of her, and she knew exactly the kinds of things I liked. The more I thought of how perfect it felt to be in her, the more I wanted it again. I felt a bit like a crazed animal. I hadn't been entirely teasing her when I had asked if she was really ready to give me everything I wanted. If she knew that what I wanted was to have her over and over and over again - she may have declined.

We began to get dressed slowly. Neither of us wanted to end the magic of the night. I think we would have stayed longer, or at least I was willing to stay longer - but we were in the woods and the bugs and bats had come out to play. I was sure the lights were attracting the bugs, which in turn were causing some bats to have a field day, dipping and diving in the circle of sky above us. I had sprayed the area with repellent earlier in the day when I was setting everything up, in the hopes of keeping the bugs at bay, but the protection must not have lasted, and we were too wrapped up in each other to notice much else. Bella was a trooper, she didn't start screaming about rabies or throw her hands up to cover her hair, but I could tell that our uninvited guests were breaking the magical spell that the night had started under, and Bella had had enough of the great outdoors. I helped Bella refasten the sinfully sexy corset that she had been wearing, enjoying the reason it gave me to caress her satiny skin. That was when I noticed the little bumps on her shoulder. I leaned down for a closer look and noticed there were more on her arm. They were mosquito bites and the closer we inspected each other we found that we were both covered in them, and there were still several of the nasty little blood-suckers hovering in the air around us. We tossed our clothes on more quickly, and I decided I would come back tomorrow to clean things up. Now we just needed to get in the car, into an enclosed area where all the insects couldn't get at us.

The funny thing about bug bites is that when you don't know they are there, they don't bother you at all. The trouble starts when you are aware of them. If you suddenly realize they're there, the urge to scratch starts to develop. As I helped Bella into the car, I noticed she had already begun scratching some of her bites, and an area of her arm was very pink - the bumps of the mosquito bites standing out clearly. Of course, that led me to start itching also.

"When we get home, we'll jump in the shower. That should help. I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't realize the bugs would be so bad. I didn't even realize how bad it was until we started getting dressed."

To my surprise, she laughed.

"Edward, you just gave me the most wonderful night of my life. I loved every minute, and a few bug bites are not going to change anything. In fact, the mosquitoes and bats are just going to make it that much more memorable. And when you say 'we'll' jump in the shower, did you mean together? Because I am definitely voting for that plan."

"I think I could find a way to sneak you in with me. I would love nothing more."

The thought of her naked body against mine under the hot spray of the shower, slippery with soap, made it a necessity to take a deep breath. Cue the crazed animal, ladies and gentlemen.

Bella's voice called me out of my happy little fantasy.

"Would you think I was horrible if I told you that I imagined you in your shower the first night I met you?" I noticed she was blushing. I gently caressed her red cheek.

"Only if you think I was horrible for having the best dirty dream of my life, about you - the same night." It felt like my cheeks just got a little pink too.

"Really? What exactly did you dream?"

"We were on my bed, naked and you were telling me about how much you wanted to go down on me, and then you were jerking me off. It was incredibly good. In fact, that lovely image has helped me on several nights when I was horribly lonely for you up at school."

"And how did tonight, the real thing, compare to your dream?" She was purring her words to me again. God help me, she was going to kill me.

"It didn't compare. Tonight was infinitely better. Nothing will ever compare to the feel of your body against mine."

We were back at my house in under five minutes. Bella laughed when she realized how close we really were. I took a moment to look at her before we headed inside. She was still a bit flush from the sex, her hair tumbled and in disarray, her beautiful dress wrinkled. She had never looked more beautiful to me. Being close to her tonight had made the love I felt for her so much stronger, I was hoping she knew how much this night meant to me.

I decided the best plan to sneak into the shower with Bella would be to lead anyone questioning to believe we would be showering - but in separate bathrooms. Then no one would come looking and we wouldn't have to explain why we both had wet hair. We ran into my mom in the living room. She had a stack of papers in front of her - she was finalizing the details for the hospital's annual charity bazaar that she had organized for the past four years. My mom was incredible with things like that, she had a knack for planning, organization, and getting people to do her favors. She was a charmer, it was no wonder Alice was such a pro at being a bit manipulative.

She looked up when we came in. I noticed the way she eyed our appearance, the fact that we were obviously not as fresh and starched as when we left earlier in the evening. Thankfully, she didn't comment on it.

"How was your night? Did you enjoy the prom?"

Bella nodded. "It was very nice. Edward was a wonderful date."

"Good. Alice and Jasper just got back about ten minutes ago. They seemed to have a lovely night as well. You all looked incredible. I'm sure you were the most beautiful girls at the dance." She smiled warmly at Bella. My mother doesn't just dole out compliments freely, she never says anything that she doesn't genuinely mean. I could tell how much she liked Bella.

Bella blushed a bit, but returned the smile.

"Yes, they absolutely were. Of course, I think Bella is the most beautiful girl no matter where we are." My heart skipped as Bella looked up at me shyly through her lashes. My mom chuckled softly as she watched us.

"Sometimes you are just too much, my son. I see you have picked up the art of flattery from your father."

I shrugged, she was right - my dad was pretty good with the lines. Yet, like my father - I was not insincere, and the words I said to Bella were completely from my heart.

"I think we're going to head upstairs and get ourselves into something more comfortable. Bella's going to use Alice's shower. We'll be down in a little while."

My mom gave me another appraising look. It was obvious that she had a pretty good idea of what might go on upstairs, but she again chose not to comment. I realized I have never given my mom enough credit.

Bella and I made a bee line for my room. I had no intention of running into my dad, and Jasper and Alice wouldn't care if they saw us both go into my room together. I started the shower and then left the bathroom to turn some music on. I grabbed some flannels, boxers and clean towels and went to join Bella. Knowing she was in there, wet and naked made me hard instantly. I was also incredibly itchy and couldn't wait for the relief of some cool water on my skin.

I stepped into the shower, taking in Bella's lovely form as she stood under the jet of water, rinsing her hair. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, leaning in to kiss the wet skin of her neck. I grabbed the soap and proceeded to wash her glorious skin. When she was completely slick and soapy I rubbed up against her again, loving the feel of her as she slid against me.

"Are you sore from earlier?" My voice came out low and rough, my desire obvious.

Bella shook her head. "No, why?"

I moved my hips against her, letting her feel the raging erection I was sporting. She moaned quietly in response.

"I want you again. I can't get enough of you." I continued grinding against her, realizing that if she denied me I could probably finish myself off by simply rubbing against her slick soapy skin.

She turned her face towards me and kissed me, hard. She wasn't going to deny me anything.

I pushed her up against the wall of the shower, angling her upper body forward slightly, so her breasts were pushed up against it. I grabbed her hands and pulled her arms up over her head, I gathered her wrists into one of my hands - holding them against the wall. She spread her legs slightly, and then propped her fine ass up slightly, invitingly.

"Are you wearing something?" It was almost a whisper. I smiled, glad we were keeping up our promises to be more responsible.

"Yes love, I am all ready for you. Are you ready for me?" Bella let out a small whimper that sounded like a strangled yes - evidently I wasn't the only one feeling a bit needy.

I positioned myself behind her and gently thrust into her. I was able to get so much deeper than when we were in the meadow. I started in on a steady pump right away - eager to make her fly once again. The feel of her, the feel of the water pouring down - it was almost maddening. I didn't feel spent from our earlier sex, I felt hungry - as if the more I got, the more I wanted.

"I love to hear you moan and scream, love - but we'll have to be a little quieter here, okay?" A gentle nod was her only response.

As I guided her hips back down against me, she began meeting me thrust for thrust - our wet skin slapping together. I slid my hand down between her legs, guiding her to her release.

"Kiss me Edward, now!" she demanded. I leaned in closer, my body now completely sheathed in hers. As my lips covered hers she moaned into my mouth as she came violently. I followed right after, my head spinning as I came deeply inside of her.

"I love you so much Bella." I nuzzled into her neck while I continued to express my love for her.

We finished our shower and dressed. I had intended to remain shirtless, until I saw haw obvious all the bug bites were on my chest and back. I threw on a t-shirt before heading back downstairs.

Alice and Jasper were in the family room and I had to laugh when I saw what they were doing. They had moved the couch back and they were setting sleeping bags up on the floor. Four of them.

"So, this is the new sleeping arrangement? I'd rather sleep in my comfortable bed to tell you the truth."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Fine, but if you decide on the bed, you'll be alone - here you can at least be next to Bella. It was the most I could get mom and dad to agree to. You should be grateful."

I did have to agree that sleeping next to Bella was worth the discomfort of the floor.

"What's on your arm Bella?" Alice was eyeing the patch of bites that Bella had been itching.

"Nothing, just some mosquito bites." Alice and Jasper both turned to look at me. Alice was looking inquisitive, Jasper simply wore a knowing smirk.

"Oh really? Do you have some bug bites too Edward? Where did you two go, hiking in the dark?"

Bella laughed. "What can we do to help get this all set up?" Way to change the subject.

Alice gave her a look and they exchanged some sort of wordless conversation that I took to mean that they would discuss things later.

Once our bedding area was all arranged we went downstairs to play some pool. Our first game was couples verse couples, but Bella hadn't been lying when she said she really wasn't much of a pool player. Actually, that was an understatement - she was awful, and we lost the game quickly. The next game, Alice and I teamed against Bella and Jasper. This round was a bit more even, as Jasper plays better than the rest of us. They won, barely - solely through Japer's effort. He tried to teach Bella a few things, and when he leaned into her to show her how to position the stick or line up a shot - I had the urge to punch him in the face. We played boys against girls for the last round - and Bella and Alice were beaten. Bella at least improved enough that she made a few decent shots in the last round. It was fun for all of us to hang around together. I had noticed it when we were out together before, we all got along really well - we had lots to talk about and laugh about. When I was with Rosalie, we hadn't hung out with Alice much at all.

Later we went up to watch a movie. Alice and Bella ran to raid the fridge for snacks. I had a feeling Alice intended to get Bella to spill her guts about what we had done after leaving the dance. Jasper and I picked through the DVD collection, looking for something entertaining that we hadn't already watched a hundred times.

"So how did it go tonight?"

I didn't respond, pretending to be too preoccupied by the vast array of movies in front of me. I knew Jasper was waiting for an answer. He was a good guy, I knew once he found out whether or not we had sealed the deal he'd back off. Neither of us were the "kiss and tell" kind.

"It went well. Better than I had planned, even." I couldn't control the smile that began twitching at the corners of my mouth. Jasper laughed, knowing he had his answer.

"Very nice." That was all that he said.

When the girls came back in, Bella was still very pink in her cheeks. It was never easy to be on the receiving end of one of Alice's interrogations. We started the movie and began settling in to the quiet. We all seemed tired, and I knew there was no way Bella would make it through the movie. My parents came in to say goodnight. They found our little slumber party amusing.

We turned out the lights and I pulled Bella in close to my side. She already had her head on her pillow, her eyes starting to strain to remain opened. Alice looked just as close to dreamland.

I gave up watching the movie and simply focused on Bella's rhythmic breathing, the small smile playing on her lips. She and Alice were already dead to the world and the movie wasn't even halfway over.

"Is she asleep, Edward?"

"Yup, out like a light. How about Alice?"

"She's sleeping too. I'm kind of beat - do you want to keep watching or turn it off?"

I told him we should just turn it off. Just as we were about to click off the television I heard Bella start making some quiet noises. I thought she must have woken up and left the tv on so I would have light to see her face. She rolled towards me, and it was obvious she was still asleep. She was talking in her sleep, and I wished I could understand what she was saying. Jasper realized what was going on.

"Does she always talk in her sleep?"

"I don't know, I have never heard her do it before. I wish I could understand what she was saying - it's kind of faint and jumbled."

He nodded, leaning over a bit, hoping to catch some more of what she was saying.

Then, to my amazement, Bella moaned loudly and said, "Oh, Edward, yeah - just like that." Clear as anything, plenty loud enough for Jasper to hear.

My stunned silence was interrupted by a loud peel of laughter from Jasper. "Way to go, loverboy."

He was still laughing as he lay down and snuggled into Alice's neck, throwing his large arm over her tiny frame protectively.

I stared at Bella for another moment in the glow of the tv. She was dreaming of me.

I clicked off the television, plunging the room into darkness. Alice was right - this was much better than being in my comfortable bed alone.

_**Thanks so much for reading - as always. Review if you'd like - I always appreciate your thoughts. **_


	26. A Mother's Intuition

_**Disclaimer - All the Twilight story lines and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**AN: Thanks to everyone who has been reading - and hello to those of you from Twilighted - you ladies ROCK! Thanks to those who have left anonymous reviews that I can't reply to - I appreciate your thoughts and hate not being able to write you back!! **_

_**Enjoy.**_

Chapter 26 - A Mother's Intuition

(_Bella)_

Sometimes our bodies betray us. Mine was doing a lot of that lately. First, I was blushing constantly, of course I always had a tendency to blush, but the things Edward had taken to whispering in my ear as of late were staining my cheeks permanently crimson. I had to laugh - he might be quite a gentleman outwardly, but there was certainly a whole other side to that boy. I loved it! Second, my body had taken on the tendency to get ready for sex if I simply thought about Edward, the familiar wetness becoming a daily part of my life - which of course pleased Edward's lovely male ego to no end. Third, I had begun talking in my sleep again. This was the most embarrassing of all. The other two were bad enough - but what do you do when you fall asleep and no longer have control of what comes blurting out of your mouth. I had done a lot of sleep talking in my younger days, much to my parent's amusement. It was a habit that I thought I had grown out of, until prom night when my very vivid dreams were broadcast to both Edward and Jasper. Between Alice's interrogation in the kitchen that night, and Jasper hearing my dreams, they both knew what Edward and I were up to.

I was really enjoying having Edward home from school and so close. He was now driving me back and forth to school, which was unnecessary, but nice all the same. He picked me up a little early each morning so that we could steal some kisses before school started for the day. Sometimes it was a very big challenge for me to drag myself out of his car and say goodbye before the bell rang. It was a routine I quickly got used to. Seeing Edward so often seemed to be making us even closer, which made me glad as I had worried if he would get tired of me if we were together more often.

It was the last week of school. We would have tests next week, but since you didn't need to be in class all the time - it wasn't considered an official week. I realized that I would actually miss a few of the friends I had made in the few months I was here. Of course, Alice would be with me all summer, and my roomie next year - and it was a relief to know we would still be close. She meant the world to me. She was more like a sister than a friend. Graduation was next Saturday, and the Cullens had invited me to have a joint party with Alice, which my mom agreed to. We didn't have a big extended family, and I probably would have wound up with Edward and Alice anyway. My mom and Esme had gotten busy planning and she was spending nearly as much time at the Cullen house as I was.

Today, Edward was bringing me to school and my mom was picking me up to take me out to the bookshop she had found, and out to dinner. We hadn't had a lot of 'Bella/Mom' time recently. She wasn't used to sharing me with a friend like Alice, and having a boyfriend at the same time made my time even scarcer. I knew she had been looking forward to this day all week. I also knew she had lots on her mind to talk about, some of which I wasn't sure I was really ready to discuss with her. I decided to not be anxious and just see how the night went, dealing with whatever topics she brought up as they came.

I kissed Edward one last time as I gathered my things to head in to school.

"Remember, I am going out with my mom later. I guess I won't see you tonight."

He frowned and nodded.

"I know, I already miss you. I know it's pathetic. Call me when you get home, so I can say goodnight, okay?"

I kissed him again. "I will. You know I couldn't stand not to hear your voice before I go to sleep. What are your plans for the afternoon?"

He ran a hand through his sexy hair and shrugged.

"My mom has a whole list of things I need to do around the yard. I also need to wash my car and then I might go see a movie with Jasper and Alice."

I imagined him getting all sweaty doing yard work on this warm June day. He'd probably be sticky and dirty, and his shirt would definitely be off. Good thing I had other plans this afternoon. Otherwise, I would have to drive by to watch, and that would only lead to trouble.

He gently brushed his fingertips across my cheek, breaking me out of my daydream.

"What has you so lost in thought, beautiful?"

I blushed. "Just thinking about you getting all sweaty working in your yard. It was a very nice image." I replied honestly.

He smirked back. "I'll probably be more dirty and stinky than sexy - but you go with whatever works for you."

I laughed and kissed him again, groaning as I pushed the door open.

"I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go, but it's only a few more days, and then you will be free of high school forever."

"Not soon enough." I pouted.

He gave me one more lingering kiss, and just as I was preparing to lick his lips and deepen the kiss, he gently pushed away, and then was out of the car and at my door, pulling me out.

I stopped before entering the building. I waved as Edward drove away. I was so in love with him.

My mom was waiting in the parking lot after school. I had half expected Edward to be waiting as well, just to say bye, but he wasn't. He had sent me several texts during school, which generally detailed just how hot and sweaty he was getting. And he called me a tease!

Our ride to the bookshop was pleasant. We were catching up, and it felt good to just be with my mom and enjoy her company. We left the radio off, simply because we generally couldn't agree on what to listen to. Instead, I received a full update on the preparations for the graduation party. It sounded like it was going to be amazing. She told me about her lead on a job for September. The next district over would be in need of a Kindergarten teacher, and she felt she had a very good shot at it. I hoped it would work out, I worried about her being lonely next year when I wasn't around as often.

The bookshop was fantastic. The owner, a little old man named Marcus, began talking with us after we had been browsing the shop for an hour. He was incredibly sweet and helpful and had a vast knowledge about all the books in his shop. By the time we were ready to leave, he was a friend. I had been so lost going through all the treasures in the store, that I hadn't realized so much time had passed. Marcus had been impressed by my interests, and the books that I chose to purchase.

"It's so nice to see a young lady with such an interest in books, especially all this classic literature." He smiled at my mom and nodded. "Your parents did well with you."

He shook hands with my mom and was a bit stunned when I gave him a quick hug before we left.

"I am definitely coming back here soon. This store is wonderful. And Marcus, oh - he reminded me so much of Grampa Swan."

My mom agreed as we got back in the car. "He was certainly taken with you, dear. You should definitely stop back and visit."

We ate dinner at a little out of the way café a few blocks from the bookshop. My mom has a knack for finding little offbeat places to eat. She likes things to be small and intimate, she absolutely hates places like Friday's - she feels eating at a place like that is completely overwhelming. Sometimes her view of things made me laugh. I actually liked that anonymity of a bigger place, where I was free to blend in to my surroundings, instead of being the only people in a place and feeling like a bug in a jar occupying everyone's attention. But this was my mom's night, and I was happy to go wherever she chose. The little restaurant had enough patrons, but wasn't crowded. Whatever they were serving, you could smell from down the block, and it was divine. My stomach grumbled as we headed in.

A young man seated us at a cozy table in a corner. The restaurant was chock full of old kitchen gadgetry, every spare surface and shelf covered with blenders, coffee percolators, mixers, spoons, spatulas - you name it. I knew immediately that it would become a favorite of my mom's. We ordered our food, my mom and I both chose some sort of salad that was the café special - chock full of greens, veggies, and chicken. As I started in on my soda - my mom started in on her questions and I knew that once she started in, I was going to be doing a lot of talking.

"Bella, you know that your father and I really like Edward?"

"Yes, although I think you might feel a bit more positive than dad - sometimes he looks like he's fighting the urge to go grab his gun when Edward pulls in the driveway."

"He's trying. You have to give him credit for that. He has told me he thinks Edward's very responsible - and I know your father is impressed by how smart he is. You'll always be his little girl - that is just the way your father is. It's going to take a while before he gets used to the idea of sharing your heart. That's not an easy thing to do."

I nodded. My father had been pretty good about Edward. I knew my mom was right.

"I noticed something the other day, and I don't want to pry - but I am your mom - I think it's my duty."

I quickly raced through items in my brain - trying to decide what my mom could have noticed. We were really careful about locking my door and being quiet, evidence was always disposed of carefully…of course Edward had given me a monster hickey above my right hip last week - but I'd been pretty careful to keep it covered up. Maybe it didn't have to do with Edward? Maybe it was something else entirely?

My mother was staring at me. No doubt wondering if I was going to bother replying.

"Um, what did you notice exactly?" Might as well just get it over with.

"I know we have had a lot of talks about sex Bella. I know you aren't a child, and it is more than obvious that you and Edward are crazy for each other. I was eighteen once myself - and you see how your father and I are now - imagine how much worse we were when we were your age!" I cringed - not really wanting to picture my parents as sex-crazed teenagers.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with whatever it is that you noticed?"

My mom looked like she had spaced out for a moment. I was quite sure she had gotten lost for a moment, remembering her younger self - crazy in love with my dad. They were still crazy in love.

"Oh, yes. Well, I noticed that you had a prescription for birth control pills. Don't ask me how I came across it - it wasn't intentional, sort of." She shrugged, offering no further reason as to how she had found out. I could feel my cheeks pinking up yet again. "So, although I am certainly pleased you seem to be serious about protecting yourself from pregnancy, I do feel compelled to wonder if this is a necessity - or preparation for the future. I mean - are you and Edward having sex, Bella? I certainly have my thoughts - but I was hoping you might feel like you could tell me."

I sat for a moment. Our food had arrived and was sitting - still untouched. I held up a finger, signaling to my mom that I needed a second. I definitely needed a second to collect my thoughts. I took another long sip of my drink as I let my brain mull things over. I had gone on the pill. We had been extremely careful ever since that first night in the meadow. Even so - I wanted to know I had as many bases covered as possible. I did love Edward, but we weren't ready to be parents, and I wasn't going to be stupid enough to let it happen by accident. I wasn't surprised that my mom found out - she finds everything out, you can not keep a secret from her. I was sure she knew most of what Edward and I were up to from day 1. So what was I going to say to her? 'Yes, Edward and I are having wild sex every chance we get. He is utterly amazing in bed and well hung to boot. Glad you asked.' No, I doubted she wanted to hear that, true as it might be. I was eighteen. I wasn't a child. My mom already knew what was going on. That much was obvious.

I had always been able to share things with my mom. No, I didn't want to share intimate details about the things I was doing with Edward, but I did feel like I could at least give her an answer.

I swallowed and began talking, "Yes, Edward and I have been together, we've had sex. I love him mom, you know that. I was never with Jacob or anybody else. We are being careful, and if it's okay with you - I'd really rather not discuss anything else about it." I spoke quietly, looking down at the checkered table cloth.

My mom reached over and gave my hand a squeeze. Then she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, picked up her fork and started on her salad. I let out a breath and began to eat also.

"Thanks for telling me Bella. I have always tried to be the kind of mom that you could tell anything to, and I know that's easier when you are little and your biggest concerns are a skinned knee or a fight with your friend over sharing toys - the fact that you would still confide in me - I love you very much Bella. You are an amazing daughter. Edward is a very lucky man to be with such a beautiful, smart and caring woman."

I could feel my eyes tearing up. I looked up from my salad and my mom winked at me. I smiled back.

"I love you too mom. You are a great mom - and that's the reason I was able to tell you."

"I won't bring it up again - but I will say this - he better keep treating you right. And if you ever have any questions - well I do happen to know a thing or two." She trailed off and I just shook my head. She was unbelievable.

"Thanks for the offer, but don't hold your breath, okay?"

We both laughed then. We finished our dinner, with much lighter conversation. We shared some chocolate mousse for dessert and when we had finished our coffee we headed home. I had enjoyed my time with my mom, almost a bit relieved that we had had our little talk. I was missing Edward.

"Mom, how did you know dad was the right one for you?"

"I just knew. I couldn't stand to be away from him, he made me laugh, when he held me it felt like the rest of the world disappeared - it still does. He made me see myself through his eyes, helped me to see the wonderful things that he sees. Your father is a good man - right down to his soul, and he has always put me first - ahead of everything else. And it's changed with time. When he began his work, I was always stunned by the amount of compassion he was able to show the families of the poor victims he helps. When you were born, he became the most caring, careful father. He used to get up at night when you were a baby and just sing to you for hours. There were times I would just sit outside your door and listen, teary-eyed. I just knew, Bella. You will too. They don't make a lot of men like your dad."

"You know I'm not that girl, the one who gets pregnant and married right out of high school. It's just that Edward has this crazy effect on me. I thought I was falling in love with Jake before we left. I was so sad that first week. But with Edward - it's like I can't even imagine a world without him by my side - I don't even want to try. I don't want you to think we're talking about getting married, we're not running off to Vegas or anything, I promise. It's just that, it feels like we were meant to be, and I feel like, in this day and age where most people wouldn't even consider anything serious until they are in their late twenties - I feel like I am being a fool. Mom, am I insane to be so in love with him already, so soon? It scares me."

"Bella, you aren't a typical girl, and from what I see - Edward isn't typical either. You don't need to worry right now about what will happen ten years down the road, or even five years down the road. Sometimes it's enough just to be in love, and to let that love carry you where it will."

We were quiet for the rest of the ride, as the dark of night settled outside the car window.

When I was on my way to bed I gave my mom a hug and thanked her for the night.

"Bella, remember what I said - in the car? How they don't make a lot of men like your dad? I think Edward's one of those kind of guys. Sleep well, honey."

I smiled at her words. She was right, Edward was rare, and precious - and thankfully, mine.

As I snuggled under my blanket, I waited for Edward to answer his phone. I missed him so much.

"Hi beautiful, I was waiting for you to call. How was your time with your mom?"

"I miss you." Just hearing his soothing voice made my heart react.

He laughed. "I miss you too. I'll be there first thing in the morning to pick you up. I'm exhausted, I think my mom should pay me a gardening fee. I even cleaned the pool out. You should have been there for that. I could have put on a Speedo and you could've pretended I was your little cabana boy."

I laughed loudly. "Please tell me you don't really own a Speedo." I barely got the words out through my giggles.

"Wouldn't you like to know. Maybe I do. Maybe I have a little black one that I swim laps in. After all that laughing you'll never know. Too bad for you."

I sighed, my stomach still tight from my laughing fit. "Well, isn't it nice that I can just ask Alice. I'm sure she would be more than willing to tell me all about your swimwear choices."

"Nice try Bella, but Alice has no knowledge of my secret Speedo stash. You still didn't tell me if you had a good time. How was the book store?"

"It was fantastic, the owner was the most wonderful old man. We had a nice dinner after, I had some kind of salad with every vegetable known to man thrown into it. It was okay. My mom asked if we were having sex."

I heard a coughing sound on the other end. "Are you okay?" The noise continued.

"Sorry, I just choked on my water. She asked you that, really?"

"Yep. I told her all about it, how you like it when I bite you on the shoulder and how sometimes when I get really carried away you have to cover my mouth and remind me to be quiet before I scare the neighbors. She was very interested in all of it."

"Bella!"

"Kidding. She asked, fairly discreetly. She found my pills, don't ask how. So she was curious. She already knew. I just confirmed it and we really didn't discuss it further. I'm sure your parents know, too."

"Yeah, except my dad's a mild mannered surgeon and your's is a crime scene hero with loaded weapons. Maybe I shouldn't pick you up tomorrow. He wouldn't really shoot me, right?"

"I know you're joking. He won't do anything to you. He likes you, as a matter of fact."

"Sure, that was before he had proof that I deflowered his only daughter. I bet he really likes me now."

Our conversation ended a little while later when I started yawning into the phone.

"I'll see you in the morning. I love you Bella, sweet dreams. Sleep well princess."

"Goodnight, Edward. I love you too, with all my heart. Goodnight my handsome prince."

I fell into a peaceful slumber. My mom was right. It was enough just to be in love, and for now - I would just let it carry me and enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

_**Thanks to all of you for reading. There is more to come. Drop me a review or a PM if you'd like. I do so enjoy hearing from all of you. Graduation Party next and then a little Baseball. **_


	27. Interruptus

_**Disclaimer: Twilight and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer….ya'll know it by now.**_

_**AN - Sorry, for all the hyphens and for all the wait. If you are a TM - you simply know that life with little ones can just get crazy. Sorry!! (On the bright side - no more school and now I can devote so much more time to this little story! Yahoo!)**_

_**This chapter was supposed to be part of the grad party - but it got too long. It is nothing but lemon and fluff. **_

_Chapter 27 Interruptus _

_(Bella)_

It was very quiet when I entered the Cullen's house. Too quiet. Edward hadn't been waiting at the door for me like he usually does. There was no reply at all when I knocked on the front door. I had just been talking to Edward on my phone, so I knew he was here. Apparently no one else was. I knew that Alice had been planning on going out shopping. You could never tell who was home when you pulled in here. The garage was so massive that all the cars could fit in it, so lack of cars didn't necessarily mean lack of people.

I called out to Edward, and when he didn't reply I decided to head up to his room, thinking that perhaps he was playing and hadn't heard me. As I pushed open the door to his room, I was startled when two strong arms wrapped around me from behind, lifting me right off of the ground. After my initial shock, I began laughing, as Edward swung my legs up and carried me to his bed.

"You scared me, you big jerk!"

Edward kissed my neck, sucking my skin gently.

"We're the only ones home."

I had figured, but it was nice to have my thoughts confirmed. Hmm, Edward and I, alone - whatever should we do?

He leaned up and moved his body away from mine. "Did you bring your bathing suit?

I nodded.

"Why don't you go put it on?" He said this, while grinning a bit mischievously. I would have rather stayed sprawled across his bed at the moment.

"Why don't we just stay right here? No one's home, I can be a loud as I want - and we don't even have to lock the door." I patted the bed next to me, hoping he would just get back to what he had started a few minutes ago.

"I have other plans for you, Bella. Please just go put your suit on."

I huffed, crawled off of his bed, grabbed my bag and headed for the bathroom. If he wasn't going to give me what I wanted, he wasn't getting any free peeks. He had the nerve to laugh at me as I angrily closed the door. I rolled my eyes as I pulled on the dark blue bikini I had just bought. I had a feeling Edward was really going to like this one. I was definitely becoming more confident in my ability to be alluring enough for him.

I stepped out of the bathroom, to be greeted by the sight of Edward in his gray printed swim trunks. He was so unbelievably edible, with those lovely biceps, sculpted chest and abs, tall and sexy. And those lips, full and kissable. I was not happy that he chose swimming over ravaging me on his bed. My thoughts had been wandering to very nice places when I suddenly realized that I wasn't the only one staring. Edward was staring at me also, his lips parted slightly, his eyes burning with lust. I walked slowly towards him, swaying my hips, hoping he would change his mind about the bed. The slight shifting at the front of Edward's bathing suit told me I was gaining the upper hand.

"I still vote for continuing what we started over on your comfy bed. What do you say?"

As Edward reached out to place his hand gently at my waist, I began to lead him where I wanted him. He simply tightened is grip and shook his head.

"Nope. I told you I have other plans. That suit is excellent, love. Have I told you yet today how much I love that color on you." He slid his hand up and down my side, pulling me in closer and claiming my lips. His arms encircled me and his hands wound up on my ass. I gasped when he slid his finger tips under the shimmery material of my suit, gently fondling the curve of my right cheek. He was not playing fair.

"Come on Bella. Let's get out of here. Do you trust me?" I looked into his sparkling green eyes. Yes, I trusted hum with my very life. I nodded. He smiled.

"Alice won't be back for a while, she only left a few minutes before you got here. My parents are out at their friends' for a dinner party. No one will be back for a while."

We were at the pool now. I dipped my toe in, shivering slightly as the cool sensation spread up my leg. Edward was at the diving board, and in one graceful movement, he dove in. I watched as he began to surface, coming up for air directly at my feet. His hair was wet and droplets of water glistened on the ridge above his lip. I really, really wasn't interested in swimming. Edward climbed out of the water, and stood next to me, the water rushing off of him and pooling at our feet. He pulled me close again and kissed me. I shivered against his freezing body, my skin breaking out in a flush of goose bumps. Edward grabbed a towel and folded it over so it was thick and cushy. He placed it at the edge of the pool and gestured for me to sit on it. I was getting a bit tired of the stop and go here, I felt like telling him to just take me and quit it with the on and off. I also knew that once Edward had his mind set on something, I wasn't going to be able to change it easily, and I wasn't willing to fight right now - I knew I would get to have him eventually. I sat with a groan and shivered as I lowered my legs into the water.

"Bella.." My name was a whisper in the evening. I looked up to see the black silk tie that Edward had blindfolded me with on prom night, in his hand. Now we were getting somewhere.

"May I?"

I swallowed, my heart was suddenly beating very rapidly. I nodded, not trusting my voice. I knew now why he wanted to know if I trusted him.

In a quiet slip I could hear the silk of the tie being lowered to my eyes. The material felt cool and smooth against my face, luxurious. Edward leaned in and feathered kisses over my face, his warm breath was a contrast to the coolness of his lips. I listened as I splashed my feet in the water of the pool.

"I promise no one will be home for a while. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Yes."

"You do look incredible in this bikini Bella. It's a shame I'm going to be taking it off of you so soon."

I felt him move away from me and heard a slight splashing sound. I knew Edward had gotten back into the pool. I listened carefully, trying to figure out what he was doing by the sound and motion of the water at my feet. I giggled as I suddenly felt an entirely different sensation than cool water at my feet. Edward was sucking my toes, biting them too. I let my head fall back, enjoying the simple sensation of his mouth against my body. He began to move up further and I heard the small splashes of the water again. He nudged my legs open and I could feel his broad chest nestling into the cradle of my body. He licked across my stomach, drops of water from his hair dripping down onto me. He nibbled the top edge of my bottoms, my hips squirming as he teasingly eased them down ever so slightly. He groaned quietly when I twined my fingers into his hair, eased my legs open a bit more, and tried to gently guide his head a bit further down. I was thoroughly frustrated when he shook his head 'no' and began moving up my body instead. I had to resist the urge to grab a real handful of his hair and yank it, hard! He was making me CRAZY! I opened my mouth to tell him so, but I wasn't able to as his lips sealed over mine. I lost myself in the delicious taste of his tongue. I was completely breathless when he released my lips.

His fingers began working the strings holding my top up. The interesting thing about being blindfolded was not knowing exactly what was going to happen next. I might be expecting Edward to kiss my neck - only to be surprised by his lips at the edge of my hip bone instead. It was extremely tantalizing. The strings on my top gave way, the flimsy cloth that had been covering me was quickly replaced by Edward's greedy hands over my breasts. Okay, maybe this was better than the comfy bed - it was definitely different.

His hands were replaced be his mouth and the way he was gently nibbling me - with a slightly rough edge - made my body run hot. I was getting so wet, and it had nothing to do with the pool. I arched back, giving him better access. I heard the water churning again and nearly jumped when he let a handful of the cool water run gently over my breasts. The reaction was immediate, I moaned loudly, calling his name.

"You are so beautiful." I was blushing again in spite of the fact that I was nearly naked in front of him.

"I want you, right now." He laughed, my legs shaking gently against the vibrations of his body.

"Do you think I don't want you? Do you want me to show you how ready I am for you?" I loved when his voice got so low, the possessiveness laced through it was so damn sexy.

"Yes, I think you should show me."

He grabbed my hand and placed it on him. He was definitely ready, rock hard and straining against his suit. I heard the low rumble in his chest as I slid my hand into his shorts and wrapped my hand around him. He was already moving his hips slightly, thrusting up in time to the rhythm of my hand. I was tempted to just let him go - pull my hand away, give him a taste of his own medicine. Unfortunately for me, I enjoyed the feeling of power that I had when he let me touch him, too much.

Edward was the one who pulled my hand away. This time I had to say something - was it possibly to spontaneously combust if you're surrounded by water? - I felt like I was going to find out, the exquisite torture was killing me.

"Why are you making me stop?"

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I felt a bit smug when I could tell by his voice that he was fighting for control.

"I'm not in a hurry, I just need you, and you're going so slow. I'm sorry, I'll try to be more patient."

I heard the water moving again, felt Edward moving away from me. I was growing a bit tired of the blindfold routine. I wanted to let my eyes drink in all the goodness that is Edward. Edward was now out of the pool next to me. He was kissing my mouth again and wrapping both of his strong arms around me. He was cold and wet, but his kisses were fevered. The feel of his full bottom lip against my tongue sent a surge of heat between my thighs. As if he knew this, his hand began a trail down my waist, right into the fire that was threatening to consume me. I sighed into his mouth as he slid his icy fingertips over me and then began a gentle probing - spreading my slick wetness over me.

He pulled me to my feet a moment later, and led me away from the pool. He was careful to guide me safely, knowing I had a hard enough time walking over a flat surface when I could actually see what was coming. He pushed me back slightly, helping me to sit down. He must have led me to one of the lounge chairs arranged around the pool. I lay back and Edward was on top of me, his hips pushing against mine - his hard heaviness pushing against me in exactly the right place. I arched up into him, not wanting to leave any space between our bodies.

"I love you Bella. Do you have any idea what it does to me when you tell me that you want me?" His mouth was right next to my ear, spilling his secrets, as his warm breath caressed my neck.

"I don't think you understand the hold you have over me, the power. I worship every inch of your beautiful body, and knowing that you want me to have it, that you want to give yourself up to me, it's impossible to not give you what you want." He shifted his hips against me again and I raked his back with my nails. It was all too much, his words - his body - I felt high, drunk on passion.

"I will never know what I did to deserve you. I wake up every day thankful that I found you. I love you so much, Bella - more than you'll ever know. I'm not trying to torture you by going slow. I'm just trying to be worthy of you - to be as good to you as you deserve." How could he be saying these things? These were my thoughts, I felt lucky to have him, he was too perfect and wonderful and I was trying to be worthy - he was far more than I deserved. My stomach flip-flopped crazily as his words rang in my ears. The realization that he might love me as much as I loved him made me want him even more.

I reached around until I was able to grasp his hand. I took it and placed it at the tie on the side of my bottoms. I was desperate for him to get them off of me, desperate for him to be inside of me.

"I love you, Edward. Please, make love to me, now. I'm not rushing you, I need you."

His fingers made quick work of the ties. I was clutching at the top of his trunks, beginning to ease them down.

"How about we get rid of this now?" his hands were against the silky tie that still covered my eyes. I nodded, I was definitely ready to be rid of it.

Just as he was about to slide it off, I heard a sound, sliding - like the screen door leading out to the pool was gliding open.

"Oh shit - I'm sorry. I didn't see anything - I swear!" It was Jasper's voice, completely mortified.

I threw one arm across my breasts and used my other hand to yank off the blindfold. Jasper was facing the house, already heading back through the door. Edward had turned so his body was essentially blocking mine, though he was still nestled between my wide open thighs. Thankfully, even though the sides of my bathing suit bottom were open, I was still covered.

Talk about timing. Of all the people I imagined that could interrupt us, I hadn't expected it to be Jasper. I could imagine how I would feel if I walked in on Jasper and Alice - and realized he must be horribly embarrassed. The mood was definitely broken. I was positive I had achieved a whole new shade of red over this latest embarrassment. Edward tossed me a towel and helped me re-tie my bottoms. He retrieved my top from the edge of the pool and I was quickly dressed once again. I wrapped the towel around myself and we headed inside.

"Why don't you go back up to my room. I'll go find Jasper and then I will be up." He kissed me softly and I ran up the steps.

I closed the door behind me. I figured I should probably get back into me regular clothes. I didn't really feel like swimming, even though I was plenty heated up. I was ragingly frustrated, and since I wasn't sure how long Edward would be, I briefly contemplated lying on his bed and just giving myself a little release. I quickly decided against that plan - I knew the real thing was just downstairs, my hand couldn't compete with that, I would just wait.

I let my bathing suit fall into a pile on the floor alongside of the towel. I went into the bathroom to get my clothes. I stood naked at the sink, Edward's cologne was sitting out on the counter and I picked it up, taking a sniff. Just the smell made my whole body tingle. I wished he would hurry up. I sprayed a little of his cologne against my bare skin. I gathered up my clothes and brought them over to his bed. I was about to start pulling my things on, when the door opened. Edward shut it quickly, leaned his back against the door and smiled.

"Don't get dressed on my account. Especially because I am just going to rip them right off of you anyway."

I tilted my head slightly and looked up at him. I dropped the clothes I was holding in my hand and lay across his bed.

"Jasper said to tell you he was very sorry. Alice told him to meet her here, and he was early. He left - we are all alone again. You were right earlier." I looked at him questioningly, wondering what I was right about this time.

He clicked the lock on his door and stalked toward the bed.

"You were right when you wanted to stay in here, on my bed."

Then he pounced.


	28. Party and Passion

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer created the lovely Twilight universe - we all just want to come over and play.**

**AN: A nice long chapter for you, heavy on story, but a lovely little lemon at the end! Thanks for all your thoughts - and thanks especially to all you ladies at Twilighted. (LOVE YOU!) To amblovestoread - my very favorite stalker friend, you make this fun!**

**PS - I will be replying to all your reviews from last chapter - I just wanted to get this chapter out as quick as I could - forgive me!**

**Next up - a little baseball!**

Chapter 28 _Party and Passion_

_(Bella)_

I was quite thankful that I didn't run into any of Edward's family when I left for home. After the "Jasper" incident, I was more than a bit reluctant to face anyone, especially Alice or Jasper. I wondered how much he had actually seen, and I was more than a little thankful that we hadn't been doing more than getting naked. If we had been doing the actual deed - I think I would never have been able to face him again. I also think Edward probably would have been inclined to rip his head off - so it was better all the way around. Of course, Alice, true to her nature, called a few hours after I was home. She insisted that it was because she had last minute questions about my outfit for graduation. I knew better.

"Yes, Alice - I am wearing the outfit that you approved. I did try it on under the gown and it works fine. I am allowed to bring something to change into for the party if I want, right?"

"That's fine. Do you need me to come over and pick something for you? Or maybe I could let you borrow something when you're here - I have a few things that would fit you here."

"Alice, I have actually been dressing myself for quite a few years. You don't need to pick out my clothes. In fact - I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"Okay, fine. If you want to take all my fun, go ahead." I knew she was hoping her pouting would get me to cave, but it wasn't going to work.

"Why don't you just get to the real reason you called. I am sure you're wanting to know more about what exactly Jasper interrupted earlier. Let's just get it over with."

"You mean when he walked in on the two of you. I wasn't calling about that, Bella. But since you brought it up..?" I wished she could hear me rolling my eyes at her over the phone.

"Yes Alice, I brought it up because I am dying to talk to you about it. It wasn't embarrassing at all when your boyfriend walked in on us, when we were all over each other."

"Well?"

"Well, what?! " Please tell me she wasn't really looking for me to give her details.

"I guess it is always the quiet ones. I must say Bella - I am a bit shocked. I mean not long ago you were the sweet little virgin - and now you've moved right up to blindfolded exhibition. I am impressed. I didn't really think you had it in you." I couldn't even reply - had she just said "blindfolded exhibition" ?

"Jasper said he thinks he'll have the image of you like that ingrained in his brain for a while - and believe me - I don't think it's because he found it horrifying in any way. I slapped him for saying it - but feel free to slap him yourself next time he's around. He deserves it."

"Alice!"

"What Bella? I am your best friend, if we can't talk about stuff like this - then who can you talk to?"

"But, it's your brother!"

"Yes, I realize that - but that 's my choice as to whether I can handle it or not, isn't it? And I didn't call so you could give me all the sordid details. I really wanted to know if everything was ok - specifically I wanted to know if Edward was angry with Jasper. I swear he had no idea what was going on. He knows how protective Edward is of you, and he was worried that Edward was mad at him."

"No, he isn't. It wasn't Jasper's fault. He just was upset that he let us wind up in that situation in the first place. It's all fine now."

"You're lucky my parents didn't cut dinner short. Esme would have had a conniption over her lounge chair cushions."

I laughed, as if that would be her biggest concern.

"Just so you know, you aren't the only ones ever to be caught in a compromising position. Let's just say that Jasper once thought it would be fun to try something on the pool table. It was really late and we snuck downstairs. Of course - Edward couldn't sleep and walked in on us. I couldn't even be in the same room with him for weeks. I think he actually went into his bathroom and really washed his eyes out with soap. I'd say we're even now."

Graduation day had finally arrived. Due to the fact that I had spent my school years moving from place to place, I don't think I really felt like the day was that significant. For a lot of people graduation symbolizes the end - when you break away from the friends and family you have grown up with and move off on your own. It felt like I had been saying goodbye for as long as I could remember. I had lived in this little town for such a short amount of time, so it wasn't as if I had all these friends that I would be missing. I was excited that high school was officially over. That I was ready for.

As I stood in my room, surveying my appearance in the extremely ugly cap and gown I would have to wear, I wondered how my parents were feeling about all of this. I was their only child after all. I realized that this day was probably going to be very bitter sweet for them. I was glad once again that I had decided to stay fairly close for college. It was close enough that even day trips back and forth weren't going to be impossible. My parents were really starting to settle here, my mom had found out that she had the teaching position for the fall, and she and Esme were becoming fast friends.

"Bella, can I come in?" My mom was calling from outside my door. I was suddenly glad I had worn waterproof mascara, I could already feel the emotions welling up.

"Sure, come on in mom."

My mom looked like she had already done a bit of the crying thing. She immediately began snapping pictures. I think she didn't trust herself to talk at the moment. My dad came in a moment later, and it felt strange, my room suddenly too small. I was sure we had never all been in here at the same time. I felt younger somehow, as if we had traveled back in time.

My dad held out a gift to me. He hugged me fiercely. "I'm so proud of you Bells."

"Thanks dad." I opened the package, anxious to get the focus off of me for the moment.

Inside the little package was a beautiful diamond bracelet. It was shining brightly in the little box, looking new and beautiful. It wasn't new, though. This was the bracelet my grandmother had given my mother on her wedding day, and it had been given to her by her mother. It was a wonderful heirloom, and I was shocked that my parents were giving it to me today.

"How come you're giving me this now? It looks so beautiful, did you have it cleaned?"

"Yes, we did have it cleaned - and your father had the clasp repaired so it won't come loose unexpectedly."

"It looks brand new." My mom nodded, clearly pleased that I was so appreciative of the gift.

"We are giving it to you today because it's time. It was meant to be worn, and I don't where it often, it tends to just sit in the jewelry box. We had a feeling Edward might have lots of places to take you, and that it might get some good use."

I gave them each a hug and kiss, and then held out my wrist so my dad could place the bracelet on it.

Graduation was finally over. My cheeks were hurting from all the smiling and picture taking. My parents, and Emmett had sat with the Cullens, Jasper, and a variety of Alice's extended family. The graduates were seated alphabetically, so I didn't even get to see Alice until the ceremony was over. We stood together and greeted friends and family, hugging and kissing, and smiling - lots and lots of smiling. It was a relief when I was finally able to edge my way to the side, out of the crowd - and Edward pulled me close, wrapping his strong arms around me.

"I'm proud of you Bella. Are you relieved? No more high school."

I smiled, simply happy to be near him. "Yes. Right now, more than anything, I just want to get this stupid gown off."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. "Hey, I'm always on board with any plan that has you removing clothing." I gave him a little jab in the ribs with my elbow for his remark.

He rubbed his ribs playfully, pretending to be injured. "Jeez, you don't know your own strength. Remind me never to really piss you off."

"So, are you ready to party?" I was joking. He knew that I wasn't thrilled about being the center of attention. I was glad most of the focus would be on Alice.

"It won't be so bad. You'll get to meet some of my family. I'll stay next to you the whole time." That sounded better. He kissed me then, and I realized that I was finally free. From now on, I could be with Edward, as much as I wanted. The fact that we would also be going to the same college was icing on the cake. I kissed him back, pouring my passion for him into the kiss. I was oblivious to the people around us, lost in his embrace.

Until we were once again interrupted.

"Let's go you two. Mom wants us all to get back to the house and get everything underway." Alice didn't even stop moving as she talked. She simply spoke as she headed for the door.

"I'd tell you to get a room - but I know from experience that that doesn't stop you." Jasper laughed as he followed Alice. Edward let me go, quickly caught up to Jasper and gave him a hard shove. I was relieved that they were laughing - but decided I might take Alice up on her offer to let me slap him one.

The party was amazing. Esme and my mom had completely outdone themselves. There were large tents set up, overflowing with food and tables and people. There was wonderful music and a packed dance floor. Some of the younger guests had taken up residence at the pool, and there was all sorts of yelling and splashing coming from that area. Everything was relaxed and enjoyable, yet every possible detail had been attended to. All of the decorations were tasteful and understated, this wasn't a plastic cup/keg party. Everything was perfect. I shuddered at the thought of what it had cost - and then cringed thinking what kind of undertaking it would be when Alice got married one day. I couldn't even wrap my brain around what kind of extravagance that would require.

I met lots of people. Family, neighbors, friends, colleagues. It was a bit overwhelming. I was glad that Emmett had been able to come. I worried that it might be awkward for him and Edward - but they were both very cool about all of it. In fact, they actually seemed to really hit it off, laughing and joking like old friends. Emmett didn't stay long, though I think he was able to put a major dent in the food single handedly. He really was like a machine. I guess you have to eat a lot to keep up all that brawn.

Edward was being very good about sticking by me during the party. He only left my side to grab us some food, and then we had settled under a tree in the yard and he fed me. It was the nicest part of my day so far.

"Thanks for the food." I sighed contentedly, I was very well fed, and felt like taking a nap on Edward's lap.

"I figured I had better get something for us, before Emmett ate everything." We both laughed.

Esme came over to where we were seated then.

"I've been looking for you two. There is someone I want you to meet, Bella. And Edward - James and Victoria have been asking for you."

Edward's face lit up. I wondered who James and Victoria were.

The three of us walked back to one of the tents, towards a tall, gorgeous woman with very light strawberry blonde hair. I imagined if it were a bit darker it would be similar in color to Edward's. Standing with her were two young children, they looked to be about three years old, twins maybe.

"Bella, this is my sister Tanya, and these are her children James and Victoria." I looked at the woman, she was really breathtaking. I leaned down slightly and said hello to the children. James looked at the ground, but Victoria waved shyly. They were beautiful as well.

Edward leaned down and opened his arms, and to my surprise both children burst into wide smiles and ran for him - tackling him to the ground.

"How are my two favorite cousins?" He asked in a sweet voice. They giggled as Edward began to tickle them. He straightened up after a moment and his aunt leaned in and gave him a quick hug.

"How was your first year of college?"

"Good. Really good. This is my girlfriend Bella. She graduated today too."

She extended her hand to me, and I shook it a bit nervously. "It's a pleasure to meet you Bella. Esme has told me so much about you. Congratulations on your graduation."

I thanked her, and then she began speaking again. I noticed that she and Esme shared a lot of the same features. I wondered for a moment how it was fair for a family of people to have such a market on good looks. It seemed pretty sad for the rest of us.

"I am an editor for a publishing house in New York. Esme tells me you are quite a wonderful writer. Do you have anything you're interested in having me look at?"

I stared at her, shocked that she would offer. I ran through the items I had that she might find interesting, my stomach lurching a bit with excitement.

"I normally don't make offers like that. Esme happens to have impeccable taste and an extremely good eye for talent. I've learned to listen when she gives me a tip." I looked to Esme and her kind smile warmed my heart. It meant so much to me that she believed I had talent. I had shown her some of my writing a few weeks ago when she had asked me about my plans for college. I had expressed to her my desire to be a writer and she had asked for a chance to read my work. Now I couldn't believe there was a real editor before me, asking to read something I had created.

Esme left to check on some other guests and Tanya and I fell into easy conversation. I had offered to get some items to her, and she said she would be happy to take a look at them. She told me a bit about her life in New York. She was married to an investment banker from Greece named Aristotle - but she said everyone just called him Aro. He wasn't able to get away to come out for Alice's graduation. She was staying in a nearby hotel with the kids for a week. They were twins, and they would be four next month. We got along really well and spent quite a while chatting.

I was surprised when I looked around and saw that Edward was nowhere in sight. I wondered where he had gone, and felt bad about being too wrapped up in my conversation to notice.

"He's probably off playing with James and Vicky." Tanya said. "He's so good with kids Bella. Mine love him more than any of their other relatives. He was all they talked about on the trip out here." I smiled, trying to picture Edward with these children.

"I think I'm going to go look for him." I excused myself and went looking for Edward.

I rounded the side of the house and stopped short, just out of Edward's line of sight.

In the side yard Edward was playing with the two children. I had to smile when I saw him. He was still in his khakis and his button down shirt, but he had pulled a University of Washington ball cap over his messy bronze hair. He was wearing a baseball glove and standing a few feet back from James, who also had on a little baseball glove. James was wearing a great look of concentration as he listened to Edward give him instructions about throwing the ball. James got ready and threw the ball. It stopped just short of Edward, who tossed it back gently.

"That was really good. You almost threw it all the way to me that time. Try again, kiddo. We need another good pitcher in our family."

James beamed at the praise and threw the ball again.

I watched them for several minutes, James throwing the ball, Edward offering advice and encouragement. Victoria was standing to the side, alternating between spinning around and occupying herself with a caterpillar that was on the grass. Every once in a while she would run in close to Edward and show him a blade of grass she had picked, or ask him to watch her spin. He would stop what he was doing and give her all of his attention.

It was very obvious to me why he was their favorite.

I loved this man for so many reasons. But seeing him with these little ones brought out something I hadn't seen in Edward before. He was so patient and silly with them. It was obvious how much he cared about them, but the connection they shared was amazing. I always think children are pretty good at seeing through grownups, I could tell they felt the genuine sincerity in Edward. In that moment - I loved him more than I ever thought possible.

Victoria surprised me by suddenly turning my way, and greeting me with a big smile and wave. Edward caught the motion from the corner of his eye and turned towards me. Our eyes met, and I could feel the gentle flush rising in my cheeks. He motioned for me to come over. He pulled off his glove and walked towards James. James seemed a bit sad that their baseball time was ending, until I heard Edward say something to him about ice cream - then the smile returned. Edward leaned down and tousled his blonde hair. Then he took the cap off of his head and placed it onto the little boy's head. It was too big and slipped down over his eyes. Edward laughed, pulled it off and adjusted it before returning it to James. The little boy looked up at Edward - and the look told me that he thought Edward was pretty much better than Superman and Spiderman all rolled into one.

He swooped down and grabbed Victoria then, swinging her up onto his shoulders. She squealed with delight from up top of her perch. Edward came closer to me, flashing my crooked grin. I melted on the spot. We began to walk back to the tents.

Edward reached his hand out to me. "Do you two remember this pretty lady. Her name is Bella."

James smiled up at me and I actually had to stifle a chuckle. He was actually sporting a junior version of Edward's crooked grin. Boy, the ladies were going to have to watch out for this one in twelve years. He took my other hand, and said, "You are pretty."

I realized that we looked like a family as we walked. Edward holding my hand with the little girl on his shoulders, James holding my other hand. I wondered if this is what the future would hold for us, a family of our own. I have never looked so forward to finding out.

When the party began winding down, we finally caught up with Alice and Jasper. Some of our friends from school had shown up and we all spent some time dancing and laughing. It had been a really nice party. Tanya and the kids were heading back to their hotel and came to say goodbye. James and Victoria each gave me a hug, and Tanya reminded me to bring some of my writing over tomorrow.

When darkness descended the remaining guests made their way into the house. We wound up in the living room with Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme and my parents. I had spent very little time with Alice today, she always seemed to be busy with someone, yet something seemed off. She seemed tense, upset about something. Since Alice is usually so bubbly and cheerful, it was a strange thing to see her quiet, almost sullen. I had noticed the same thing earlier when we were dancing. She had been smiling and laughing - but it seemed like it was all for show. I also noticed that as she sat next to Jasper, they weren't touching. This was the most unusual part of all. When they were together they were always connected somehow, some part of their bodies always in contact. I looked over to her and caught her eye. She smiled at me - I mouthed the words, "Are you okay?" She nodded slightly, but I wasn't convinced. I wanted to pull her aside and talk - but Carlisle and Esme placed a gift in my lap, and that side-tracked me for the moment.

"Congratulations on your graduation Bella. We hope you know that we already consider you as part of our family." Esme gave me a quick hug. I looked curiously at the package on my lap. It was flat, almost like a big envelope.

"I think you should open it." Edward said playfully.

I slid my finger under the lip of tape and pulled out the contents of the envelope. I studied what I pulled out for a few moments, my eyebrows knitted together in concentration. It was an itinerary of sorts, information on a hotel, plane tickets. All for a trip to Hawaii. I stared at it for a moment - unsure how to say thanks for such a generous gift.

"This is too much, it's wonderful - but - a trip to Hawaii?!"

"You are usually much more articulate, honey." Edward joked. I would agree, but the gift had me a bit tongue tied.

My parents weren't surprised, which led me to believe they were in on it.

"Carlisle has to go to a medical conference, dear. It happens to be in Hawaii, and we decided to make a family trip of it. I already said you are like one of the family - and I am also pretty sure neither Alice or Edward would want to go without you. We would love it if you would join us."

"The plane tickets are from us." My dad chimed in.

"Thank you so much, all of you. I would love to go. I can't believe it. It's so wonderful."

I quickly hopped off the couch and lavished hugs on all the parents in the room.

When I was finally seated by Edward again, he pulled me close. "Maybe you'll let me teach you how to surf." I looked at him curiously.

"You know how to surf?"

He nodded, looking as if it were perfectly obvious that he would know how to do such a thing. Of course, I was quickly coming to realize there wasn't much he couldn't do. If he wasn't so amazing, it would be a bit annoying.

My parents decided to head home. I said goodnight to them, as I was staying over at the Cullens. I noticed the look my dad gave Edward as he left. It pretty much said, "you better behave yourself with my daughter." Edward must have caught the look too, because he quickly dropped my hand and stepped away from me slightly. Jasper left too. Alice kissed him goodbye and he was on his way. I decided to take a minute to talk to her.

"Is everything okay? I feel like I hardly got to spend any time with you today, and you seem like something's bothering you."

She yawned and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"I'm okay, Bella. I am a bit tired. I think today just was a bit emotionally overwhelming. It seems strange that there are a lot of people I might not see again. I didn't really expect to get so wrapped up in it all."

It seemed logical that that was the problem. Maybe that was all there was to it. But it still didn't seem like the whole truth. I was going to press her for more, see if there was something else - instead she hugged me quick and headed for the stairs.

"I'm heading for bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Later, I was cuddled up to Edward in his bed. We had said our goodnights and decided to just spend the night together in his room. The cat was out of the bag, pretty much - and it didn't seem like anyone was going to question where I slept. I realized I probably wouldn't just let Edward sleep in my room at my house - but it was different here - maybe the thought that I might actually be in Alice's room was enough to make it okay.

I was still thinking about Alice, wondering if she really was okay. Edward's mouth was at my neck, his hands riding up the tank top I had put on for bed. I was instantly distracted.

I could feel his hardness pressed up against my lower back, the tip peeking out of his boxers. I arched back into him, turning my head to the side and allowing him to capture my mouth with his. He probed my mouth gently with his tongue, allowing me to twine mine around his, the erotic give and take mimicking what the rest of our bodies would surely be doing momentarily.

It was the work of a moment to get rid of our clothes, and the brush of his soft sheets against my naked body was pure pleasure. We were careful to be quiet, which usually required more work on my end. The things he did to me just made it impossible not to want to cry out, instead I gently sucked his thumb into my mouth - effectively stifling my moans of ecstasy.

He turned me slightly, so I was on my stomach, and then pulled my bottom up - propping my ass up the way he liked while I positioned myself on my hands and knees. He leaned up on his knees - the blankets falling away, sliding down his back into a pile at the foot of the bed. We were so quiet, but the electricity in the air was palpable. He grabbed onto my hips, pulling me back as he surged forward - burying himself in my body - which was wet and ready for his invasion. The steady thrust of his body made me respond immediately, my body pushing back against his - greedy to be filled. He buried his left hand in my tangle of hair, fisting a handful and pulling it back slightly. He wasn't hurting me, but he was definitely possessing me, claiming his ownership. It was extremely hot sex, bordering on animalistic. The sound of Edward's heavy breath echoed in my ears, his pumping growing more demanding. He released my hair and my head fell forward on my neck - I leaned forward slightly - resting the side of my face against the pillow, my back arching higher up. Edward groaned at the deeper access this granted. He pushed the hair out of my face.

"I need to see your face." He panted.

My mouth was opened, my full bottom lip trembling. My eyes were closed, an image of Edward, his hair damp with sweat his jaw clenched, his eyes heavy lidded with pleasure - flashed behind my lids. He reached down and began a gentle rubbing that timed perfectly to each of his strokes. In a matter of moments I was flying, waves of bliss breaking over my body. Edward removed his hand and pulled me back hard, his short quick thrusts, coupled with the slight throb I could feel inside told me he was flying too. He collapsed onto me, his damp forehead nuzzling into my neck, utterly spent. My body gave one last shiver and I sighed, not wanting him to pull out of my body.

Edward kissed my shoulder tenderly and carefully slipped out. He opened the window wider, a cool rush of night air entering - the heady smell of our sex dissipating.

When we were cleaned up we settled down to sleep. Edward held me tightly in his arms, my head tucked securely under his chin. I smiled when I heard his breathing even out, the tight hold he had on my body relaxing slightly. I think it was the first time Edward ever fell asleep before me. I turned my head slightly, kissing him on his upper arm. I closed my eyes and settled into slumber, safely encircled by Edward's love.

**_I hope you all enjoyed. This is one of my favorite chapters so far. Please review if you would like, I always love to hear from you! As always - thank you for reading._**


	29. The Boys of Summer

**Disclaimer: Twilight stories and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: June 20th - Happy Birhtday Edward! Another really long chapter for you all. Thanks a million for all your reviews and kind words - I am deeply touched by all of them! Now let's play ball!**

Chapter 29 The Boys of Summer

_(Bella)_

I had just had my interview at Newton Outfitter's. It was a sporting goods store on the edge of the town, owned by my friend Mike's parents. I had mentioned that I needed to get a job for the summer and he had hooked me right up. I think the interview was a simple formality, especially since the first question Mike's mom asked was when I could start. I wasn't thrilled about giving up my time with Edward. He didn't need to work, seeing as how his family had this insane amount of money. Apparently Carlisle was an only child, and after both of his parents passed away he inherited a sizable amount of money, along with his hefty salary from the hospital, and the fact that Esme also came from money - well - suffice it to say - Edward would never need a summer job. He kept telling me not to worry about working, that he would get whatever I needed, but that wouldn't work for me. My parents wouldn't go for that either. We weren't poor, but my parents expected me to pay a little of my way, especially if I was going to be renting an apartment with Alice instead of dorming it at school next year. I was heading home to tell my parents that I would be starting work next week.

I was surprised to meet up with my dad in the driveway. He was shoving an old bat bag into the trunk of his car, dressed in a pair of old sweats and a t-shirt. I had no idea what he could be up to. He wasn't unathletic, but I don't think I have ever seen my dad play baseball. He was also whistling, which was a whole other set of weirdness. He greeted me cheerfully, kissing me on the cheek.

"How did your interview go honey? Did you get the job?"

"Yep. I start Monday in fact. I'm not sure how useful I will be with questions about fishing line or hunting licenses - but I'm pretty sure my only real responsibility is running a cash register - which I think I can handle."

He smiled at me, obviously proud of my very measly accomplishment. "That's my girl!"

"Where are you going, dad? What's with the sweats and the gear?" I was thoroughly confused.

He smiled widely, I swear he was downright chipper. What the hell?!

"I'm just heading out to the batting cages. I'm gonna take a few swings, get the old arms loosened up."

Okay, batting cages, what? Was this a mid-life crisis - wasn't he too young for that?

"Oh, okay. Well I hope you have a good time. Don't hurt yourself, or pull anything, okay?"

He just laughed and then leaned in and gave me another quick hug.

"You know Bella, I'm not sure if I have ever said this to you, but I really like Edward. He really has a good head on his shoulders, he's responsible. He's a good kid."

I stood with my mouth hanging open, looking like a complete fool. My father simply got in his car and drove away. I decided I needed to find my mother immediately and find out what on earth had happened to my father.

I found my mother in the kitchen. She was just getting finished loading up the dishwasher. She dried her hands and sat at the kitchen table.

"So, how did it go? When do you start?'

"At Newton's - oh, that was fine. I start Monday." I had nearly forgotten about my new job with all my father's erratic behavior.

"Mom, what's up with dad? Why is he going to the batting cages? And more importantly, why is he telling me how much he likes Edward? Should I be worried?"

My mom stared at me for a moment and then started laughing. Evidently I was making more of this than necessary. I sat down, hoping my mother would fill me in.

"Well, Bella, the truth is that Edward is a bit of a genius." Okay, this wasn't what I was expecting, not that Edward isn't a genius, but what did that have to do with anything?

"Yes. He is smart. And how does Edward being smart make dad want to go and swing a bat, exactly?"

My mom laughed at me again. Apparently I was being a bit dense.

"You know the charity bazaar that Esme has been working on for the hospital?" I nodded.

"Well, the two local hospitals compete in a baseball game to close the bazaar, it's the big culminating event. Edward has been in charge of the Community West team for the past three years. They are undefeated since he has done the roster. So, he came over while you were out and invited your father to be on the team. If he ever wanted to get your dad on his side, that was the way to do it. Genius!" She caught my eye and shook her head.

She was right. There is that saying about the way to a man's heart - well sports would be the way to my dad's. I had to hand it to Edward, he sure knew how to handle my parents.

"He's heading to the batting cages because he doesn't want to make a fool of himself. He was a really good ball player in college. He's probably a bit rusty now. I haven't seen him this excited in a while. Carlisle came over with Edward. I guess it's a pretty big deal to be asked to join the team. Of course, your father doesn't want to be the weak link. I think he would like to believe Edward didn't just ask him because of you."

Edward had mentioned the baseball game in passing. I guess I hadn't realized just how big of a deal it was.

I knew all about the bazaar. Esme had roped Alice and I into running the cotton candy machine. Alice warned me that we would be pretty much coated in the sticky pink fibers by the end of the day. I didn't care, I would do anything for Esme.

When I called Edward before bed I asked him about my dad. I hoped he wasn't just doing me a favor.

"My dad is really excited about the baseball game."

"Good. It's a lot of fun. I probably take it too seriously, but it is fun."

"How come you asked my dad to play? He really isn't connected to the hospital." I was trying to find out what I needed to know in a subtle way.

"The hospital benefits from the bazaar and the baseball game, but the game isn't played exclusively by people connected to the hospitals. The thing is, the hospitals don't really want their doctors, and the surgeons especially, screwing up their hands or getting hurt playing. My family sponsors the Community West team, and I am in charge of getting people to play for the hospital team. I make sure to get as many people directly from the hospital as I can. My dad always plays, even though the hospital would prefer he didn't. Jasper is on the team - and I hope it's okay - but I asked Emmett to play. Tyler is playing this year - we played together in high school - excellent short-stop. I know you might be thinking I just asked your dad to be nice, or to make you happy - I'm sorry to break it to you - but I want to win too much to just be nice. I've had more than a few baseball discussions with your dad, and I am an excellent judge of what my team needs. Your dad was asked to play because he can help us win. Bottom line."

I was relieved.

Alice and I had some fun nights together. All the guys were busy with team practices - and I was pointedly told that we were too distracting to attend. It was fine with me - I was looking forward to watching Edward play - but sports were generally not my thing. I wasn't too torn up about not watching them practice.

Alice was still behaving a bit strangely. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, and she continued to insist that there was nothing wrong. I was starting to feel a bit annoyed at the fact that she wouldn't open up to me. She was the one always insisting that best friends needed to pour their hearts out to each other, but it felt like she was keeping something from me. Edward didn't really seem to think Alice was acting any different. I thought differently. It seemed to me that whatever the issue was definitely had to do with Jasper. I hadn't seen them together recently, it had just been Alice and I, but whenever I brought Jasper up she changed the subject. I started wracking my brain but couldn't come up with a firm idea of what could be going on. Did it have to do with him walking in on me and Edward? Had he cheated on her? Was she pregnant? None of those things seemed right. Instead of pressing the issue, I just decided to give her time, and hoped she would come to me with whatever was going on.

The day of the bazaar arrived and it was a wonderfully warm, clear day. Edward informed me that it was the perfect conditions for playing baseball. He was so excited, you would have thought it was Christmas morning. My dad was equally anxious to get to playing. He hadn't stopped telling me how great Edward was since they began their practices. He thought Edward was an outstanding pitcher, a good leader, mature, he had a great sense of humor, he was fair ….The list went on and on. I obviously adored Edward, I was madly in love with him - but it was nice to see my dad liking Edward too. It was different from the way he had been with Jacob. He tolerated Jacob and had enjoyed his company on fishing trips, but he had come to genuinely like Edward. Edward really was a genius!

Alice and I were very busy with the cotton candy. She had insisted on matching outfits, so we wound up in pink tanks (to match the candy, of course) and little shorts. Alice reasoned that if we were going to be standing outside all day we might as well get as much sun exposure as possible. She fully intended to have a decent tan by the end of the day. She was right about getting sticky. Within the first hour I felt like my arms were glazed, and when the sun hit our skin just right - it looked like we were sparkling from all the little sugar crystals. It was a fun job, even though it was a bit messy. The early part of our day was a never ending line of children, but as the day went on we started getting more and more guys lining up for cotton candy. Alice assumed that word had gotten out about the two hot chicks working the cotton candy machine. I thought she was joking, but as our line became more guys and less kids, I had to agree with her. There just could not be that many guys with a genuine craving for cotton candy. They were all harmless, but I would have to admit that the attention was kind of nice.

Esme made her rounds periodically, checking to be sure everything was running smoothly. She laughed when she saw our line of gentlemen. She actually had the nerve to say that next year she was going to make us sell the stuff in bikinis. Alice and I both yelled at her. She wrapped her arms around us and gave us a playful hug.

"I was just teasing you. I would never do that to my girls. Have Edward and Jasper been by recently?"

We shook our heads. The two of them were driving a golf cart around, bringing water to the workers and grabbing stuff to restock when booths were running low. They seemed to drive by about every hour and a half, but we hadn't seen them in a while. I knew why Esme asked, they were going to freak out when they saw us flirting with our long line of admirers.

As we got back to work, I glanced at my watch. It was 3:00. We had to keep the booths running until the baseball game started at 6:00. Three hours suddenly seemed a long way off. I was very sticky and there didn't seem to be an end to our line. I was surprised when a pleasant voice called out, asking if we needed some help. I turned to see Rosalie standing near us. She was wearing a grey t-shirt that was huge, but she had tied up the side in a way that made the top form fitting and allowed a slice of her stomach to show - it said University of Washington - Football. It had to be Emmett's. She was also wearing a pair of teeny tiny shorts, and still managed to look gorgeous and appropriate - despite her skimpy attire. Alice and I exchanged a quick glance. I would just be happy for an extra set of hands, it was fine with me. Alice nodded as well.

"We would love some help!" I called back. She smiled, and it was a genuine friendly smile that set me at ease. She grabbed a band from her purse and yanked her hair up into a high ponytail. Then she jumped right in to help. I swear I heard someone in the back cheer when she joined us. If I thought the line was long now, we were certainly in for trouble with Rose on our crew.

Having Rose with us turned out to be a lot of fun. She was efficient, kept the line moving, and I was surprised to find that she was very witty. She seemed to have a comeback for every cheesy line the guys offered her, and although I could tell she loved the attention, she wasn't caught up in it. I realized I could probably like Rose if I gave her a chance.

Sometime later we saw the golf cart moving towards us through the crowd. I wasn't entirely shocked to see the huge mass that is Emmett driving. He was laughing and wolf-whistling at the three of us as he pulled the cart up next to our booth. Edward and Jasper didn't seem nearly as amused.

Edward pulled me back slightly.

"What is going on?" He gestured to Rose and the line of guys waiting for some cotton candy and some of our attention.

I opened my eyes wide, trying to look innocent. "We were really busy, and Rose offered to help out. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! How about the line of guys who are supposed to be lined up to get some candy, but instead they're ogling the three of you like this is a meat market."

I wondered if it was wrong that I found him so sexy when he was acting like a total caveman. I decided to tease him just a little more.

"You're just lucky we talked your mom out of her plan. She wanted us to all get changed into bikinis to serve this motley crowd."

Edward's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "She said what? Bikinis? What's wrong with her?" I think he was seriously angry. Sometimes he needed to pull that quick temper in a bit.

"I'm joking Edward, relax please. We aren't doing anything, I swear. Well, we are making a lot of money - but there is only one man I am concerned about." I kissed him gently and he licked his lips.

"Mmm. Your lips are very sugary, Bella." He leaned in and kissed me again, licking against my lips gently. He seemed much calmer.

"Look, we only have an hour left - don't you need to get ready to play?" He nodded, taking the hint.

Emmett grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, crushing the air out of me.

"Hey Bells. You are covered in pink fuzz, good look for you." I punched him playfully. I noticed that Rose was staring at him, a small smile playing on her perfect lips. He released me and picked her up, completely engulfing her in his huge body. I heard her muffled laughter. They really did seem perfect together.

Edward pulled me to him, his arm at my waist. Emmett put Rose down and we were now all facing each other. It struck me that it should have been awkward, but it was actually okay.

"Hey Edward, how are you?" Rosalie asked pleasantly.

Edward smiled tightly, tightening his arm around me slightly. "I'm good. It's nice to see you."

There was a moment of silence, and during that moment it seemed like a little wave went through us, something telling us that this was the way things were meant to be.

Jasper's voice broke us out of our little moment. "Hey, guys, we need some help here."

I turned quickly, realizing that Rose and I hadn't been helping with the line for the past several minutes. Jasper had some pink fluff in his blonde hair, and he was standing with his hands on his hips, looking a bit annoyed. It struck me again just how amazingly attractive he was, even while he was annoyed. He was also just a really decent guy, my stomach clenched slightly as I said a silent prayer that whatever was going on between him and Alice would work out. They needed each other.

Rose and I got back to work. Emmett and Edward had already hopped back into the cart. Jasper tucked Alice into him quickly and kissed the top of her head. I heard him whisper, "I love you, Alice."

She looked up at him, but didn't respond. She stood on her tiptoes and he leaned down. She kissed him on the cheek. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but instead just kissed her on the top of the head again and left.

When we were finished with our day, Alice went to give the money to Esme. I went with Rose to find a bathroom and wash up a little. It felt so good to wash the sugar off of my arms and face. I pulled my hair down and tried to shake some of the fluff out of it. Rose did the same. We smelled warm and sweet, like walking fresh baked cookies.

"Emmett talks about you all the time. I kind of feel like I know you. I know our situation is a little weird, but I kind of wish we could be friends."

I looked at Rose. I knew how she felt, and honestly - it would be nice to see more of Emmett, which would surely happen if Rose and I were on friendly terms.

"I'd like to be friends with you. Of course that might be easier if you weren't so gorgeous." I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Bella. You are plenty beautiful yourself. I'm glad Edward has you. I know it isn't a real secret that I didn't really appreciate him. You two seem so perfect together. And just so you know, I do appreciate Emmett - I love him more than life."

I knew right then that we would be friends.

"I wish Alice could be nicer to you, I think the three of us could get into lots of trouble together." It had certainly been fun working together this afternoon.

"I have a feeling that Alice might be much more willing to be friends with me now. I didn't belong with Edward and she knew it - it always caused tension between us."

Alice came skipping in to the bathroom then. Sometimes her enthusiasm wore me out. She washed up quickly, too. Clearly relieved to not be completely sticky now. Her short dark hair was still perfectly styled, her long eyelashes glistening with tiny drops of water. I had to believe that in some other life she was an elf or fairy. There just wasn't any other explanation for her delicate beauty. It was definitely what one would call ethereal. She surprised me by grabbing both me and Rosalie and leading us out to the game. My mom and Esme had saved us seats up close, and we settled in happily. It had been such a great day.

The teams took the field for the singing of "the Star Spangled Banner". I eyed the team Edward had put together. They were all wearing white jerseys with Community West printed on the fronts in red letters. Their names and numbers were on the backs. They were all wearing red baseball caps with white CWs

stitched on them. The other team was in blue. The Community West team was a mix of men, some were quite young and I was able to pick out a few I knew. Tyler's blonde hair and kind grin were easy to pick out. I spotted Jasper easily also, he was a few inches taller than nearly everyone except Emmett. My dad looked proud in his jersey, and I giggled at the look on my mom's face as she watched him dreamily. Alice pointed out a few others that I didn't know. There were pharmacy techs and the radiologist from the hospital. There were also various members of the kitchen staff and even some nurses. Edward looked amazing, and as the game got under way, I was completely turned on by his skill and authority.

Edward was simply amazing. He really could do everything. He was an incredible pitcher, and was completely controlling the tempo of the game. He was also excellent with a bat and fast. At the end of the third inning Carlisle was up to bat and managed to bring Edward in from second base, as he slid into home I nearly came undone. I think I could watch him do this all night. When he got up he quickly dusted himself off and turned in my direction, flashing that grin that made me crazy. I think I actually let out an actual sigh.

There were some girls a row ahead of us who were enjoying watching Edward as well. Their comments were starting to piss me off. Rosalie was laughing at the murderous glare I was shooting their way, until they started talking about Emmett too. Then she joined me. My dad was playing well. Edward had more players than necessary, so he was rotating different people in for different innings. My dad seemed to be playing outfield every other inning. I had to give Edward a lot of credit. His team was excellent. By the end of the fifth inning Community West was leading 7 to 2.

Alice had been unusually quiet during the game. I noticed she wasn't watching and followed her gaze to see what she was looking at. There was a woman down near the fence. She had blonde hair, it looked like she was a real blonde, but that she was old enough to be dyeing it to cover grey. She looked to be in her late forties, although she was dressed very young. She was wearing short white shorts and a tiny tee shirt. She was tall, and something about her seemed familiar. Her face looked like she might have been extremely beautiful once, but had opted for plastic surgery as she had aged. She was still very pretty, but looked fake somehow. Her overly large chest and deep bronze tan cemented that thought.

She kept cheering fro Carlisle loudly. I glanced at Esme and noticed that she was also doing the death glare thing. Weren't we a bunch of jealous ladies today.

Jasper was up to bat. The woman began yelling extra loud for 'Jazzy', instructing him to hit it out of the park. I looked back to Alice, thoroughly confused as to who this woman was and what she was doing. Alice had shifted her gaze to Jasper, looking like it was a huge effort not to continue being occupied by the blonde woman at the fence. Once Jasper was done batting, he had ripped a line drive down the third base line and wound up on first base, I nudged Alice.

"Who is that?" I pointed to the woman by the fence.

"Sheila Whitlock." That was all she said, a frown on her face.

Whitlock? As in Jasper Whitlock? My mouth flew open.

"Is that Jasper's mom?"

Alice looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "Oh yes, mommy dearest."

No wonder she looked sort of familiar. I looked at her again, they certainly shared the same bone structure, nose, fair hair. I think the biggest similarity was their mouths. They both had beautiful lips, the bottom full and pouty, the top an elegant "M" shape. This was Jasper's mom?

I wondered why Alice seemed so angry at the woman. It was like she hated her.

I was going to ask when she turned toward me and simply said, "later."

Okay, looks like we'll have something to talk about 'later'.

During the seventh inning stretch I noticed Edward running toward the fence where we were sitting. He gestured up to me that he wanted some water. I grabbed my bottle and headed down to him. When I reached the fence he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me hard. It was a very hot kiss, all sorts of lips and tongue, not the kind of kiss I was expecting with such a large audience. When we broke apart I had to take a shaky breath.

"Wow! Where did that come from?"

He took a sip of water and smiled at me, a mischievous glint in his dazzling green eyes.

"Well, we are beating them so badly that some of their players have decided to distract themselves with the scenery in the stands. After all the guys staring at you earlier, I am no longer inclined to share what's mine." He kissed me again quickly before heading back to his team. I noticed the very nasty look he shot their third baseman.

I went back up to my seat and noticed the girls who had been ogling my Edward were gawking at me. Looks like Edward killed two birds with one stone. I smiled sweetly at the girls as I pushed past them.

"Impressive, Bella." Rosalie patted me on the back.

Rose leaned toward Alice and asked her a question. "Does Bella know about the tradition?"

"I haven't told her, and I don't think Edward realizes what we do, so I'm sure he hasn't said anything."

They both smiled and then looked at me. I was confused.

"What are you talking about?" They laughed.

"Just wait and see. I am sure you will enjoy it." Rose turned her attention back to the game.

The game ended and Community West remained undefeated, 12 to 3. The three of us headed down toward the dugout, eager to congratulate our victorious men. As we waited by the fence for the crowd to thin out, I noticed we were right next to Jasper's mom. She turned toward us, and to my shock, looked right through Alice like she wasn't even there. She smiled at Rosalie and held out her hand.

"Hello Rosalie. How are you doing, it's been so long since I've seen you. You look beautiful as ever."

Rose shook her hand and said hello quietly. This was supremely awkward.

Japer's mom turned away from us. Carlisle was heading in our direction and Sheila threw on a large grin.

"That was excellent ball playing Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle gave her a quick glance and smiled. It was a small polite smile, the kind you plastered on your face when you were trying to not lose your patience. "Thanks Sheila, good to see you." He didn't even stop walking as he spoke, blowing right past her - catching Alice's eye as he went.

He stopped at the side of the fence by Esme and they began talking. Sheila looked a bit put out at being blown off so soundly.

We finally made it into the dugout. It was just the younger guys left and they were all rowdy and excited. We grabbed our guys and congratulated them heartily, earning some whistles and snickers form the single guys. Everyone was heading back to the Cullen's for a barbecue and swimming.

When we reached the Cullen's, Alice and Rose grabbed me and pulled me up the stairs. We wound up in Alice's room. They left the lights off and we knelt at the window overlooking the pool.

"Are you ready for the tradition?" Rose was smiling wickedly.

Alice smiled, she was still unsettled from earlier, but did seem a bit excited about whatever was about to happen. It took a few minutes, but then I heard a bunch of voices. We all stared down at the pool.

Rose cracked open a cold can of soda and said, "let the fun begin."

The lights around the pool came on and in a huge rush half of the baseball team was suddenly in the water. It was a mass of bare-chested goodness. They were splashing and yelling and laughing, and everywhere you looked there was something good to see. Most of the older men had gone home, my parents were near the grill, my dad not part of the mob in the water. Carlisle had joined the pool party and I wondered momentarily how very wrong it was to be staring at Edward's dad like this, and thoroughly enjoying the view. Edward and Jasper were involved in some sort of impromptu wrestling match near the far edge of the pool, their hair was wet and slicked back, their bodies wet and glistening. I blushed at the thought that ran through my mind, imagining myself between those two sexy, writhing bodies.

Wow! I was like a kid in an eye-candy store. With one or two exceptions, all the guys were trim and toned and muscled. It was a very glorious sight. I noticed that the three of us had been completely silent, obviously lost in our own thoughts. This was an excellent tradition.

Alice broke the silence. "My goodness Rosalie, Emmett certainly is - um - impressive." We all laughed quietly as she struggled with her word choice.

Rose turned to me, "So what do you think ?"

I smiled, not sure what to even say. "Yummy!" I breathed.

We were all giggling again.

"They all go swimming right after the game every year. That's what they call their tradition. I don't think they have figured out yet that we sit up here and drool for half an hour - that's our tradition."

When we had had our fill of guilty pleasure we changed into suits and joined them. There were some other girlfriends and wives in the water now, too.

Edward pulled me into the water, I swam for a minute, it felt good to wash the last of the stickiness away. I said as much to Edward. He frowned as he pulled me close and gently nipped my neck.

"I think it's a shame. I liked licking all that sweetness off of your skin. It was very tasty."

Alice and Jasper were out of the water, talking quietly on one of the lounge chairs. Jasper looked upset. I had that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I wondered if Jasper's mom had anything to do with whatever was going on.

Later, when almost everyone was gone, Edward and I headed up to his room. Alice and Jasper were still talking when we went inside.

I found Edward's jersey in a heap on his bathroom floor. I hung my wet bathing suit in the shower and slipped the jersey on, popping open the top buttons to give Edward a nice view of my breasts. It was long, just the bottom curve of my ass revealed.

I stepped out of the bathroom, and Edward froze, staring at me with a sexy smirk. We hosted our own private little baseball game, and I let Edward steal all the bases his little heart desired. Our game ended with a "grand slam".

Later, we were showered and clean and cuddled together on Edward's bed. He was lying on his back and I was draped over his chest, enjoying the feel of my new favorite pillow. We were quiet, I was rapidly closing in on sleep, when there was a knock on the door. I sat up, slightly panicked - hoping it wasn't Carlisle or Esme. I contemplated heading for the bathroom. Edward just pulled me back down.

"Come in." He said.

Alice walked in. I sat back up, knowing immediately that something was very wrong. She had her head down and she gracefully climbed up on the end of the bed, folding her petite arm around her knees. I instinctively reached out to her, leaning in close.

"What is it Alice? What's wrong?"

Her shoulders started to shudder and she began to sob quietly. I rubbed her arm, pulling myself closer to her, eager to ease her pain.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide, tears streaking down her cheeks. "Jasper and I broke up."

_**A little fun and a little drama. Poor Alice**__**! **_


	30. Straws

**Disclaimer: Twilight works and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**

_**AN: Just wanted to take a quick second to thank you all for taking the time to read. It overwhelms me that so many of you take the time to drop me a line or encourage me. You are all just the best!!**_

Chapter 30 Straws

(_Bella)_

I had sat with Alice on Edward's bed for an hour. I rubbed her back and held her tight and let her cry when she needed to. Edward ran and grabbed a box of tissues. He sat with us, angry at Jasper, wanting to know if there was anything he could do. Alice just shook her head "no" - but Edward was still pissed off at his best friend. Eventually I talked Alice into heading into her room. She shuffled out, compliantly. I gave Edward a kiss.

He looked at me with pain and sadness etched on his face. He pulled me close for a minute and just held onto me.

" I love you so much Bella. I can't imagine ever losing you. Thanks for taking care of Alice."

I knew just how he was feeling. I hated to leave him too. I also knew that Alice needed me, and she was my priority right now. I kissed Edward again and went to Alice's room.

Alice was in pajamas on her bed. She looked as if she had washed her face. I curled up next to her and we turned out the light.

"Do your parents know?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, they were there when he left."

"What happened Alice. I don't understand. Has there been something going on for a while? You haven't been yourself lately."

She sniffled, and I was afraid that I had said the wrong thing and set her off again.

"Did he break up with you, honey? Can you tell me anything?"

Alice surprised me by sitting up, fluffing her pillows behind her and leaning back on them slightly. She looked at me and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you about all of this Bella. There has been a lot going on between me and Jasper, but I felt like I was having such a hard time dealing with it - I had no idea how to bring it up to talk about it."

I sat up next to her. I didn't speak, I wanted her to have the opportunity to just get it all out.

"Have you ever felt like that saying - that you are down to your last straw - or what is it - the straw that broke the camel's back. I broke up with Jasper - and Bella, the look on his face when he drove away - that is the worst part of it all. I know he loves me, and I love him - more than everything. It's just that I don't think I can be with him right now. He needs to change - and I have tried and tried - but I can't do it anymore."

"That's part of why I couldn't talk to you either, I feel like it all only makes sense to me. I was afraid you would just say to me that I was being silly, or making a big deal out of nothing - and I just needed to try and figure this out on my own."

I looked at her sadly. I still wish she would have come to me - even just to talk, even if I didn't say anything. It hurt to know she felt so alone.

"I know I said I would tell you about Jasper's mom, and the thing is - she's the main problem. I know you saw her today - flirting with my dad - and completely ignoring me. She hates me Bella. Hates me. Can you imagine what that's like?"

She paused for a moment, looking at me to be sure I had caught what she had said.

"The only reason I can think of is simply because Jasper loves me. She's extremely rude to me every chance she gets, she has actually told Jasper - while I was standing there, just how much she can't stand me. She used to always tell him that he should try to go out with Rosalie. Let's top that off with the fact that she shamelessly flirts with my dad every time she sees him. It's disgusting."

I knew that this would be upsetting if I were in her situation - but if Edward loved me I think I would just deal with it. I wondered why she would break up with Jasper over this. That made me think about her comment about me saying she was being silly or making a big deal of nothing. Maybe she was right.

"I could deal with her, if that was all there was to it. She is annoying - but the problem is Jasper. He never ever defends me. Do you know something that pushed me over the edge today?"

Since I could tell she wanted an answer I said "what?" quietly.

"I watched how Edward acted when you told him what mom said about us selling the cotton candy in bikinis. Esme loves you, adores you even - both of my parents do - and he was ready to go scream at my mom over something that was a joke - because he loves you so much. He can't bear to have anyone say anything remotely rude to you. Sheila is rude to me, talks down to me, and tells Jasper how much she doesn't like me - and he never says a thing. Nothing."

"What would it take Bella? He could just say - 'mom - I love Alice - please don't say things like that about her.' As simple as that. And yet he says nothing. It kills me Bella. I have told him again and again - and nothing changes."

Her composure crumbled then and she was crying again. I thought about what she had told me. It was strange but it didn't seem like the Jasper that I had come to know. He always seemed so careful about Alice and her feelings, to know that he had hurt her this way made me incredibly pissed off.

"It's going to be okay, Alice." I said soothingly.

She looked up at me surprised by my choice of words.

"No, I don't think it is. I can't live without him Bella - yet I can't stand being second to her. Did you know that Jasper and I have talked a lot recently about getting married?"

My eyes opened wide. That was quite a revelation. I couldn't imagine them wanting to even consider getting married. We were all so young.

"I know it probably sounds crazy, but it's true. I realized the other day that if things didn't change, this could wind up being my life, constantly being degraded by Sheila - having what I want overruled because Jasper takes her side. What kind of life would that be? Even if I do love him?"

"We've had these fights over her like you wouldn't believe. Last year at graduation, between Jasper and Edward and Rose - and all our other friends that were having parties, we were running all over all day trying to see everyone. We finally got to Jasper's house and his mom started in on what a horrible girlfriend I was, how I should have been with Jasper all day. She complained about how I was dressed and then told me she wished that Jasper would 'come to his senses' at college and dump me. Isn't she just a ray of sunshine?"

"I got upset, obviously. Jasper defended her. He said I was the one who made things difficult and that I didn't ever cut her a break."

"My mom can't stand her. You know that she is always pretty civil and decent to everyone, and she even makes an effort with Sheila because of me. Sheila works in PR and sometimes has work for the hospital. Would you believe that one day when she was at the hospital - she hunted down my dad and propositioned him, she even offered him a key card to a hotel room. I don't think that he knows that I know - and I don't think Jasper even knows it happened, my mom and I discussed it once. I really don't know if I have ever seen her that upset. She wanted to go over to her house and slap her."

She let out a small sigh, and I had to suppress a small giggle. The thought of proper Esme slapping anyone was comical.

Alice yawned and stretched slightly. She rearranged her pillows again and lay down, her back to me. I lay back as well. I was facing the ceiling, wishing I had some small slice of comfort to offer my friend.

"He begged me not to Bella. He said he can't live without me. I can't live without him either."

I turned and rubbed her back a bit.

"It's not okay. It's never going to be okay. I feel like I ripped my heart out and threw it away. I feel like there is nothing left of me, just a jagged bleeding hole in my chest."

She sat up suddenly and looked at me, her eyes wet and sparkling.

"Do you think he can change Bella? Do you think he will ever be able to deal with his mom? Do you think I made a huge mistake?"

These were all different questions. Yes it was possible he could change. Would he ever be able to deal with his mom - that one didn't have an easy answer - it was his mom - biology is a tough issue all around. Did she make a mistake? That was the toughest question of all. I didn't say so to Alice - but I believed if they really loved each other the way I thought they did, then yes - she had made a big mistake.

"Alice honey, I know you might not believe this, but I really do think it will work out somehow. Maybe you need to get some rest. I'll stay right here, okay?"

Without a word she lay back down. It seemed like I rubbed her back for hours. It seemed to comfort her, this proof that I was still there. Edward peeked in the door once, and I just shook my head at him, he nodded and crept out again. Eventually, her breathing evened out and she fell asleep.

I lay awake for a while longer, wondering what might happen. How could this be the right thing for her if she was in so much pain? It seemed to me that there had to be a way for them to work it all out. On the other hand, I did see her point. It wouldn't be easy for me to be with someone if I was treated that way by their family. And if they never defended me, that would make it so much worse. I had to wonder why Jasper acted that way when it came to his mom. When I saw him with Alice, it seemed like there was nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for her. To find this out, that he had treated her like this, it was unbelievable.

I slept for a while, waking often and checking on Alice. By 6:00am, I finally decided to head downstairs. I couldn't get back to sleep, and I had a feeling Alice wouldn't be getting up anytime soon. I wasn't surprised to find Edward, Esme and Carlisle all seated around the kitchen table. No one was talking.

Esme got up when I came in and hugged me tightly. "Thank you Bella. I knew you were the only one she would want to be with last night. Let me get you some breakfast."

She busied herself at the counter. Edward got up and kissed me softly, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"I don't think I slept at all last night. I wanted you in my arms. Please don't ever leave me."

The last thing he said was barely a whisper, but from the look on his face I could tell he had thought about it last night, what it would be like if it was the two of us in this situation - not Alice and Jasper. I wondered if he felt so strongly because it was all so new. I hoped he would still feel the same if we had been together for five years instead of a few months. Looking into his deep green eyes, I realized he surely would, and I found the first bit of peace I had felt since Alice came into his room last night.

Alice didn't get out of bed all day. She turned her phone off, as Jasper had taken to calling her every five minutes. He then started calling on the house phone, and she called us all together in her room.

"Please don't talk to him. Edward, you especially. I need to know if I can get through the next few days without him, and I won't be able to do that if you're talking to him or seeing him. After that, I'll get in touch with him. I need you all to do this for me."

She looked pointedly at Edward. He had already told me that he was going to try to go talk to Jasper face to face. Now Alice was asking him not to. I know it wasn't what he wanted, but he agreed to what Alice asked of him.

Carlisle spoke to Jasper on the phone and told him that Alice was asking for a few days, some time to think things over. He stopped calling.

He was at the front door an hour later. He looked terrible and he was still in his swim trunks and t-shirt from yesterday. Edward met him at the door.

"I'm sorry, but she really doesn't want to see you right now." I could tell that Edward was struggling, unsure of what was the right thing to do.

"You aren't even going to let me in? I have to stand outside the front door? I thought we were friends Edward." It sounded like he was trying to be angry, but didn't have the energy.

"She just needs a few days. This isn't between you and me. She asked me to do this, to give her time. I'm sorry Jasper. I have to do this for my sister."

I thought he might decide to just camp out, to sit on the porch like a stray dog until someone took pity on him. I was surprised when he turned on his heel with an angry curse and stalked back to his car. I was less surprised to hear his car tearing down the driveway, skidding as he pulled too fast out on to the main road.

Edward and I spent the day hanging out at his house, occasionally checking on Alice. We brought her some food, and tried to get her to talk. When it got late I asked her if she wanted me to stay with her and she said no.

I was getting ready for bed and Edward was in the shower. I decided to check on Alice one last time. I quietly opened her door and she was lying on her bed, snuggled in Esme's arms, crying her heart out. She looked completely undone. Again I wondered how this could be right. I met Esme's eye and she gave me a tight smile. I came closer and put my hand on Alice's cheek.

"I don't think I can do this, Bella. I miss him so much already." She mumbled something else but it was too garbled between all of her sobs for me to understand.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Do you want me to stay with you, too?" She shook her head no, and I knew that I would probably just want my mom too.

I walked back out of the room and Esme followed me. I wasn't sure if I should go back into Edward's room.

"Uhm, should I go sleep on the couch if you are going to be in with Alice?"

Esme gave me a smirk and actually rolled her eyes at me.

"Bella, I may not always pry, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on. I have one upset child, I don't need another. Go ahead and sleep in by Edward. But remember that we all expect you two to be mature and responsible. I can only handle one crisis at a time, and my plate is a bit full right now."

I knew I was blushing. She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight Bella, tell Edward I said goodnight too. I am just going to run in and tell Carlisle goodnight and then I'm heading back in. Thanks again for helping Alice."

I shut Edward's door behind me and turned to be greeted by the sight of Edward, fresh out of the shower with a towel wrapped low around his hips. He looked unbelievably amazing. He hadn't shaved for the past couple of days and there was a bit of brownish red stubble on his cheeks. It created more of a shadow, accentuating his gorgeous cheek bones. He looked kind of tired, and there were slightly dark marks under his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving my face.

Although I felt horrible about Alice and Jasper - I was feeling something completely different as I stared at this man in front of me. The inward curve of his hip bones, the sharp lines of his mouth watering six pack, his bare chest - it was all combining to present an incredibly enticing picture. I wanted to run my tongue over those abs and work my way down from there.

Edward walked past me and locked the door. He then settled on his bed, gesturing me to come to him. I swallowed, then walked over to him - resisting the urge to run.

When I was on the bed next him, he reached for me and drew me into a deep kiss. It would be the work of a moment to get rid of his towel, but I held back, falling into his kisses, losing myself to the hypnotic swirl of his tongue in my mouth. We stretched out next to each other on his bed. He buried his hand in my hair, pulling me closer. He moved his lips down my neck while my hands traced the hard lines of his body. His skin was so soft and warm, I wanted to meld myself to him, melt over his body, become a part of him.

He drew my shirt up over my head and then cupped my breasts in his palms through my bra. I wanted it off, wanted him now, my body hot and wet and willing to take what he would give. But he was moving slowly, being deliberate and consuming. It wasn't fevered love-making. It was something else, a time to forget all that was going on, to block everything else out until nothing existed but the two of us and the passion we felt for each other. My body shuddered, anxious for his touch. I leaned up and kissed his face, feathering them lightly over his square jaw and perfect nose. The warm fan of his breath over my face calling out a quiet moan from my body. He drew the straps of my bra down, making quick work of the clasp. He drew his chin over my taught nipples, the gentle rasp of his stubble over my sensitive skin causing an erotic sensation that had me pooling between my legs.

He gently thrust his hips against my side, allowing me to feel every glorious inch of his massive erection. I let him slide my shorts down, but as he ran his hands down my hips, attempting to remove my panties as well - I stopped him, pushing him back down on the bed. I pulled the towel open, revealing him in all his delicious glory.

He pushed his head back on the pillow while I nestled myself between his thighs. I ran my nails up the inside of his thighs while sliding my tongue over the arch of his hip bone. I looked up at Edward, his head was pushed back slightly, the cords of his neck straining, his eyes shut. He was utterly beautiful, every single inch of him. One slide of my tongue over his needy length told me I wasn't the only one wet and willing. I stroked my hand over him, holding tightly - my other hand gently cupping him underneath. He arched his hips in rhythm to my hand. I licked up the glossy bead that was once again collecting on his tip, realizing that this small quantity was something I could easily handle, and I savored the taste of him before swallowing. I took him into my mouth, working him hard with my hand and lips, sweeping over his satiny flesh with my tongue. As I could sense his control slipping away, he suddenly pulled back - his body going completely still as he fought to control his body's response. He then gently rolled me onto my back, the bed yielding under me as the balance of our weight on the mattress shifted.

He kissed me hard while he worked my panties down off of my legs - he slid his hand back up my thigh, gently parting me with his hand, before entering me with his finger. I cried out quietly - aware that Esme and Alice were across the hall. I wanted him in me so badly it hurt.

"Edward, I need you to fuck me, now. Please."

His expression changed. He stared down at me for a moment before removing his hand from me. He held my gaze as he slid his finger into his mouth - licking all of my wetness off.

"Is that what you want Bella? You want me to fuck you?"

I couldn't breathe properly, I nodded slightly in response to his question.

"I want you to tell me again Bella. Say it." He stared down at me as he made his command.

"I want you to fuck me." I sounded pitiful, the need I felt causing my voice to quaver, I was completely begging.

He leaned down over my body, nudging my thighs apart with his knee - positioning himself to slide into my body. He entered me with a hard lunge, his hands pulling my hips forward at the same time. I responded eagerly to his thrusting, pushing my hips hard up against him, meeting his lust and passion with my own.

He leaned down further onto me, my body absorbing his weight. His breath was a hot panting in my ear, punctuated by guttural moans.

He leaned up and used his hand to turn my head to the side, he placed his lips close to my ear as he said, "I'm going to fuck you long and hard Bella - just the way you want it. When I am finished with you - you're not even going to remember your own name."

I arched into him as he spoke - the words pulling me close to the edge. He shook his head as he withdrew from my body - I moaned in protest, clutching at him - trying to get him back.

"I said long and hard Bella - don't you dare cum yet - I'm no where near finished with you."

He was true to his words. We worked our bodies against each other for what seemed like an eternity. Every time he sensed that I was losing it - he brought me back - only to push me to the edge once again. His control amazed me. Finally - when I was completely sure that I was going to be driven insane - he changed his rhythm to something desperate - his control finally broken.

"Now, Bella - come with me now." All the build up was completely worth it. He grabbed my ass, pushing himself deeply inside as our bodies exploded and I slipped away into sweet oblivion.

We were both utterly spent. Although we should probably have showered or cleaned up, we simply entwined our naked bodies - becoming a mesh of arms and legs -and fell asleep.

The next day Alice was up and about. I had to work today so I was heading home. The Cullens were heading out to do some shopping. It was under the pretense of needing items for our trip - but I knew they were all going together in the hopes of cheering Alice up a bit. She put on a happy face and gave me a hug before I left.

"Thanks for being my very best friend Bella. I love you."

"Are you feeling a little better today? Are you okay?" I didn't want to set her off- but I needed to ask.

She smiled and nodded - I don't think she really wanted to open her mouth and say yes - knowing it would be a lie.

We all left the house at the same time. I kissed Edward goodbye and hugged Alice one last time. She got into Carlisle's Mercedes and closed the door behind her. She was wearing sweat pants. She was not okay.

It was five minutes to nine. I was tapping a pen on the counter by the cash register - counting the seconds until I could head for home. Aside from Mr. Newton - who was in the back office - the store was deserted. I had to wonder why they stayed open until nine. No one seemed to come in after seven - let alone later. I was removing my name tag - when I heard the bell on the door jingle.

I looked up - ready to tell the costumer that we were closing in a few minutes, in the hope of them getting what they needed quickly and being on their way. I was surprised to see Jasper approaching the counter where I was standing.

"Hey, you look terrible." It wasn't a very good greeting - but it was true. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping - he was handsome as ever - but he looked drawn - stretched to the limit.

He gave me a look that seemed to say 'what did you expect'.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you - I know you're done with work in a minute - and I was waiting outside for you - but then I realized that you might get freaked out if you walked into the deserted parking lot and some guy was waiting out there. I figured I should come in and let you know it was me."

It was kind of unsettling how in tune he always was to what people would feel. Knowing this made me wonder again how everything with Alice had gotten so out of hand.

"Alice would probably prefer that I don't talk to you - but I don't really care at the moment. Where do you want to talk?"

We decided to head back to my house. He followed me home and we settled at the kitchen table with some apple pie that my mom had made this morning. Jasper just moved the stuff around while I stuffed my face. I hoped Alice wouldn't be too angry with me if she found out.

"I'm probably breaking the whole friend code or something - but I want you to know that she isn't doing well Jasper - not at all. I think she wanted to kind of cut you out completely for a while - see if she could manage on her own - but I don't see that happening."

"Did you ever make a really big mistake Bella? Do something that was really stupid - and never really manage to fix it? I can't live without her - and it's all my fault."

"Not to pry, or stick my nose in where it doesn't belong, but why did you let your mom treat her that way? Alice is probably the most genuine person I know - I can't see someone disliking her so much for any reason."

Jasper rubbed his hand over his eyes and then looked down at his plate while he spoke.

"My mom was a model. She wasn't a big superstar or anything, but she did have a very busy life. My dad was pretty crazy for her when they met, and I think she always regretted getting married to him when she was so involved with her career. I think that she wound up believing she could have gone farther if she hadn't married him - not that that is necessarily true. My mom tends to cling to things, and has a way of bending things to suit her will. My parents divorced when I was twelve - I think they probably would have long before that - but my dad's work had him away so often that it was almost like they weren't married anyway. I was always the one thing that my mom claimed she had done right - and I don't think I ever really realized how manipulative she was with me until the past few days. See, we wound up in this little town due to dad's work. She eventually made a new life for herself, and as is her nature - everything was always about her. She always made sure that I saw her tears after they had a fight, always let me know what a sacrifice it was for her to live here, she always made sure that I loved her best - twisting everything my dad did so it looked like he was always wrong. When they got divorced I was given a choice of who to stay with, my mom sat on my bed that night, crying and hysterical because I was all that she had - and that if I chose to live with my dad that she would be all alone."

Once he started talking, the words just poured out - I had to concentrate to catch it all.

"When it was just the two of us I suddenly felt like it was my job to take care of her. I let her walk all over me, Bella. It was like I was always responsible for her happiness - and when I did anything she didn't approve of, she wouldn't let up until I gave in. Dating Alice was the only thing I ever did - and stuck to - that she was against. Do you realize that I've hardly seen my dad since they split because of her. I stayed here for school, because of her."

He then shoved a forkful of the pie into his mouth. I had a feeling he was a little embarrassed by the things he was admitting, and having his mouth full gave him an excuse to take a break. I wanted to give him a minute, so I headed to the fridge and poured us each a cold glass of milk. When I sat back down his plate was empty. He took a long sip of the milk.

"Thanks. I don't think I have actually eaten anything the past couple days. That was really good."

I offered him some more - but he declined. It seemed the food gave him the energy to continue.

"I knew how bad it all bothered Alice. That is the worst part of all of this. I knew. I used to tell her that I was defying my mom just by dating her, that telling my mom to knock it off was nothing compared to the fact that I didn't break up with her. I think I even made myself believe that. I was such an ass. I should have told her she had to keep her mouth shut about Alice - I should have defended Alice every time. I can never go back and fix it."

"I don't mean to interrupt you, or change the subject off of Alice - but what is her deal in terms of Carlisle. I mean, I have a feeling that adds to all of this too."

He let out a bitter laugh. "He's not the only one she chases. It's a pretty well known fact that my mom is a home wrecker. She also has a tendency to drink too much, dresses like she's sixteen, and still thinks she has the body and looks of a 20 year old model. She's really covering all the bases."

He gave an angry shake of his before finishing the contents of his glass.

"I packed all my stuff and moved out today. Before I did I made sure she knew exactly how I felt about how she always treated Alice. I told her I didn't even want her in my life at all anymore. I'm almost twenty years old - I think it's time I stop being such a mama's boy."

"I called about our apartment. The lease wasn't set to start for another month and a half - but they are going to let me move up the date. I can move in next week. I'm hoping Edward still wants to move in with me at the end of August."

"I appreciate that you shared all of that with me. I also imagine you had a specific reason for wanting to talk. What exactly do you want me to do?" I had a pretty good idea, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Can you try to talk to Alice for me. I know she will at least listen to you. I am already a huge wreck and it has only been a few days. What am I going to do in a week, a month? I made a huge mistake, nothing should have ever come before Alice in my life. I wanted to marry her, to have her as mine, forever. I just thought, maybe, you could tell her that I would never ever let anything or anyone come before her again. Tell her that if anyone ever so much as thought something about her that was unkind that they would have to deal with me. I want you to tell her that I love her more than life, that I made such a big mistake, but I am trying to fix it. Please tell her that I'm sorry."

"I will try. I can't promise she will listen to me though."

That must have been good enough for him, because he was suddenly flinging his arms around me in an awkward embrace.

"Thank you Bella."

He was getting ready to leave when I realized that he probably didn't have anywhere to go.

"Where are you going to stay?"

"I was planning on renting a hotel room for a few nights, until I can get in to the apartment."

I held up a finger gesturing him to wait. I ran to my parents' room and asked if Jasper could just take the spare room for a few days. They were happy to help. I ran back to the kitchen - hoping I wasn't ruining my friendship with Alice by offering Jasper a place to sleep.

"Jasper, why don't you just stay here until your apartment is ready. You are my friend and you are hurting. I hate to think of you in some hotel room, alone."

He looked unsure, and I was sure he was about to say no.

"I won't take no for an answer. Go grab your stuff, I'll show you where the room is and the bathroom."

He stared for another moment. "Are you sure?"

I smiled, relieved he was agreeing. "Absolutely."

It was just after midnight when my phone rang. I had been laying on my bed reading, waiting for Edward to call. I knew they were planning on getting back late.

"Hi honey, I miss you. How was the shopping?"

"It's so good to hear your voice. It's like getting to talk to an angel." I smiled.

"You are a charmer Edward Cullen." He laughed softly.

"I got you something today. A little something to wear on the beach. And I do mean little." He was using his sexy voice. I love when he uses his sexy voice.

"My dad saw me at the counter, and he asked why I was buying black string. I told him it was a bathing suit and he almost choked. He wanted to know where the rest of it was."

I started laughing. "That's great. It sounds just like something I'd pick out for myself. How thoughtful of you."

"Sorry. It's not my fault that you're too sexy to be real. I'm a man and I happen to enjoy seeing your beautiful body."

I was startled out of the conversation by a soft knock on my door and Jasper's deep quiet voice wishing me a goodnight. I was so dazzled by Edward that I nearly forgot to tell him the important news about my house guest.

"Goodnight." I called out.

Edward's voice was confused. "Oh, okay. Goodnight. Are you tired? I thought you'd want to talk for a little while. Are you upset about the bathing suit?"

I laughed. "No, silly. I wasn't saying goodnight to you. I was talking to Jasper. He's going to be staying here for a few days."

_**Thanks for reading! Their trip will be up next, and you will get to see how the Alice/ Jasper situation gets resolved. **_


	31. Hawaii part 1

Disclaimer: Twilight works are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended.

_AN: Hope you all had a wonderful 4__th__ of July holiday! If you are looking for a story that is wonderful about the Cullens in Hawaii - you need to read She's Royal by halojones (actually - you just really need to read everything written by halojones)._

Chapter 31 Hawaii (part one) or "A Good Lei"

(Bella)

I had just told Edward that Jasper would be staying at my house for a few days. I had expected him to have some questions for me, I wasn't expecting the complete silence that ensued. I waited another moment before speaking again. I realized immediately that he was probably jealous. That boy evidently does not realize the amazing hold he has over me.

"Edward, are you still there?"

"I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm here. When did all of this happen? I thought Alice didn't want us to talk to Jasper for a while."

"He showed up at Newton's just before it closed and asked if he could talk to me. I know what Alice said, but I needed to see if I could help."

"Where is he sleeping?" Ah yes, there is the jealous man I know and love.

"He was so sad that I told him he could stay with me in my room. He's next to me right now, do you want to say hi? I didn't know Jasper slept naked, did you?"

"You had better be joking Bella. If not - I don't care if he is my best friend, I'm going to kill him."

"He's staying in the spare room, Edward. He knocked on my door without opening it and said goodnight as he walked down the hall. He is completely distraught about Alice. I'm sure that is just a front though. I bet he's hiding in the shadows, ready to jump me as soon as I fall asleep."

"Really funny Bella. I'm glad you are so easily amused."

"I'm sorry, honey. Are you really upset? I was just teasing you. I think it's sweet that you are so protective of me."

"I'm sorry, too. I know I have a tendency to overreact. But - for your information - Jasper is a guy, and I happen to know he thinks you're hot, lock your door before you go to sleep, okay?"

"What? Are you serious?" I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or shocked.

"I'm joking Bella. Well, not entirely, he does think you're hot, but who could blame him. How exactly did he wind up needing a place to stay?"

I explained to him the details of our conversation, and relayed the fact that Jasper had stood up to his mom and moved out.

"Did you know all of this was going on? With Alice and your dad and everything?"

"I knew some of it. Here's the thing, Alice is the kind of person that almost everyone likes. It's just the way she is, she just gives off a vibe of cheerfulness or something. I know that she didn't really want people to know the real situation with Jasper's mom. I think she always felt like it was something she did, and it always bothered her. After talking to Jasper, you probably know more than I do."

"Did you know his mom once gave your dad a key to a hotel room?"

Silence again.

"I guess it doesn't really surprise me. I think it's common knowledge to people that live here that she chases men, especially men she has no business showing interest in. Dad's still way too crazy over mom to ever do something like that. Plus, my dad happens to have a lot of practice refusing women. I think he's been fighting off nurses since med school." He laughed quietly.

We talked a bit more about our trip. We were leaving in two days. I was incredibly excited. I wondered if Jasper had been invited on the trip, and if he had - what was going to happen now?

"Was Jasper supposed to go with us?"

"Yes, my parents invited him, he's got the plane tickets and everything. I think Alice told him she didn't want him to go. My parents are trying to be diplomatic. I think they told her that they had extended the invitation and that he was still my friend, so if he wanted he was still welcome to come. I think I'll call him quick, seeing you've already broken Alice's rule. I'm not going to hear you in the background am I, rolling around in the blankets while I'm talking to Jasper? You know it would break my heart."

"Ha, ha. Very funny. I wasn't lying to you. He is on the other side of the house. Besides, the only naked guy I want in my bed is you, in case you haven't figured that out yet."

Edward huffed. "I was only kidding. And if you really want me naked in your bed I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"The way you drive, it's more like five minutes, and as much as your offer entices me, I have to decline. My parents are being really good about Jasper being here, I don't want to push it."

"What a shame."

We said goodnight and I settled down to sleep. I had last minute packing to finish in the morning.

As it turned out, Edward couldn't talk Jasper into still coming to Hawaii with us. I kept hope in the back of my mind that he might just show up at the airport. I also found out how serious Alice was about us not having contact with Jasper. Edward must have told her that he was here. Unfortunately, she didn't take that news well at all. While I was in the shower, she called and left me a message. I have never heard Alice really angry until I heard that message. She asked me not to call her and pretty much gave me a long tirade about all the ways I was not being a good friend to her. Instead of making me regret my decision to talk to Jasper, it just made me angry. I wasn't five years old, and I didn't take it lightly when people treated my like I was. I called her several times, only to receive her voice mail. I left her a message each time, until her voice mail was full.

I was staying at the Cullen's tonight, as we would be leaving early in the morning to head to the airport. I gave my parents lots of hugs and also tried one last attempt to change Jasper's mind. He was disappointed that Alice had gotten so mad at me for letting him stay. He was really counting on her listening to me. I wasn't going to let him down. As annoyed as I was at Alice for her behavior, I knew she was simply behaving that way because she was hurting.

When I got to their house, Edward met me at my car, as usual. I asked about Alice and he just said that she left and he had a feeling she wouldn't be back until later. It didn't matter. We would all be together for the next week, she would have to listen to me sometime.

Sure enough, when Alice got home, she headed straight for her room. I knocked and she let me in. I was a little surprised that she even opened the door. Unfortunately, she simply said hello and that she had received my messages, and that she wasn't interested in hearing what I had to say right now. She then asked me to leave, closed the door and locked it. She turned her radio on, loud - just for good measure.

The next morning the alarm rang at some ungodly hour. If I wasn't so excited about our trip, I would have been severely cranky. Everything had been packed in the car the night before. We threw on our clothes and got ready to head out. I wasn't really interested in anything other than a cup of coffee and dozing on Edward's shoulder during the ride. Alice stared out her window, not talking to anyone. Edward sat between us in the backseat, his long legs bent at awkward angles. Esme offered to sit in the backseat, but he insisted he was fine. I doubted he would be able to walk correctly when we got to the airport.

I did doze on Edward's shoulder as we drove. And before it seemed possible, I was in my seat on the plane as we got set to taxi. Jasper wasn't at the airport. I don't know why I was surprised. It just seemed like he was the kind of guy that would pull that grand romantic gesture. I had concocted all sorts of scenarios - I imagined him waiting with flowers in his hands, or running to catch the plane just as they were closing the gate - calling Alice's name as he ran. When we lifted off, I finally realized that he really wasn't coming.

Hawaii was amazing. It was so lush and beautiful. I had been on vacations with my parents before, but traveling with the Cullens was a completely different experience. The hotel was completely luxurious, Edward and I had our own room in the suite. Alice had a room to herself as well, and the view was to die for. Carlisle was gone for much of each day, attending his conference. At night we all would meet up for dinner, and of course we only ate at the very best restaurants. It was almost overwhelming.

Alice and Esme spent most of their time together. They would shop or sight-see or spend an hour or two on the beach or at the pool. Alice was still completely avoiding me. If I so much as opened my mouth to speak to her, she went in the other direction. I knew Edward was trying to give me a very nice vacation - so I tried to not be upset for his sake. He took me to see all of his favorite spots, they had vacationed in Hawaii several times, and he knew lots of great spots that didn't seem quite as crowded as the regular touristy areas. We walked along the beach and swam in the pool. He took me shopping, and insisted I wasn't allowed to even bring my purse along. I was probably going to need an extra suitcase to bring home all the stuff I was acquiring.

Being in Hawaii was making me extremely frisky, and Edward joked that if I was going to be so 'accommodating' that we should move here. Everything just felt so sensual. We were all barely dressed most of the day, the air was perfumed and heavy with intoxicating smells. The sound of the ocean as a constant background - that rhythmic pounding sound that seemed to become a part of you. It didn't hurt that our bed was the most comfortable thing I have ever laid on, the sheets had to be like a million-thread-count or something - it just seemed wrong not to climb between them naked, letting the luxury seep into my skin. It was actually good on one hand that we had so much time to ourselves - seeing as we were behaving like a couple of insatiable newlyweds.

If I thought I was having a hard time keeping my hands off of Edward, it was nothing compared to how I was feeling after I watched him surfing. My own personal little secret is that I have a thing for surfers. On the rare occasion that my family took a vacation to the beach, I tended to sit on the shore - engrossed in the boys with their boards. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I've always lived in areas that are fairly landlocked - and that whole surf culture was mysterious to me. Perhaps it had to with the fact that I tended to get knocked on my butt by the waves - so watching the boys surfing gave me something to do while I was safe on the sandy shore. Whatever it was - there was definitely something about a sandy guy in a wet suit that made me happy. Edward tried to convince me that he could teach me to surf before we got here. I argued otherwise. After we were here - and he saw that I was incapable of staying upright after being hit by the smallest of waves, he relented. I told him I would probably enjoy watching him more than ingesting large amounts of seawater anyway. On our third day in Hawaii we left at a horribly early hour to trek to a small surf shop twenty minutes from our hotel. The hotel and surrounding shops all rented boards - but Edward needed a very specific board and insisted he had to go to this specific shop - one the 'locals' used. Once he had his board we went back to our room and he donned some low-riding board shorts grabbed the wetsuit he had packed. His shorts were low on his hips, the tips of the bones jutting out - the muscular "V" at the bottom of his waist drawing my eyes lower still. He really looked the part, with the great tan he had soaked in over the past few days and his hair flopping in his eyes. I wondered if he had any idea of just how amazing he was to look at. If he had asked if I wanted to stay in the room and simply stare at him all day I would have voted yes without a second thought. He had his hand behind his back and when he held it out - the infamous swimsuit he had purchased for me was lying on his palm. There definitely wasn't much to it.

"I was hoping you would wear this today." He smiled as he said it, his eyes had a far-away look - as if he were already imagining it on me.

I picked the suit up and held it out in front of me. I could understand why Carlisle had thought he was buying string. It surprised me that Edward would buy such a revealing suit for me to wear. Actually - if he had bought it for me to wear at his pool - when it was just the two of us - I wouldn't have been surprised at all - but seeing as how he gets jealous of every guy that walks by us - I was thinking the suit didn't seem like the smartest thing for him to pick out. I wasn't delusional enough to think I would look so amazing that guys would be staring - far from it - it's just that it was the type of bathing suit specifically designed to draw attention. I continued to stare at the skimpy bikini I was holding in front of me.

"Bella, just put it on for me, please. I've been waiting to see it on you." He kissed me softly on the neck, knowing I couldn't resist him.

"Fine. I'll be out in a minute." I took the suit in to our room, angry that he didn't fight fair - I didn't stand a chance when he kissed me, ever.

I surveyed myself in the mirror. I had a fairly good tan, which helped the suit to not look quite so hideous. I was suddenly extremely glad that I had gotten a bikini wax right before we left. I wasn't huge on top, but I had enough that I was nearly popping out of the little triangles of black fabric tied in place by strings at my neck and back. I rolled my eyes at my image. I thought of the exercise room on the main floor - if I went down there right now and spent the next year on the elliptical and treadmill I might be able to actually pull this suit off. I grabbed a cover up and headed for the door - the quicker I got this over with the better.

Edward turned to look at me as soon as he heard the door. I fought the urge to suck in my stomach, not wanting to see the look on his face when he saw me.

"Bella." His voice was soft as a breath - and the emotion behind it caused me to look up. His eyes were blazing with raw lust.

Well now - if that wasn't the little confidence boost. I walked over to him, my stomach doing crazy flip-flops as his eyes ran up and down my body.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"No. I love it Bella. I imagined how you would look with that on - but my imaginings never ever do you justice. You look absolutely amazing." He wrapped his hands around my waist, his thumbs tickling the lower curve of my belly, just above my suit. He feathered kisses at the top of my breasts and then dipped his tongue and licked a path up between them. I let out a shuddering breath as his touch ignited my skin like fire. As he kissed his way up my neck, I nuzzled my cheek on his silky hair. When he reached my ear he whispered in a husky, throaty voice, "and you're all mine."

He kissed my lips then, dragging his lips and tongue over my mouth in that sinful seduction that I would never get enough of - even if he kissed me forever. I was disappointed when he finally pulled away.

He mentioned that his parents were having breakfast on the balcony. We weren't usually up this early but our excursion to procure a surf board at dawn had us dressed and ready to head to the beach by 7:00. We had stopped and had some amazing coffee earlier, but my stomach wasn't ready for food then. We were both a little hungry and decided to snag something quick with Carlisle and Esme. Esme had been ordering up these fabulous fruit trays each morning, they were almost too beautiful to eat. My mouth was watering for some strawberries and pineapple.

"You two are out and about early this morning." Esme greeted us with her usual warmth.

Carlisle smiled and greeted us as well, after he swallowed the mouthful of omelet he was working on when we came out. Edward made us each a plate of fruit and then sat next to me.

"Edward is going surfing, so we had to get up early and get his board."

Esme nodded, "Edward took lessons on two of our trips to California. He catches on to things so quickly. He's an excellent snowboarder as well."

"Surprise, surprise." I said with mock sarcasm. He gave me a playful jab with his elbow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that you can do everything. It's pretty darn impressive actually." He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose.

I looked up and noticed that Esme was watching our interaction. She smiled when she caught my eye and went back to her breakfast. Carlisle filled us in on the topics of his meetings today - I zoned out pretty quickly after the words "macular degeneration and nonmalignant lesions" . Esme was spending part of the day at the spa with Alice.

"At 4:00 I booked a spot for one of those dolphin experiences - where you get to swim with them and work with their trainers. Alice isn't interested, are you two?"

Esme looked as if swimming with dolphins was going to be the high point of her life. I thought that swimming with a large mammal that spent its life in the water was a little bit creepy. Edward smiled at Esme. He looked gung-ho on the dolphin front as well. Maybe I just didn't get it.

"I would love to go. Can I swim with a dolphin too?" I had to laugh at his enthusiasm. He sounded like he was three - it was adorable.

"Really?" Esme asked - she was obviously hoping to have some company.

"Yes. I think that will be so cool. Why didn't you tell me you were planning this? I am definitely in."

I laughed. "I think I will sit this one out. It sounds like it will be nice for you two to go and do this together."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I want you to go and have a wonderful time."

Esme was thrilled. "Great. I should have asked you earlier. I didn't know you would be interested. Carlisle and Alice think I'm crazy. And from the way Bella is giggling over there I am going to guess she sides with the two of them."

Edward and I had finished our fruit and we got up to leave.

As we were about to open the door Esme spoke again.

"I just noticed your suit Bella." I froze in my tracks. "It looks just like the one Carlisle picked up for me when we were shopping the other day." Edward's eyes met mine, and I had to struggle to keep my face straight.

I sneaked a look at Carlisle and was amazed that he was simply smiling.

"When was that dad? Before or after I bought some string?" Edward asked in a teasing voice.

Esme just furrowed her brow in confusion.

Carlisle laughed and shook his head, obviously remembering the conversation. "After." He shrugged. "Hey, the Cullen men happen to have good taste, what else can I say."

They both slapped on identical smirks then.

Esme eyed my suit again. "Seeing it on you makes me think it probably is meant for someone more your age." I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks.

"Esme, that suit is utterly beautiful on you. Believe me." Carlisle said the words so suggestively and stared into her eyes so intently as he spoke that the undercurrent was palpable.

Edward cleared his throat dramatically. "Maybe we should give you two some privacy."

Esme laughed as she playfully smacked Edward's arm. Carlisle just kept staring at her. His desire for her obviously hadn't been lessened by their years together.

We made a hasty exit.

I grabbed our bag and we headed for the beach. We walked down the beach a ways until we came to an area where there were some other surfers. I pulled the blanket from the bag and set it out a little ways away from where the water was coming up. I was close enough that I would have a wonderful view. I slathered some sun block on and turned to see Edward pulling on his wetsuit. It hugged every inch of him, and I couldn't help but feel a little bit smug over the fact that this godlike man was with me. He gave me a kiss and I walked with him to the edge of the water. As I watched him walking, his board under his arm - I had to laugh at how stupid I was being - there was a part of me - that secret little fantasy part - that was absolutely giddy that I was here on a beach with a real surfer. I walked out a bit into the water with him, right to that point where when the water pulls back, it pulls the sand right out from under your feet. It is a feeling I simultaneously love and hate. I love the sensation of the sand and water as it runs under my feet. I hate the feeling that the bottom of my stomach is dropping out, that freefall sensation - like the ocean is letting you know that it is far more powerful than you will ever be - and if you aren't careful it will whisk you away just as easily as the grains of sand. It is a feeling that has always terrified and enticed me.

I cross my arms in front of me, suddenly feeling chilled and exposed. I'm thinking of tossing on my cover-up. Edward reads my face way too easily.

"Don't you dare cover up, I want to be able to look back at the beach and see your beautiful body while I ride the waves."

I already know that I won't put the cover-up on, simply because he said not to. A part of me resents the fact that I acquiesce to him so easily - another part wonders at his ability to possess me so completely.

He kisses me once again, cupping my ass with his hand, pulling me to him tightly.

"Time to go teach these guys a thing or two." He laughs as he releases me.

I roll my eyes at him. "You're so cocky Edward."

"No Bella - I'm not cocky - I'm confident - there's a big difference." He winks at me and then heads out, ducking under waves until he is out far enough to lay on his board and paddle.

I settle down on the blanket, watching Edward intently. There are five guys surfing including him. As I watch it is clear that one of them is pretty clueless, he spends a lot of time flailing around - unable to catch a single wave. Another one is really good. He looks older than the others, and he's very steady and sure. He seems to wait for just the right wave and then manages to look poised and graceful as he rockets toward the shore. The others, Edward included, are pretty good. They catch every wave they can, riding some - completely wiping out on others. When Edward falls I stop breathing - I find myself standing - my heart in my throat - until I see him surface. Then I calm down and sit and watch some more. When he catches a good wave, I am entranced. He is such a slice of delicious that I can barely stand it. Edward Cullen is sex on a surf board.

Edward rides the waves for a while, waving to me when he is near the shore, or smiling my way when he is particularly pleased with a run He's having fun, and enjoying being able to showcase another of his talents for me. He's also got some sort of camaraderie going with the other surfers. They are all joking, banging knuckles when they make it all the way in, ragging on each other when they fall - it's male bonding at its finest I suppose. I take a few trips down to the waters edge to splash around and cool off. I don't dare venture further than my knees on my own, I'll surely be swept away if I do.

Finally, when I am positive he must be completely waterlogged, Edward comes venturing back onto the sand, two of his surf buddies in tow. I stand to greet him and can begin to make out the conversation. I blush when I realize that the two guys behind Edward are talking about me, specifically mentioning the size of my boobs in relationship to the size of my top. I notice that Edward's smile has quickly turned into a very angry scowl. I'm not entirely surprised when he stalks up to the blanket and starts digging through our bag. Water bottles and suntan lotion go flying in all direction until he finds the item he's looking for. He tosses his long-sleeved rashguard at me and then turns to the other two guys - who have set their boards down in the sand near our blanket. I pull the shirt on over my suit. The guys mumble something about not knowing I was with Edward.

We finally settle down on the blanket. Edward looks tired. He grabs a bottle of water and downs it quickly - then digs in the bag for another.

"Being in that salt water totally dehydrates me." He explains as he sucks back the second bottle.

He strips his wet suit off, his hair is sparkling in the sun from all the sand embedded in it. His hands have some deep scrapes.

"I loved watching you. You were really good. I have to say - you have definitely impressed me once again." I lean in and whisper in his ear, "I think I have a really big crush on a surfer."

He smiles and kisses me, a sweet lingering kiss. His lips are incredibly salty. We start packing up our stuff and as I am leaning over to fold up the blanket, the shirt rides up, exposing most of my barely clad rear. I notice the other surfer boys nudging each other and glancing in my direction. By the time our bag is packed he is in complete jealous boyfriend mode. He picks up the bag and then throws me over his shoulder. I scream in surprise, my legs kicking wildly in front of Edward, my arms down near his bottom. He grabs his board under his other arm and begins stalking back up the beach. His 'friends' are laughing as we go.

Once we are closer to the hotel, Edward sets me down. I have to sit for a minute as most of the blood has rushed to my head. He flashes my crooked smile and kneels in front of me. His face is so close, and his green eyes are dazzling. He gently cups my cheek in his hand, stroking my face with his thumb.

"I'm sorry about the bathing suit. It does look incredible on you, but I knew when I bought it that it isn't the type of thing you would normally wear. Guys stare at you no matter what you have on - but to ask you to where - well, almost nothing - when I took you to the beach was incredibly rude of me. I feel like I treated you like a piece of meat. I think a part of me wanted to show you off, but I think I need to work a little on not being so jealous before I'm ready for that. I'm sorry."

I knew he wanted forgiveness - but there really wasn't anything to forgive. I wonder at his jealousy - it's not as if he doesn't get his share of stares every time we go anywhere. Should I act more jealous? Maybe I should throw him over my shoulder and haul him away the next time a waitress flirts with him. Yeah, of course we would probably never get to eat out again if I did that, seeing as how it always happens.

"Edward, don't beat yourself up. I know you got me the bathing suit because you thought it would look nice and you wanted to see me in it. I don't feel like you treated me badly. Just so we're clear - you really don't need to be so jealous. I know there were quite a few guys on the beach today, but I only noticed one. He had dazzling green eyes, this amazing copper color-hair, that looks kind of brown when it gets wet. He had an amazing body and he was incredible on a surf board. I think I might have to wash this bathing suit, because the naughty fantasies I was having while watching him made me incredibly wet. You are the only one I want Edward."

He closed the small space between us and kissed me again. He pulled away slightly and as I inhale I detect the tang of sea water, combined with sweat and that unique bouquet that is simply the essence of Edward - I imagine this is what sunshine would smell like. He leans into my neck and takes a deep breath. He chuckles and turns away, ready to resume our walk back to the hotel. I notice that he casually adjusts himself and then positions the bag in front of him to hide the erection that he is now sporting.

I give him a questioning look and he says, "The smell of suntan lotion tends to have that effect on me."

He begins walking and I stand for a moment pondering his statement. I intend to just let it go, until I realize that he's blushing. Now I'm really curious.

I fall into step beside him. He reaches for my hand and I gladly place mine in his.

"Are you going to explain that statement?"

He shakes his head 'no', his ears and neck still burning scarlet.

"You have to. I'm not going to let it go until you do. Tell me, please." I look up through my lashes and try to give him my best pout.

He drops his shoulders and looks away - but I can smell victory.

"Please." I plead again.

"Fine, but this stays between you and me - okay?" I nod, eager to have more secrets that are ours alone.

He really looks embarrassed and there is a moment of quiet before he starts talking again.

"Several years back, my family was on vacation in the summer. We went to a resort on a lake in Colorado. Well, that was the summer that I learned just how good it could feel to stroke my little friend." He looked at me, trying to figure out if I was getting the gist of his story.

"You figured out how to masturbate - I get it." He snorted at my bluntness.

He didn't look at me as he told the rest of his story.

"So I also figured out that it tended to feel better when it was slicker, and there just happened to be a big bottle of suntan lotion in the bathroom. I was like a fiend, Bella. I'd lock myself in the bathroom several times a day - a squirt of suntan lotion in my hand and I was good to go. And now, well, I'm like Pavlov's dogs - I smell suntan lotion and I pop an erection and feel the need to go pound it in the bathroom. It's strangely disturbing and I can't actually believe that I just told you all of that."

I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. I had to stop walking, as I wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I gasped out between the last of my giggles.

I faced Edward and he was still looking embarrassed. I'm sure my laughing didn't help.

"Well, on the bright side - I bet you never got a sunburn on it - not after all that sunblock." He rolled his eyes at my attempt at humor. He raised my hand, which he had recaptured in his, and kissed the back of it.

"I don't ever want to talk about it again. Take it to your grave." He sounded serious.

"I promise - it will never be spoken of again." I put my hand over my heart as I said it. He smiled.

"Thanks."

When we reached our suite it was deserted once again. We made a bee line for our bathroom. We had one of those incredible showers with all the jets that shoot out everywhere. Edward had tossed his shorts in the sink, I noticed - sadly - that his problem from the beach was now gone. I sat up on the counter and Edward walked over to me. He pulled the shirt up over my head.

"I don't think you need this on anymore." He tossed it into the sink with his shorts.

He nestled himself between my thighs and kissed me deeply. I couldn't stop the low moan forming in my throat. He went to work on the ties of my top, not breaking the kiss as his fingers moved. I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked it gently. Edward's hands were working on my bottoms when I worked my hands up into his hair. It was full of sand.

He moved his mouth down my jaw, while he gently fondled my breasts. I could feel him hardening as he pushed against me. I wanted him - all over me.

"I want to be in you right now my Bella - but I have to get this sand off of me first."

I gave him a look that was meant to convey how not okay this plan was. We could deal with the sand later. Then he leaned over slightly and shook his head. I think half the beach started pouring out of his hair.

I sighed and hopped off the counter, leaving my suit behind as I started the shower.

I joined him under the slightly warm spray, glad to get the sticky sweat and lotion off of me. He really was full of sand. The bottom of the shower was gritty with the little particles. I grabbed the shampoo and began working it through his hair. I had to wash his hair three times before I was satisfied that most of the sand was out. I kissed him and he smiled.

"I could get used to this. You're spoiling me."

"Let me spoil you some more." I washed his entire body, there was sand in his ears, between his toes and everywhere in between.

"Is this all from surfing?"

He laughed. "When you fall you tend to get tossed around with the sand for a bit. It gets everywhere."

I didn't often get the chance to just touch his body. I marveled at how incredibly beautiful it was. Even his toes were adorable. His calves and thighs were lean and tight with muscle. His ass was perfect, and it was even cuter at the moment because it was shockingly white compared to the rest of his tanned body. I couldn't resist giving it a playful smack.

Edward knew I was taking careful inventory. He put his arms out to the sides and rested his palms on the tile. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back into the spray. He was striking a very sexy pose, for my benefit. I ran soap up his tight stomach and over his pecs. I purposely skipped the glorious hardness between his legs - I knew if I put my hands there - I was done for. I loved the slip of my hands over his shoulders and arms. He was so solid.

I stepped back, sure that most of the sand was off of him, and desperate for him to take me. He opened his eyes and smirked at me.

"Are you satisfied?" I knew he was referring to the sand situation - I didn't care.

"No." I whispered.

He turned the water off and pressed me against the wet tile, our wet bodies sliding against each other. I cried out loudly as his hand slid past my belly button and pressed against my burning desire.

We were kissing and touching frantically as we made our way out of the bathroom. Edward managed to towel some of the water off of us as we went. I had my hand wrapped around him, gliding up and down. He leaned me against the wall of our room, his tongue forceful and probing in my mouth. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He eased me down, slipping inside of me with a tenderness that seemed at odds with the raging need I was feeling. I gasped as he thrust his hips forward, he was so deep and so hard.

Each time he pushed himself deep in to me, my back was slammed against the wall. He ran his arm higher up my back to cushion me, and then quickened his pace. He covered my mouth with his, swallowing my moans as he ravaged my body.

We moved to the bed and as he was laying me down I eyed the fluffy white robes hanging on the bathroom door. I got up and grabbed the long white tie from one of them.

"Sit at the edge of the bed." I commanded. Edward eyed me warily, I didn't often order him around.

He sat as I requested. I climbed on the bed behind him.

"Put your arms behind your back." He did as he was told and I wrapped his wrists securely. I climbed off the bed and nestled myself between his thighs.

"What are you doing Bella?" He looked pleased.

"Just enjoy."

I ran my hand over him, he was still slick from my wetness. He threw his head back and let out a low groan. I closed my mouth over him, tasting myself all over his skin. I delighted in the noises he was making.

"Do it harder Bella." I squeezed my hand tighter around him. I sucked harder and moved my mouth faster. Me head bobbing up and down in his lap. Delicious lapping noises filling the room.

He started moving his hips with me. "Shit, yeah, Bella - just like that - that's so good."

Each time I knew he was getting close I eased off, drawing him out - making him work for it.

"You're killing me Bella." His arms were struggling behind his back and I knew he would probably be free any moment. I wasn't surprised when his hands were suddenly tangled in my hair, moving my head in the rhythm he desired.

Then I was on my back, on our ridiculously comfortable bed, absorbing the solid weight of Edward as he inched his way inside of me. It was cruel and slow and torturous. My nails were clawing, scoring his ass - urging him on.

"Please Edward, I need you now - all of you. Please."

He nipped a trail along my collar bone. He continued teasing me.

"Please."

"That's right, baby - beg me for it."

I was past the point of coherence. I simply made some sort of breathy whine.

"Let me give you what you need." His words barely registered as his body began a furious motion. My hips surged under his and we became lost in each other.

We made love passionately. Edward's control and stamina amazing me once again. When I finally came, the orgasm rushed through my body so powerfully that my entire body was still trembling - minutes later.

We settled into each others arms. My sweet Edward needed a little nap before his dolphin adventure.

I pulled Edward's arm closer around me. I closed my eyes and dreamed.

_**Thanks for reading - I will post the second half of this chapter asap. **_


	32. Hawaii part 2

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight series and its related characters.**_

_**AN: Here is your Alice and Jasper resolution - I hope you enjoy. There is a bit of fluff - but nothing lemony - SORRY! **_

Chapter 32 Hawaii Part 2 (Moonlight)

(_Bella_)

We woke from our nap and Edward got ready to go out with Esme. Carlisle wouldn't be home until late this evening, which meant I would have a few hours alone with Alice. I was sure she probably had planned to go out somewhere - but I was determined to make her hear me out. This foolishness had gone on long enough.

I laughed as Edward and Esme chatted excitedly about the dolphins.

"You have the camera, Edward? I want to be sure we take lots of pictures."

"Yes, I have yours and mine. Will we get to feed them?"

"I think so. Let me look." She pulled a brochure out of her bag that detailed all the things they would be doing.

As they pored over their paper I caught a glimpse of Alice out of the corner of my eye. She was near her room and it looked like she was packing up her beach bag. She wasn't going to just leave. If she did I intended to follow her.

I said goodbye to the dolphin adventurers. I had to admit that their enthusiasm was a bit contagious. I almost would have liked to go along just to watch. Unfortunately - I had an Alice problem to deal with and I wasn't going to pass up the chance to work all of this out.

Edward and Esme had been gone for less than thirty seconds when Alice came sweeping by with all her beach paraphernalia. I stood in front of the door.

"Alice, you can't keep ignoring me. There are things we need to talk about."

She looked up at me for a moment. I thought she was going to say something, but she just turned around and locked herself in her room.

That did it. I had had more than enough of her acting like a spoiled baby. I stormed over to her door and banged on it several times with my fist.

"I am sure you can probably hear me, so I am just going to say what I have to say." I was yelling at the top of my lungs outside her door.

"You are my best friend, and I miss you. When Edward and I were talking about getting together, you told me to promise you that no matter what happened with him that we would always be friends. But as soon as you had a problem with Jasper you told Edward not to talk to him. I know you needed time and space - but it wasn't a fair thing to ask, Alice. Jasper came to Newton's the other night while I was working. He hoped that I could talk to you, that I could make you listen because I'm your best friend." I took a break from yelling, silently hoping she would respond. Again, she said nothing.

I was getting more annoyed by the moment.

"I know I can't understand everything that happened between you two. I am sure you were really hurt, but you are being totally unreasonable now. I'm sorry that I talked to Jasper - but someone needed to. He's hurting too Alice. He loves you so much - he told his mother how wrong she was - and moved out. Did you want me to send him off to some random hotel room to be alone? I don't do things like that to my friends."

I thought I heard her moving around. I waited a moment before resuming my yelling. My throat was starting to hurt, but I would yell myself hoarse if I had to.

"I wish you had told me, Alice. I don't understand why you kept everything that was happening to yourself. I would have listened - and it might have helped for you to have someone to talk to. I know Jasper made mistakes, but you are making quite a few of your own. Do you think it was easy for him to just cut his mom out of his life like that? Even if she is horrible - she's still his mom. That couldn't have been easy - but he did it for you. You know you still love him Alice. You aren't even the same person you were last week. You don't smile, you don't laugh. You are angry all the time. I know you're hurting, and that's why I forgive you for being such a jerk - but it has to stop. Please just talk to him Alice or talk to me - or something. I hate this."

Alice had dropped her bag outside her door. There was a water bottle sticking out of the top. I grabbed it and took a quick sip.

"You know what, just forget it. Obviously it doesn't matter to you that you have a friend who is trying to help. You also don't seem to care that there is an amazingly wonderful guy, that loves you and just wants the chance to talk to you. You are really being an idiot."

I banged my forehead on the door. I was just babbling now and I was so angry that I was starting to get mean. This really wasn't going the way I had planned.

"I'm sorry, you aren't an idiot. I love you Alice, you are still my very best friend. I'm just angry - and honestly - I am sick of talking to your door."

When she still didn't reply, I gave up. I took the water bottle in my hand and went to my room to grab a towel and the book I had packed. I wasn't sure where I was going to go, I just needed to get out of here.

I stopped at Alice's door one more time. I knocked again and called her name, "Alice!"

There was quiet, but then - muffled at first and then louder, I could hear her crying. It sounded like she was right on the other side of the door, I wondered if she had been the whole time. I tried the doorknob but it was still locked. I waited, sad that she was crying - mad that she still wasn't talking to me. Finally, I left.

I wound up at the pool. It was one of those lagoon-like, free form tropical masterpieces. The pool was crowded, but I wasn't planning on swimming. I found a free lounge chair over in one corner, half hidden behind all manner of green leafy foliage. They certainly went all out at this place. I settled myself on the comfortable chair and drank some more of the water. My throat felt raw from the yelling.

I sat for a long while. I tried unsuccessfully, to read. Mostly, I just sat there thinking or watching the people that were swimming. I wondered if Edward was having a good time, sure that he probably was. I thought about Alice. I wondered if I should call her, or go back upstairs to see how she was doing. It irked me that I was feeling so badly. She had been the one ignoring me for days, but I felt like I had treated her too harshly. I didn't go and check on her, and I didn't call. I just sat and wished that I had my friend back.

I looked at my watch and realized that Edward would probably be gone for at least two more hours. I was wishing I had gone with him. I missed him already. I turned and had a nice view of the beach. I stretched out on the chair and let the ocean hypnotize me. I tried to block out the noise of the kids yelling in the pool. A little while later, I sat up quickly, startled when I felt someone sit on the edge of my chair. It was Alice. Her eyes were red from crying.

"Move over." I let out an audible sigh. She was talking to me!

I scooted over and made room for her. She rested her head on my shoulder and we sat together. I was just going to ask her how she was, when she started speaking.

"You were right, I was being an idiot - and you probably should have called me something much worse.

I am so sorry Bella. I have been a really lousy friend and I hope you will forgive me."

I threw my arms around her and gave her a tight hug. And then something happened that hadn't happened in days and days - we started laughing, together. We laughed long and hard, until our stomachs hurt and we had tears in our eyes. I don't really know what was so funny, I think we were just happy.

"There's nothing to forgive. I've missed you."

"I came out of my room when you left. I was going to go after you, but I realized I had to talk to Jasper first. I called him, Bella." She smiled, her real Alice smile.

"You did?" I think I actually shrieked it at her. She had called him!!

She nodded and smiled, again.

"I did Bella. I have missed him so much. I can't even tell you how good it was just to hear his voice."

I grabbed her hand. "Well? What did you talk about?"

"Uhm, we talked about a lot of things. He's been moving some of his stuff into the apartment. He said I had to tell Edward that he gets the small room. We talked about his mom for a while. I told him that I miss him. He told me that he loves me."

"So? What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. It was so good to talk to him, but it was different. I think there are a lot of things we really need to work out face to face. We are going to meet up when I get back."

I was glad that they were talking at least.

"You were right when you said I have been making mistakes. Esme told me I was extremely juvenile to break up with him like I did. She said that if I thought I was an adult that I should have acted like one and tried harder to work things out with Jasper. He begged me Bella. He promised me he would try harder and I still did it anyway. What if that's it? What if we are really over now? And then I treated you like a complete bitch - that was the word you should have used, by the way."

"Alice, unless you want it to be over - I'm sure you two can work it out. And you aren't a bitch."

We were quiet for a while. It was so good to just be sitting here, quiet because we wanted to be - not because we weren't talking.

"I've always been careful about doing things Bella. I don't usually just screw things up so royally. I shouldn't have told Edward not to talk to Jasper. I also shouldn't have stopped talking to you. Did you ever dig yourself this big hole, and the more you tried to get out - you just kind of kept digging it deeper."

I nodded. Of course I had done that, we all make mistakes.

"Alice, I hope you know I wasn't trying to hurt you. I felt so bad for both of you, and I just wanted to help. Jasper told me a lot of things, and he really didn't seem very proud of how he let is mother treat you. I feel kind of bad for how she had manipulated him for so long. He didn't really want to stay at my house. I talked him into it. It's just that he looked so horrible. It's going to sound stupid, but I felt like I needed him to be somewhere that I could check on him - make sure he was ok."

I looked at Alice and her expression was pained. I realized how guilty she felt for inflicting that kind of pain on him.

"I know he loves his mom. In a lot of ways, she is the only family he has. She really limits the communication he has with his dad. I think that he feels obligated to take care of her. I can't really believe he actually moved out. Did you know that he got into Dartmouth? That was his first choice, and we had it all planned out - I would apply and meet him out there after I graduated. It was so exciting to think we would be across the country - far away from her. And then she threw a fit and cried and made Jasper feel like the worst son ever to be born. Of course he settled for State, and her reign of terror continued. I feel like he has sacrificed so much for her. I want him to get what he wants in life, Bella - even if it isn't me. He deserves to make his own choices."

We talked for a while longer about Jasper. I wondered why she wasn't still upstairs on the phone with him - but she said something about him having an appointment or something and they had had to cut the call short. It seemed like she was eager to talk to him again, and that she did want to get back together with him. I breathed a silent sigh of relief. All would be right with the world once again. They just belonged together.

We completely lost track of time. We caught up on all that had been going on. It felt so good to laugh and giggle and pick on Edward. She enjoyed my story about Edward's jealous beach moment.

"Did he really throw you over his shoulder?" Her eyes were huge in disbelief.

"He is unbelievable. Why didn't he just club you over the head with his board and drag you off by the hair. He could have gone classic caveman."

She also thought my story about Esme and I having the same bathing suit was extremely humorous.

"You should have seen your dad. He was giving her the sultry eyes - big time. She made some remark about being too old for that kind of suit. It was so funny."

"I can't believe they both got you the same suit. How nice that both my brother and my dad are raging perverts."

I laughed at her as she rolled her eyes.

"In my mom's defense - she does rock that suit, what little there is of it. We hung out here at the pool yesterday for a while and she wore it. I think I almost choked when she came out of her room with it on - but it did look really good. We went next door to that little deli around lunchtime - have you been over there? They have the best food. Anyway - there is this guy working the counter - he was probably about twenty-five. He was okay, nothing incredibly special, but I think he thought he was hot stuff. He actually had the nerve to try and strike up this conversation with us, and he kept referring to us as sisters. I swear Esme thought she was twenty again. You should have seen her strut out of that place Bella. And when I say strut - I mean strut. She was working it."

Although Alice's story was pretty funny, I actually was completely quiet with my mouth hanging open as I listened. I could not, for the life of me, picture Esme in that bathing suit - and then, to picture proper Esme, Alice and Edward's MOM, strutting her stuff for the deli guy. It really did not seem possible.

Alice laughed at my expression. "Yes Bella, it really happened. I think I am scarred for life for having had to witness it."

After that comment I did laugh.

When I checked my watch a while later it was already well after 7:00. Edward and Esme were probably back and Carlisle as well. We went back up to our room, arm in arm.

Edward, Esme and Carlisle were all sitting at the table. Carlisle was getting all the details on the dolphin fun. They all looked up when we came in, smiling together.

Edward pulled the chair next to him out and I slid into it. He pulled me close and I wound up mostly on his lap instead of on my chair. He nuzzled me and I breathed him in. I liked the fact that he was always affectionate with me, even in front of our parents.

"I missed you." He said quietly into my hair.

"How come you didn't call when you got back. I was missing you too."

"I saw your book was gone, so I figured you went to the pool or the beach. I decided to look for you, and it wasn't hard to find you. The two of you were laughing so loudly that I heard you from all the way across the pool. I thought you might need some time to catch up so I came back up here. I knew you were in good hands." He smiled at Alice and she smiled back.

Carlisle broke into our little private conversation. "They were just telling me all about their adventure. Why don't you let them show you all their pictures too." He sounded like he was being a little sarcastic.

Alice and I quickly flipped through the shots they had taken on both cameras. My favorite was one of Edward on his knees at the end of what looked like a dock. A dolphin was half out of the water and it looked like it was kissing him. His face was all scrunched up, and he looked utterly adorable. It was easy to see the boy in him in that picture.

There were other pictures I wasn't as fond of. There was a young woman in many of the pictures. I found out her name was Jane. She was smaller than Alice, if such a thing is possible. She wasn't really what I would consider to be pretty, but there was something interesting about her face that made you want to look at it. She had been the dolphin trainer that worked with Edward and Esme. In every picture that she was in with Edward - she wasn't looking at the dolphins.

"Jane was very sweet, she was even letting us do extra things that they normally don't allow. At least she was until Edward had to open his mouth and ruin it." Esme shot Edward a glare, but it seemed like she had done it in fun.

I looked at Edward, hoping for some clarification on the story. He was about to start talking but Esme beat him to it.

"She was rather taken with Edward, and she was just flirting her heart out - which was great because every time we asked her to do things with the dolphins she just kept saying yes. I think she was really trying to please us - and then Edward made a very pointed comment about feeling bad that his girlfriend didn't come along. Well, that changed everything. After that we were just regular old tourists, no more special treatment."

Edward huffed. "Okay mom. It wasn't awkward for me at all that you were willing to pimp me out for some extra dolphin time. Sorry it didn't work out for you."

I leaned in to Edward. I flashed the view screen of the camera at him, I had zoomed in on a profile of Jane's face.

"Were you attracted to her at all?" I had a masochistic need to know.

He shook his head. "Not in the least. She was sweet and sure knew a lot about dolphins - but no, I was absolutely not attracted to her."

I raised an eyebrow. "Was she wearing suntan lotion." I asked him snidely.

He shot me a hurt look. "Isabella Swan you are a liar. You promised."

I worried that I had really offended him. And he was right - I had promised.

My eyes were very big and my lips pouted of their own accord. "I'm sorry, that was really low. I do get jealous too, you know."

He smiled my beautiful smile and kissed the tip of my nose and then my forehead. "Good. I like when you get jealous. For your information, between the dolphins and the little fish we had to feed them and the salt water - I would never have been able to smell it anyway."

We all went out to one of those faux luaus for dinner. It turned out to be a lot of fun, with tons of good food and "authentic" Hawaiian entertainment. The fact that Alice and I had made amends also helped to give the night an air of celebration.

Edward and his dad were discussing their plans for tomorrow. Carlisle was finished with his conference, so he had the last days to truly be on vacation. He was taking Edward sport fishing. The extreme, strap yourself into a seat, wear gloves so you don't cut your hands, five men to haul in the fish, kind of sport fishing.

Edward explained that they had intended to go last time they were in Hawaii, but somehow they hadn't been able. Carlisle had called and reserved a trip for them tomorrow as a surprise to Edward. It was obvious that he was extremely psyched. The ladies decided they needed to plan something entertaining for tomorrow as well.

And when the last performers of the night walked off the stage - Alice and Esme looked at each other and said - at the same time - "Hula Lessons!"

I spent much of the rest of the night laughing with Alice in her room. It got so late that I slept in with her. Edward wasn't willing to be without me, and he wound up sleeping curled at the foot of the bed like a cat.

Carlisle and Edward left early for their day. I got up with him to say goodbye properly. They weren't due back until much later tonight. I kissed him fiercely and made him promise to be careful.

I crawled back in with Alice and we slept until later in the morning.

Esme found us a Hula class, and it turned out to be incredibly fun. We got real flower leis and our own skirts to keep. Alice teased me that with my long hair and curvy hips that I was made to hula.

We went to lunch at the infamous deli, and Alice elbowed me when the guy behind the counter greeted us all with a bit too much enthusiasm - and smiled directly at Esme. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

After lunch Esme treated us to manicures and pedicures in the hotel's spa.

The day had been a treat. It had been great spending the day with Esme and Alice. I wondered about the future. There was a very big part of me that hoped that there would be many more family vacations ahead. I was sappy enough to even imagine Edward and I with children of our own heading out on vacation with Carlisle and Esme and Alice and Jasper. It just seemed like that was the way it was meant to be.

I retreated to my room. I wanted to take advantage of that incredible shower while I had it. I also wanted to be fresh and ready for when Edward got back. I planned on stealing him away for a little while tonight. I wanted him all to myself.

I did get to have Edward to myself but it turned out differently than I had been planning. Edward and Carlisle returned about an hour after I got out of the shower. I had put on a pretty sundress and was all ready to steal my man away. But then they walked through the door, and you have never seen two more weary fishermen.

They had had a wonderful time, but apparently the trip was rather physically demanding. That, combined

with being out in the sun for hours had sapped all of their energy. Edward looked wind blown and sun-burned and tired. He kissed me quickly and I followed him to our room. He jumped right in to the shower.

Esme and I met in the living room. She looked like she had gotten ready for a nice evening as well. I already knew our plans had changed.

"Is Edward as exhausted as Carlisle?"

"I think so. He went right for the shower and mumbled something about being hungry and tired."

She laughed. "Carlisle said something similar. I already ordered them some food, it should be up in a few minutes. It looks like we're staying in tonight."

When the food came I brought a tray in to our bedroom. Edward was just getting out of the bathroom. He flopped on the bed in his boxers and let out a deep sigh. He looked at me then, and seemed to really see me for the first time since he was back.

"Hey, you look so beautiful. Did you have something special planned, I can get dressed quick."

I appreciated his effort - but it wasn't necessary.

"Nope. I had no idea you would be so exhausted. I thought fishing was supposed to be relaxing."

He chuckled at my confusion. "This wasn't regular fishing Bella. Sure it's relaxing if you are on a quiet lake and the biggest thing you might catch is probably less than twenty pounds. This was fishing in the ocean, for fish the size of me. It's a little different." He sighed again as he dug his heals into the soft bed. The tops of his ears were red from the sun, and he was getting the cutest smattering of freckles on his face from being outside so much.

"I have food! Why don't you toss some pillows behind your back and get comfy." He propped himself up and I handed him the tray. Esme had ordered him a cheeseburger and fries. The burger was huge, I think it took up half of the plate. There was also some sort of chocolate cake for dessert and I had grabbed some water and soda from the fridge.

Edward grabbed the water and took a long drink. He went right at the food, and I had to laugh because the noises he was making while enjoying his burger were pretty darn similar to the noises he makes when he is enjoying something else. I walked over and opened the door - hoping this would tip Esme off to the fact that Edward was devouring his food and not me.

"This is so good. I was starving. We were going to stop and get dinner - but we both just wanted to get back. I am sorry about being tired. If you want to go do something we can."

"I just want to be with you. It's fine with me if we stay here. You're allowed to be tired."

He finished his food in record time. I couldn't imagine finishing that huge burger but he had wolfed it down. I took the plate and grabbed another bottle of water for him.

"I am so sore." He stretched across the bed, his feet dangling off of the edge. He looked so tempting, sprawled out like that. I was wishing he wasn't so tired.

I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my after-sun lotion.

"Roll on to your stomach." I instructed. He did as I asked.

I squirted some of the lotion into my hands and started down at his feet. I rubbed them tenderly, tickling between his toes and massaging his heals and ankles. He let out a deep moan - and I hoped again that Esme didn't misinterpret the sounds he was making.

"That feels so good. You really are so good to me." He shifted into a more comfortable position and I kept working my magic on his tootsies. I had never realized how big Edward's feet were. I wondered about the old adage comparing a man's feet to the size of his manhood. I smiled to myself - in this case - it was certainly true. I had to shake thoughts about Edward's wonderfully large manhood out of my brain - I was determined to behave and it wasn't going to happen if I was thinking that way. When I was satisfied that his feet were feeling good I moved further up onto the bed.

He turned on his side, facing me. He pulled me closer and I stretched out next to him, letting him draw me into those drugging kisses that I craved. My hair was down, cascading all around us. Edward broke the kiss and leaned up on his elbow. His eyes were drowsy, contented.

"I wish you knew what I think when I look at you. I still can't believe someone so beautiful and smart and kind wants to spend time with me. You take care of me, you love me - sometimes it seems like too much. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

I was feeling overwhelmed by his words. I decided to tease him - instead of saying the equally saccharine words that were at the tip of my tongue.

"What makes you think you did anything to deserve me? Did you ever think I'm just using you for your body?"

He rolled his eyes and met me with a joking tone of his own. "You aren't the first to want me for my body, Bella Swan. It's a hard life, being such a specimen of male perfection."

I laughed as I leaned in and kissed his warm lips sweetly. They still tasted like the chocolate cake.

"I love you." I said quietly.

He yawned as I pulled away.

"Alright Mr. Perfect Specimen. Roll onto your stomach - I'm not finished with you."

He rolled over and I squirted more lotion in my hands. I began long slow strokes up and down his smooth back. I loved the feel of his soft warm skin under my hands. He pulled a pillow down and settled his head and arms on it. His hair fell lightly over his forehead, he closed his eyes and his face held an angelic quality. He smiled slightly and I kissed him on the cheek.

"It's okay if you fall asleep. Sweet dreams love."

I continued stroking his back. Allowing my hands to absorb his warmth. I wasn't surprised when his breathing began to even out. Soon he was sound asleep.

I got up and turned the little light next to the bed on. I slipped into my pajamas and closed our door. I settled myself on the bed to read, my back up against the pillows and headboard. Edward stirred, moving his head into my lap and wrapping his arm around my waist. I nuzzled into his hair, I could smell him forever.

"Night Bell, love you." He mumbled as he settled his cheek on my thigh.

(_Alice)_

I had to get out. I know my mom and dad weren't crazy about the idea of me walking the beach by myself at night but I had to walk. I needed motion. The beach was the right choice. I loved the feel of the moist sand between my toes. The night had made the sand cool, and it was soothing.

I was thinking about Jasper. The way it felt to hold his hand in mine, his heartbreakingly beautiful smile. I would give anything to taste his mouth, to hear him whisper in my ear in his deep gentle voice.

I couldn't believe the mistake I had made. It was strange that there was a part of me that had been so sure I would always be with him. I sometimes could just tell things that were going to happen - Edward used to tease me that I thought I was psychic. I never thought anything like that, but I did seem to have a pretty good idea of how things would work themselves out. I still couldn't see how this was the thing I would mess up.

And then I told him that I needed time, that he needed to make some decisions about our future before we could have one. Watching him walk away was so hard. Not talking to him for the past few days was worse. I never wanted to hurt him, and it's the one thing I did.

I kept walking. The moon was shining and it was getting dark enough that it was beginning to shimmer over the water.

I wished I could go home now. I would go to him and wrap my arms around him and never ever let him go. I would make the right decisions, I would be sure that I never made these terrible mistakes again.

I walked to the edge of the water. As the waves slipped up over my toes I shivered. I thought about that day in our pool, when Jasper had come close to me and took my hand. It was that moment that had made it all clear. He didn't even say anything, just wrapped his hand around mine and didn't let it go. He had done the same thing with my heart.

I swiped some tears that began slipping down my cheeks. I wasn't going to cry anymore. I was going to make this right - and tears weren't going to help.

I walked on. The sound of the sea enveloping me.

(_Jasper)_

As soon as Alice had called me, it was like the sun had broken free from the clouds - and it had been shining since. Just the delicate beauty of her voice had been like medicine to all the sickening pain that had taken over my life. I made arrangements to fly out to meet her as soon as I had hung up the phone. I didn't want to stop talking to her, but I needed to be where she was.

I had arrived in Hawaii in the early evening. By the time I had rented a car and found the hotel, hours had passed. I was starting to give in to desperation. I knew I was close to where she was, and I needed to be with her. I found the hotel room and I think I nearly gave Esme a heart-attack when she opened the door and saw me standing in the hallway.

She told me Alice had gone to take a walk on the beach. I didn't like the idea of her being down there alone. I ran back to the elevator and out to the sand.

A thousand thoughts were flying through my mind. I had so many things to tell Alice. I had started seeing a counselor, and he was helping me to deal with my mother. He advised that cutting her out of my life completely wouldn't help anyone, and instead I needed to work on setting boundaries in my life that she wasn't able to cross. I wanted to sit with Alice and discuss this - to proceed in a way that was best for us, together. I wanted her to know how sorry I was. I wanted to tell her how important she was to me - my life and light. I wanted to tell her about the ring that was in my pocket - the beautiful ring that I wanted on her finger - for the rest of our lives. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her - again and again and again.

And then I saw her. Her small, delicate body was gently illuminated by the moonlight. I stopped breathing. She stopped walking and faced the water.

I was overcome. All my previous thoughts flew from my mind. I wanted her. I wanted to run up to her and scoop her up in my arms and kiss her until she was gasping for breath. I wanted to lay her on the sand - I wanted to be inside of her - all over her. I wanted to love her with every fiber of my being. I stood and watched her - fighting to control the baser needs her presence was calling forth.

I walked closer to her, the sound of the ocean masking my approach. When I was near her I hesitated, not sure what words I could use that could possibly convey my emotions.

I could feel her love for me, as surely as if it were a living thing swirling in the air around us - I could feel it. I reached for her hand and wrapped it in mine. She didn't even look up. She simply closed her eyes for a moment, and then the corner of her mouth turned up slightly.

We stood in silence, watching the moon dance over the water. I knew in that moment that forever would be ours. I was never letting go of her again.

_**To all of you. Thanks for reading. This is not the end - there is a bit more to go. **_


	33. Yes!

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer is the creator of all things Twilight.**

**AN - ****My little story was nominated for an award on Twilight Awards(Best Kiss - Incomplete Stories) - I would love you all so very much if you would take a second to go over and vote for me!! (The link is on my profile - and the code is - Bella beats my brother bowling - you have to enter that in the code section or the vote doesn't count.) There are tons of cool stories nominated - please go check it out - and to whoever nominated my story - you ROCK! Voting ends soon so please go vote as soon as you are done reading this - okay?! **

**In return - I give you some Jasper and Alice lemonade. Yum yum! ****For StarrYNight and my own personal Alice - I am finally getting out a little of my Jasper obsession****!**

_Chapter 33 - Yes!_

_(__Alice)_

Jasper and I had spent the last hour talking as we sat in the sand. The days heat had leeched out of the sand and it was cool and soothing as I dug my toes into it. We had talked about a lot of things. Jasper explained why he had moved out of his mom's and I was surprised to find out that he had begun to see a counselor to try to figure out some of the issues in his life that had resulted in the controlling relationship he had with her. He listened while I explained the way it had made me feel when he never defended me when his mother went on one of her attacks. It was a long hour and even though I felt like I had healed in some places, others felt like they were freshly wounded - lots of little cuts that stung, but didn't sink deep enough to bleed.

"Are you ready to head back?"

I closed my eyes and absorbed the sound of his low quiet voice. It seemed impossible that we had been apart for mere days, it had felt like an eternity.

I stood up and brushed the sand off of my backside. My legs were a bit cramped from sitting for so long. I looked at Jasper's face as he watched my every move, his golden hair glinting in the moonlight. It seemed funny to me that I was finally noticing what he was wearing. That was usually the first thing I noticed, Jasper's incredible sense of style was one of the many things I loved about him. He was wearing khaki shorts with a short sleeved linen button up shirt, that was white. His shirt was unbuttoned in the warm night air - and all the glorious contours of his muscles were clear - even in the inky blackness. I smiled - thinking of all the conversations we had had about why he should be a model. He certainly had the looks, and the fact that he actually really knew how to throw an outfit together was another check in the plus column - but he was adamant about never going that route. He always told me that as long as I thought he was gorgeous - he wasn't at all interested in finding out anyone else's opinion.

It was funny because I could be pretty persuasive - but he had no desire to get caught up in a path that he often felt had led to all the problems between his parents. In fact - I had had more luck with Edward, he at least let me send his picture in for that underwear model contest. I chuckled quietly, wondering if Bella knew about that and I reminded myself to ask her later.

Jasper was tentative as we started our walk back. We were walking hand in hand and I wondered if we were back together. Was it something we had to officially say? We hadn't kissed yet, and my lips tingled at the thought of it. It felt right. I never ever wanted to be apart from him again.

I suddenly felt nervous. It was strange, because in many ways Jasper and I were so used to each other that everything between us just flowed. Now there was an element of newness, something subtle had changed in our relationship and I had millions of butterflies dancing in my belly because of it.

We walked back to the hotel in silence, but it seemed that with each footstep we took - volumes of wordless conversation passed between us. Every step was bringing us closer to forever. I realized that with Jasper at my side I was suddenly seeing the beauty around me for the first time since we had arrived. It was as if my life were on pause - but now I could hear the echo of the surf and smell the perfume of the air. Jasper looked at me and as our eyes locked I smiled. It was the first pure genuine smile I had smiled in days, and it felt like it was causing a light to radiate through me. Jasper smiled back, looking curiously like the light was penetrating him as well.

When we got into the elevator I noticed that Jasper pressed the wrong floor number.

"Jazz, our room isn't on that floor."

He looked at me and raised a pale brow. Wordlessly, he pulled a key card from his pocket.

"Yes, _our _room is."

I pulled in a breath and was amazed that I actually had to look away from him. There was a sudden heat in the elevator. The butterflies became frantic.

When we reached the correct floor Jasper led me to the room.

My jaw dropped as we entered. It wasn't a suite of rooms like my family had been staying in. It was simply a sitting area that was richly appointed, and a door that led into a sleeping area. Jasper's things were already settled in the bedroom. Even the air in here smelled like luxury. I peeked around and finally headed for the doors leading out to the balcony. They were French doors with thick drapes to the sides and when I stepped through them I was blown away by the beautiful sight. The ocean seemed to stretch out infinitely and the play of the moon over the water was even more dramatic from up here. I closed my eyes and took a breath. It seemed as if magic was crackling in the air around me.

I left the doors open as I re-entered the bedroom. Jasper was standing across the room and I could see the desire burning in his eyes. I wondered if it all felt different to him as well.

"Alice.." He started talking quietly, but trailed off.

I took a step closer.

"I love you Jasper."

His head snapped up and then he was coming at me, full speed. He wrapped his arms around me and my feet came off of the ground. His head was buried in my shoulder and his words ran out so fast, so desperately.

"Alice, I need you. Please forgive me. I can not live without you. Please. I feel like I haven't even breathed since you told me it was over - and when you called yesterday - there was suddenly hope. I will change - and I know you might never be able to forgive me for hurting you in the past - but I promise you I will never ever hurt you again." His voice was laced with hysteria. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest as I realized what I had done to him.

I pushed him back slightly.

He squeezed me tighter, not wanting to let me go. I ran my hand over his hair, soothing him. "Honey, baby - listen to me Jazz - there is nothing to forgive. I made mistakes too. Lots of them. I love you." He continued to hold me - too tightly. "Did you hear me Jasper? I love you!"

He set me back on my feet and kept his eyes on the ground. I wondered for a moment if he was crying.

I was about to step closer when he suddenly reached for me again. His eyes were slightly glassy, but he was smiling before his lips crashed into mine.

I have heard about being lost in a kiss - but with this kiss I was found. As Jasper's lips moved against mine, I was found, I was home, I was whole. He kissed me hard, his lips hot - tongue demanding entry. I parted my lips to him and welcomed the warm slick penetration of his soft tongue in my mouth. He pulled my bottom lip in, sucking it gently, grazing his teeth over before releasing it.

I tried to rememorize the taste of him, the smell of him. I shuddered as his perfect nose nestled against the soft skin of my cheek and his hand cupped the side of my face. I ran my hands up, stopping at his biceps, which flexed as he strained against me. My fingers danced over the hard muscle there, and I dug my nails in - urging him closer.

He was edging me backward and I knew the backs of my legs were soon going to bump into the edge of the bed. I was hungry for him, and the changes between us ignited my desire in a new way. I wanted to be taken by him, possessed by him. I wanted to mark him as mine in return. I loved him, and there was no going back.

I felt the edge of the bed behind me and stopped moving. We broke apart and were both panting and out of breath. I looked at Jasper's face and his eyes were heavy, the lids low over his gleaming hazel eyes framed by his thick pale lashes. His lips were swollen from our kisses, that graceful "M" of his top lip calling to me, begging to be licked.

He grabbed my wrists and held my arms down at my sides as he began sucking and licking the column of my neck. He increased the tightness of his grasp and began sucking the skin at my collar bone hard. That was going to leave a mark. The tension in my body began building, my body coiling in on itself as if it were a spring that he was winding. He slipped the straps of my top down and revealed the black satin bra that I was wearing. It was new and it was by far the sexiest underwear I had brought with us on our trip. I was also wearing the matching black thong that went with it, when I was dressing it just seemed like it was the right thing to put on, and I was very glad I did.

Jasper's eyes settled on my chest, enjoying the ample cleavage that the bra was pushing my less than ample breasts into. A slow smile spread across his face. He would know it was new - he generally kept a pretty careful inventory of my under things.

"This is new. I like this one - a lot. You are so tan, Alice - and the black against your skin looks incredible."

He slid his tongue down between my breasts. He still had my wrists pinned at my sides and I was starting to squirm - I wanted to touch him, to run my hands all over his perfect body. He knew how over-excited I could get - he was trying to control the pace.

He released my hands long enough to slide the straps of my shirt off of my arms. He then slid my shirt and skirt down off of my hips, and I was standing in nothing but the thong. The low moan he let out was like a caress against my skin. His control was slipping, and I was glad.

Jasper was usually a gentleman, and often when we made love it was more like he was worshiping me than anything else. He was careful in the extreme, gentle and loving. But there were the occasions when he let that control slip away, and he took me in a frenzy that made my head spin. I knew that was where we were heading, and I was more than ready for the ride.

He twisted his hand into the thin slip of fabric running across my hip and tugged. The fabric gave way and he yanked the remains of the thong off of me. I pushed my thighs together, the friction causing an electric current to run through me. I twisted my hands, hoping to get free from his grasp. He laughed at my effort.

"You think you can get away from me? I'm not letting you go Alice. Never again."

He gathered my wrists in one hand and lifted me with his other arm. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he attacked my lips again. He was still completely dressed, but I was helpless to change that.

He set me down on the bed and stretched my arms up over my head. He released my wrists and I kept them where he placed them. He nudged my thighs open and settled himself over me. He pushed his hips into mine and I could feel the massiveness of him, hard and ready to bring me bliss. He began rocking against me, and I knew I was leaving a stain of my wetness on his shorts. He brought his mouth to my breasts and my back arched of its own accord - the pleasure pooling where he rocked against me.

"I thought I might never get to have you again. I love you." He breathed the words against my neck as he kissed his way up to my ear. His hair was getting pasted to his forehead with sweat. There was a thin sheen of sweat across his chest and stomach, and I wanted to roll him over and lick it all off, to savor the taste of his skin on my tongue.

He leaned off of me and rolled me over. He placed my hands on the headboard and told me to hold on.

He propped me up higher and forced my legs apart so that they were spread wide as I kneeled on the bed with my hands holding tight. He got on his back and angled me the way he wanted. He put his hands on my ass cheeks, spreading them apart and revealing me to him. I was already ready to come. I knew how incredibly talented Jasper was with his mouth - and the mere thought of it was bringing me close to the edge. What if we had really broken up for good? I would never have Jasper's gorgeous face nestled between my thighs again, and that alone would be a sin, not to mention never again being filled by his freakishly large manhood. What on earth had I been thinking when I broke up with him? Clearly I had been suffering from some sort of temporary insanity. All that mattered now, in this moment - was that he was here, and that he loved me - and that in mere seconds his tongue would be dancing across my tenderest flesh.

I was surprised by the lick of pain that spread through my thigh, followed by another. Jasper was biting a trail up my leg. Each bite was followed by a caressing flick of his tongue - pain mixed with pleasure. My legs began to quiver - I was worried they would give out.

"Hold yourself up Alice, I'm not finished with you."

I gripped the headboard tighter and he pulled me down closer. He slid his tongue up me, stopping at the top and running his tongue over my pleasure center in an insistent lapping. He licked and sucked at me, his skill and technique had my hips bucking in time to his strokes. He pulled me down closer and I cried out as he fucked me with his mouth. The spring released and the pleasure uncoiled. I rode out the wave of ecstasy as he licked me clean.

My eyes were closed and Jasper helped me pry my hands from the headboard where I had clenched them with all my might. I turned to look at him while I flexed my hands, coaxing the blood to run through them once again.

In the faint light I could see the glistening trail that ran down his chin. I leaned over to him and ran my tongue over it. I kissed his mouth and tasted the tang of my body on his tongue. I ran my hand down over him, he was so hard. He pushed back against my hand, that thing clearly wanted out.

"You taste so good. I love it when you are so wet. I can't wait to sink myself into you. You are so damn fuckable Alice, and I am going to - all night. I am not going to stop until I see the sun coming up. I am going to fill you up with so much of my cum that you'll be swimming in it."

I yanked his shirt off of his shoulders, taking advantage of his hands being tangled in the material behind his back to feather kisses across his chest. His skin was sweaty and salty. Once his shirt was off he tossed it across the room. He turned his body slightly to grant me better access to his shorts. I caught sight of the tattoo on his right shoulder as he turned and my body ran hot once again - and he called me fuckable? I shook my head, he had no idea how utterly delicious his tall blonde body was - not in the slightest.

I popped the button of his shorts open and carefully slid the zipper down. Jasper usually went commando, and I had learned to be careful when I removed his pants. As soon as the zipper was lowered, his erection jutted forward in all its glory. I immediately placed my small hand on it, unable to completely wrap around it. It was burning hot to the touch, and I wanted it in me. Jasper helped me slide his shorts off. I slid my hand over the velvet skin of his shaft, gently at first - and then harder - I knew just what he liked - a tight grip from my hand and my mouth sucking hard. He rose onto his knees and tangled his hands in my short hair, pushing me down farther - urging me to take more of him into my mouth. He was so big that it was hard to get enough of him, I concentrated on relaxing my throat to give him the access he desired. Sweet, sticky goodness began gathering at his swollen tip. I eased him out of my mouth and licked it all off carefully, drawing more out of him with the strokes of my hand. I knew there were people like Bella who couldn't swallow, who couldn't stomach the thought of what was going into their mouth. I got off on the knowledge that I was consuming a part of him, and the taste of him running down my throat made me want him even more.

He pulled away, and I knew he needed to be in me. We couldn't keep up all this torture - our reunion would not be complete until we were joined together. I grabbed his shorts and flung them across the room - clearing the bed off for us.

As the shorts went flying to the corner, I heard something bang against the glass of the balcony door loudly - followed by a softer, metallic - clinking crash. Jasper sat up immediately, a look of disbelief on his face.

He sprang from the bed and examined the door.

"What was that? Is the glass cracked?" I asked.

"No it isn't broken. There was something in my pocket and it flew out when you threw my shorts." He had picked up a small dark object and closed it inside of his hand.

He was looking around at the floor - seemingly looking for the source of the metallic clinking sound that had followed the crash against the glass. I wondered if whatever had been in his pocket had broken.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know there was anything in your pocket. Did it break?"

He shook his head as he continued looking. He was muttering under his breath - something about "figures this would happen" and "I had it all planned out." I had no idea what he was talking about. I got up from the bed to help him look.

I had taken about three steps when two things happened at once - Jasper looked up and saw me off the bed, yelling at me to get back where I was; and I stepped down onto something small, cold and pointy and let out a yelp of pain - "Oww!"

Jasper was next to me in an instant. He scooped me up and placed me on the bed, and then retrieved the object while I rubbed the bottom of my foot.

"What did I step on?" I asked aloud. Jasper stood next to the bed, looking at his hand - obviously deep in thought. We were both still completely naked - but the sexy mood was broken - and I noticed that Jasper's erection had begun to soften. I wondered what had been in his pocket - and was a bit pissed that it had been such a mood breaker. We were just getting to the really good part!

"Well?" Patience was not my strong suit.

"I hadn't meant for it to happen like this. I had it all planned out -and I knew exactly what I was going to say. I guess I should know what I was going to say - I think I have been planning it since the first time I held your hand. I hadn't expected you to find out because you stepped on it in a dark room." He sighed and held his hands out. He opened the right one first. Resting on his right palm was a small jewelers box.

My heart stopped momentarily. I wondered for a moment if I was ready to see what was in his left hand. Was I ready to be his wife - was that where all of this was leading? I closed my eyes and took a moment to think. I had always been so sure that I would end up with Jasper - and I wasn't usually wrong. I loved him - and being without him for a mere couple of days had been worse than hell. My head and my heart were both screaming "yes!" . I opened my eyes and met his. He opened his left hand and on that palm was the most beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen.

I didn't even wait for him to ask. Instead, in classic Alice fashion - I threw myself off the bed and he caught me in mid-air. I said the word yes over and over again as I kissed his face. I looked up and saw that there were tears in his eyes.

"What is it? Are you unhappy?"

He shook his head, I don't think he trusted himself to talk. He buried his face in my shoulder and took a shaky breath - "I thought I had lost you." He didn't say more. I let him hold me close, giving him a moment.

He set me down on the bed. He got down on one knee at my feet. I was smiling so widely that my face actually hurt.

"I actually did have a romantic plan for asking you, Alice. I wasn't expecting it to go like this - but here is what I intended to say to you - Alice, you are the most beautiful person I have ever known. Your kindness shines like the sun, and everyone it touches is warmed, just by knowing you. No one understands me the way that you do - and no one else has ever loved me so completely, in spite of all my flaws. I know you always thought that I fell for you after I had known you for a while - and I know we will both never forget that day in the pool when I finally got up the courage to approach you - but the real truth is this - I fell in love with you the first time I met you when you were twelve and I was thirteen and I was at your house for Edward's birthday party. I came down the stairs and saw you for the first time - you had just dropped your ice-cream cone and you were mad because Edward was laughing. I swear I thought you were an angel and I almost dropped my ice-cream because I was so shocked by the feeling that ran through me. I gave you my ice-cream - and you smiled at me. What you never knew was that I didn't just give you my ice-cream - I gave you my heart too. Right then and there. It is crazy and stupid I know - I mean who falls in love with someone when they are thirteen - but it's true - and you have owned my heart ever since. I am nothing without you Alice, and it would be the biggest honor of my life if you would keep my heart forever. Please marry me - will you be my wife? I know you already said yes - but I would love to hear it again."

"Yes, Jasper. I want to marry you, yes."

He slid the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly. I was holding my hand out, admiring the sight, when Jasper pulled me up into his arms again. This time there were only a few happy tears from me - Jasper was spinning me around like a rag doll, his face positively beaming with joy. After we were both dizzy from all of the spinning - he set me down. I stumbled over to the bed and I laughed. I laughed because it seemed impossible that I would really be marrying Jasper, I laughed because he was so happy that it was contagious and I laughed most of all because I had just been proposed to by a naked man, while I was equally naked. In my strangest dreams I never would have imagined this moment happening this way.

I twisted my hand as I looked at the ring on my finger, thrilling in the way the diamond caught the little bit of light in the room and sparkled. Jasper climbed on the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms. The rough edges and urgency from earlier had been replaced by tenderness. We kissed lazily, not rushing like before. Soon his body was churning over mine, Jasper's eyes locked with my own. The feeling of his body joined with mine was pure heaven. We loved each other for hours, each tender caress - each kiss - each moment of passion further cementing our commitment to each other.

When we were both sated and sweaty, Jasper sprawled across the bed - his arms out to his sides - his feet dangling off the edge. I tucked myself into his side, my body small in comparison to his. I rested my head on his chest and he slid his arm around me - his large hand spanning my stomach. We were still and quiet. My head was gently rising and falling to the rhythm of his breathing and I could hear the beating of his heart. I slid my hand down and began tracing patterns low on his belly, my fingertips dancing through the fine hair that trailed down further.

"I wish I could stop time and stay right here with you forever."

I knew how he was feeling, I was wishing the same thing.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

He wrapped his arm a little tighter - as if trying to be sure I was really here in his arms.

"Are you sure about marrying me? Are you sure you don't want time to think about it? I want you forever -but I don't want you to ever feel like I came out here and overwhelmed you. I want to be sure you said yes because it's what you really want."

I leaned up on my elbow. I looked into Jasper's face and was amazed once again by how breathtakingly handsome he was.

"I am sure. I can't imagine a future that doesn't include the two of us together. The past few days were like torture, not seeing your smile or hearing your voice or kissing your lips. I want to marry you - I want to be your wife. I would say the same thing next week, or in a year or in ten years. You are what I want Jasper - you are what I need. Yes."

I kissed him on the tip of his nose and he laughed.

I stretched out like a cat, yawning when I was through.

"No yawning Alice. You deprived me of your body for days. I wasn't joking before - I plan on making up for lost time tonight."

He leaned in to me and I could feel him getting hard again.

"Let me call my parents quick - so they don't wonder where I am."

He groaned loudly. He tried to grab me and pull me back down - but I was too quick and hopped off of the bed.

"Alice, call them later. I want you now." I made the mistake of looking back at him as he said this. Bad move. He had his hand wrapped around himself and was giving me an incredibly seductive stare as he began pleasuring himself. I forgot why I had gotten up.

Calling my parents. That was what I had needed to do. I turned around again so that I wouldn't be distracted by the sex god on the bed.

I sat on the couch in the sitting area. I heard Jasper get off the bed but knew better than to turn and look. I called my mom, hoping to get the conversation over with quickly so I could get back to my man.

"Alice - is everything ok?" My mom sounded worried.

"I'm fine mom. I'm staying with Jasper. I just wanted you to know so you didn't worry."

Jasper appeared before me with a water bottle in his hand. It was half empty and he was still naked and very erect. I swallowed loudly - I'm sure my mom heard it on the other end.

He kneeled down in front of me and pushed my thighs apart. His free hand was again gliding up and down his length.

"What do you mean you're staying with Jasper? Where are you?"

I was about to answer when the icy water bottle was suddenly gliding up between my legs, the little ridges on the bottle causing an erotic tingle of pleasure as they skimmed over me. Jasper was wearing a wicked grin.

"Uhm, we are in the hotel mom. Jasper has his own room." My voice gave out at the end - and I had to fight back a moan. Jasper pulled the bottle away and blew his warm breath over the area where the cold had been. I shifted on the edge of the couch - opening my legs wider for him. I was vaguely aware that my mom was talking again.

"He has his own room? That's just silly Alice - we have more than enough room in our suite."

Jasper kept his eyes on me as he unscrewed the cap of the bottle and drank a sip. He then poured a thin stream of the icy liquid between my legs where it ran down my slit. This time I did moan out loud.

I tried to cover it up by clearing my throat. This conversation with my mom needed to end, now.

"Listen mom, Jasper and I are engaged. He has his own room and we are staying here tonight."

This news sent her into shock. She was saying something to me, but I had no idea what it was. Jasper had poured some of the water over my breasts, and they peaked and tightened in response. The water ran down them, onto my belly. Jasper leaned in and began sucking up the little pool of water that had collected in my belly button.

I didn't even hear what my mom said. Right now - it didn't matter.

"I'll see you in the morning mom. I love you, bye."

I closed my phone and Jasper scooped me up and brought me back to bed.

_**Hope you enjoyed. Review if you would like (I would like it**__**)! Thanks for reading. (and please vote!)**_

_**Next chapter will be Edward POV - **_


	34. Ready or Not

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight series and related characters.**_

_**AN: I am so pleased that I was able to make some of you see the power of the blonde-side (aka: the goodness of Jasper). Thanks for your thoughts. I believe there is one day left to vote on the Twilight Awards (Sat. the 26**__**th**__**) so don't forget to vote - the link is on my profile. Also - there is a link to what I would have as Jasper's tattoo, for those of you that asked.**_

Chapter 34

(_Edward)_

It was warm and stuffy in the little "groom's room" at the church. Jasper and I were squished in the little room that I had a sneaking suspicion was usually used as a closet. I was worried that we were going to start getting all sweaty. Jasper was completely calm. He looked like he could just be waiting for Alice to get ready to go out on a date - cool, calm and collected.

We were wearing tuxes today - no suits like we wore for prom. Thankfully Alice and Jasper both had incredible taste, and the tuxedos they chose were nice. I hadn't seen Bella yet today, and I couldn't wait to. I hoped she would like the way I looked. It seemed like a foolish thing to hope for, but that was what she did to me. I also couldn't wait to see her, I knew she was going to look beautiful.

Alice and Jasper had gotten engaged while we were in Hawaii. It seemed a little surprising to me - one minute they were broken up and the next they were getting married. I was even more surprised that my parents were so good about the whole thing. I had mentioned something to dad about it and he simply said that they expected us to make good decisions and that we were old enough to do so - they felt it was important to be supportive. I guess I saw his point - if I felt like Bella and I were ready to get married, I wouldn't want my parents to question the decision.

What surprised all of us, even Jasper and my parents, was that Alice wanted to be married before we all headed back to college. That was a time-span of about 5 weeks. We all assumed Alice would intend to have an incredibly elaborate wedding with a million details that would take years to plan out properly. I wondered if maybe there was a little baby on the way, and that was why she had snapped and broken up with Jasper, and then she wanted to get married right away to make it less obvious. She kicked me, hard, when I implied as much to her. She told us that it was still possible to plan something nice in a small period of time, and that she knew what she wanted for her future and she had no intention of waiting around for it to happen.

And so the ladies went into a frenzy of wedding planning. The only things Alice insisted on were that she have enough time to make her dress, and that they have enough time to take a proper honeymoon before classes began.

That brought us back to being in a cramped little room in a hot church on an August day. My mom and Alice had planned a small elegant wedding. I was standing up for Jasper and Bella was standing up for Alice. James and Victoria were also in the wedding. In total, there were less than 60 guests coming. My sister was marrying my best friend in the church we had attended since we were children, and then we were going back to our house for the reception.

Jasper stood and stretched. I was going to need to start playing the piano in a few minutes. I felt like I should give Jasper a hug or a pep talk or something. I knew he wasn't nervous - but it seemed customary.

I settled for shaking his hand.

"Are you ready for this, brother?"

Jasper smiled. Like Bella - he had no siblings, and I knew he was happy to officially become me brother - even if it was "in-law".

"Yes. I'm glad Alice didn't want to wait. Are you going to be asking Bella any time soon."

I laughed.

"I'm not saying I haven't thought about it, especially since you took the plunge - but I have way too much school ahead of me to really consider it right now. It wouldn't be fair to ask her and then expect her to wait all that time."

"Who says you would need to wait?"

I didn't have a good argument for that.

"You and Alice were together a lot longer than Bella and I have been. In my head I see us married one day, just not right now. I think she feels the same way."

Jasper nodded. "She's incredible, though. Don't let her slip away one day."

I looked at him for a minute, unsure what to say to that. Losing Bella would be the end of my life. Jasper's words echoed in my head 'who says you need to wait'. I decided to talk to Bella about some things later. We had had a really limited amount of time together the last several days because of the wedding. Tonight, I was going to spend some time reconnecting with her.

"When do you leave for the honeymoon?"

"Tomorrow morning. Are you and Bella going to move your stuff into the apartment while we're gone?"

"Next week. I had to rent a truck so we could go get a bed and some other bigger things we'll need. Everything should be settled by the time you get back. Did you tell Alice where you're going yet?"

"No, and it is making her crazy. I told her I would tell her tonight. I had to give her some hints already because she had to know what type of clothes to pack."

Jasper was taking Alice to Greece and Italy for ten days. Jasper was interested in the history and Alice would be giddy about the shopping. The fact that it was incredibly beautiful and romantic were icing on the cake. Something most people didn't know was that Jasper had a lot of money. His father was a gifted businessman and he had accumulated a rather large fortune over the years. When Jasper's parent's split, his dad had created an extremely large trust fund for him. It wasn't something that was obvious. Jasper dressed well, but he drove an ordinary car and rented modest apartments. He tended to only spend a lot on Alice. The ring he had bought her was incredible, and the room he had rented in Hawaii was way pricier than the suite our family was staying in. The honeymoon he had planned was another example. He had shown me the itinerary and details - luxury and first-class all the way. I was glad he was marrying Alice. He really was a good man, and he would take care of her. More than that - I knew he loved her.

I thought about the coming year. It was exciting to think that we would all be together. The apartment Jasper and I had rented was two bedrooms. When Alice and Jasper decided to get married before the year started, we all sat and discussed what we should do. Alice wanted us to keep the apartment and all live together. I wasn't sure if Bella's parents would be happy with that plan - and I also didn't know if Jasper wanted roommates when he and Alice were newly married. Somehow it all worked out. Jasper was happy to have us all together. I offered to Bella's parents that I would get my own apartment nearby. They saw through that and knew we would probably be spending most nights together anyway. In the end it was decided that we would all share the place we originally rented. Bella and I were getting a bed and moving our stuff in next week. I hoped we were ready.

A knock on the door brought me back to the present. My dad was at the door. It was time for me to start playing. I was playing all of the music for the ceremony. Alice had let me choose most of it, and I hoped she would be happy with my choices.

Jasper's parents were not attending the wedding. It had made all of us really angry. His mother refused and his father claimed that he couldn't manage to get here on such short notice. My parents rallied around him, making sure that he knew how much they cared about him. I know that their acceptance meant a lot to him.

I was glad when my dad took my place in the little room. I closed the door on them and took my place at the piano. While I was playing, I became lost in my music. I looked up from time to time and watched as more people entered and were seated. Soon Jasper came to stand at the front of the church. I caught his eye and gave him a reassuring nod and smile.

I started the music Alice had chosen for her walk down the aisle. I played it with my heart, hoping Alice and Jasper could hear my love for them in the music. The doors at the back of the church opened and James and Victoria came forward. James was so cute, I didn't even know they made tuxes that small. Victoria was like a little princess in an ice-blue dress that was so frilly and puffy that she could have given Cinderella a serious run for her money. They walked together, Victoria scattering rose petals from the basket she was clutching. They both stared at the floor nervously as they walked.

I almost made a mistake when I saw Bella at the door. She was ethereal in a dark blue gown. Her hair was swept up and her graceful neck was showing. I had a brief pang of worry as I noticed the heels on her feet. She glanced my way and our eyes locked for a moment. She walked the aisle with incredible poise. I had to remind myself that I needed to concentrate on playing. Bella kept peeking my way once she was up at the front of the church. I really, really loved that girl!

Alice walked down the aisle with both of my parents. Alice looked amazing. It was hard to believe my little sister was getting married. The dress that she had created was really amazing. She had been in her room sewing day and night. I wouldn't have been able to tell you what kind of train it had or what material or style the dress was - but it was beautiful. Her usually spiky dark hair was styled in little curls - and she looked like a 1950's pin-up girl. I wished I could see Jasper's face. I'm sure he was blown away. I could hear the "oohs" and "aahs" of the guests over the music.

When Alice was next to Jasper and the song was over, I took my place up front. When Bella caught sight of me as I got up from the piano, I noticed her do a quick once over. I gave her a quick wink and my stomach flip-flopped when I saw the beautiful blush creep over her cheeks.

The wedding was pretty traditional. They said vows they wrote themselves, which were excellent. Jasper's were so eloquent that I wondered if he had pilfered a bit from all that poetry he loves to read, not that it mattered. There were few dry eyes by the time they said "I do". I played another piece at the middle of the ceremony, a piece I composed for the two of them - it had quiet, serious sections that were inspired by Jasper and bright, spirited sections inspired by Alice. Together it made a lovely piece of music.

They exchanged rings and kissed - and I am sure that I never saw either of them look happier. As they got ready to leave the church I went back to the piano to play the closing music. I watched as the newlyweds swept to the back, followed by Victoria and James. Bella took me by surprise when she came to wait next to the piano instead of joining the recession. Once I finished, I stood and took her arm and we joined the others.

"Thanks for waiting for me. You look gorgeous. That color blue looks beautiful on you." I kissed her gently. Bella didn't usually wear a lot of make-up, but today she was wearing more than usual and I was afraid of smudging it.

"You look great too. My mouth was watering when I saw you in that tux." She gave me a sly smile as she said this.

"Oh, really? I'm glad you approve. It took forever to get it on right, with the tie and cuff links and everything. I could probably use a hand getting it off later." I was talking in what Bella called my "sexy voice". She arched a perfect brow and let a small devilish grin spread over her lips.

She hooked a finger from her right hand around one of the suspenders and pulled it out slightly. "Anything you say." she purred the words at me as she let the strap of the suspender snap back. I had to take a moment to regain my composure. She had no idea of the type of things that went through my mind when she acted that way. I wondered for a fraction of a second if the little room I had been waiting in earlier had a lock - but then came to my senses - we were in a church and that was all kinds of wrong. I was glad we were heading back to my house after this. Maybe I could talk Bella into a quickie when we got there. Of course - I had only been partly teasing about the tux, it did take forever to get on and I didn't want to have to take the time to take it all off and put it all back on. That left the option of a little "Slide the dress up/slide the zipper down" action - and there was definite promise in that idea.

I was pulled out of my daydreaming by Bella's voice.

"Edward, come on - are you just going to stand there all day. Let's go." She grabbed my hand and pulled me forward.

I didn't get a chance to properly congratulate Jasper and Alice until we were in the limo heading back to the house. Jasper popped open the champagne and we all had a glass. It was strange that they were married but not legally old enough to drink. We finished the bottle before we got home - but since there were four of us sharing it, it didn't go far.

"So sis, how does it feel to be married?" I asked dryly.

She didn't answer me, instead she leaned in and gave Jasper a very deep, long kiss.

"It's amazing." She finally answered when they broke apart. Jasper looked dazed.

She started kissing him again.

"Gee, you two need to get a room."

Alice was on Jasper's lap now and they were all tangled together. I understood that they just got married, but I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"You don't have to watch." Jasper said when he came up for air.

I turned to Bella who was staring wide-eyed at the two. I took my hand and turned her head so she was facing me. She was blushing. I laughed as she pretended to fan herself.

"Is it hot in here?" She giggled then.

She was still holding her empty champagne glass. She looked down into it and then twirled the stem between her fingers.

"What would happen if I got drunk at the reception Edward? Would you take me up to your room and take advantage of me?"

She looked up from under her long lashes as she said it. Her brown eyes were making me feel overly warm, like I was melting. I couldn't imagine Bella drunk - she is dangerously clumsy sober. Of course a drunk and uninhibited Bella on her back in my bed would certainly not have to worry about falling. I knew tonight wasn't the night to find out what kind of crazy she would be after having a few drinks - but I filed it away in my brain for future reference.

"As interesting as that sounds, I have a feeling you'll let me take advantage of you anyway - and I know I won't feel guilty about it if you're sober."

She leaned in and kissed me with her luscious lips. She smelled so good and her mouth tasted so sweet. When she pulled back her eyes were playful.

"You're probably right. Maybe I should change the plan - I wonder what would happen if I got you drunk and took advantage of you?"

We arrived back at home and I was amazed at how spectacular everything was. Jasper and I had gotten a hotel room yesterday so the girls could have the house to themselves. In that time the wedding coordinators and their team had completely decorated the house and yard. There were little white lights wrapping all the trees up the driveway. Every surface inside the house seemed to be decorated in some way, and there were flowers everywhere - big baskets, little vases, bowls of water with blooms floating on the surface - it was beautiful. The pool area had been converted into a cocktail area and the surface of the water was covered with floating candles. There was a tent to the side that was as lavish as a ballroom. There were tables set and ready for the guests, laden with linen and fine china. There were chandeliers and a stage for the band and a large dance area. Even though this reception was at our house, it was as elegant as anything you could find here in our little town. Even though we had just held Bella and Alice's graduation party here a few weeks ago, it was nothing like this. This was perfect.

We had a few minutes to enjoy ourselves before we were ushered over to the garden so that we could get the pictures finished. We had already taken so many at the church that I felt like my cheek muscles were sore from smiling. Of course, Alice and Jasper seemed to have these beautiful grins that hadn't come off of their faces since they said "I do". I really was happy for them.

And then all the guests arrived and the party began. I was able to introduce Bella to some more of my relatives, all of whom were taken by my beautiful angel. I ate so much I thought I would pop and danced with Bella all night. At one point her feet were killing her from the heels so she kicked them off and rested her feet on mine and I twirled her around the dance floor that way.

I couldn't remember a time where I felt so completely carefree. This truly was a celebration of all the things that were good in life, and with my best friend now my brother - and Bella at my side - I realized fully how very lucky I was to have the life I have.

Bella and I had to make speeches before dinner. I had thought a lot about what I should say - but when the moment arrived I suddenly felt unsure of the best words to use - I decided to just speak from the heart.

"A part of me is amazed to be here at my sister's wedding today. As we grew up, days like this seemed like they would come somewhere along this never ending road stretching before us, but they were far in the distance. But life is like that, time slips by faster than you think, and those days that seemed so far away are suddenly right in front of you. I love you Alice, you are the best sister anyone could have, and I am lucky because you are also one of my best friends. You will always be my partner in crime - and even though today marks a big change in your life - one thing that will never change is that your big brother will always be watching out for you. And Jasper - there is no one else I would want as a brother, and there is no one else better for my sister . You two were made for each other, and I wish you the very best - for the rest of your lives."

I sat after we had all had a sip of our drinks, unsure if I had said the right thing, but hoping that they both knew how much they meant to me. Bella got up to do her speech next. I knew she was anxious about standing in front of everyone to talk. Her cheeks were pink. I held my hand out to her and she grabbed onto it. She took a deep breath and spoke.

"Love has always been a bit of a mystery to me. It can find you when you aren't looking (she peeked my way as she said this and I smiled). It can make you crazy. It can be the best thing in your life and also the thing to bring you the most pain. Love can carry you when you don't have the strength to carry yourself. Love is magic. And sometimes, when there are two people who are so deeply in love, like Alice and Jasper, love becomes a force - as irrefutable as gravity. Love like that is rare and precious. When I see the two of you together I can feel that bond that you have, and it is overwhelming. The love the two of you share is like lightning - it doesn't strike people often - but when it does they are never the same again. Take care of each other - and take care of that special love you are lucky enough to have. There are people who will go their whole lives never knowing what it's like to love like that - so never ever take it for granted. I love you both, thanks for letting me be a part of your lives and your love."

She sat to cheers of approval. I kissed her and she blinked back a few tears. Alice was wiping some tears away as well.

"That was perfect, Bella. I love you."

She relaxed into my side and I was warmed. I smiled, realizing that her words were meant for us just as much as they were for Alice and Jasper. The way I loved her was irrational - it didn't make sense that I would miss her when she was ten feet away - or that every thought seemed to focus around her - or that I wanted to rip the arms off of every guy that even dared to smile at her. I loved her in ways that frightened me. But she was right- love like this doesn't happen often - and I intended to never take it for granted.

Alice and Jasper left as the night was winding down. Jasper had booked a honeymoon suite at a hotel near the airport so they would be ready to leave early tomorrow. I watched my parents faces as they said goodbye - and wondered what they were thinking. They both looked happy and sad, and I knew it must not be easy to let your little girl go, especially when you weren't expecting it to happen so soon. As I had several times today - I thought of Bella and what our future would hold. Would we get married one day - and would we have a daughter that would grow up and leave us much sooner than we were ready for. The stabbing pain that ripped through my chest at the thought told me a whole lot.

I absolutely wanted to marry Bella one day. I wanted to be breathless as I watched her walk down the aisle to me. I wanted to build her a home and smell her on my pillow every night. I wanted to have a family with her, I wanted to watch her belly grow swollen with my child. I wanted a little brown haired, brown eyed daughter that I could tickle and hug - and know that she was created from the very best of Bella and me - that she was created from our love. I wanted it all - I just wasn't sure I wanted it now.

I took Bella's hand and we took a walk around the yard. I had ditched my jacket some time ago, and the tie was long gone as well. Bella was still in bare feet, she had never retrieved her shoes after kicking them off earlier. Her hair was escaping all the pins used to keep it in place, and I can't ever remember thinking she was more beautiful.

"Did you have a good time today?"

"It was nice, I think they are going to be really happy together. And the best looking guy around was my dance partner all night - I'd say it was definitely a nice day."

I decided to tease her a bit. "The best looking guy around? But Jasper was with Alice all day."

She rolled her eyes at my lame attempt at a joke. "Jasper is very cute in his own blonde way - but you Edward Cullen - you are something different altogether."

Now I was blushing, I was glad it was too dark for her to see. "Well, you aren't bad yourself Isabella Swan."

When we had rounded the corner of the house I stopped. We were far enough away from the lights and the stragglers heading to their cars. I sat on the grass and pulled Bella down on my lap. The grass was already getting damp with dew and I didn't want her to sit on it. She tilted her head back and looked up at the stars. I was lost in the arc of her neck and the swell of her breasts at the top of her dress. It felt like years since we had been alone.

"Bella?" I spoke quietly, not wanting to break the quiet that had settled around us.

She made a noise in response, somewhere between a yes and a sigh.

"Can I kiss you?"

She turned to me and looked slightly confused. "Do you really need to ask? It feels like I haven't had you to myself at all lately."

I smiled, glad that she was feeling the same. I leaned down and kissed her tenderly, lingering, not hurrying the moment. As soon as Bella reached up and slid a hand into my hair it felt like my blood was boiling. I kissed her harder, our tongues dancing and entwining. She slid one of her hands down so that it ran over my chest and side. I loved when she touched me, the feel of her hands on my body was completely electric.

I let my shoulders fall back as she slid the suspender straps off of them. I was letting my hand roam up her leg, her skin was smooth and soft to the touch. I felt her shudder as the tips of my fingers skimmed the edge of her panties. I slid my hand between her legs and she parted them, allowing me to cup her with my palm. Her wetness was seeping through the thin fabric and I mentally patted myself on the back - I must be doing something right. I moved my hand back up her hip and let out a throaty laugh when Bella shifted her body, trying to get me to put my hand back where it was. I shook my head and kissed her. I hooked a finger in the top of her panties and began drawing them down off of her legs. I wondered just how far she would let me go, if she would let me take her right here. I wanted to.

As if in answer to my unspoken question she moved back away from me slightly. She kicked her underwear off and they landed in the grass.

"Let's go to your room, okay?"

I stuck my lip out in a pout, hoping to convince her to stay here.

"Nope, pouting isn't going to help." She was up and walking away. "I am going to go grab my shoes, I'll meet you upstairs."

I watched her walk away, knowing she wasn't wearing anything under the bottom half of the dress. I was jealous of the fabric of her dress, the way it clung to the naked curve of her ass. I snatched her panties up off the grass and tucked them in my pants pocket. Then I ran up to my room.

I was way too ready to be with Bella to wait. I took off the remnants of my tux and climbed into my bed. A minute later, Bella came in and closed and locked the door behind her. She noticed my clothes on the chair and tossed her dress and bra over the top of them. She climbed on to the bed next to me and I was ready to devour her.

"I want you to know something." She started pulling the pins out of her hair as she talked. I wasn't all that interested in talking right now. "I love you Edward, more than I ever imagined I would love anyone - but we aren't ready to get married, or engaged. I was worried that we might be getting a little caught up in all of the excitement with Alice and Jasper - but we aren't them. We need to do what's right for us. I just felt like I needed to tell you that."

She had my attention now. I wondered if she knew some of the things I had thought today. "I know. You're right. And I admit that I did think about it a lot today. I also agree that we aren't ready - but can I ask you something?"

Bella nodded.

"Do you think that we will be ready one day? Do you think you'll want to marry me in the future?"

I thought that I was certain of what she would say - but I was still nervous as I waited for her to answer.

"Yes. Yes Edward. I can't even imagine a future that doesn't include you and I together. And I thought about it a lot today too - but I just didn't want us to do something stupid because we were blinded by all the romance today. I hope that one day you will ask me to marry you - and I will say yes."

She slid between the sheets with me then and we were done talking.

I woke in the morning to someone knocking on my door. I was completely tangled in Bella's arms and legs and we were both still completely naked. I climbed out of bed, careful not to wake her. I pulled the blankets up under her chin. I grabbed some boxers and tossed them on before grabbing my door. My dad was outside.

"I need to grab your tuxedo. I'm heading in to town and I want to drop them off."

I grabbed the items off of my chair and gave them to my dad. Jasper had left all of his stuff here yesterday. My dad had his arms full with all the clothes.

"Alice called to say goodbye this morning. Did you know where they were going?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Jasper showed me all the plans a couple of weeks ago. He went all out. Alice is going to love it."

"She was screaming on the phone about all the shopping she was going to do in Italy, I pity that poor country." He laughed as he said it.

"I pity poor Jasper." I joked.

My dad headed down the stairs and I climbed back in next to Bella.

When the sunlight was too bright to ignore, we got up. As we sat at the kitchen table we looked over a sale flyer. The remnants of our breakfast were pushed aside and we were making a list of the things we needed to buy for the apartment. Bella was pointing out sheets and bedding that were on sale. I knew she was right about what she said last night, we weren't ready to get married, but living together with Jasper and Alice was going to be a really big step. I was glad she was excited and looking forward to it.

We got ready to head out and get some shopping done. When we reached my car, dad was pulling back down the driveway. As he passed us on his way inside, he placed something in my hand.

"Apparently, men often leave things in their pockets, so they check them all before you leave the rental place." He shook his head and walked to the house, mumbling something about being "embarrassed" and "my son's girlfriend's underwear". Bella was looking at me with wide eyes. I pressed my lips together, trying to not laugh. I clearly remembered putting Bella's panties in my pocket last night. I opened my hand and the lacey, navy blue panties she had been wearing were inside it.

I gave her a sheepish look. "Sorry, I forgot they were in there."

"You're so lucky I love you so much." She pinched my butt hard as she went around to the passenger side of the car. I kissed her forehead and opened the door for her.

We drove away, ready to start down the road that would lead to our future.

_**So that is the end of this section of the story. There will be four more chapters that detail what happens in their lives about ten years into the future. Please understand that I am a mom - and have had some experience with the fact that life isn't always perfect. The next few chapters will be tempered by the good and the bad, the joy and the pain that make up a life. Even if you don't agree with the direction things take - I hope you will read the story to its finish. I am pleased with the way it all turns out, and I hope you will be as well. **_

_**Also - I hate to be a review grubber - but there are some of you that I haven't heard from in a while and it does mean so much to me when you take a second to drop a review!! **_

_**Thanks, C.**_


	35. Pictures of You Pictures of Me

_**Disclaimer: Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**AN: Hey everyone! So this story tied for second for Best Kiss on Twilight Awards - thanks so much for voting - I am so honored that you did ! You should definitely go over and check out the winners - there are a lot of great stories listed. **_

_**Thanks to everyone who has been reading this story and to everyone who has reviewed - it overwhelms me and I could never express how much I appreciate it.**_

_**I hope you can follow this chapter clearly. It fluctuates between what is happening now and what Bella is remembering from the past. If it is unclear - please let me know.**_

_**This part of the story takes place 10 years later: Jasper and Edward are 29 and Bella and Alice are 28.**_

Chapter 35 Pictures of You - Pictures of Me…

(_Bella)_

I walked around the rooms, breathing in the scent of fresh paint and new carpet and wood. Everything was so perfect, untouched, unsoiled. There were no marks on the walls or digs in the hard wood floors. I had never lived somewhere that was completely brand new and it was a bit intimidating. I was afraid of ruining the current perfection.

The house Edward and I had had built was finally finished last month. We had needed to take some time to put the finishing touches on some of the interior elements, and then we had had to wait for all of our furniture to be delivered, and then we had had all of our own personal stuff moved in. This was the first day that we were actually living in our home. We would sleep here tonight for the first time, and I couldn't wait. For the past several years we were a bit nomadic, and with school and Edward's residency we tended to flop from apartment to apartment. Now we had a home, a permanent place to live and call our own.

We were also really 'home'. We built the house on a piece of Esme and Carlisle's property. Edward had taken an offer to become a partner in a private practice two towns over. It was close enough that we could live here, and when Edward had told his parents they were beyond ecstatic. It had been their suggestion for us to build our house on their property.

My parents were happy as well. Five years ago my father gave up the high profile forensics gig he had worked all those years and became the police chief of this little town. My mother still worked at the same school she had been at for ten years now. They were glad that we would be living so close. When Edward had done most of his medical training and residency on the east coast - they had been sure he would take an offer there and we would not get to see them often. But now we were moving in, and would all be one big happy family.

I looked out the window in the kitchen into the back yard. It still didn't seem real that we were finally settling, that we finally had a home, and a place to put down roots. I knew I needed to get to some unpacking, but I decided to take one more walk through the house first. Edward had carefully planned most of the layout of the house. He had let me choose how I wanted the kitchen - and after years of inadequate apartment kitchens, I went a little crazy. The kitchen was huge and had the very best appliances. I had made a map and already knew what I intended to do with every square inch of cabinet and counter space. I ran my hand over the cold, smooth granite of the countertop and smiled.

We had a formal dining area and living room. We had two offices, which Jasper had thought was a ridiculous waste of space. Of course, he was one to talk, seeing as how he had an office in their house, and then Alice had a whole other building for her needs. Edward had wanted a place to keep paperwork specific to his practice, and I needed a space to do my writing. We realized we both needed our own private space, so we made sure the house had the room to accommodate it. Edward's office was very minimal. It had a desk and some file cabinets. There were bookshelves waiting for his various medical books and journals. There were some boxes on the floor that contained the items he was going to unpack in here, and on the desk, wrapped carefully, were his framed degree and medical license. He was a very skilled doctor, and had wound up in general practice, seeing a wide variety of patients each day. He claimed he liked the variety - that in an hour he could treat a sore throat, do a sports physical for a teenager, and also send someone rushing to the hospital when he was able to discern that their heartburn was really a heart attack. That was what he claimed - but I think he really liked the fact that he was able to have a personal relationship with a lot of these patients. He had an incredible bedside manner, and his patients all responded to it.

My office was typical Bella chaos. It had my ratty desk, which I refused to part with, and the rest of the room was an explosion of stuff, all of which needed my attention days ago. There were two edited chapters from my latest book that Tanya wanted me to look over and make changes to. There were mock-ups for the jacket print of the book and also a pile of pictures of me - Tanya wanted me to choose a new one for the newest book. I still couldn't believe I was a real author. Tanya had looked at some of my writing years ago and had given me some good tips and encouragement. When I finished school I taught on and off for three years and worked on a book at the same time. I sent it to Tanya when it was done and she loved it. That book, about the friendship of two teenage girls, became a hit - and I was now on the fourth installment of the series. In fact, the books had become so popular that in conjunction with the latest release in the fall, I was also doing a national book signing tour. I was making a fair amount of money, and I didn't teach anymore. Instead, I spent hours at my computer, typing away. Edward teased me about being a star, especially when I got the occasional fan letter. He teased, but he was more proud of me than anyone else.

I made my way upstairs, gliding the smooth wood of the banister under my hand as I went. The long hall had several bedrooms branching off of it. We had built the house with six bedrooms, at my insistence. As I walked down the hall towards the stairs that led to our room, my hand flew to my stomach involuntarily. I wondered when some of the other rooms would be filled, I wondered if this was the month that our miracle would happen. Most of the bedrooms were completely bare. Edward had warned me not to keep setting myself up for things, because I might be disappointed. I understood, but I also didn't want these rooms touched, not until I could decorate them in the way that I planned, for our children - whenever they entered our lives.

I climbed the stairs to our own private floor. I opened the door to our bedroom and was amazed once again by the incredible masterpiece. Edward had insisted on doing our room himself- I wasn't even aloud to peek until it was complete. It had been worth the wait, It was like something out of a storybook - and he said that his intention was to make it fit for a queen. It certainly was. There was an enormous four post bed with flowing silk curtains tied at each post. The bedding was some sort of Italian creation, and I imagined it rivaled a cloud in its softness. The closet was almost as big as the sleeping area, it even had benches and full length mirrors. The bathroom was outfitted like a private spa, and it was so sparkling clean - I was actually afraid to use it. There was a marble fireplace set into one wall, and there was a large beautiful balcony that overlooked the back yard. Our house had been built so that our meadow was actually the back yard. No one else knew the significance of that, but to us - it made our home that much more special. Although I knew Edward wouldn't admit it to anyone else, he had built the balcony off of our room because he really had a thing for having sex outside. I knew that he would be dragging me out onto the balcony every chance he got, not that I minded.

I made my way back downstairs. I was determined to tackle a few of the boxes piled in the hall before lunch. I surveyed the contents of each and decided to start with the box that contained a variety of framed photos. I had places in mind for most of them and I figured it would be an easy way to start. I slipped the box cutter from my pocket and sliced through the packing tape.

I pulled out the top picture. The faces of Alice, Jasper and Edward smiled at me from the frame.

They were all sitting on the couch, in the first apartment we all shared. Jasper had his arm around Alice and Edward had a huge bowl of popcorn in his lap. I remembered the night I took the picture. Edward and I had been in the apartment, alone together for a week before Jasper and Alice got back from their honeymoon. It had been an interesting week; exciting, scary, romantic and even a little frustrating. The night Alice and Jasper arrived we had a little party. We ordered Chinese take-out and later that night we sat on the couch and watched movies they had made on their trip. I took the picture just before I sat down next to Edward. The two years we all lived together had been so much fun, in fact they were probably two of the most fun years I have ever had. We also learned a lot in those two years. We learned how to have quiet sex. We learned to never let Jasper do the grocery shopping unless you were content to eat hot dogs and cereal all week. And I learned things about Edward, too. I found out he always washed his underwear separate from his other clothes. I also found out he only used toothpaste that was blue and only Ivory soap. He preferred Lucky Charms cereal and only drank the kind of orange juice that had all that disgusting pulp floating in it. He liked to joke that in those years of living with me he learned that I was a blanket stealer. He also learned that I hated white bread and preferred to be bare foot as much as humanly possible. Those were two really good years.

I brought the picture down to the family room and hung it near the couch.

I went back up to the box to fish out the next picture. I was preoccupied with thoughts of those first years we were together. In some ways it all seemed so long ago, like a different life.

I looked at the picture I pulled out next. I ran my fingertip over this one wistfully, wondering again about my miracle. It was a picture of Emmett, Rosalie and their four beautiful children.

They had had a son six years ago, followed by identical twin girls, and then another son. Right now, Rose was four months pregnant with their fifth. Emmett was playing professional football in Dallas. We didn't see them often, but we did talk on the phone, and Rose and I often wrote letters to each other. Rosalie, who had once told Edward that she never wanted the responsibility of a family, had turned out to be a domestic goddess. She really was the perfect mom, she handmade the children's Halloween costumes, she was president of the PTA, she volunteered at the library, she was the stage mom for the girls' ballet recitals, and the list went on. And of course she managed to do it all while looking like a model. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't envious of their family. I placed the photo on a shelf in the living room.

My thoughts turned from the time we had lived in our first apartment, to now, to the months and months we had been trying for a family of our own. Yes, I did envy Rosalie.

The next photo was my favorite picture ever to be taken. In fact, it was so special to me that I had special back-up copies in case anything ever happened to it. It was a black and white print of Edward and I - on the Eiffel Tower. Our hair is being blown around by the wind. We are wearing similar black wool coats and Edward has on a scarf, the lights of Paris are twinkling behind us. Edward is looking at me, and I am looking at the camera. It is the best picture I have ever seen of the two of us. It was taken just after Edward asked me to marry him.

We had gone to Paris after I had finished school. It was the winter, I had doubled up on some classes and graduated a semester early. Edward had already headed out east to start on his medical degree, and for three months we had been living apart. It was horrible. It was so bad, in fact - that I had seriously considered just following Edward, and finishing up my degree at a different school. Alice and Edward helped talk me through it - and in the end, I think a little time apart did bring us closer. It also helped to know that Edward had missed me as much as I had missed him. Over the winter holidays, Edward and I boarded a plane and headed for France.

On our second day there we went to the tower. Edward had been acting strangely all day, and I had actually worried that the time apart had caused him to have second thoughts about our future. We were on an observation deck of the tower, I was completely entranced by the view. In Edward's usual amazingly perfect and romantic way, he wrapped his arms around me and began telling me all the things he loved about me, and what he hoped for our future. Then he was down on one knee and holding out a little box while he proposed. I know that I don't remember exactly what he said - I do know that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

I said "yes" - and he slid an enormous diamond on my finger. I was a little surprised by the ring that he had chosen. It had to have cost a fortune, it really was a huge diamond. I didn't wear much jewelry, and I certainly didn't wear anything this extravagant. Edward laughed at the expression on my face and explained his choice. I remember how sheepish and sweet he was as he told me.

"I know you don't normally wear things like this Bella. I picked this out because I wanted men way across the room to know that you were spoken for, I wanted it to be blazingly obvious that you belong to me - and, well - I also wanted everyone to know that the man who loves you is quite capable of taking very good care of you, that you will never ever want for anything. There is something about you that brings out this crazy instinct in me, to tell the world that you are mine."

I looked at the ring on my hand. It was now joined by my wedding band, and I never took it off. I felt a little flip-flop in my stomach as I remembered him telling me how long he had been planning on asking me, how he had picked out a ring two years before. It was completely perfect.

I set the picture to the side. I intended to put it in our room, but I knew there were two others that belonged in our room also, so I was going to bring them all up together.

I pulled the picture of Edward in his hospital scrubs out of the box. He looked so hot in those things, it just wasn't right. He had on his serious face, and his green eyes were intense. We always disagreed on this picture. I loved it - for many reasons. Edward disliked it, for many of the same reasons. This picture was taken when we were living in New York. Edward was knee deep in all of his medical training. I was teaching ninth grade English in an exclusive private school. We had an apartment in the city, and it was small. It was May in 2013, and our wedding was 7 months away. We had been engaged for a year and a half. Esme had insisted on us having a huge wedding. She had loved Alice's intimate little ceremony, but as this was her last child to get married, she was hoping to plan something really grand. I didn't have the heart to argue, and Alice and Esme went wedding crazy in Washington while Edward and I lived across the country.

Edward was completely swamped with work. He was exhausted and a bit crabby most of the time. I was lonely, and sad, and missing our family out west.

One morning I woke up to realize that Edward and I hadn't had sex in almost two months. We didn't eat together, we didn't go out and do anything fun together. It was like we were roommates instead of lovers. I realized that all the stress of life was getting to us and decided to try and remedy the situation. I showed up at the hospital where he was working hoping on a lunch date, but I couldn't find Edward. Instead, I ran into one of the other interns - his name was Eric and he and Edward always seemed to be competing for the top spot, whether it was grades, or practical work or skill - it had become one of Edward's goals to best Eric. Eric and I had met before - I found him to be a bit crass and stuck up, and he was no where near Edward's league in terms of looks.

Eric struck up a conversation with me, and that conversation led to such a mountain of trouble. He told me that Edward was out having lunch with a woman from their group named Heidi. He said that they had been having lunch together everyday for the past few weeks, and often dinner too. I didn't believe him. He told me that he overheard them today and that they were going to the 7th Street Café. I knew the place well. It was Edward's favorite - it was our place. I couldn't imagine why he would be taking another woman out to lunch - or dinner for that matter. It really didn't make sense in light of the fact that we had had so little time together lately. It felt like Eric was speaking some crazy language that I didn't understand.

Then things took another step over into the 'Twilight Zone'. Eric told me that if Edward didn't have a problem going out with someone else, that maybe I should live a little as well. He then asked if I wanted to go have lunch with him, or if I'd like to go back to his apartment. He had me cornered and I was pressed up against a wall. He was scaring me and I wondered if he had such little experience with women that he thought he was going to get a date out of this. Then he grabbed onto both of my arms and leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head away and he got mad. He said something about me being a "stupid bitch" and that I deserved Edward cheating on me. He was still holding my arms and was now gripping them so tightly I was sure there would be marks. He shoved me back into the wall and then walked away. I was shaking.

I walked back to our apartment, and on the way I passed the café. I made sure I was on the other side of the street. At precisely that moment, Edward and Heidi were leaving. Edward held the door open for her, guiding her with his hand placed near the small of her back. He was smiling. She was beautiful.

I was shattered.

I ran home and got in the shower. Sure enough there were marks on both of my arms where Eric had handled me roughly, and a big angry bruise was forming on my right shoulder blade from when I had been slammed into the wall. I made my way to our bed, still sopping wet. I had to talk to someone but I didn't know who. My mom was a precious soul - but hearing something like this would make her hate Edward - and I couldn't have that happen - no matter what he ever did to me. Alice didn't seem like the right choice either - sometimes there were drawbacks to her being Edward's sister.

As if by divine intervention, the phone rang. It was Esme calling about some details for the wedding. She had barely gotten through her greeting when I broke down into sobs. And then Esme did something that I will cherish until the day I die. She hopped on a plane and was banging on our apartment door several hours later. I was still a wreck, and she sat and held me and hugged me and listened to everything I had to say. She asked if I had talked to Edward about any of this - and my very stupid and immature answer was no. I had hid myself away in the bedroom and hadn't even attempted to figure things out with Edward.

Esme explained to me that although we were fortunate to have Carlisle and Edward in our lives, they were very charismatic and attractive men that would always have women throwing themselves in their path. To my surprise she told me I needed to be a little more confident in Edward's love for me, and that we needed to work things like this out together - instead of hiding.

Esme left a little while later. As far as I know, she never told Alice or Carlisle about her emergency trip out east. Esme and I had a different relationship after. I knew I could come to her with anything and that she truly did love me like a daughter.

She had gone to find Edward, and while he was on a break she told him what was going on at our apartment. Then she got back on a plane and flew home. I called Edward a hundred times, but his phone was off. I was afraid to head back to the hospital because I didn't want to run into Eric - and I also felt that if for some reason things were over between us - I wanted to be told in private - not where he was working.

As I had waited for Edward to come home, I fell asleep. I was woken to the most beautiful sound - Edward's voice, saying my name. The sound of his smooth, honey voice was like a gentle brushing over my skin. I sat up and looked around. He had brought home dinner, and a movie. He looked troubled and angry and sad all at the same time.

He told me how surprised he had been to see Esme. He told me that he had wanted to run home as soon as she told him that I was there crying. He also apologized because they were being graded on a procedure today and he couldn't just leave. He hadn't called because he needed to speak to me face to face. Stupidly, I was still worried he was going to tell me we were over, I thought that was why he had wanted to tell me face to face. He must have understood the look on my face because he gathered me in his arms and laughed.

He explained that Heidi was married. She was having the most trouble with their work, and was told to ask either Edward or Eric for some help so she could get caught up. Eric wasn't willing to offer anyone the chance to be better, so she had gone to Edward. They had been spending lunch and sometimes dinner, studying. Edward had met her husband, who was grateful for his help. I felt extremely foolish.

"I was so angry that you thought I would ever cheat on you Bella. You are my life. I wish you had yelled to me when you saw us at the restaurant or something. I hate to think I caused you pain. I never really mentioned that I was helping Heidi because there wasn't much to tell. We see so little of each other lately and it just didn't come up. My mom explained to me all the reasons I should have told you, and I promise I will always explain things fully to you from now on."

He then eased off my shirt and let out a rather long stream of obscenities while he surveyed the damage that Eric had done. The marks on my arms were already fading, but the bruise on my back was ugly.

"That's part of the reason I'm so late. I found Eric and gave him a black eye and a bloody nose. I wanted to keep going until he was a bloody pulp, but someone pulled me off of him. He made a big stink about calling the police until I agreed that he should, so that I could report what he had done to you. Esme was appalled by what Eric did- I think it is the first time in my life that she actually encouraged my horrible temper."

We had dinner together for the first time in a while. We watched a movie and then had the absolute best sex in the history of time. To this day I can't think of a word that could express how good it was. We promised each other we would never take each other for granted again. And from that day on we kept that promise.

I had taken the picture when he was leaving the next morning. I loved it because it always reminded me how fragile what we have is. It reminded me to nurture our love, to always appreciate it, and it also reminded me that I always need to go to Edward first, instead of jumping to conclusions. Edward said it makes him think about the marks on my arms and back, the pain he brought to me, and the fact that he spent nearly two months neglecting his fiancée. And that is why we disagree.

I placed the picture next to our engagement one. It always sits on my nightstand. When I wake in the morning, I look at it and remember to be confident in Edward's love.

I pulled our wedding picture out of the box. This was the third picture that belonged in our room. I gathered them up and headed up the stairs.

I looked at the picture as I walked. The day had been an absolute spectacle. There had been 500 guests. Esme had booked a huge ballroom in Seattle where we had the reception. Our wedding was in a large stone church chosen more for its seating capacity than anything else. We were married December 12, 2013. I couldn't believe it was almost five years already. Esme had her moment to shine, Edward and I were finally married, and Alice made me a dress that launched her career.

I thought of the copies of Bride magazine that were somewhere in a box in the basement. Alice and Jasper have had a very interesting and strange course to their lives. Alice is now a world famous designer of bridal gowns. She has had shows all over the world, including three years running at Fashion Week in New York. Her dresses have graced the covers of 57 different bridal magazines. And to top all of that off, right now, the 'it' thing for Hollywood elite is to be married in a "Whitlock Original" wedding dress.

As soon as Edward popped the question Alice was off and running on my dress. She was already making dresses full time, she had dropped out of college and rented a space where she designed and sewed the dresses. She had a small local clientele. That all changed after word and pictures of my dress got out. Alice told me she had been planning my dress for years, and that she already had everything for it, she just needed to measure me and get to work.

I stared at myself in the picture. The dress Alice had made me was a work of art. It was made from antique silk imported from France. There were yards and yards of handmade lace and Alice sewed over 3000 crystals onto it by hand. After our wedding Alice's career skyrocketed. I believe that right now there is over a year's wait to get a "Whitlock Original" gown. My dress is actually in a special climate controlled storage facility. Alice told me that one day she would alter it so my daughter could get married in it. I shook my head, doubting right now that that day would ever come.

Alice and Jasper were living in Seattle now. Jasper was a psychiatrist, and he actually had a big boom in patients due to Alice's stardom. It turns out that many of those Hollywood folks have lots of troubles they need to share. Jasper now has quite a long list of the rich and famous under his treatment. I have the sneaking suspicion that they just feel comfortable with him because he looks like a movie star too.

I set the pictures where I wanted them in our room. Intimidated yet again by the newness of everything in this house.

The last picture in the box was from our honeymoon. Edward was laying on a large hammock, he was wearing sunglasses and swim trunks. There is a book that is closed by his side. I am curled up at Edward's side, I am wearing a blue bikini and my head is resting on Edward's chest as I sleep. The rest of the picture is filled out with the blue water of the ocean, the golden sand and palm trees.

We spent our honeymoon in a private villa on the ocean in Fiji. For days and days we were completely carefree as we swam and read and danced and made love for hours on end. I watched Edward surf and he taught me to snorkel. We got incredible tans, and did a whole lot of skinny-dipping. I never wanted to come home.

I put this picture on the shelf near the picture of Emmett's family.

I dragged another box into my office. This one was full of clippings of reviews, copies of my books and documents certifying the places my books have held on best-seller lists.

I looked at the clock. It was still early, but I felt exhausted from my little trip down memory lane. My parents were coming for dinner tonight. I decided to head in to the kitchen and start prepping. I was just going to have Edward grill some steaks, but they needed to marinate - and I wanted to get the rest of the dinner items ready.

I took a peek in the small black planner that was on the counter in the kitchen. According to my calendar I should be ovulating. I made a mental note that we needed to be certain to have sex tonight. Last night was an off night - but tonight was a night with good chances and I didn't want to waste it. Maybe I would use our new balcony to my advantage. I hated having to check the calendar - but after trying for well over a year to get pregnant - this is what I had been reduced to.

I was getting tired of waiting for my miracle.

(_Edward)_

I pulled up the long driveway that led to our new home. There was something satisfying about driving over fresh pavement. Of course the new Mercedes I was driving would probably have made a rutted dirt road seem enjoyable. I smiled as I caught site of our home. Our home. The lights inside were welcoming me, and I knew that there was a brown haired beauty who was probably working in the kitchen. I longed to wrap my arms around her.

I pulled around to the garage and waited as the door slid open. I pulled my car in next to Bella's Volvo. She had let me get her one when we started trying to have a family. I wanted her and whatever other precious cargo we might be blessed with to be safe.

The thought of our currently non-existent family pulled my happy mood down a few notches. I wanted very badly to believe that our new home would give us a new start. That here we would get our miracle, and Bella wouldn't be sad and depressed anymore.

We had been trying for 18 months to get pregnant. One and a half years. At first it had been fun. There was the excitement of finding out if we had been successful, not to mention the no holds barred - all sex all the time - throw caution to the wind recklessness that seemed to accompany this plan to procreate.

At first.

After 6 months Bella began to change. Each month would bring hurt, and when her period would come she would lock herself in the bathroom and cry. I told her to relax, that it would just take some time.

We tried for 6 more months. Now sex was becoming a chore.

There were schedules to be complied with, special foods to be eaten to increase fertility. My wonderful wife - who couldn't keep her office organized to save her life - was now sporting a schedule of her ovulation cycle that was so detailed it would make a NASA rocket scientist jealous.

After a year Bella insisted on seeing some specialists. Just as I had assured her - we were both fine. I had plenty of sperm - she had viable eggs. I wondered about the irony - I mean, if we weren't careful back when we met, we probably would have had a bunch of kids by now - but since we were ready and trying it seemed impossible.

The doctor we saw advised trying for a while longer before he would want to get into fertility drugs or things like that. Being a doctor as well, I agreed. I really believed we just needed time, and for Bella to relax.

Now, at month 18, we have on and off days for sex. There are special positions to try, something I once found enticing but now found a pain in the ass. There are times of the day we can and can't be together. It is mind-numbingly frustrating.

I miss my wife. I miss the Bella who is happy and who enjoys life. I hate that she gets teary-eyed when we pass the baby section in a store. I hate that she hardly wants to talk for days after she has heard from Rosalie. I miss being able to pull her to me in the morning and being able to make love to her as the sun begins to creep in the window. I miss being Bella and Edward. We aren't right now. We're something very different.

I hated feeling like a piss poor husband who can't even get his wife pregnant.

I've seen fertility issues tear couples apart. I always found it strange that something that could be so wonderful, could carry with it so much bad baggage. I wished Bella would just let it be, that she would just let things happen. I didn't want us to be torn apart over this. We were better than that.

Alice and Jasper were trying for a family as well. They hadn't been trying as long - but they were so calm about it all. I knew some of that was Jasper's influence - the man radiated relaxation. They were happy though, excited by the journey.

The thrill of the journey had dried up a while ago for Bella. Now her eyes were only on the prize. A prize that might never come.

I wanted a child of our own. I wanted to know that there was a little creature on this planet that was created from my love for Bella. I wanted to see Bella smile as she held a little bundle in her arms.

I knew that Bella believed that it would all be worth it when we had a baby. All the hurt now would be healed later. I wasn't sure that I agreed.

Yes, I wanted a baby, a family - but not at the expense of losing my wife, my best friend. I was selfish - but I needed her. I needed her to choose us - I didn't want to spend years pushed aside because of her pain over not getting pregnant.

I shook my head and looked at the clock on the dash. I had been sitting here for ten minutes. I wiggled my fingers around, realizing that I had had them balled into tight fists. I wondered at how quickly my pleasant mood from earlier had vanished.

Renee and Charlie would be here for dinner soon. I needed to get in the house.

Bella was in the kitchen. She was so beautiful in the blue dress she was wearing, it was one of my favorites.

She had an apron on and was drying her hands on a dishtowel. She brushed her long brown hair back with her hand and tucked it behind her ear. I loved her so much in that moment that my heart ached.

I wanted to scoop her up in my arms. I wanted to carry her up to our room and love her body to utter exhaustion. I wanted to be with her simply because I loved her more than everything in the world, not because we were trying to make a baby or have a family. I wanted to love her because I loved her, Bella, my gorgeous wife. And I didn't want her to say no.

_**3 Chapters to go. I am behind on review replies - I will get right to it - I just needed to get typing if I want this finished by 8/2. Thanks so much for reading!**_


	36. No Words

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of all things Twilight.**_

_**AN: I apologize in advance. You may want to have tissues handy before you start reading this chapter. **_

Chapter 36 No Words

(_Bella)_

As I stretched and looked at my clock I saw that it was already after 9:00am. I didn't usually sleep so late and the strong sunlight pouring through the window cheered me. I had a good feeling about today.

The sun was shining. It looked like it was going to be a pleasant day.

I was due to get my period and it hadn't come yet.

Edward had kissed me sweetly before he left for work. That meant he was probably over his anger from last night. That was good. Fighting over the whole baby thing was getting old. No - actually, fighting over the baby thing had gotten old months ago. Now it just seemed inevitable. I don't know how he expected me to relax. We had tried the whole spontaneous, let's just go for it route. It didn't work for us. He felt like a sperm donor and I felt like a barren harpy. It was not a good situation, all the way around. If it would just be ok. If I would just get pregnant, all of the fighting will have been worth it. At least that was what I hoped.

I had begun to wonder how far it could go and still be repairable. How much garbage could I keep dumping on my wonderful husband before he snapped? I wanted to stop, I wanted to change - but I couldn't.

I was getting to see Alice today. That was a treat all in itself. She had been so busy the past few months that I had only seen her a handful of times. We talked on the phone almost daily, but it wasn't the same. I secretly hoped that the reason for the visit was that she was pregnant. Jasper and Alice had been trying to get pregnant for the past bunch of months. They had not been trying nearly as long as Edward and I - but it was pretty slow going for them as well. Of course they approached the situation completely different than we did (ok - I should be saying I - not we - Edward isn't exactly onboard with my plan). They were just going with the flow.

As much as I knew I would be a bit jealous, I hoped beyond anything that they would be pregnant. It would give me hope, and a chance to do a little vicarious living through Alice. I would be the best aunt ever.

As I stretched and got out of bed, I was struck again with a sense of promise. This was going to be a good day. We had been in our new home for three weeks. Maybe Edward was right, maybe the new start was just what we needed. Maybe now we were ready for our miracle.

I was meeting Alice at Carlisle and Esme's at 1:00. Although we lived on the same acreage as them, it wasn't convenient to walk over. We had done it once or twice, but we really needed to cut a trail through the brush to make it safe. I was a danger on hard level ground, trudging through thorny bushes and over fallen trees was simply inviting disaster. So I grabbed the bottle of sparkling juice that I had purchased, to be opened on the announcement of either Alice's or my pregnancy, and hopped in my car.

I was surprised that Esme wasn't home. She usually made a point to spend as much time as she could with Alice. We all missed not having them live close by. I left the juice in the car, wanting to surprise Alice with an impromptu celebration after she told me the good news.

Alice was sitting in a chair on the porch when I arrived. I noticed she looked different. I hadn't seen her in two weeks, but she looked tired and drawn. My stomach fluttered - maybe the morning sickness was rough - I had read that for some women it was really bad. I was positively humming with excitement.

I hugged Alice and we launched into a quick catch-up conversation. She asked some questions about the house, and I asked about her dresses and latest clients. She laughed as she told me that at her show in Los Angeles last week, a model had hit on Jasper. She said that he was so flustered that he nearly toppled backward over a row of chairs. I laughed, if it had been Edward, I probably would have been jealous, but Jasper and Alice were so devoted to each other that the idea of someone ever coming between them was laughable. I told her about the stray puppy that had shown up on our doorstep a week ago. We had put up some flyers and asked around, but as of yet no one had claimed it. It had been in a tussle with a porcupine and Edward had needed to doctor it up. Edward was in love with the thing. He had named it Quil.

It was so good to just sit with Alice and talk. Our phone conversations tended to be short little "hello"s - so that we knew we were thinking of each other, and it at least looked like we were keeping in touch. This was so much better.

I was anxious for Alice to blurt out the real reason for her visit. I was dying to just gush over all the details. There was finally a lull in the conversation and I could see her getting ready to talk. She was doing that deep breath thing she always did before telling me something big.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something Bella. I went to the doctor last week." She hesitated.

Last week!! She'd known for at least a week and kept it a secret. I couldn't believe her.

"I kind of wanted to tell everybody face to face. I actually talked to Edward and mom and dad over lunch."

Unbelievable, she already told everyone else! No wonder Esme wasn't here, she was probably buying out Babies-R-Us.

Then I noticed that she was kind of scrunching up her face. She didn't look very happy. I suddenly felt nervous. Had she had a miscarriage, or was there something wrong with the pregnancy already?

Alice held onto my hand and looked up into my face. She suddenly looked frightened, positively terrified.

"I'm sick Bella. I'm really, really sick. I have cancer, and it is aggressive. I might not have much time."

I saw her lips moving, I heard the words that came out of her mouth, but my brain didn't register them at all. I thought she was going to tell me she was having a baby. I thought that we were going to be laughing about a baby. She's supposed to tell me she's pregnant. I thought she was having a baby.

Sick?

Time?

"What?" I finally found my voice, and the one word that escaped my lips sounded like an accusation.

"I'm sick Bella. Dying, maybe. I don't know…" her voice trailed off.

Dying?

This wasn't possible. It didn't make any sense at all.

"How did you find out? I mean, are you sure?" What a stupid question, as if she woke up with a stomachache and had decided to tell us all it was cancer.

"I haven't felt right lately. I thought that maybe I was pregnant, because my cycle was all whacked out, and I was so exhausted, but then I started losing weight."

She did look tired, exhausted. And when I had hugged her she had been like skin and bones. She was so tiny already, she couldn't afford to lose. Why hadn't I realized that something was wrong.

"There have been a lot of things. I just kept dismissing them because I thought they were related to all the stress of work. My doctor has done a bunch of tests. I think I have had every scan and blood test invented in the last week." She inhaled sharply. She looked undone.

"Jasper?" I couldn't even form a question, so I just said his name - I knew she would understand.

"He's holding it together, for me. I think we are both in shock right now. He came with me today, he's with mom and dad. They went out for a little while so I could talk to you. He doesn't want to leave my side, but I insisted this time. This was just something I had to do alone."

I stood and paced to the end of the porch. I wanted to scream. I was so incredibly pissed off. I wondered what I should be doing right now. What was the protocol when your best friend in all the world told you something like this? Should I be hugging her, crying, questioning, comforting? What was I supposed to do? I still couldn't even fathom what she said. How was this possible?

And then Alice's shoulders slumped. She made a strangled sound in her throat and then began making the most heart-wrenching sobs I have ever heard leave another person. I stopped thinking about what I should do and sat next to her and pulled her into my arms.

She cried and cried. I did not. Somehow, deep inside, I knew that right now I needed to be strong for her. An anchor. I smoothed her hair and rubbed her back. My shirt was completely ruined from all the tears and make-up and snot running all over it. I didn't care. I kissed the top of her head and told her that it was okay. I lied, because I had to.

When her sobs finally quieted, and she was exhausted from the crying, she laid herself across my lap. I continued to rock her gently, trying to help quiet her heart.

I was surprised when she started talking quietly.

"I'm sorry. I made up my mind not to cry again, but I knew that with you I could. I could have one last cry. I couldn't do it in front of mom and dad. Mom started crying. In fact, before they left I am pretty sure she went in the bathroom and threw up. I knew I had to hold it together for them."

"I'm scared Bella. What's Jasper going to do? What about all the dresses I'm supposed to finish? What's going to happen to me?"

I think she would have been crying again, but I don't think she had any tears left.

"What did Edward and dad say? What about second opinions? What kind of treatments are you going to get?"

I hated to overwhelm her with questions. Especially as she lay over my lap, looking more fragile than glass.

"I brought copies of all my records for them to look over. Dad said he intends to pull in every favor he can from the best doctors in the country. I will get another opinion. It's ovarian cancer - that was part of the reason I was having so much weird stuff with my period. Unfortunately, it has already spread. We don't have a family history - but they said that sometimes things just happen, anomalies."

It felt like someone had pried off the top of my head and poured a bottle of Elmer's glue into my brain. All my thought processes were completely gummed up.

Anomaly?

We sat on the porch for nearly two hours. Sometimes we were just quiet. At other times I asked questions and Alice replied as best she could. I couldn't believe that my sister had been dealing with cancer, while I selfishly caused Edward such grief over a non-existent child. I was truly a monster.

We watched as Carlisle's car wound it's way back down the driveway. Jasper was out and running for Alice before the car stopped. I got up to leave.

I had to go. I had to be somewhere else. Jasper gently squeezed my arm in greeting as he passed me. His eyes didn't leave Alice. He scooped her up in his arms and sat with her on his lap.

I turned and walked back to Alice.

"It's going to be alright, honey. We're all here for you." I kissed her black, spiky hair once more and left.

I pulled into our garage minutes later. I spied the bottle of juice on the passenger seat.

A peal of manic laughter echoed around me, and like a complete idiot - it took me moment before I realized the sound was coming from me. I thought I was going over there to celebrate the good news. Celebration. Right. I was pretty damn sure no one toasted getting cancer.

I assumed Edward wouldn't be home for a few hours. I felt like I should call him, but I couldn't. I didn't want to think.

I ran upstairs to our bedroom and tossed on some sneakers. I wasn't really dressed for exercise, but I didn't care. I grabbed my I-pod and got on the treadmill. I wasn't much of a runner and I was tired and sweaty after fifteen minutes. I had hoped the combination of music and movement would help me get my bearings, but it wasn't working.

In the bathroom I climbed in the shower and turned the water as hot as I could stand. I wished I could cry, but for some insane reason I was way more angry than sad. I was completely livid.

As I stood under the steaming blast of water I tried to form the thoughts in my head into some sort of coherence. It was a losing battle.

I noticed a stream of red running down my leg. Blood. I got my period after all.

For the first time in a year and a half, I wasn't upset by the sight. I would willingly give up our miracle for Alice. Right then and there I got down on my knees and said as much to any God that would listen. Let Alice have our miracle. Make her whole, make her well.

I grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass from the kitchen. I had not had a sip of alcohol in all the months that we were trying to have a baby. Not a drop. I opened the bottle and poured myself a glass. I took the bottle with me. I wasn't pregnant, and if I had ever had an excuse to get drunk, this was it.

I was anxious for Edward to get home. I was holding on to hope. I believed in Edward and Carlisle. They were gifted doctors. I was sure that once they looked over Alice's records they would be able to figure something out. Maybe the things she said about time and death were worst case scenario things. I held tightly to this shred of hope.

I was on my third glass of wine when I heard Edward's car pull in. The alcohol helped me to find some hope. I was excited for Edward to walk in. I just knew he was going to tell me that Alice would be okay. Edward would know what needed to be done. Edward always knew. He could fix anything.

The door closed behind Edward and I turned on the couch to face him. One look at his face and the shred of hope, the chance that all would be well - disappeared into nothingness. Edward's beautiful green eyes were glassy. His hair looked like he had been yanking his hands through it in frustration - sticking out at odd angles from being handled roughly. His mouth was a sharp straight line and I could see that he was clenching his jaw.

"Edward?" I was about to get up and go over to him, but he barreled toward me.

He fell to his knees in front of me and buried his face in my lap. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands meeting behind my back. And then, Edward - my hero, my protector, the man who always knew what to do - cried. His shoulders heaved violently as loud sobs emanated from deep in his stomach.

I had never seen Edward cry. I had known him for ten years and I had never seen it. He had popped a few tears when we got engaged, and at our wedding - but I had never seen him lose control like this. I thought of our vows - "in sickness and health …in happiness and sorrow". Sorrow.

I hung my head. Part of me wished I had been farther along on that bottle of wine. I felt like grabbing it and taking a long pull right out of the bottle.

I had a dull aching pain in my chest. I knew. I knew it as soon as I saw the look on Edward's face. I knew.

Alice was going to die.

When Edward was done crying, we went upstairs. We hadn't eaten dinner, but neither of us was hungry. We both put on pajamas and got ourselves ready for bed. We didn't say much to each other.

We flipped through the channels for a while. We talked about the cake challenge that was on Food Network and watched an old I love Lucy. It was all so benign. I snickered internally at my word choice.

Edward finally leaned in and kissed me. He handed me the remote and switched off his light. I flipped around for another minute before giving up the fight. Edward was still and quiet. I knew he wasn't asleep, but I also knew he needed a little time with his thoughts. I clicked off my light and looked at my clock.

9:00pm. Ironic. Hadn't I woken up twelve hours ago with the feeling that is was going to be a great day? I don't think I could have been more wrong. In fact, I think if I had left my house and gotten hit by a bus, it still would have been a better day than the one I just experienced. A great day? No, more like the worst fucking day imaginable.

I decided that if I ever woke with that feeling again - I would just pull the blankets up and stay in bed.

As I closed my eyes, I breathed another silent prayer for my friend, my sister. I was afraid to fall asleep. I knew when I woke in the morning that it would be the first in a long line of horrible days to come.

The next four months were packed with more misery than anyone should ever have to face. Poor Alice went from bad to worse in an incredibly short span of time.

During the first month Esme, Carlisle, Jasper and Alice visited doctors all over the country. After looking at her tests, and ordering ones of their own - they all said the same thing - "It's not good." Eventually it was decided that she needed a radical hysterectomy, and then chemotherapy. When the hysterectomy was completed they found that there was cancer on most of her major internal organs.

Strangely, it crossed my mind that if Alice ever got better she could never have children.

The doctors gave her months to live. Months. Not decades or years - months. And time marched mercilessly on.

Esme and Carlisle rented an apartment in Seattle, so we could be close when they were there. Sometimes Edward and I stayed there with mom and dad. Carlisle took a leave from work. So did Jasper.

Edward kept working. There was only so much he could do for Alice. She really wanted her parents and Jasper, and sometimes we were just in the way.

Edward felt like he was doing something at work. He had patients that were suffering with cancer. He told me that helping them felt like helping Alice.

"I just try to remember that each of my patients is someone's wife, or daughter, or sister, or friend. They are someone's Alice. I want her doctors to do all they can for her - and my patients deserve the same from me."

I respected him for that.

Alice was started on chemo and radiation. They stopped the treatments when she became too weak to continue. Some of her hair had fallen out. The rest was no longer the lustrous black it had once been. It was flat and dull, lifeless.

Sometimes I went to sit with Alice. Jasper was always there, too. I would talk to her and we would smile and sometimes even laugh. I still didn't know the right thing to say or do. I felt like the wrong words constantly flew out of my mouth.

Alice talked about dying. She talked about her funeral. She talked about things that needed to be taken care of when she was gone. I hated it when she did. It was morbid and it made me feel like she had given up the will to live.

Sometimes when I was alone, I wondered about Alice. I wondered if she was scared to die, or really as brave as she seemed. I wondered how she was feeling physically - was there pain? I wondered if she believed she would watch over us after she was gone. I wondered if she would miss me, and Edward and Jasper.

I spent a lot of time with my parents. My mom had lost a sister when she was pretty young, and I knew Alice's sickness was drudging up a lot of those unhappy memories for her.

"I don't know the right thing to do mom. And the emotions I feel seem so inappropriate. I am so mad. I just want to hit something, all the time."

"No one ever knows the right thing to do at times like this. What you need to do is be there for Alice. There's nothing else you can do. And it is okay to be mad. It sucks. No one so young and special should ever have to get sick like this."

I agreed. It did suck.

Edward and I had had sex a handful of times over the past months. It was more when we needed some sort of release from all the pent up emotional overload. Real life was on hold somewhere, it was way over on the back-burner. I didn't even think about babies. When you are plunged into the valley of the shadow of death, creating life is no longer your main goal.

And each day Alice slipped further away. It had been four months since she told me she was sick. That is no time really. The blink of an eye.

Alice had taken such a turn for the worse that she had been moved to the hospital Carlisle worked at. The only thing they could do at this point was keep her comfortable. Carlisle pulled strings, and Jasper could stay with Alice all the time.

I visited her each day. As I looked at her, lying in the hospital bed, she looked more like a child than a grown woman. She was attached to machines and morphine was being pumped into her veins at an alarming rate. I hadn't ceased my prayer for a miracle, it was constantly running in the background. Sadly, it was becoming clear that no one was listening.

It was a warm September evening as Edward and I drove to the hospital. I was going to visit with Alice while he did his rounds. Time was growing short. Alice faltered more each day.

When I went in the room, Jasper got up to leave. I realized Alice must have had something important to say to me. He didn't leave her now, not even for a moment. I didn't want her to tell me goodbye.

"Climb on my bed next to me Bell." Even her voice was weak.

I climbed up next to her and she rested her head on my shoulder. There was no weight to it at all. My hands were shaking. I clasped them together to make it less noticeable.

"I love you Bell. Please promise me that you will take good care of Edward when I'm gone. I know it isn't easy right now, but he needs you so much. He can't do this without you."

I swallowed, trying to clear the lump in my throat. I nodded in reply to her question.

Damn her, she was saying goodbye - and I wasn't ready. It wasn't fair.

"You two were meant to be together, just like me and Jasper. Don't ever let it go. Ever."

I nodded again. How do I say goodbye? I don't know how.

"I'm really tired. I'm not afraid, I am just weary. It feels like every breath is suddenly an effort. I just need you all to let me go. It will be ok. Just let me go."

My stomach felt as if it were filled with cold weight. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. I finally forced them out, and they burned as they crossed my lips.

"It's okay, honey. I love you Alice. I will always love you. If you need to go, you can go. We will miss you, but you can go. It's ok."

She smiled then.

Edward came in and I gave Alice one last hug and kiss before standing by him. He leaned in close and took her hand.

"I love you Eddie. Always. Don't forget."

She had closed her eyes.

"I love you Alie, get some rest now. We're all here. Don't worry. I love you, sis."

He raised her hand and kissed it. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Jasper came in then, and we moved to the door.

"Goodbye, Alice." I choked on the words. They were the words I didn't want to say. They were bitter, and the taste remained on my tongue.

"Bye. I'm sorry that I have to go." The words were almost a whisper. She rolled on her side and closed her eyes.

We waited in the waiting room. She had told Esme and Carlisle that she just needed to be with Jasper tonight.

On one of my trips to the bathroom I found myself wandering by her door. I didn't even know how I got there. The door was open slightly and Jasper was laying on the bed with her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He was reciting poetry.

None of us were surprised when Jasper came out at 4:27am to tell us that Alice was gone.

Gone.

Alice's funeral was on a Friday. It rained. We all wore black.

Jasper was gone, just like Alice. He breathed and walked and talked, but he was gone.

I was asked to give the eulogy. Alice asked me. She had planned most of the details of the funeral.

I didn't want to do it.

Nothing made sense right now. It was not possible that this was happening. Surreal was a very apt description.

I made my way to the microphone at the front of the church. I had to pass the casket, and I tried not to look at it.

I stared at the front row. Esme, Jasper, Carlisle, Edward - they were sitting in that order. Carlisle and Esme were like bookends, keeping Jasper upright.

"I am unsure how you sum up a life. Am I expected to stand here and tell you all of Alice's good qualities. I can. She was genuine, warm and caring. She was intensely private. She was reluctant to let people in. She shared herself willingly, but often hesitated to let them share in return. She was loved, by her husband and her family. She was creative and talented and a genius with a needle and thread. But is that enough. Maybe I am supposed to share a funny anecdote. I can. At the last Fashion Week show that featured "Whitlock Original" dresses, there was a model who wasn't presenting her dress the way Alice felt it should be presented. She asked the girl, politely, to try to do it differently but the model refused and then stormed off. Alice grabbed a needle and thread, altered the gown in ten minutes, strapped on a pair of 4 inch heels and wore the dress herself as she walked the runway. She was a force of nature, amazing in every way. I wonder if I am supposed to tell you how she is looking down on us, and that there is no more pain and that she is in a better place. Or am I really expected to simply say goodbye - when in fact there is nothing simple about it. I know Alice asked me to speak today because I am a writer. That would imply that I have a better than average ability to string words together in meaningful ways. I would if I could. I am not sure if the pain is too new and too fresh. I am not sure if the weight of loss is to blame. What I am sure of is that there are no words that I can find that adequately say goodbye, that encompass what we have lost. I know there aren't words because I scoured several dictionaries looking for the right ones. They do not exist. Personally I can't make sense of these tragic circumstances. A life cut short, a flame extinguished before it's time - there is no sense or logic in it. What I am sure of is that people like Alice come along once in a very great while. They bring goodness and magic and light to everyone they touch. When someone like that enters your life, it is changed for the better, forever. People like Alice are a gift. They are a treasure on loan from somewhere far better. We need to be grateful for the time we had with them - and not angry when they are taken back, back to where they belong. I love you Alice. Goodbye."

I don't remember going back to my seat. But somehow I was tucked into Edward's side and I knew everything was going to be okay. Eventually.

At the graveyard we stood in a sea of black umbrellas. They put my beautiful friend and sister in the ground. It made me sick. I just wanted to go home.

I stepped away from the group and dry heaved behind a Nissan pick-up. Edward found me and cleaned my mouth with his handkerchief. He held me close and kissed my forehead.

Before we headed home, we met up with Jasper. He was fiddling with his wedding band. He looked tired. His eyes had dark purple marks under them.

"Sometimes I wonder if she knew. She said things sometimes - and I would wonder how she knew. She wanted us to get married so soon because she said we didn't have time to waste. Do you think she knew? What if I had said we should wait - that would have been time wasted."

He put his arms at his sides. I hugged him tightly. His arms stayed at his sides.

When we got home, I realized I felt numb. Numb. There was no feeling, it was as if I had been shot up with Novocain from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. I hadn't cried. In the months that Alice was sick, I hadn't cried. Watching Esme and Edward and Jasper fall apart, I hadn't cried. I said goodbye to Alice today, they put her in a box and put her in the ground and I hadn't cried.

It was so wrong. I usually cried over the smallest things. And the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened in my life did not render a tear. Not one. I hated myself because of it. That was part of the problem, I was filled with so much anger that I was more likely to break something than cry.

Our home was silent. After all the buzz of people the past few days, the silence was deafening. Edward went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He had been holding my hand, but I released his hand and went to pick up the little planner that was on the counter. The stupid thing that I had let rule our lives the past months. The constant reminder that I wasn't capable of giving Edward the child he deserved. The source of so many arguments.

I took the small item out onto the deck. As I held the damn thing in my hand I screamed. As long and as loud as I could, I screamed. I took it and ripped it. I ripped every sheet of paper out of the offending book, my throat was burning with pain from the screams. Edward stood in the doorway and watched me with wide eyes. I was determined to get rid of the thing, I was never going to cause Edward pain over this again.

If we were meant to have a baby, than it would just have to happen. I was through praying for miracles. Lot of good it did with Alice. There weren't miracles to be had. And what if something happened to Edward? Would I want to look back and see that we wasted years of our life fighting because I insisted that he fuck me so I could get pregnant, and he just wanted to love his wife. For someone so smart, I had been incredibly stupid. Nothing was worth losing Edward over - not even a child, a family of our own. Would it really help to have a baby if Edward and I wound up resenting each other? I knew now that the answer was no. I wasn't letting this come between us ever again.

I had ripped the book to shreds. I stopped screaming and let a calm settle over me. I gathered up the mess I had scattered over the deck and threw it all into the outdoor fireplace set into the far corner. I struck match after match and tossed them on top. I didn't stop until all the paper had been turned to ash and the binder covering was charred.

I turned to Edward who was still standing in the doorway, stunned. He had a look on his face of shock. I think that in that moment he was a little afraid of me. There was no need. My anger had burned up with the paper. Now that it was gone I was hollow. The anger had filled me out the past months, it had given me dimension, now there was nothing inside of me.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You were right. If we are meant to have a baby, it will just happen. I'm sorry for what I have put you through all these months. You are always so good to me, and you never deserved to be treated the way I treated you. I'm so sorry."

I walked to the door, intending to go inside. Edward continued to block the way. As I got closer he reached out, and then I was held tightly in his embrace. He kissed me softly, and then looked at me - love and sadness mingling in his eyes.

"I can't ever lose you. I have no idea how Jasper is still standing. If you were gone I wouldn't want to live."

He stopped speaking and drew in a shaky breath.

It all crashed down then. The weight of death. The weight of loss. The weight of grief. The weight of trying for so long to conceive. The weight of my mistakes.

We reached out for something solid to bolster ourselves, to keep ourselves afloat in the storm. We reached out and grabbed onto each other, and we weren't letting go.

We kissed fiercely. We were seizing this moment of life. Edward's lips were a frenzy against mine, his tongue insistent and demanding. We left the door open and made our way toward our room, leaving a trail of clothing as we went. Our lips parted only for the seconds it took to draw a shirt over a head, or kick a pair or pants off of a leg. His hands were like a soothing balm, all over my body. I had missed this man so much.

By the time we were at the first staircase, Edward was naked from the waist down. I was trying to touch him and kiss him and navigate the steps. He snaked an arm around my waist, half carrying me as we went.

We didn't speak. Even the moans and sighs escaping us were impossibly quiet. By the time we reached the second flight of stairs up to our room, the only clothing left on either of us was my bra. Edward leaned me back so my bottom rested on one of the steps. He leaned over me, sliding his lips down the side of my neck greedily. His hands worked the clasp on my bra expertly and I let the piece of fabric fall away. It joined the trail of discarded items marking the path to our passion.

He leaned in to me again and his hard arousal pressed up against me. My body was ready to take all that he could give. He teased me, entering me the slightest bit before drawing away. Our lips met again and I wanted to drown in him. I wanted to sail into oblivion on his kisses.

Edward picked me up and placed me on our bed gently. Ha caressed me with more tenderness than I had ever known. Our fingers entwined. I slid my thighs apart, welcoming him into the cradle of my body. As he entered me I wrapped my legs around him, drawing him as close to me as possible. His lips were at my ear, murmuring "I love you"s in the barest of whispers. My body absorbed every once of his delicious weight.

We made love for hours. It was an effort to forget. It was an effort to forgive. It was an effort to meld our souls so closely together that we would never be parted. Not by time. Not by anger. Not even by death itself.

_**Sorry. Please review - if you hate me, or not - I can take it. **_


	37. Time

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight universe.**_

_**AN: I don't even have the words to express what your reviews from last chapter meant to me. I intend to get back to you all, promise.**_

_**This is the end - I was going to do 2 chapters - but instead I gave you one mega-long one. I hope you will enjoy the end of the story.**_

_**To the Twilighted ladies - under "awesome" in the dictionary - all of you are listed …. Yes - you are that special!**_

_**To StarrYNighT and Amblovestoread - sorry for making you sad - thanks for just being the best and also for giving me the courage to actually write the story the way I intended all along.**_

_**To smilelikeacullen: THIS was the chapter meant for you - and you will know why when you get close to the end - you are the sweetest.**_

_**To Samantha Ann - because it was your birthday, right?**_

_**To my hubby - for being such a good source for funny story lines and always keeping me supplied with Reese's while I typed away.**_

_**Sorry for the huge AN - but it is my last one!**_

Chapter 37 Time

(_Bella)_

Time waits for no man. Time marches on. You can't stop the hands of time. I had heard all of these things before. I had also understood the relative truth of the statements. I had never truly experienced the meaning until now.

Alice had been gone for three months. Nearly as long as she had been horribly sick. The first days were so full of consuming loss that I think we all just trudged through, getting through the day by whatever means necessary. Edward continued to work and tried to lose himself that way. Carlisle returned to work and I spent a lot of my day with Esme. My mom spent a lot of time with us also, and there was a never ending stream of well-wishers that would stop by the Cullen's to offer comfort or food or lend a hand with whatever might need doing.

Jasper went home to Seattle after that first week. He had shut down, cut himself off so completely that it was frightening. Edward didn't want to let him go. He worried that Jasper might be a danger to himself, and that going home and being surrounded by all of Alice's things wouldn't help the situation. I felt differently. Jasper had always been a rather private person. I felt he might need some time to work through things on his own.

Jasper had been home for two days when he called and asked if Esme and I could come and help him sort through Alice's things. It was a task I knew was on the horizon, and I had been dreading it. Esme and I stayed in the Seattle apartment on and off for three weeks. How do you sort through the contents of a life? Who was I to say what to save or what to donate? What right did I have to invade the private spaces of someone else? It was not an easy task. The three of us worked together, always being sure that Jasper had the final say on what we would do with things. I was surprised that Jasper wanted to do all of this so soon, but in some ways I think the sense of purpose was good for him.

When we had done all that we could, we went back home. Edward and I saw each other on and off during those weeks. Esme and I came home as often as we could, and Carlisle and Edward came to Seattle when they could. On the nights that we were apart Edward would call before he went to bed. I have never been so glad to get back home. I missed being with Edward everyday. I missed our bed. I missed Alice.

The sun rose and set. Sometimes it rained. The weather had turned much colder. Time was doing its thing. The days passed. Life went on.

I was still numb. Still, after all these days had passed, I would grab my phone when it rang, reflexively expecting Alice to be on the other end. Christmas was a few weeks away. Alice had loved Christmas and had always made the holidays special for everyone. That was her gift, to draw everyone into the excitement that she felt. We had all discussed it and it was decided that Christmas would be a more solemn event this year. We would decorate, but the gift giving and partying would be minimal. I wished we could just skip it altogether.

Edward and I were closer and happier than we had been in months. Our happiness was tempered with the pain of our loss, but the weight and burden of my quest to have a child had lifted. We made love, and my period continued to show up. I didn't let it take me over. If it was going to happen it would.

A week before Christmas Jasper called and asked if I would meet him for lunch. He was in town to drop some more of Alice's things off to Carlisle and Esme. Jasper was doing amazingly well. He had started seeing patients again and went out with Edward and I every two weeks. I made sure that Edward called him every other day - and sometimes he even called us in between. He wasn't really Jasper, though. He was kind of like a version of Jasper, someone acting the way they thought the real Jasper might. It seemed like an effort for him to talk, or eat, or live. But he did.

I agreed to meet him and was glad that I would have the chance to spend some time with him. We had had a monster snow storm last week and everything was still so white and beautiful. The blanket of snow reminded me of a clean slate. There was something promising to me about all the blankness. It was the same way I felt when I pulled out a fresh sheet of paper.

Jasper was waiting for me outside the restaurant. He looked good. His hair was longer than he normally wore it, and it was brushed back away from his face. The cold air had turned his cheeks and nose a little pink - and the color made him look healthy. His long wool coat was buttoned closed and I could see the collar of a blue button up shirt beneath it.

Alice and I had talked about Jasper a lot while she was sick. She teased that I should give him about two years and then I should start setting him up on dates. She said that it wouldn't be fair to all the ladies out there if such a gorgeous creature was permanently off the market. As if that was ever going to happen. Jasper, the gorgeous creature that he was, was damaged goods. He wasn't going to get over Alice, ever. And an awful, spiteful and mean part of me was glad. It didn't seem right for him to be with anyone else.

"Hello Bella." He said in his low quiet voice. It still amazed me how much we had all matured in the past months. I guess misery and death had that effect.

"Hi Jasper. How are you?" He shrugged in response, which was exactly what I had expected.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a reluctant hug. I was surprised when he gave me a quick peck on the cheek before stepping back. I smiled up at him and he gave me a funny look, as if he were contemplating something.

"You look different Bella, I'm not sure what it is. Did you do something different with your hair or something?"

"No. I'm the same as always." I was confused by his comment, but he didn't drop it.

"I don't know. It's like you're radiant or something, weird. Its nice, and I sound like an idiot. Sorry." He held the door for me and I went in to the restaurant.

We talked about Edward, and Christmas. We talked about the snow. It pleased me when Jasper actually ordered a meal, instead of a little cup of soup. I was glad he was making an effort to keep himself fed at least.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm moving. To New York."

I nearly choked on my salad.

"What?"

"I'm going to stay with my dad for a few weeks. I want to see about getting an apartment and renting a space for my practice. Most of my patients spend a lot of time on the east coast. It will be easy to keep most of the same patients that I already have."

"But, why? I mean, what about Alice - she's buried here - and your home and all of us. We're your family." I already lost Alice, I wasn't interested in losing my brother too.

"I will come back Bella. I just can't stay here. I care about all of you, but I am suffocating. I can't breathe. Our home smells like her, Bella. I can still smell her. I still have moments where I think she is going to come walking through the front door. I was going through the cabinet the other day and I found a box of that disgusting granola cereal she always ate. I sat on the floor in the kitchen and cried for two hours. Part of me wants to just stay, to continue living like this. But I can't. I can't do it Bella."

"But, do you think it will really be better somewhere else? Will you be okay?"

"I don't know. I have to find out though. I need to be somewhere for a little while where I am not running

into memories around every corner. I made her a promise Bella. I promised I would live my life when she was gone. It wasn't an easy promise to make, and I knew it wouldn't be easy to keep. But here's the thing Bella - it is the only thing I can do for her now. I can't have a conversation with her, I can't hold her, I can't buy her things, I can't see her smile or hear her laugh - but I can keep my promise. I can work and get up and read and eat and do the things that encompass living. I'll have to do it without my heart, because she took that with her - but I can do it. I can't do it here Bella. I'm drowning here. Every time I turn around I am pulled under again. I can't live here."

"But I'll miss you. We all will."

"I'll miss you too. Amazingly, there have been many technological advances through the years - there is this thing called a telephone, and you can use it to call me and talk to me even if I am all the way across the country."

I smiled. "Ah, how I have missed your sarcasm." Our eyes met and we both laughed quietly. Maybe he was right, maybe this was what he needed.

"Besides, if I stay here you and Esme are going to keep taking care of me. You know I love you for it, but I need to start taking care of myself."

"When are you leaving?"

"Actually, I am leaving before Christmas. I already know that I can't handle being here for Christmas. Something I often tell my patients in grief counseling is that they shouldn't put themselves in situations that are going to trigger powerfully painful emotions, especially in the beginning. I'm taking my own advice. Being here for Christmas would just bring me crashing down again."

I knew what he was saying was true. Christmas was going to be painful for all of us, but for Jasper worst of all. He grabbed the hand that I had rested on the table and gave it a little squeeze.

"I'm going to be okay Bella. We're all going to be ok, eventually. You understand, right? Why I need to go?"

"Yes. I do."

When we were finished with our lunch, Jasper and I walked out to the parking lot.

"Should I tell Edward or did you want to?" I knew he was probably hoping I would tell him.

"Well, he usually takes things better when you tell him."

I laughed. "Ah, now I see the real reason you wanted me to meet you for lunch. I should make you tell him yourself." He shifted his face into a look of mock horror.

"Oh, Bella - you wouldn't. How could you be so cruel when I am in such a fragile state." I elbowed him in the ribs and he let out a yelp.

"Geez Bella - I just got done telling you I was fragile, you don't need to go beating me up to prove it."

I was going to get in to my car when he stopped me.

"Wait a second. I almost forgot. I have something in my car for you. I'll be right back."

I smiled as he walked away. This was the best I had seen Jasper since Alice died. I hoped he was right. I hoped that moving would be good for him. I hoped he really would live - and not just exist.

He walked back towards me with a large envelope in his hands. Written on it in Alice's elegant handwriting were the words - For Bella.

He handed the envelope to me.

"I found it in her car. I'm not sure what it is, and I didn't look in it or anything. Obviously she wanted you to have it."

I held the envelope in my hands and stared at the writing. I rubbed my fingers lovingly over the words, thinking of Alice writing them. I put the envelope down on my seat.

I gave Jasper another quick hug.

"We'll all get to see you before you go, right? Give you a proper send-off."

"Yes. I won't leave without saying goodbye."

And with that we drove our separate ways.

I kept stealing glances at the package by my side. Part of me was anxious to tear it open. Part of me was sad and nervous. Alice had prepared whatever was inside for me. While she was living and breathing. It had been left untouched, where she had left it. I foolishly felt like ripping it open would break that connection to my vibrant, alive friend.

I didn't tell anyone about the envelope. I slid it into one of my drawers and I waited, flip-flopping back and forth between what I should do.

Three days later, when Edward left for work, I couldn't take it another minute. I pulled the envelope out and held it in my lap as I sat on the bed. I carefully opened the envelope. I sniffed inside and was surprised that Jasper was right, you could still smell Alice. I breathed in the gentle scent again, and for the first time in so long, I felt like I wanted to cry.

Inside there was a small book. It looked old. The cover had a faded puppy on it, and the corners were all bent and coming apart. It looked like a diary. The kind you might have as a young girl. I flipped it open and there on the first page were the words : **Private Diary of Alice Cullen. Keep Out. That Means you Edward!**

I laughed at the printed words. There was a year written under the words. **2000**. Alice would have been 10 years old - the same as me.

I looked at the first few pages. There were notes about new outfits Esme had bought her, and a party she was going to for her friend Jamie. There was a little drawing of a dog that was cute. I was going to keep flipping through when a smaller envelope fell out from between the pages of the diary. This envelope had my name on it also.

I set the diary down carefully and opened the smaller envelope. There was a letter inside.

_Dear Bella,_

_As I am writing this letter to you I am feeling horribly sick and tired. I don't want this to be the end. I don't want to leave Jasper. If there was any way that I could stay with him, I would - but sadly for me I am out of things to bargain with. I hope that if you are reading this, and I am gone, that he is okay. I am not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of what it will do to him. Keep an eye on him for me. Remind him from time to time how very much I love him. I have a feeling that after I leave you, I'll still love him - wherever I wind up._

_I'm sure you saw the diary already, and you are probably wondering why I wanted you to have it. There is a reason. Edward and Jasper may have told you that I think I'm psychic. I wouldn't say that, but I would say that on more that one occasion I have been able to "see" how things would turn out - how they were meant to be. That was why I wanted to get married to Jasper so quickly after we got engaged. Part of me knew that there was no time left to waste._

_Many years ago, when I was ten I had a dream. I wrote about it in my diary, mainly because it had been so clear. The first time I met you I remembered the dream. It is probably all just coincidence, but I'm not sure. What I am sure of is you and Edward were meant to be together. He is going to need you so much more if I die. Please take good care of him. I hope that after you read about the dream that I had, that you will always remember that some things are just meant to be. Like you and Edward. Like the two of you having a family. You are going to need to alter that wedding gown for your daughter one day. I just know it. (Make sure you get someone good to do it! That dress is my baby.)_

_I love you so much Bella. You are the best sister and friend that anyone ever had. Now open the diary to the page that I marked._

_Yours Forever,_

_Alice_

_PS - You are going to wonder why I never told you or showed the diary before. The answer is - I kind of thought you would think I was crazy. Now, I don't really care._

Something happened as I read the letter. All the numbness I had been feeling for months began thawing out, and tears began rolling down my cheeks.

A ribbon was marking a page of the diary. I opened the book to that page.

**I had a dream last night. Edward was big, like a grown up. I was the same way I am. He told me he had a secret. He said he had a girlfriend. I told him he wasn't allowed to - and he doesn't like girls. Except me. But I am his sister. Then we were in the woods. He showed me a tree. There were letters on it. I.M.S +E.A.C He told me he put them on the tree. He said don't tell dad about the tree. I told him he was weird. Then I woke up. I was going to tell Edward about it in the morning. He wouldn't listen. He said I thought I could tell the future and that I was crazy. I kicked him.**

Isabella Marie Swan……Edward Anthony Cullen. That was not possible. How could she have dreamed that? What were the chances? I wiped the tears on my cheeks and examined the page more carefully, looking for eraser marks, or a difference in handwriting. There was nothing.

I thought I was done with miracles. But as I looked at that page I realized that maybe Edward and I were already a miracle. Maybe, by some bizarre twist of fate we had been meant to meet and fall in love. And wasn't that a miracle?

I closed the journal and refolded the letter. I put it all back in the large envelope and curled up on the bed. Then I wept.

I cried so long and so hard that I exhausted myself. I wound up taking a nap and slept in perfect peace.

The next morning when I groggily made my way to the bathroom I expected to see the tell tale red of my period. I was technically two days late. I had also learned that two days usually didn't mean much to my body. I would start getting excited, only to wind up crampy and disappointed later in the day. In spite of past experience, I still let a little seed of hope form. After reading Alice's letter a dozen more times, I had started to believe her line about us having a family.

It was Christmas Eve tomorrow. I was feeling a little better about life in general after my very cathartic crying jag, but I still wasn't interested in Christmas.

We were meeting up with Carlisle and Esme to drive to Seattle this morning. Jasper was leaving today, and we were all going to say goodbye. I met Edward downstairs after I was finished with my shower. He gave me a quick glance and then that crooked smile appeared on his face.

"What?"

"You look really beautiful." I looked down at what I was wearing. I had thrown on jeans and a sweater. My hair was still damp and I wasn't wearing any make-up. Beautiful?

"You look all lit up, alive."

Lit up, which would mean something similar to radiant. That was the word Jasper had used.

Pregnancy glow? Was that possible? I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. I had to wait another day or two. There was no way. It just couldn't be, and besides - no one would really be able to tell by how I looked. I was sure I didn't look any different than usual. It was probably just that new cleanser I bought, hadn't it promised glowing skin. That was probably it.

"Bella?"

I looked up at Edward's handsome face, inches from my own.

"What?"

"I think you spaced out for a minute. I asked you when you were going to be ready to leave."

"I'll be ready in fifteen minutes. I've just got to dry my hair." I leaned in and kissed his delicious lips. He sighed when I pulled back. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and leaned into him for another moment. I ran my nose along his jaw, thinking once again that if I could bottle his scent I would be a very rich woman.

Edward swatted me on the backside and pulled away.

"If you start that up we aren't going to be leaving in fifteen minutes. Go get ready. I'll take Quil for a quick walk." He walked away while I pouted.

On Christmas Eve I found myself standing in an aisle of the pharmacy, looking at all the rows of pregnancy tests. Three days late. Was that enough time to wait? I decided that the answer was yes.

I knew that your first pee in the morning tended to have the highest levels of pregnancy hormones. I put the little box in the bathroom and prayed that I wouldn't get my period between now and Christmas morning.

We were sitting by the Christmas tree Christmas morning. Edward was drinking his coffee and I was absentmindedly sipping my hot cocoa. It was snowing lightly outside, beautiful in the early morning light. It was still very early. Usually Edward was the one dragging me out of bed at an ungodly hour on Christmas morning, in some ways he was still just a big kid. However, this morning I had been the one up at the crack of dawn. I had had some peeing to do.

There were only two gifts under the tree. Edward noticed my gaze wander that way.

"Shall we open gifts now?" I nodded nervously. He kissed the top of my head and then retrieved the package that contained my gift. He placed it on my lap before he sat down next to me again.

"Thank you Edward." He laughed at me.

"You haven't even opened it yet. Silly Bella."

"Actually, the thank you was for everything. For our home and our life and your love. I know that the past two years haven't been perfect, with the whole baby situation and then Alice. But even for all of that, I would never trade what we have for anything. So thank you."

The crooked grin appeared and my heart raced in my chest - even after all this time.

I opened the package. Edward had purchased us a cruise to Alaska. It looked magnificent.

"I was thinking that maybe Jasper had the right idea. I thought maybe we could use a little change of scenery, too. It's planned and paid for but the dates are open ended. We can go whenever you want."

I jumped into his lap and kissed him full on the lips. "Thank you Edward. And that thank you was for the present." I kissed him again and stood.

"Would you like your present now?" The butterflies in my stomach were so bad that I had trouble talking in a steady voice.

"Yes, please."

I picked up the small box from under the tree and handed it to him. I remained standing, watching his face intently as he unwrapped his gift.

He lifted the lid and I saw the flash of recognition in his eyes as he studied the little stick sitting on the tissue paper. Then those green eyes flashed to the little plus sign present in the window. His mouth hung open for a moment, and then he looked up at me. My eyes were completely teary.

"Bella, is this - I mean - are you - We're having a baby?"

As the tears spilled over I nodded yes.

He tackled me to the ground before I knew what was happening. His arms were wrapped around me and he was kissing me everywhere. "I love you so much Bella. I love you, I can't believe this. We're finally going to have a baby. I love you. I love you so much." He kept up with the "I love you"s for the next ten minutes. Then he moved down and pulled my shirt up off of my belly. He kissed my belly and started talking to it.

"Hello in there, baby. Your mommy and daddy have been waiting for you so long. We love you so much. You get big and strong in there okay?" I ran my fingers through his hair as he talked. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

"We have to tell everyone." He jumped up and grabbed my coat and hat. "Quick, get these on." My gloves came flying at me from across the room.

"But I'm in my pajamas."

"I know - but it's fine. Hurry." He came back in the room with boots pulled on his feet, and a jacket.

He dragged me to the door while I was still tucking my hands into my gloves.

When we reached the bottom of the porch steps, he grabbed me and tossed me up so that I was on his back piggy-back style. He then took off at a run down the rough path he had cut to his parents' house.

He was insane. What if he fell or ran into a tree? I tucked my face into his neck and laughed. I closed my eyes and didn't reopen them until we were at our destination. He let me slide back to the ground and I laughed at the sight of him. His cheeks were red and he was panting for breath. His hair hadn't been tidy when he got out of bed, but now it was wind-blown with little flakes of snow stuck in it.

"Come on you, quit laughing." I bit my lip, hoping to stifle the last of my giggles.

We stood at the front door and Edward knocked, as the door was locked. Carlisle answered the door in his bathrobe. He looked puzzled by our appearance. We were supposed to be coming over for dinner tonight. We were obviously early.

"Merry Christmas, grandpa. We're having a baby!" He hugged his father fiercely. Carlisle met my eyes over Edward's shoulder and mouthed the word "really". I nodded. He smiled. When Edward finally let him go he gave me a hug and kiss.

"Congratulations. That is going to be one lucky baby. He's going to have great parents."

I raised an eyebrow. "He?"

He laughed. "Well, I didn't want to say 'it'!"

Esme heard the commotion and came out onto the porch.

"What are you doing here? And why are you all out on the porch? It's freezing out here."

Edward took a hold of his mother's hands.

"Mom, Bella's pregnant. We're having a baby."

Then Esme let out a shriek, the kind of high piercing yell that only the female part of the population is capable of making. She started jumping up and down and clapping her hands. She looked like she had just won a new car on a game show - it was comical.

She gave Edward a hug and kiss and then came at me. She hugged me so tightly I couldn't breathe.

"Oh my beautiful daughter. I knew it would happen. I knew it. I'm so happy for you."

We finally made our way inside. Esme laughed when she saw that we were still in our pajamas.

Esme called my parents and invited them over. When my mom walked in she walked straight to me and said, "Are you pregnant?"

I said yes and she grabbed onto me and cried. She said something that sounded like "thank God."

My father shook Edward's hand and made jokes with Carlisle about being grandparents.

My dad leaned over to Edward and said, "Let's hope he's got your pitching arm." Edward let out a laugh.

"What is it with you men. There is an equal chance that it will be a girl." And that was my hope. A beautiful girl, like the one we had all lost.

We ditched the plan for a solemn Christmas. Esme made enough food for an army. My parents stayed right through dinner. My mom and I accompanied Esme to the attic where she showed us Edward's old crib.

" I meant to show it to you before. It just never seemed like the right time."

I understood what she meant.

Edward was adorable. He had his hands on my stomach all day. He had on the goofiest grin, and I was so in love with him that it hurt. He made me eat so much I thought I would pop.

"You can't keep feeding me like that. I'm going to gain a hundred pounds." He held out a cookie and I took a bite.

"Hey, you're the one who keeps eating."

I blushed.

When it was getting late, my parents finally decided to head home. They offered us a ride but we wanted to walk. The snow had stopped and there was a bright moon shining. As we got our jackets on I realized that we spent the whole day in our pajamas.

We walked home hand in hand. Edward stopped often to kiss me. It was cold.

"I know you weren't looking forward to Christmas this year, but I think this may be the best Christmas I have ever had." Edward said as his breath frosted in the air.

"You're right. It has been a wonderful Christmas."

"I can't believe you kept it a secret all morning."

"I can't either. I almost told you a hundred times. Why do you think I kept looking at the presents under the tree?"

"Well, next time you have to let me be with you when you take the test. I want to be there right when you find out."

"Next time?"

"Yes, next time. Now that we know we're actually capable of reproducing I plan on getting you pregnant many times."

"Define many."

He laughed. "Let's say we start with two, and then we'll go from there."

His optimism was contagious. At that moment anything seemed possible.

"I feel kind of bad, I mean all I got you for Christmas was a cruise, and you gave me a baby."

"Technically, we made the baby together - I just gave you a stick that I peed on."

"Gee, when you put it that way, I guess I got shafted." We were both laughing as we entered the house.

I decided I needed to show Edward the diary and letter Alice gave me. This day had been so magical, and for me a lot of that magic seemed to start when Jasper handed me the envelope.

I retrieved the diary and letter from my office and made up a plate of Christmas cookies. I had done some baking in an effort to cheer myself up, and I didn't want my effort to be wasted.

I was waiting for Edward at the kitchen table, with my cookies and a glass of milk. He snickered when he saw me.

"Okay Bella. It's really going to be my fault if you gain a hundred pounds."

"Shut up about the food. I promise I won't get all fat. Don't worry. Sit down, I want to show you something." I slid the diary and letter over to him. He read the letter and then looked in the diary. I knew right when he reached our initials because he said "Holy Shit" quite loudly.

He flipped a few of the pages of the diary and glanced at other entries. Then he looked at the letter again. Finally he put it all down and stared at me.

"How is that possible?"

I shrugged - I had no plausible explanation.

"She did seem to know things though. It was weird. Little things, like if we should grab an umbrella before we left or if we'd get caught if we snuck out."

"Jasper said the same thing."

"Bella, I don't think I will ever doubt miracles again. Between you finding out about being pregnant on Christmas and this diary. I do believe that it's all meant to be. I've always felt that way about you. I felt like I was meant to be with you five minutes after we met."

He kissed the tip of my nose and grabbed a cookie from the plate. He chewed thoughtfully.

"Mmm. These are really good." He stole a swig of milk and then began talking again.

"It's strange, it felt kind of like Alice was with us today - in spirit or whatever you want to call it. I just felt close to her today. Closer than I have since she's been gone."

I had felt the same way.

Later that night Edward started a fire in the living room fireplace. He was planning on us watching "It's a Wonderful Life." I had other plans.

I went to our room and dug in my drawer. I pulled out my black corset, garter belt and stockings. Edward's favorites. I grabbed my 4 inch black stilettos from the closet and got dressed. I left my hair down after brushing it for the first time today. I also brushed my teeth. I checked myself over in the mirror. I couldn't remember ever feeling so sexy. I walked down the stairs and then put my shoes on. No point in ending our Christmas with a trip to the emergency room.

I fluffed my hair and prowled into the living room.

"There's one more thing for you to unwrap Edward."

He turned to me and a slow smile spread across his face. He stared unashamed.

He walked toward me and reached his hand out. He ran his fingers up my bare arm. It sent chills through my body.

"Bella, beautiful Bella." He kissed my neck. Alternating between swipes of his tongue and nips of his teeth. When his lips met mine, my knees nearly buckled. He sensed my lack of control and grabbed me around the waist.

His mouth was sweet like the cookies. He grazed my bottom lip with his teeth and then licked over it with his tongue. His breath was warm on my face. Our lips met and moved in a practiced dance. Our tongues glided over each other, tasting - caressing.

He walked me to the middle of the rug in front of the fireplace. I wasn't wearing any panties and a small drop of my arousal began to slide down the inside of my thigh. It glimmered in the firelight.

"You know how much I love this on you Bella. You are so beautiful. I want to be in you, right now."

He sunk to his knees in front of me. He unclipped the stocking on my right leg and slid it down, sinfully slow. His bronze hair looked like the colors of the flames in the dark. As he pulled the stocking down he kissed my leg, gliding his lips from my hip down to my ankle. He helped me balance as he slid off my shoe and removed the stocking. He repeated the process with my left leg. Only this time he moved to my inner thigh and greedily licked up the wetness that had spilled from me.

"Put the shoes back on."

I obeyed. I loved when he got all commanding.

He stood back up and I drew his shirt up over his head. The cut of his chest even more defined in the light of the fire. I was getting hot, and it had nothing to do with the warm and cozy fireplace. I leaned over and caressed him with my tongue, licking over every ridge of his abdomen. He straightened me back up and slid his hands back around my waist. His right hand moved lower, cupping my ass and bringing my body closer to his. He slipped my breasts up and out of the confines of the corset. The tips peaked and tightened as he ran his palms over them. He cupped one of my breasts and brought his perfect lips to it. I threw my head back and sighed as the sensation ran through me.

Edward took my hand and led me over to the wall. He faced me away from him and pushed me up against it. He positioned my hands so that they were above my head, palms against the wall. He slid his pants down just enough to release his glorious erection. I was so ready for him, and he leaned in and eased every inch, from tip to base, into my body. He thrust in and withdrew slowly, coating himself in my arousal. My ears could hear the slick slide of the movements.

"I love these heels on you. They make you the perfect height."

He took his index finger and slid it into my mouth. I sucked on it eagerly, swirling my tongue around the tip. His breathing picked up as well as the tempo of his hips. When he slid his finger out of my mouth I let out a small whine of protest. He slid his still wet finger down between my legs, gently massaging my clit. If his body wasn't pressed so tightly against mine I would have been on the floor. My legs had completely turned to jelly.

He sucked at my shoulder. I began moving against him, creating my own rhythm against his hand and pushing back to meet his thrusts - taking him in deeper. I was about to explode when he pulled completely out. I reached back, trying to grab him and coax him back. Instead he slid open the fasteners of the corset and let it fall to the floor. I turned to face him. I slid the garter belt off of my hips and let it fall to the floor with the rest of my lingerie.

I left the shoes on.

Edward kicked his pants all the way off and followed me back to the rug.

I lay on the carpet in the light of the fire. Our bodies were glistening with sweat. I lay back and Edward leaned down over me. He was back in me quickly, not wasting a moment. I snaked my hips against him, the friction created between our bodies was far beyond pleasure. I let the tips of my heels graze against Edward's thighs, and used them like little spurs- giving him a quick jab when I wanted him to speed up. He grunted his approval. He had his hands planted at the sides of my head and was holding his upper body away from me, dipping down occasionally to kiss my lips or suck on my breasts. I ran my hands over the muscular planes of his chest, his skin slick and hot.

He leaned his body lower onto mine. I continued to writhe against him, the mounting tension below my belly begging for release. He thrust into me with greater urgency and I knew he was fighting for control.

My back arched up as I began to come. My breath was stilled by the intensity. Edward looked into my eyes and then my name left his lips as he throbbed and spilled inside of me.

He rolled his body off of me and lay on the carpet by my side. His hair was dark with sweat and he looked sleepy.

"I think it's time for a shower." I brushed the damp hair off of my forehead and nodded in agreement.

We finished the night, cuddled on the couch, watching the movie by the glow of the Christmas tree. It had been a wonderful Christmas, after all.

Time kept on its merry way. Our baby was due in September, the same month that Alice had died a year ago. I hadn't been surprised by this, it seemed to me that someone up there was really laying the whole miracle thing on pretty thick.

And so it was that on a warm September evening we were headed to the hospital. This time we would be welcoming new life, instead of saying goodbye. We hadn't found out if we were having a boy or a girl. We picked out names for both and were anxious to meet our little one.

Carlisle was already working at the hospital when we arrived. He promised to check in every so often to see how we were doing. Esme and my parents all arrived shortly after I was all checked in and settled in my room. My water broke, 6 days before our due date. I was having contractions but they weren't regular or intense yet. My doctor advised us to walk the halls for a while. I walked with Edward and Esme and my mom. My dad was a little unnerved by it all. He was more comfortable keeping his nose buried in a magazine. That was fine with me.

It was slow going. My parents and Edward's parents went home, but we promised we would call them right away if things started progressing faster. I was given some medicine and was able to get a small amount of sleep through the night. In the morning, around 5:00 am things started picking up. The contractions were getting worse and they were coming every 6minutes, barely enough time to catch my breath in between. Edward called our families and they hurried back. I wanted them all here, but I only wanted Edward in the room with me. This was our moment. At 6:00 I was ready to start pushing. I was so exhausted already, I had no idea how I was supposed to summon the energy to push this child out.

Edward wiped my forehead with a cool cloth.

"You're doing such a good job, honey. Just a little more. You just need to push and we'll have our baby."

I nodded. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. I worked so hard and felt like I was getting no where.

"You're doing so great Bella. Don't give up, just a little more honey. You can do this."

With the next push I felt like my body was being split in two. I was vaguely aware of the doctor saying that the head was out. Edward was nearly bouncing with excitement. With a last push and an emptying rush, our baby was born.

6:37 a.m.

Time.

Just as time marked the death of my sister, time now marked the moment of life for our daughter.

I was handed a bundle of blankets wearing a pink knit hat. I stared at her in wonder while Edward kissed me and cried. I pulled the hat off and we both gasped. She had a head full of dark brown hair that was still slick and damp.

The doctor finally finished her work down below. Edward held our child while they changed my bedding. I was glad I had been preoccupied during all of it - the mess they were clearing away looked like it belonged at a crime scene.

I settled myself back on the bed and Edward handed her back to me. He climbed on the bed next to me and I settled into his arms. She yawned and we both laughed.

"She looks just like you Bella. My God, she's so beautiful. I have never seen anything more perfect."

He kissed my cheek. "You were amazing. I'm so proud of you."

Our family filed into the room. My parents came in first. My mom couldn't even speak. She just stared at her grandchild. My dad, in his typical fashion, was most worried about me - and once he was convinced that I was ok, then he looked at the baby.

Carlisle and Esme came in and Esme was carrying a bouquet of flowers as big as she was. They both gave me a hug and then went bonkers over their first grandchild. They agreed with Edward that she looked just like me. She opened her little eyes wide and Esme smiled when she saw that the baby's eyes were green.

Edward ran to get me some breakfast. When he came back, he was talking to someone with a low familiar voice - Jasper. I smiled as they came into the room together. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and held my hand.

"You came."

"I got here as quickly as I could. How could I miss this. You're my family, remember." He squeezed my hand again.

Edward clapped him on the back and led him over to the little bassinette where the baby was sleeping. He stared at her wide eyed. She moved her little fingers in her sleep. He smiled.

"She's so tiny. Like a doll."

He stared for another moment. My heart ached for him. I didn't think he would ever have a child of his own.

"She looks just like you, Bella."

Edward and I laughed. We had heard that a lot today.

"She has her daddy's eyes though."

I noticed how proud Edward looked when I called him daddy. Jasper continued looking at his niece.

_

* * *

__(Edward)_

I got out of the car and looked at the sleeping princess in the backseat. She was three weeks old today. I had never been more in love. My girls were more precious to me than anything in the world. I strapped on the baby carrier and gently nestled the sleepy bundle into it. She didn't even wake up. I used a hand to keep her little head steady and began the walk down the path I knew so well. I nuzzled the impossibly soft hair on her head. I breathed in her smell. She smelled like milk and Bella and Baby Magic soap. It was the most comforting scent imaginable.

I reached my destination quickly. There were fresh flowers. Jasper had probably been here earlier in the week. I looked at the stone marking Alice's grave. I couldn't believe she had been gone for more than a year already.

I cleared my throat. Sometimes when I visited I left flowers. Sometimes I just stood quietly for a while. Today, I had things to say.

"Hey Alice. This is your niece. My daughter. (I stumbled over the word, it always choked me up to say it.) Her name is Mary. Mary Alice Cullen. Bella thought we should call her Mary, since we found out at Christmas, and by Bella logic - Mary is pretty much the mother of all miracles. And of course her middle name is Alice, because I think you had as much to do with our little miracle as anyone. She's so beautiful. She looks just like Bella, except she has green eyes. Bella is an incredible mom. She knows how to do everything. The funny thing is that with Mary, Bella is suddenly not clumsy. She can walk down the stairs, with Mary in her arms and not even stumble. She's suddenly graceful. Talk about miracles! We miss you. I hate that Mary won't get to grow up knowing you the way that I did. Jasper is doing okay. He's still living in New York. He comes here once a month. He doesn't know that we know. Sometimes he stops in to visit when he comes, and sometimes we just know because he left flowers. He misses you most, but I know you already know that. I read the diary and letter you left for Bella. It's almost unbelievable. I was thinking about Mary and Bella the other night and I realized something. I thought I was always a good brother to you - watching out for you and taking care of you like a big brother should. But after reading your letter I realized something. Maybe that wasn't exactly how things were. Maybe you were more like my guardian angel. Maybe you were the one always looking out for me."

I didn't know what else to say. Mary stirred, making a tiny cry while her little legs kicked.

I gently touched her cheek with my fingertip and she settled. "Shh. It's okay my little angel."

I placed my hand on Alice's gravestone. I blinked back some tears and then I turned to go home.

Mary fell back asleep as I walked.

I drove back to our home lost in thought. What was a miracle? I realized that sometimes miracles come in the shape of brown haired girls that steal your heart away. I realized that sometimes miracles are disguised as little sisters, that push your life in the right direction. And sometimes, miracles are tiny beautiful bundles, strapped into car seats, dreaming beautiful dreams.

I had been blessed with so many miracles. I didn't need anything more to make my life complete - I had all I could ever want.

_**The End…. Yes, Happily Ever After**_.

_**I wish you all a wonderful Breaking Dawn! **_

_**PS - This is my last fanfic - but please feel free to PM anytime. And you'll be hearing from me - I'm an excellent reviewer and I intend to get back to reading all of your wonderful stories. Love you! C**_


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